View Full Version : The Happiest Domestic Abuse Story You'll Read All Day.
Jacoby Laquan Smith says quadruple amputee girlfriend choked him "with her nubs" (http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2010/03/jacoby_laquan_s_1.php)
The Pioneer Press got Jacoby Laquan Smith on the phone after news broke that he was being charged with assault for beating up his quadriplegic girlfriend. The way the criminal complaint read (http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2010/03/jacoby_laquan_s.php), he got mad at her when she blocked his view of the television. But Smith told Richard Chin (http://www.twincities.com/news/ci_14780030) a different story: The woman was cheating on him, they had argued, she clobbered him in the groin and threw a bedpan full of pee at him. That's when he hit her. He said he plans to turn himself in to St. Paul police later this week.
Although Bell had both hands and part of both legs amputated because of a childhood illness, Smith said she can still be violent when she loses her temper. "She'll swing, push me down and choke me with her nubs," Smith said. He said she also hit him with her wheelchair.
She persuaded him to take her in her wheelchair to a nearby convenience store later the day of the fight so she could get ice for her swollen jaw and lips. While there, she got a clerk to call 911. He's been charged with fifth-degree assault and interfering with a 911 call.
Sooner_Bob
1/5/2011, 02:09 PM
Wow
I always wanted to bang a chick with four nubs.
Breadburner
1/5/2011, 02:35 PM
Was this in OKc......
SC Sooner
1/5/2011, 05:02 PM
Sounds like he should be glad she only had nubs.
soonerbrat
1/5/2011, 05:13 PM
this is my favorite account of the story:
Jacoby Laquan Smith says he will turn himself in to St. Paul police this week for what must be the most unmanly crime on record: domestically abusing his armless, legless girlfriend.
Smith allegedly punched Tiesha Bell in the face 10 times during the March 22 incident and faces a misdemeanor fifth degree assault charge and a gross misdemeanor for interfering with a 911 call.
Bell was in no position to defend herself, being that both hands and both legs were amputated due to a childhood illness. But Smith says don't let that fool you--Bell is like a handless, legless Ultimate Fighter.
"She'll swing, push me down and choke me with her nubs," Smith told the Pioneer Press.
Smith said that prior to the domestic dispute, Bell was cheating on him.
That's right, Smith was being cuckolded by a quadruple amputee. That can't be good for the self-esteem.
He turned on the TV and Bell got mad, he says. She punched him in the groin with her deadly nub and then proceeded to dowse him in urine from a bed pan.
Yes, after being cuckolded by the quadruple amputee, she gave him a golden shower.
So you see, your honor, Smith punched the quadruple amputee in self-defense. He rests his case.
(By the way, Bell still plans to marry him. "We both need anger management," she said.)
Jello Biafra
1/5/2011, 05:26 PM
not to change the subject here but there is a link on that page that will take you to brett farves prince albert pics....
i figured THE would be down if not several of ya....
just saying. no wonder jenn wasn't really interested.
My Opinion Matters
1/5/2011, 05:30 PM
When I clicked this thread, I had no doubt in my mind that The and Jello would already be here.
Okla-homey
1/5/2011, 06:41 PM
Comedy gold people. 14K comedy gold.
"She'll swing, push me down and choke me with her nubs," Smith told the Pioneer Press.
A Sooner in Texas
1/5/2011, 07:43 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wo1-sI7MOQ
STUpendOUs
1/5/2011, 07:53 PM
choking, cucks, golden showers, amputee's... sounds like a typical Saturday night at chk's
dwarthog
1/5/2011, 09:29 PM
choking, cucks, golden showers, amputee's... sounds like a typical Saturday night at chk's
Do tell.....
AlbqSooner
1/6/2011, 07:12 AM
Several years ago in Gibsonton, Fl, where the "Sideshow Freaks" spent the winters during the heyday of circuses, Lobster Boy was charged with murder. During the trial, there were numerous witnesses who testified how violent he could be and how effective he was with his misshapen 'arms'.
This story is hardly news.
olevetonahill
1/6/2011, 09:15 AM
When I clicked this thread, I had no doubt in my mind that The and Jello would already be here.
Heres another "No **** Sherlock " Moment. Dude "Ya was 1/2 right no matter what, "The" stated the thread, so of course he was in it.:rolleyes:
Heres another "No **** Sherlock " Moment. Dude "Ya was 1/2 right no matter what, "The" stated the thread, so of course he was in it.:rolleyes:
Dude, I'm mother****ing up in EVERYWHERE.
olevetonahill
1/6/2011, 09:27 AM
Dude, I'm mother****ing up in EVERYWHERE.
I've heard ya get some things wrong . The Gerbil is posed to be up in YOU :eek:
I've heard ya get some things wrong . The Gerbil is posed to be up in YOU :eek:
Gerbils are too small these days. Real Men use porcupines.
My Opinion Matters
1/6/2011, 09:47 AM
Well, he sure told me.
Well, he sure told me.
Told you wut?
My Opinion Matters
1/6/2011, 10:04 AM
Told you wut?
Heres another "No **** Sherlock " Moment. Dude "Ya was 1/2 right no matter what, "The" stated the thread, so of course he was in it.:rolleyes:
I'm still trying to figure that out that. But he definitely told me something.
I'm still trying to figure that out that. But he definitely told me something.
Let's figure it out!
My Opinion Matters
1/6/2011, 10:10 AM
Let's figure it out!
Ok!
http://i53.tinypic.com/2u572f7.jpg
I've got a RAGING clue right now.
Boomer.....
1/6/2011, 10:18 AM
But Smith says don't let that fool you--Bell is like a handless, legless Ultimate Fighter.
She punched him in the groin with her deadly nub and then proceeded to dowse him in urine from a bed pan.
Allsome!
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