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SunnySooner
2/14/2011, 04:14 PM
in the Fulmer Cup standings. Thanks, KS and TJ, boneheads. :( S'ok, I still love ya. I think we're safe, though, UVA is RUNNING AWAY with this one...

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/540666/fulmercup-48_medium.jpg


Redshirt sophomore linebacker Ausar Walcott, sophomore cornerback Devin Wallace and sophomore center Mike Price each face three misdemeanor charges of simple assault or battery and one felony charge of entering a house to commit assault and battery stemming from an incident that occured Jan. 30, according to Virginia online court records. The three players were arrested Tuesday.

Some sort of throwdown with that tough crowd at JMU.:rolleyes:

Oops, 7. I suck at typing numbers. ;)

2121Sooner
2/14/2011, 04:19 PM
Switzer would have never allowed us to be that low in the rankings!!!!

badger
2/14/2011, 04:34 PM
In case you're wondering how we got our Fat Fulmer points:

Two points in January:

Anyway, while we were doing this Bob Stoops was popping around the corner from the porch with the hot tub and saying "Please, have a seat" to freshmen Kenneth Stills and Tony Jefferson, since he had some things he wanted to discuss with them. Stills was arrested on a misdemeanor DUI complaint at 2:00 a.m. Saturday, while Jefferson was given an "interfering with an official process" charge. You probably get this charge when you are a large drunken football player telling the police to "leave my boy alone," a sentiment that might come out as you butting in tipsily over and over again until the cops give you a citation and threaten you with tasing.

For falling for boozy college town entrapment, the Oklahoma Sooners receive one point each for each misdemeanor here, and thus earn two points in the Fulmer Cup Standings. You're free to walk out the front door, boys BOOM TASERED BY THE LONG BEACH POLICE DEPARTMENT TAKE THAT PERP---

Two more points last July:

Why, oh why, does two drinks seem to make the most sense to drunk drivers pulled over for suspicion of DUI? No one admits to having three drinks, perhaps because three drinks is quite a vent of the old steam valve if you're doing it properly. Admitting four is just admitting that you've had twelve, because four properly mixed drinks should get anyone but the most hardened soldier a proper degree of welcome shell shock. Five and above is the truth, and should never tell that when asked the question "How many drinks have you had tonight?" by anyone.

Isn't that right, Peter?

So two drinks it is in the brain of the drunk, the total amount Oklahoma fifth-year senior Mossis Madu admitted to having when Norman police pulled him over at 3 a.m. on Saturday in an overly chill state. (Overly chill to drive, that is.) Madu may not have been lying when he said two drinks as long as they were served in beer steins, and were martinis: he blew a robust 0.19 on the breath test, and was charged with DUI.

Madu's hopes for playing time may not be dead, however. Bob Stoops says he expects Murray to shoulder much of the load this season in an Adrian Peterson-ish fashion. This means Murray has a 66% chance of breaking his collarbone, so stay fit, Mossis. In the meantime, you score two points for the Oklahoma Sooners in the Fulmer Cup. Also, if you're reading this out loud in your head, we're pronouncing this "Moss-Iss," because that is a very, very silly way to spell Charleton Heston's name, and we would say that to your parents and their faces and everything.


Two points (initially one) almost one year ago today:

We've never, in the course of many man-hours logged in bars, had to urinate in a bar. In the bathroom in a bar, yes. Errantly on the floors of that bathroom? Definitely. In the tub of ice keeping beer cold in a bar? Perhaps, though we would say that we only did it for our country, and not on a random dare with the payoff of a single basket of chicken fingers.*

Austin Box, Oklahoma junior linebacker, did see fit to pee in a bar, more specifically on the barstools of Skky Bar. Box started four games at middle linebacker in 2009, played in ten, and bears a striking resemblance to Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.


Box was told "he had to go" by bouncers at the club, the universal sign for "you are too hellaciously intoxicated to be dealt with, and are currently orbiting Venus." Box was then seen urinating on barstools near the entrance of Skky Bar at around 2 a.m. Saturday, arrested, and charged with a complaint of "outraging public decency." Oklahoma earns one point in the Fulmer Cup, while Christina Hendricks dodges all charges of outraging public decency by stunning all law enforcement officials within thirty yards with an ambient, impenetrable cloud of pure zafitg sex. (But she's guilty. So, so guilty.)

Since they only have us at two thus far, those last two entries were for last year, not this year... but just another reminder of how young and foolish our kids can be.

jumperstop
2/14/2011, 04:34 PM
What is this? A ranking of the most run-in's with the law? I can't believe we are tied with Florida...

badger
2/14/2011, 04:43 PM
I can't believe we are tied with Florida...

Urban Meyer's gone. believe it, kid!

Canyonero
2/14/2011, 05:03 PM
18 points already is very impressive, Georgia won it last year with 21

Bourbon St Sooner
2/14/2011, 05:11 PM
Isn't Penn State near the top of those standings every year?

jumperstop
2/14/2011, 05:24 PM
Isn't Penn State near the top of those standings every year?

Well when your coach is 90 it's easy to get in trouble. It's like growing up, when you go to grandpa's house he lets you get away with things that dad wouldn't let you get away with. That's as good as I got. :D

SunnySooner
2/14/2011, 07:26 PM
Go Big 12. ;)

SouthCarolinaSooner
2/15/2011, 12:14 AM
Wow Virginia is rollin early, thats an impressive score, they could challenge 08 'Bama as the all time greatest!

Gandalf_The_Grey
2/15/2011, 12:35 AM
Tennessee will get to rolling pretty soon as well!!

agoo758
2/22/2011, 02:27 PM
What was Virginia doing? Is Charlottesville some kind of drug trafficking area that I am unaware of? :eek?:

Jacie
2/22/2011, 02:40 PM
Points are scored for each charge received by players. (Players must be on the team roster at the time of the offense). The scoring for the Fulmer Cup is imprecise — murder is 5 points; rape, bestiality, and grand larceny are 4 points; assault et al. are 3; drug possession et al. are 2; and misdemeanors are 1 point. Bonus points are awarded for arrests that occur under interesting and unusual circumstances.

In order to be eligible to win the Fulmer cup, a school must have more than one player charged. In other words, a school may not win the cup on the basis of a single player's criminal record. This is known as the Ellis T. Jones III rule, after the San Jose State wide receiver who in 2006 was charged with 13 felony counts, including robbery, assault, and kidnapping; accumulating 31 points.

Previous Winners

2006: Marshall University
2007: University of Illinois
2008: University of Alabama
2009: University of South Florida
2010: University of Georgia

OULenexaman
2/22/2011, 03:20 PM
why is there an * on Penn State?

Jammin'
2/22/2011, 03:21 PM
Surely OSU will make an appearance shortly?

SoCal, can you confirm shorty?

Canyonero
3/12/2011, 12:30 AM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v454/canyonero/fulmercup-57_medium.jpg
New Leader

Mongo
3/12/2011, 12:46 AM
dang

stoopified
3/12/2011, 08:54 AM
We're #6,we're #6....it just don't sound right.

Jacie
3/12/2011, 10:55 AM
C'mon people, the season just barely got started. Won't be till things heat up in the summer that schools will start racking up serious Fulmer points and then the standings will change dramatically.

For instance, Auburn zoomed from unranked to #1 this week.

This just in:

Updated: March 11, 2011, 7:35 PM ET

Pair of Spartans players arrested at bar

ASPEN, Colo. -- Two Michigan State football players have been arrested for fighting in an Aspen bar and then trying to flee from officers, authorities said.

Max Bullough, 19, and Brian Linthicum, 23, were arrested shortly after midnight Thursday at the Regal Watering Hole. Workers there reported that Linthicum was assaulting another patron, Benjamin Nichols of London.

Police said the two players ran away from officers when they arrived. When officers caught up with them, police said they had to use a stun gun to subdue Linthicum, who is 6-foot-5 and weighs 250 lbs.

Bullough was charged with underage possession of alcohol and Linthicum was charged with assault in the third degree. Both were charged with eluding officers and later released.

So there you have it. The phrase "on any given day" is an apt one when it comes to Fulmer points . . .

OUthunder
3/12/2011, 12:58 PM
We'll be out of the top ten before you know it becuz I have faith in the SEC.

SunnySooner
3/13/2011, 07:28 AM
why is there an * on Penn State?

Something about a DUI--it was just one guy, but the sheer amount of alcohol required to get someone that big that drunk earned him an extra point. I'm sure his mama is very proud.

And wow, Auburn. Holy carp, has any reigning National Champ won the Fulmer before?