My friend's birthday is today...

[MR2-Sooner86]

He would have been 30.

http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v369/77/56/92401322/n92401322_30208036_3129.jpg

That was him right before he left to go to Europe for a year to study abroad. He came back in late August '09 and on September 15th he died in a car accident.

There are many things that "I wish..." looking back now but I can't and it eats me up inside sometimes.

Anybody here lose a friend before their time? There things you wish you could go back and change? How did you deal with it and continue to deal with it today?

[The Profit]

I am sorry that you lost your good friend, and it is a nice tribute to be thinking about him on his birthday. I have lost several good friends from my childhood, my high school days and the crazy college days. I am sure your friend knew where he was with you. Hey, you will see each other again.

[C&CDean]

Unfortunately, you'll lose many more - if you're lucky. I had a good friend kill himself with a steak knife on New Years Eve. NYE just ain't much fun any more.

[StoopTroup]

Like Dean said. I've lost quite a few now. Family is harder than friends but neither are a piece of cake especially if you are close to your friends Family and friends.

Think about all he did instead of what he could have done and remember....God makes the ones who stay behind tough enough to remember them and honor them.

[KantoSooner]

A guy who was like a brother to me asphixiated in a hammock because he got waaaaaaaaaay too drunk and smoked way too much while suffering from asthma.
That was in 1995 and he left a wife and daughter.

Miss him daily, still pissed at him, too.

Keep moving. The pain kind of gets to be something you're used to.

[olevetonahill]

Yer having "Survivors Guilt"
After over 40 years I still wake up wondering "What If". Ya just try to realize that you did all you could at the time and Try to put it behind you

Have a Drink or 30 in his honor and Move forward ;)

[BillyBall]

Sorry man, unfortunately I have had way too many friends and siblings die too young. Just try to live life in their memory.

[Jammin']

That sucks man. I've lost several very close friends. Two in back to back years on July 4th. (I feel your NYE pain Dean). It's been a long time ago (19 and 20 years) and I still think about them and in one case, what I could have done to stop it. But not as much anymore unless someone comes along and posts stuff like this.

I hope to see a lot more friends die though before I go, but the reality is I'll probably go before them. Oh well, life goes on...until it doesn't.

[WichitaSooner]

numCZoBFcv4

Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I can't deal it's so unfair

And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away

Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and Hail Mary's
Can't bring back what's taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would

And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that you've gone away

[2121Sooner]

Had a friend of mine take his life a little over a year ago. Still hurts and I think about him often when we are doing stuff with friends that I know he would have enjoyed.

Just know you did all you could when your friend was alive and continue to celebrate your memories of him the rest of your life.

[AlbqSooner]

I lost a very close friend many years ago. It gnawed at me for a very long time. The idea of you having done all you could and moving on is great advice, but I was having trouble moving on. Later when my mom died I really struggled with it. My pastor suggested something that worked for me.

Think of your friend and make a list - either mental or written - of all the people who can say, "My life was better because he was in it for however short or long a time." When I did that, I was able to see that although my friend left this life far too soon, he left a lot of people far better off because he was in it. Hope this helps you as well.

God Bless.

[Boomer.....]

I lost one of my best friends right after high school. We were very close but he got into drugs and started hanging out with that crowd. He started lying about who he was hanging out with and it eventually led to us not hanging out. On his birthday celebration, his drug friends were throwing him, he left the party after being told not to drive. It was snowing and very cold but he wanted to meet up with a lady friend. He did it anyways and ended up spinning out and wrecking. He was not in his right mind and decided to walk, leaving his coat in his car. They found him the next day froze to death in a field.

[yermom]

that story sounds vaguely familiar...

i've lost two friends from highschool already (i'm 35)

we weren't really all that close though, just guys i played nerd games and drank with.

i did lose my dad going on 22 years ago. that hasn't gotten particularly easy to deal with yet.

[Boomer.....]

I've also lost a handful of friends to overdoses and car wrecks. Very sad.

[C&CDean]

that story sounds vaguely familiar...

i've lost two friends from highschool already (i'm 35)

we weren't really all that close though, just guys i played nerd games and drank with.

i did lose my dad going on 22 years ago. that hasn't gotten particularly easy to deal with yet.

I lost my dad last year - on NYE as well. Craig (dude who offed himself with a steak knife) doesn't even come close to the loss of pop in terms of "dealing with it". My dad was a prince. Craig was a dumbass who thought roids would bring him happiness. Life. It's a bitch sometimes...