Take the Wonderlic

[badger]

Via ESPN.com:


10. "If your average relationship lasts 4.5 months, how many months would it take to date all of the Kardashian sisters?" from Mark M. of Apopka, Fla.

9. "If Terry Bradshaw can't spell 'c-a-t' and won four Super Bowls while Chad Pennington is smart but hasn't won any, what does that make Cade McNown?" from Ben M. of Peoria, Ill.

8. "If Train A heads south at 85 mph and Train B heads north at 130 mph, considering air resistance, how much will James Harrison be fined when they collide?" from Brian B. of Muskego, Wis.

7. "What is a fibula? A -- A bone in your leg; B -- A knot in your thigh; C -- A small lie," from Jack F. of Falls Church, Va.

6. "If an owner makes $30 million on ticket sales and $50 million on shared TV money but spends $100 million on JaMarcus Russell, how long will it take for the owner to realize he wrecked a once-storied franchise?" from Matt M. of Paramus, N.J.

5. "If a quarterback falls on everyone's draft board but nobody is around to hear him fall, does he make a sound?" from Mike M. of Wilmington, Del.

4. "With an annual income of $4 million and the following monthly payments -- $15,000 for your crew, $5,000 to par-tay, $25,000 for mansion mortgage, $10,000 for car payments, $10,000 for legal fees, $20,000 for clothes and jewelry, $200 for child support -- how many months after retirement before you declare bankruptcy?" from Kyle I. of Amarillo, Texas.

3. "If you have $3,000 in cash and the 10 ladies in the 'champagne room' of the local strip club require $100 each for a dance, who will you blame when the security guard is shot?" from Tim R. of Grand Junction, Colo.

2. "If a player starts his career with 100 percent cognitive ability and loses 3 percent after each concussion, how much cognitive ability will be left after his 12th concussion? A -- 100 percent; B -- 3 percent; C -- 74 percent; D -- the same as a tomato," from Ben S. of Appleton, Wis.

1. "How do you spell 'Wonderlic'?" from Dave H. of Toledo.

Go ahead and answer if you dare :D

[goingoneight]

I don't wanna take the Wonderlic. I might score a four and end up playing QB for Tejas. :(

[MyT Oklahoma]

And you get extra credit if you can also answer these:

What color is Washington's white horse?

When was the War of 1812 fought?

What famous President was born on Lincoln's birthday?

What famous general lies buried in Grant's Tomb?

[badger]

Here's the version I created a year ago for Pride Drum Major applicants:


Football comprehension quiz (All true/false - so you maybe judged competent by accident)

1. Gaining eight yards is good, whether your team is on 1st down (with 10 to go) or 3rd down (with 10 to go)

2. When an official negates your team's first down or touchdown with a penalty flag, the flag should be ignored, because it was still a good play on the part of the first down/touchdown earner.

3. When your defense tackles an opposing player, it does not matter where they tackle the opposing player, be it in first down territory, a late hit out of bounds, or in the endzone after scoring. The main thing is that our defense made a tackle.

4. When your team's quarterback completes a pass, it does not matter who the pass is completed to, so long as the catch is made. If the pass is completed to an opponent, it is still a completed pass.

5. When your team fails to convert on fourth down, it is not a big deal, because that just results in the officials making it first down again, even if it is first down for the other team.

6. Football, as the name implies, is a game involving the foot making contact with the ball. Thus, when your team fails to convert on third down and is forced to punt or try a field goal, this is something to be celebrated.

7. Your team just fumbled the ball into the endzone without breaking the plane. However, the ball rolled into the endzone, so this much be a touchdown and should be celebrated.

8. Your team was just called for holding in its own endzone. This can be ignored, because penalties in the endzone do not count, as you can't do half the distance to the goal once you're inside your own goal. Hey, the ref looks like he's praying to the sky...

9. The best time to make noise is when your team is on offense, because this is when your fans are most quiet and ready to listen to beautiful music.

10. Your team is on defense, hopelessly behind and the other team appears to be taking knees every play. This is good thing, because your defense is causing the other team to lose yardage and will have to punt soon if the clock doesn't run out first.

[BetterSoonerThanLater]

love it.

for the record, the answer to every question is 42

[badger]

You all pass. Now, only the player interviews:

Dez Bryant, your dad was a pimp, so that means your mom was a prostitute, right?

:stunned:

(yes, Dez was actually asked if mommy was a prostitute)

[oudavid1]

i scores higher on the wonderlic than every QB from last years draft except one....Sam Bradford.

[Leroy Lizard]

Badger missed one, courtesy of the Blake years:

If there is one uncovered dot on the Twister mat, how many players do you have ready to step on the field?

[texaspokieokie]

i scores higher on the wonderlic than every QB from last years draft except one....Sam Bradford.

Not fair, you make all A's.

[mainline13]

And you get extra credit if you can also answer these:

What color is Washington's white horse?

When was the War of 1812 fought?

What famous President was born on Lincoln's birthday?

What famous general lies buried in Grant's Tomb?


I'm gonna have to bite on this one. Three of these are classic misleading questions (the horse was Gray, as they only register albino horses as White - the war of 1812 was fought from 1812 to 1815 - and nobody is buried in Grant's tomb, as it is an above-ground crypt). Unlike the others, the Lincoln question appears to have the obvious as its answer.

Now, if you had used Washington, then you'd have a somewhat similar question to the others, since he was born before we adopted the Gregorian calendar, which event changed the date by 11 days. I can't remember if that puts George's birthday on 2/11 or 3/5, but either way, it is and it isn't 2/22.

[Jason]

i scores higher on the wonderlic than every QB from last years draft except one....Sam Bradford.

Did Sam beat you on the grammar question? :P

[oudavid1]

Did Sam beat you on the grammar question? :P

thank God someone caught it.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

Here's the version I created a year ago for Pride Drum Major applicants:Why did they ever let you out of WI? Please do a True-False test for WI teacher's union applicants.

[badger]

Why did they ever let you out of WI? Please do a True-False test for WI teacher's union applicants.

Haha, I have no beef with Wisconsin teachers from personal experience. I was a brat and too smartieness for my own good back in grade school. The DM thing on the other hand is built up frustration from years in band and then afterward, wondering why in the hell we're playing "Boomer Sooner" after the other team scores, when we're about to punt, you name it :(

But efff it, here goes:

1- Snow days are to be called under absolutely no circumstances, even when there's two feet of snow falling within an hour.

2- Any excuse to get out of wearing profession attire is a good one, especially the Green Bay Packers on the Fridays before football games.

3- If you have a good idea for how to spend money to improve the quality of a classroom or a project or experience that you feel would enhance the educational process, there is funding available if only you would just request it from your district administrator.

4- The best way to get taxpayers to vote for a school referendum is never a la carte. Group air conditioning, new classrooms, a gymnasium and new equipment together. Otherwise, the old folks probably will keep you sweating through Wisconsin's occasional warm weather.

5- School burn down recently? Simply throw a building together as quickly and as cheaply as possible, even if it means the students are going to find ways to abuse the crappy building in the future, like running into walls to see how much of the ceiling falls. (it wasn't me, but this did happen)

OK, that's all I can think of offhand.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

Haha, I have no beef with Wisconsin teachers from personal experience. I was a brat and too smartieness for my own good back in grade school. The DM thing on the other hand is built up frustration from years in band and then afterward, wondering why in the hell we're playing "Boomer Sooner" after the other team scores, when we're about to punt, you name it :(

But efff it, here goes:

1- Snow days are to be called under absolutely no circumstances, even when there's two feet of snow falling within an hour.

2- Any excuse to get out of wearing profession attire is a good one, especially the Green Bay Packers on the Fridays before football games.

3- If you have a good idea for how to spend money to improve the quality of a classroom or a project or experience that you feel would enhance the educational process, there is funding available if only you would just request it from your district administrator.

4- The best way to get taxpayers to vote for a school referendum is never a la carte. Group air conditioning, new classrooms, a gymnasium and new equipment together. Otherwise, the old folks probably will keep you sweating through Wisconsin's occasional warm weather.

5- School burn down recently? Simply throw a building together as quickly and as cheaply as possible, even if it means the students are going to find ways to abuse the crappy building in the future, like running into walls to see how much of the ceiling falls. (it wasn't me, but this did happen)

OK, that's all I can think of offhand.Bully for you. You're a good sport! I guess had in mind more something like a true-false test for applicants for any public sector union jobs. Maybe something such as:
1)Collective bargaining is important to the public sector because it's the only way a govt. employee can receive fair compensation.
2)Republican legislators will be-downgrade pay for all govt. jobs, except their own.
3)Teachers should not be required to exhibit any degree of proficiency, or even competency, in any traditional subject of study, such as mathematics, American History etc.

[badger]

Nah Rush, teaching in Wisky is tough as are admin positions - applicants must be teachers for three years before being eligible to become a principal, for example. But hey, let's keep that fun for the South Oval.

For those of you still tuned in waiting for an actual Wonderlic, here is one for you:

Link (http://espn.go.com/page2/s/closer/020228test.html)

I took it a few years back and I think I got about a 40. For those of you that want something a little bit simpler but still college-level material, ESPN posted the final exam of a UGA basketball course... taught by a coach :D

Link (http://espn.go.com/sportsnation/quiz/_/id/600)

[Sabanball]

Our GMac did pretty good on his--highest score in 6 yrs I think. Of course, the guy was a rhodes scholar finalist so I'm not surprised...

http://www.sportingnews.com/nfl/feed/2011-01/2011-nfl-draft/story/alabamas-greg-mcelroy-records-near-perfect-wonderlic-score