Home Alone: Kevin dies at the end

[Thaumaturge]

Since we're all sophisticated adults, we know not to take all the events of the timelessly classic Christmas movie "Home Alone" at face value.

The obvious, well-established interpretation of the movie's plot involves the simple, almost cliched twist at the end where Kevin is murdered by the Wet Bandits right after emerging from the flooded basement of the neighbors' house. In an elegant nod to "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge," instead of witnessing his gruesome demise, we instead see the desperate fantasy of his dying brain's final moments, where he imagines himself saved by the unlikely hero, Old Man Marley. We, being the sophisticated adults that we are, know this to be imaginary because the following events would make no sense if taken literally. (Also note that he must be dead since he witnesses Old Man Marley's family outside the window at the end. They had already been established as long since dead and mummified. Thus, it is clear that he has joined them in the hereafter.)

This is all very well and good, but the new school of thought among the "Home Alone"-philosophizers is that the whole movie is better understood as allegory. Yes, in the literal story, Kevin dies at the end, but in the allegory, he dies first at the beginning when he is left alone in his own Hell of the empty house. His literal death at the end is actually his figurative resurrection wherein he is redeemed and ascends to a Heaven of permanent family Christmas, well-stocked with da milk, eggs, and fabric softener.

On the other hand, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is just a stupid movie where we are supposed to be satisfied that a kindly old homeless pigeon-woman is rewarded with a useless piece-of-crap dove ornament for saving an obnoxious little rich kid's life while his spoiled, self-centered family laughs it up in the warmth of the most expensive hotel suite with piles of gifts and trays of freshly prepared food. I hate Home Alone 2.

[SCOUT]

ummmmm. ok

[Ardmore_Sooner]

Thread of the year

[C O R N * D O G]

Not widely known or talked about, but John Hughes originally scripted Kevin's demise to be caused by 20 lbs of impacted fecal matter. Implausible? Yes. Nevertheless, true.

[Ardmore_Sooner]

I like turtles

[SCOUT]

Since we're all sophisticated adults, we know not to take all the events of the timelessly classic Christmas movie "Home Alone" at face value.

The obvious, well-established interpretation of the movie's plot involves the simple, almost cliched twist at the end where Kevin is murdered by the Wet Bandits right after emerging from the flooded basement of the neighbors' house. In an elegant nod to "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge," instead of witnessing his gruesome demise, we instead see the desperate fantasy of his dying brain's final moments, where he imagines himself saved by the unlikely hero, Old Man Marley. We, being the sophisticated adults that we are, know this to be imaginary because the following events would make no sense if taken literally. (Also note that he must be dead since he witnesses Old Man Marley's family outside the window at the end. They had already been established as long since dead and mummified. Thus, it is clear that he has joined them in the hereafter.)

This is all very well and good, but the new school of thought among the "Home Alone"-philosophizers is that the whole movie is better understood as allegory. Yes, in the literal story, Kevin dies at the end, but in the allegory, he dies first at the beginning when he is left alone in his own Hell of the empty house. His literal death at the end is actually his figurative resurrection wherein he is redeemed and ascends to a Heaven of permanent family Christmas, well-stocked with da milk, eggs, and fabric softener.

On the other hand, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is just a stupid movie where we are supposed to be satisfied that a kindly old homeless pigeon-woman is rewarded with a useless piece-of-crap dove ornament for saving an obnoxious little rich kid's life while his spoiled, self-centered family laughs it up in the warmth of the most expensive hotel suite with piles of gifts and trays of freshly prepared food. I hate Home Alone 2.

Sorry, meant to quote that.

I stand by my


Ummmmmmmm, ok.

[silverwheels]

Awesome.

[sooner59]

wow....

[SanJoaquinSooner]

Thaum, did you save those short stories you published over at O'Connells?

[soonerinkaty]

Drugs are bad mkayy.

[yankee]

http://i45.tinypic.com/x6evc6.jpg

[MR2-Sooner86]

http://futonreport.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/87665dude-wtf-posters1z.jpg

[swardboy]

I see stupid people....

[Boomer_Sooner_sax]

Crack is a helluva drug!

[Boomer.....]

http://images1.fanpop.com/images/photos/1600000/Slater-dazed-and-confused-1626436-200-200.jpg

Okaaaaay!?!

[The]

But how does it relate to the events that are the Dream Sequences in The Shining?
I Have always thought THAT was the key to the deeper riddles.

[Jammin']

But how does it relate to the events that are the Dream Sequences in The Shining?
I Have always thought THAT was the key to the deeper riddles.

There were no dream sequences in the Shining, only varying degrees of reality.

[The]

There were no dream sequences in the Shining, only varying degrees of reality.

http://static02.mediaite.com/geekosystem/uploads/2010/07/heard-you-like-dreams-e1280242797220.png

[Mississippi Sooner]

David the Gnome is real.

[NormanPride]

Ahem.


Beer Home Alone Rules

1. All contestants must drink for the duration of any indiscernible yell.
2. Whenever the statue is knocked over, all contestants must take a drink.
3. When Buzz’s spider, Axl, is shown, all contestants must yell, “It’s a
spider!” and take a drink.
4. When Peter & Kate exclaim, “We slept in!” all contestants must finish their
beer.
5. All contestants must take 5 (five) drinks at any airport scene.
6. When Kevin yells, “Mom!” all contestants must finish their beer.
7. When Kate yells, “Kevin!” all contestants must stand up and spin around
and take 3 (three) drinks.
8. All contestants must sing along with Boris Karloff on “The Grinch” song.
Those who sing the wrong words must finish their beer.
9. All contestants must drink from the time the donut sticks to the phone until
the time it falls.
10. The first time Kevin applies aftershave, all contestants must finish their
beer.
11. When Marv says, “Wet Bandits” all contestants must “Bring it Around
Town” and take a drink.
12. When Michael Jordan’s cardboard cutout is shown, all contestants must
take 6 (six) drinks for each one of Michael Jordan’s six NBA titles.
13. When Buzz counts “A, 2, and D” all contestants must take 3 (three) drinks.
14. When “The Tonight Show” is on TV, all contestants must take a drink for
Johnny Carson and yell, “Hi-oooooo!”
15. When Kevin is talking to the cashier at the Supermarket, all contestants
must take 10 (ten) drinks.
16. When Kevin’s shopping bags break, all contestants drinking beer from a
can must crush a beer can on their head.
17. When Harry says, “I don’t know no Snakes” all contestants must say, “I
don’t know no Snakes” and finish their beer.
18. In loving memory of John Candy, all contestants must stand up and
say, “Sorry folks, park’s closed. Moose out front should’ve told ya” and
take a drink whenever he speaks to Kate.
19. All contestants must exclaim, “There is no rule 19!” and take a drink. Then
shout, “Rule 20!”
20. When Kevin says, “this is my house, I have to defend it!” All contestants
must do a Waterfall staring on the far left.
21. When Peter says, “What a funny guy,” all contestants must say in their best
Chinaman voice, “You funny guy” and take a drink.
22. When Buzz yells, “Kevin, what did you do to my room?!” all contestants
must finish their beer, because the movie is over.

[TUSooner]

I give the OP credit just for mentioning "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge."

[Mississippi Sooner]

I give the OP credit just for mentioning "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge."

I'm a livin' man.

[The]

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lc8sdo7K9I1qas2h4o1_500.gif

[saucysoonergal]

Peyton Farquhar is a hero of SicEm's.

[Boomer_Sooner_sax]

Bump