40% of Americans say Marriage is Obsolete

[MR2-Sooner86]

http://d.yimg.com/a/p/ap/20101118/capt.04906076d25c437a921dce005a34dad9-04906076d25c437a921dce005a34dad9-0.jpg

4 in 10 say marriage is becoming obsolete (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101118/ap_on_go_ot/us_declining_marriage)


WASHINGTON – Is marriage becoming obsolete?

As families gather for Thanksgiving this year, nearly one in three American children is living with a parent who is divorced, separated or never-married. More people are accepting the view that wedding bells aren't needed to have a family.

A study by the Pew Research Center highlights rapidly changing notions of the American family. And the Census Bureau, too, is planning to incorporate broader definitions of family when measuring poverty, a shift caused partly by recent jumps in unmarried couples living together.

About 29 percent of children under 18 now live with a parent or parents who are unwed or no longer married, a fivefold increase from 1960, according to the Pew report being released Thursday. Broken down further, about 15 percent have parents who are divorced or separated and 14 percent who were never married. Within those two groups, a sizable chunk — 6 percent — have parents who are live-in couples who opted to raise kids together without getting married.

Indeed, about 39 percent of Americans said marriage was becoming obsolete. And that sentiment follows U.S. census data released in September that showed marriages hit an all-time low of 52 percent for adults 18 and over.

In 1978, just 28 percent believed marriage was becoming obsolete.

When asked what constitutes a family, the vast majority of Americans agree that a married couple, with or without children, fits that description. But four of five surveyed pointed also to an unmarried, opposite-sex couple with children or a single parent. Three of 5 people said a same-sex couple with children was a family.

"Marriage is still very important in this country, but it doesn't dominate family life like it used to," said Andrew Cherlin, a professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University. "Now there are several ways to have a successful family life, and more people accept them."

The broadening views of family are expected to have an impact at Thanksgiving. About nine in 10 Americans say they will share a Thanksgiving meal next week with family, sitting at a table with 12 people on average. About one-fourth of respondents said there will be 20 or more family members.

"More Americans are living in these new families, so it seems safe to assume that there will be more of them around the Thanksgiving dinner table," said Paul Taylor, executive vice president of the Pew Research Center.

The changing views of family are being driven largely by young adults 18-29, who are more likely than older generations to have an unmarried or divorced parent or have friends who do. Young adults also tend to have more liberal attitudes when it comes to spousal roles and living together before marriage, the survey found.

But economic factors, too, are playing a role. The Census Bureau recently reported that opposite-sex unmarried couples living together jumped 13 percent this year to 7.5 million. It was a sharp one-year increase that analysts largely attributed to people unwilling to make long-term marriage commitments in the face of persistent unemployment.

Beginning next year, the Census Bureau will publish new, supplemental poverty figures that move away from the traditional concept of family as a husband and wife with two children. It will broaden the definition to include unmarried couples, such as same-sex partners, as well as foster children who are not related by blood or adoption.

Officials say such a move will reduce the number of families and children who are considered poor based on the new supplemental measure, which will be used as a guide for federal and state agencies to set anti-poverty policies. That's because two unmarried partners who live together with children and work are currently not counted by census as a single "family" with higher pooled incomes, but are officially defined as two separate units — one being a single parent and child, the other a single person — who aren't sharing household resources.

"People are rethinking what family means," Cherlin said. "Given the growth, I think we need to accept cohabitation relationships as a basis for some of the fringe benefits offered to families, such as health insurance."

Still, the study indicates that marriage isn't going to disappear anytime soon. Despite a growing view that marriage may not be necessary, 67 percent of Americans were upbeat about the future of marriage and family. That's higher than their optimism for the nation's educational system (50 percent), economy (46 percent) or its morals and ethics (41 percent).

And about half of all currently unmarried adults, 46 percent, say they want to get married. Among those unmarried who are living with a partner, the share rises to 64 percent.

Other findings:

_About 34 percent of Americans called the growing variety of family living arrangements good for society, while 32 percent said it didn't make a difference and 29 percent said it was troubling.

_About 44 percent of people say they have lived with a partner without being married; for 30-to-49-year-olds, that share rose to 57 percent. In most cases, those couples said they considered cohabitation as a step toward marriage.

_About 62 percent say that the best marriage is one where the husband and wife both work and both take care of the household and children. That's up from 48 percent who held that view in 1977.

The Pew study was based on interviews with 2,691 adults by cell phone or landline from Oct. 1-21. The survey has a total margin of error of plus or minus 2.6 percentage points, larger for subgroups. Pew also analyzed 2008 census data, and used surveys conducted by Time magazine to identify trends from earlier decades.

[GKeeper316]

the only people that get married are the ones with the sick compulsion to give away half their stuff...

[Leroy Lizard]

Sad news.

[Leroy Lizard]

the only people that get married are the ones with the sick compulsion to give away half their stuff...

:confused:

[olevetonahill]

3 strikes. Im out .

[ouwasp]

sad report...

[reflector]

I can honestly say that I am not married.

[caseysooner]

Too many girls think they're Paris Hilton and want to party like rock-stars

[flyou11]

This really is sad.

[yermom]

:confused:

if you aren't religious, all marriage does is create fantasy and paydays for chicks

[Leroy Lizard]

I can honestly say that I am not married.

Yeah, we wouldn't want you lying about that. :rolleyes:

[Eielson]

if you aren't religious, all marriage does is create fantasy and paydays for chicks

What about the kids?

[yermom]

more paydays for chicks :D

how many kids do you know that grew up without their parents getting divorced, or didn't have half/step siblings?

[brian]

how does nearly 1 in 4 equal 39% as shown in the graphic

[Leroy Lizard]

if you aren't religious, all marriage does is create fantasy and paydays for chicks

Wow. That's beyond cynical.

[Leroy Lizard]

What about the kids?

Kids just get in the way of having fun, I guess.

[soonerchk]

the only people that get married are the ones with the sick compulsion to give away half their stuff...

No doubt!

[Scott D]

Truthfully, I think government has taken a lot of the enjoyment out of the idea of being married.

[usaosooner]

marriage evolved as a property sharing system, we aren't a agricultural based society know therefore marriage is obsolete

[Leroy Lizard]

marriage evolved as a property sharing system, we aren't a agricultural based society know therefore marriage is obsolete

Marriage evolved as a cultural tradition to distinguish us from animals, which is why marriage celebrations are often so elaborate. If it was merely a property sharing system, there would be no need for the bridal veils, the tuxes, the limousines, or the rings. It would just be a formal contract signed by the two parties, finished off by a handshake.

There is a large segment of our society that simply doesn't understand the importance of culture or tradition. To them, shame is just a concept that gets in the way of having fun.

[yermom]

distinguish us from animals?

please.

[Leroy Lizard]

distinguish us from animals?

Yes. One of the reasons why civilized societies have such elaborate customs centered around eating. We invented table manners largely because animals don't have them. Animals just wolf it down.

Almost the whole basis of acting civilized is to avoid acting like an animal. Think about it.

[olevetonahill]

Yes. One of the reasons why civilized societies have such elaborate customs centered around eating. We invented table manners largely because animals don't have them. Animals just wolf it down.

Almost the whole basis of acting civilized is to avoid acting like an animal. Think about it.

Leroid you aint got a clue.
Marrage , and table manners came about cause man quit smackin the wimmens up side the head and draggin em in his cave, Then he let em Learn about the PoP. Shats been all down hill fer Men ever since :mad:

[Leroy Lizard]

Leroid you aint got a clue.
Marrage , and table manners came about cause man quit smackin the wimmens up side the head and draggin em in his cave, Then he let em Learn about the PoP. Shats been all down hill fer Men ever since :mad:

Look, I'm trying to convey the image that man is not an animal... and here you come along. :mad:

[olevetonahill]

Look, I'm trying to convey the image that man is not an animal... and here you come along. :mad:

Why i said you aint got a ****ing clue :rolleyes:

[Soonerus]

Dumbest thread evar...

[Leroy Lizard]

Dumbest thread evar...

Yeah, I'm kind of tired of arguing about marriage. Let's talk about the Oklahoma gubernatorial race instead.

[picasso]

more paydays for chicks :D

how many kids do you know that grew up without their parents getting divorced, or didn't have half/step siblings?

I know more who had parents who didn't get divorced.

Marriage is hard work. Sack up and be a man.

[yermom]

what does being a man have to do with it?

marriage is a joke. they may say "til death do us part" they really mean "or, as long as i feel like it"

[Leroy Lizard]

what does being a man have to do with it?

marriage is a joke. they may say "til death do us part" they really mean "or, as long as i feel like it"

That isn't the problem with marriage; that's the problem with the people being married.

[yermom]

well, when the laws shaft the people with Y chromosomes, i think i might be time to look at it and the reasoning behind it

women have jobs today, they don't need half my money. they should be happy with the free room and board they got while we were married

[Leroy Lizard]

well, when the laws shaft the people with Y chromosomes, i think i might be time to look at it and the reasoning behind it

Exactly how does the law shaft those with the Y chromosomes?

It seems your real issue is with divorce, not marriage. Don't get divorced and you foil the government's evil plot.

[yermom]

and weddings. i really hate weddings.

[Leroy Lizard]

and weddings. i really hate weddings.

Yeah, I'm sure they love having you around at the weddings too. I can see the conversation now:

Guest: "Isn't the bride just beautiful?"

Yermom: "Sure, and stupid. Why does she wants to just give half her stuff away when they divorce?!?!"

[Scott D]

Exactly how does the law shaft those with the Y chromosomes?

It seems your real issue is with divorce, not marriage. Don't get divorced and you foil the government's evil plot.

meh, as I said elsewhere. Marriage began to lose it's true definition the day that Government realized that it was a prime cash cow for them..be it marriage or divorce, the whole shebang is primo money for them.

[Eielson]

more paydays for chicks :D

how many kids do you know that grew up without their parents getting divorced, or didn't have half/step siblings?

I've seen quite a few of both, and it's been my personal observation that two parents are significantly better at raising their children than one. I'm willing to bet there are some pretty strong statistics backing up what I'm saying, but I'm not going to look them up at the moment.

[soonerchk]

Marriage evolved as a cultural tradition to distinguish us from animals, which is why marriage celebrations are often so elaborate. If it was merely a property sharing system, there would be no need for the bridal veils, the tuxes, the limousines, or the rings. It would just be a formal contract signed by the two parties, finished off by a handshake.

There is a large segment of our society that simply doesn't understand the importance of culture or tradition. To them, shame is just a concept that gets in the way of having fun.

Marriage evolved as a way to pass on property for those without sons and to ensure that the poor helpless womenfolks were cared for. Love didn't even start to really become a factor until women had enough power to say no.

[yermom]

Yeah, I'm sure they love having you around at the weddings too. I can see the conversation now:

Guest: "Isn't the bride just beautiful?"

Yermom: "Sure, and stupid. Why does she wants to just give half her stuff away when they divorce?!?!"

yeah, her stuff

[yermom]

I've seen quite a few of both, and it's been my personal observation that two parents are significantly better at raising their children than one. I'm willing to bet there are some pretty strong statistics backing up what I'm saying, but I'm not going to look them up at the moment.

and what difference does it make if some government or religious entity has blessed those two parents as being "married"?

[picasso]

what does being a man have to do with it?

marriage is a joke. they may say "til death do us part" they really mean "or, as long as i feel like it"

Seriously? It means you're committed. It means you'll work hard, change some things in your life and pick your battles with your significant other.

I married late and have been way too independent for a long time.

Being a man means stepping up and working on your marriage when the easy thing to do is just quit and get a divorce.

My marriage isn't a joke. Thanks though.

[yermom]

you can be a "man" and commit all you want. that doesn't mean she deserves half your **** if/when she decides she's done

[Eielson]

and what difference does it make if some government or religious entity has blessed those two parents as being "married"?

I guess if the two unmarried parents go along living their lives as if they were married then it wouldn't make much of a difference. I don't see the point, though.

[picasso]

you can be a "man" and commit all you want. that doesn't mean she deserves half your **** if/when she decides she's done

The hell does that have to do with the argument of marriage being a joke? There are ways to avoid that if that's the main thing that scares you about marriage.
Sorry man, but when you say marriage is a joke that just might be offensive to folks on here who are actually married.
And being a man most certainly means you do the little things to try and work it out. That could certainly apply to any type of relationship, if it's worth keeping.

[yermom]

so you just weren't man enough if your marriage doesn't work?

[Leroy Lizard]

you can be a "man" and commit all you want. that doesn't mean she deserves half your **** if/when she decides she's done

Again, that's not marriage; that's divorce.

[Leroy Lizard]

The hell does that have to do with the argument of marriage being a joke? There are ways to avoid that if that's the main thing that scares you about marriage.
Sorry man, but when you say marriage is a joke that just might be offensive to folks on here who are actually married.
And being a man most certainly means you do the little things to try and work it out. That could certainly apply to any type of relationship, if it's worth keeping.

And if it isn't worth keeping, then they shouldn't have entered into the marriage in the first place.

[olevetonahill]

And if it isn't worth keeping, then they shouldn't have entered into the marriage in the first place.

Tell that to the Bitches that took 1/2 my **** 3 times :rolleyes:

[Leroy Lizard]

so you just weren't man enough if your marriage doesn't work?

Doesn't work? Marriage isn't a car. The whole "didn't work out" is nothing more than an excuse for those that simply chose the wrong partner and/or didn't have the commitment and maturity to see the marriage through difficult times.

[DIB]

Doesn't work? Marriage isn't a car. The whole "didn't work out" is nothing more than an excuse for those that simply chose the wrong partner and/or didn't have the commitment and maturity to see the marriage through difficult times.

So, if you marry a woman and she cheats on you, is it your fault for choosing the wrong partner or for not having the commitment and maturity to see the marriage through difficult times?

What if a woman marries a man and he becomes a drug addict that is a danger to her and her children? Should she have foreseen this potential eventuality and not married him? Should she stay through these difficult times, despite the danger to herself and her kids?

What if a partner hides their true self prior to marriage? Is the betrayed partnered less of a person for not penetrating the ruse and avoiding the marriage? Are they less of a person if they end this marriage predicated on a lie?

[yermom]

And if it isn't worth keeping, then they shouldn't have entered into the marriage in the first place.

why even make that gamble then?


Doesn't work? Marriage isn't a car. The whole "didn't work out" is nothing more than an excuse for those that simply chose the wrong partner and/or didn't have the commitment and maturity to see the marriage through difficult times.

so what is your solution for choosing the wrong partner?

give her half your stuff and start over?

[StoopTroup]

If marriage ain't your thing...dont do it.

[soonervegas]

The problem with modern marriage is one of simple numbers:

We live in an increasingly individualistic society (me centered)

We have access to almost aything we want at any given time. (Money, Entertainment, Opposite Sex Options)

You need two people committed to putting the needs of the two ahead of the needs of the one

Chances of finding two willing to do that (long term) aren't as great as they were 40-50 years ago

It's societal evolution. Marriage will be a ancient custom 200 years from now.

[Leroy Lizard]

So, if you marry a woman and she cheats on you, is it your fault for choosing the wrong partner

Yep.

Next question.


What if a woman marries a man and he becomes a drug addict that is a danger to her and her children? Should she have foreseen this potential eventuality and not married him?

Yep.

Next question.


What if a partner hides their true self prior to marriage? Is the betrayed partnered less of a person for not penetrating the ruse and avoiding the marriage?

Get to know the person very well before marrying.

You are trying to make it sound as if these problems are unavoidable. They are very avoidable.

[Leroy Lizard]

why even make that gamble then?

If you're not sure you have the maturity and commitment to make a marriage work, don't.

But then again, one wonders if you have the maturity and commitment to raise children, which are even more demanding and require even more patience.


so what is your solution for choosing the wrong partner?

Don't.

What is the solution to being arrested for murder? Don't kill.

What is the solution to drug abuse? Don't do drugs.

In other words, take control over your own responsibilities and quit pretending that you were dealt a bad hand. You chose the cards.


The problem with modern marriage is one of simple numbers:

We live in an increasingly individualistic society (me centered)

We have access to almost aything we want at any given time. (Money, Entertainment, Opposite Sex Options)

You need two people committed to putting the needs of the two ahead of the needs of the one

Chances of finding two willing to do that (long term) aren't as great as they were 40-50 years ago

It's societal evolution. Marriage will be a ancient custom 200 years from now.

You may be right. And it will be a sad day if that comes to pass.

[Okla-homey]

Historically, just historically mind you, when a culture's illegitimate birth rate exceeds 40%, that culture is pretty much doomed*.

Now that said, if it were possible for a culture to develop a norm of committed, joint child rearing, without marriage, perhaps the above could be disproven.

*As it now stands, the single most reliable predictor of a child's failure in school, is poverty combined with single-parenthood on the part of his or her mother. And unfortunately, single-parenthood, especially by teen moms, is most often a recipe for poverty.

Is marriage still relevant? Absolutely. Our civilization is predicated on it.

[Fraggle145]

Leroy... you could **** up a wet dream. Seriously you have to chime in on every damn thread just to be captain contrarian.

The thing I find interesting about the article was that the majority of the people polled, were not educated, made **** money, but yet they were "conservative."

[Leroy Lizard]

Leroy... you could **** up a wet dream.

You have wet dreams about divorce?

Wow.

[Leroy Lizard]

But it hasn't happened yet. As it now stands, the single most reliable predictor of a child's failure in school, is poverty combined with single-parenthood on the part of his or her mother.

They'll never understand that. To many in here, marriage is one of those things that requires personal responsibility, sacrifice, and commitment... therefore there must be some way around it.

And I'm not exaggerating when I say that.

[Fraggle145]

You have wet dreams about divorce?

Wow.

:hot:

[Okla-homey]

well, when the laws shaft the people with Y chromosomes, i think i might be time to look at it and the reasoning behind it

women have jobs today, they don't need half my money. they should be happy with the free room and board they got while we were married

I'm not convinced the law shafts people with "y" chromosomes. Under Oklahoma law, and that of every other juirsdiction with which I'm familiar, marriage is viewed as a contract. When one of the contracting parties wants out, they get half of all the stuff the parties acquired while the marriage lasted, including the joint debt, and go their separate ways.

As to child custody/support, sure, mom usually gets physical custody of the little kids, but unless dad is horrible, he gets regaular visitation, and also has joint legal custody (has a vote on all the decisions). The monthly child support is calculated by a state schedule, based on the incomes of both parents.

Even so, as it stands, far too many guys who blow off their child support obligation and never pay a nickel, and generally get away with it.

[Leroy Lizard]

I'm not convinced the law shafts people with "y" chromosomes. Under Oklahoma law, and that of every other juirsdiction with which I'm familiar, marriage is viewed as a contract. When one of the contracting parties wants out, they get half of all the stuff the parties acquired while the marriage lasted, including the joint debt, and go their separate ways.

As to child custody/support, sure, mom usually gets physical cusody of the little kids, but unless dad is horrible, he gets regaular visitation, and also has joint legal custody (has a vote on all the decisions). The monthly child support is calculated by a state schedule, based on the incomes of both parents.

My understanding is that men are quite successful in obtaining custody once they decide to pursue it. Is that your experience?

[Okla-homey]

They'll never understand that. To many in here, marriage is one of those things that requires personal responsibility, sacrifice, and commitment... therefore there must be some way around it.

And I'm not exaggerating when I say that.

Speaking as a guy who has been at it for 30 years in 2012, marriage requires work, and a willingness to compromise when necessary. If people aren't willing to compromise for the greater good of staying together, they should not get married. It's almost just that simple.

[Okla-homey]

My understanding is that men are quite successful in obtaining custody once they decide to pursue it. Is that your experience?

I've observed, that if the kids are under 12, and mom is NOT a drug-addled loser, she'll get physical custody. The standard is "best interest of the child." Thus, you have to prove to the court it's better for the child to live with dad, than mom. When wer're talking kids <12, it has to be scary bad to stay at mom's house to get them taken out and given to dad.

Dads seeking custody of little kids, better have their ducks in a row. That's to say, witnesses who will testify in open court they personally observed a great deal of shady crap. Not just hearsay stuff like "I heard that she....", but, "I saw her making meth on the kitchen stove and blowing her druggie buddies while the kids looked on." That last part is an exaggeration to make the point. But we're talking proven "open and shut" better at a dad's place.

Now, all that said, if mom agrees the kids should live at dad's, that should not be a problem.

[Leroy Lizard]

Speaking as a guy who has been at it for 30 years in 2012, marriage requires work, and a willingness to compromise when necessary. If people aren't willing to compromise for the greater good of staying together, they should not get married. It's almost just that simple.

I've been at it for the same duration and I would do it all over again. Those who never marry simply don't understand.

[DIB]

Yep.

Next question.



Yep.

Next question.



Get to know the person very well before marrying.

You are trying to make it sound as if these problems are unavoidable. They are very avoidable.

Not all problems are avoidable. People change. People lie and cheat. To think otherwise is naive. There are some things that cannot be predicted and cannot be forgiven. Divorce is overused in this country, but it is necessary in some extreme cases.

Marriage takes two people. You can only control yourself that is personal responsibility.

[Leroy Lizard]

Not all problems are avoidable. People change. People lie and cheat. To think otherwise is naive. There are some things that cannot be predicted and cannot be forgiven. Divorce is overused in this country, but it is necessary in some extreme cases.

Marriage takes two people. You can only control yourself that is personal responsibility.

Somehow you have come to the conclusion that I think divorce should be banned. No, I am saying that the problems that occur during divorce shouldn't be used to judge the worth of marriage. Marriage is a great thing. Divorce isn't. But just because two people can't get along is no reason to tear down the entire institution. That is their failure, not marriage's.

[DIB]

Somehow you have come to the conclusion that I think divorce should be banned. No, I am saying that the problems that occur during divorce shouldn't be used to judge the worth of marriage. Marriage is a great thing. Divorce isn't. But just because two people can't get along is no reason to tear down the entire institution. That is their failure, not marriage's.

That is a fair point, but you did say that a marriage only ends because someone
"chose the wrong partner and/or didn't have the commitment and maturity to see the marriage through difficult times." I don't think marriage is a joke; I think that statement was.

[Leroy Lizard]

That is a fair point, but you did say that a marriage only ends because someone
"chose the wrong partner and/or didn't have the commitment and maturity to see the marriage through difficult times." I don't think marriage is a joke; I think that statement was.


But they DID choose the wrong partner. How much culpability they have in the decision is another matter. But if you choose the right partner and you have the commitment to see it through, then there is little need for divorce.

[usaosooner]

choosing a partner = gamble... True love doesn't exist

[Leroy Lizard]

choosing a partner = gamble... True love doesn't exist

Maybe for you.

[proud gonzo]

good lord, I've never heard so many cynical people in my life.

[Eielson]

so what is your solution for choosing the wrong partner?

give her half your stuff and start over?

Stop marrying jobless women?

[My Opinion Matters]

If you prefer to go through life alone, filling your home with material possessions instead of a family, by all means avoid getting married.

I'll take my chances with my wife and children.

[soonerchk]

They'll never understand that. To many in here, marriage is one of those things that requires personal responsibility, sacrifice, and commitment... therefore there must be some way around it.

And I'm not exaggerating when I say that.

Or people have too much respect for it to just go jumping in without a whole lot of thought and consideration.

[Leroy Lizard]

Or people have too much respect for it to just go jumping in without a whole lot of thought and consideration.

That would definitely help.

[yermom]

If you prefer to go through life alone, filling your home with material possessions instead of a family, by all means avoid getting married.

I'll take my chances with my wife and children.

i never said no one should settle down and have a family.

signing a contract that gives your significant other way too much claim to your stuff if they decide to bail doesn't seem to logically be a prerequisite

[Scott D]

anyone else here notice that yermom seems too fixated on losing his stuff. I say Leroy should go rob him.

[yermom]

i don't really even have any stuff :D

but what happens when i write the next Star Wars? why should the person sponging off me during that process be entitled to any of that money?

i don't understand why anyone should be set for life because of who they married or were impregnated by...

[proud gonzo]

yeah, but if you're okay with settling down and having a family, seems to me you shouldn't worry about them "getting your stuff" or "bailing." If you're worried about those things, you definitely SHOULDN'T get married. You can't blame those problems on the marriage certificate.

I, for one, am HAPPY that should I happen to write the next Harry Potter someday, my success will also mean my husband's success. Why shouldn't he benefit from my gains and vice versa?

[yermom]

i have no problem with that while he's still your husband...

but why should he be entitled to it if you got divorced?

lots of people settle down and lots of people bail on those people. i just don't see why the one with less worth has the legal right to destroy them in the process

[MR2-Sooner86]

Marriage is really a good idea when you think about it. You find somebody you really like, you'll spend some time together, then you tell them, "You know, you're fun! I like you! You're fun! We have fun together! Let's get married!"

So you get married, then after a little while fun starts packing it's ****.

"Where ya' going Fun?"
"Oh, nowhere, just getting some stuff together."

Then one day Fun says "**** it" and takes off.

"Come back Fun!"
"**** you married guy!"

[Okla-homey]

yeah, but if you're okay with settling down and having a family, seems to me you shouldn't worry about them "getting your stuff" or "bailing." If you're worried about those things, you definitely SHOULDN'T get married. You can't blame those problems on the marriage certificate.

I, for one, am HAPPY that should I happen to write the next Harry Potter someday, my success will also mean my husband's success. Why shouldn't he benefit from my gains and vice versa?

That's right PG.

Not to de-romance it or anything, but you can think of marriage like the business entity called a "partnership." If two people go into business togther to make a profit, if they don't register as one of the myriad commercial entitities (e.g., LLC, S-Corp, C-Corp, LLP, PC, PLLP, etc.) everything either of them earns, and every debt either of them incur, belongs to both of them 50-50. Makes no difference if one partner does all the heavy lifting and/or has all the bright ideas. Marriage works the same way.

One more point, IMHO, marriages go south, perhaps most often, because people think that when that "butterflies in the stomach at the sight of him/her", "red-hot" stage ends, they're "falling out of love." That's not what's happening. What's happening is the normal human response to increased familiarity.

Now, barring substance abuse in one or both spouses, if couples will just give the relationship time, and keep working at it, that fleeting "butterfly" stage will be replaced by something much deeper and richer.

[My Opinion Matters]

Oh hell, nm.

[Soonerson1975]

The reason marriages fail is that the woman has forgotten that her place is in the kitchen and in the bedroom.

[Penguin]

Here's one thing that people don't want to talk about. A lot of serious psychological problems do not even begin to show up until a person hits their mid-20's. Everything seems fine and dandy in college and the college sweethearts get married by 22. However, by the time they hit 26 or so, one of the spouses may be a profoundly different person than what they were a few years before.


It isn't anybody's fault if it happens. It just happens. You just don't know what you are getting into exactly until you both hit at least 26.

[proud gonzo]

i have no problem with that while he's still your husband...

but why should he be entitled to it if you got divorced?

lots of people settle down and lots of people bail on those people. i just don't see why the one with less worth has the legal right to destroy them in the process
You're assuming that every marriage will eventually end in divorce. Because at some point in the future one of us might do something idiotic and we'll get divorced is a reason never to marry? I don't buy it.


Marriage is really a good idea when you think about it. You find somebody you really like, you'll spend some time together, then you tell them, "You know, you're fun! I like you! You're fun! We have fun together! Let's get married!"

So you get married, then after a little while fun starts packing it's ****.

"Where ya' going Fun?"
"Oh, nowhere, just getting some stuff together."

Then one day Fun says "**** it" and takes off.

"Come back Fun!"
"**** you married guy!"
A lot of people mistakenly think marriage is all about fun. That's part of the real world--everything takes work. Welcome to being an adult.


That's right PG.

Not to de-romance it or anything, but you can think of marriage like the business entity called a "partnership." If two people go into business togther to make a profit, if they don't register as one of the myriad commercial entitities (e.g., LLC, S-Corp, C-Corp, LLP, PC, PLLP, etc.) everything either of them earns, and every debt either of them incur, belongs to both of them 50-50. Makes no difference if one partner does all the heavy lifting and/or has all the bright ideas. Marriage works the same way.

One more point, IMHO, marriages go south, perhaps most often, because people think that when that "butterflies in the stomach at the sight of him/her", "red-hot" stage ends, they're "falling out of love." That's not what's happening. What's happening is the normal human response to increased familiarity.

Now, barring substance abuse in one or both spouses, if couples will just give the relationship time, and keep working at it, that fleeting "butterfly" stage will be replaced by something much deeper and richer.
well put.


Here's one thing that people don't want to talk about. A lot of serious psychological problems do not even begin to show up until a person hits their mid-20's. Everything seems fine and dandy in college and the college sweethearts get married by 22. However, by the time they hit 26 or so, one of the spouses may be a profoundly different person than what they were a few years before.

It isn't anybody's fault if it happens. It just happens. You just don't know what you are getting into exactly until you both hit at least 26.
A lot of people think marriage is just the next step in dating--why not just go ahead and do it? Plus a lot of girls want a wedding but not a marriage. People get married too young or marry the first person they ever date. Forget getting to know your partner before you marry--you have to know yourself first. Sounds cheesy, but it's very true.

The bottom line is that in any failed marriage, you can always point at it and say "well, it's your own stupid fault for getting married." That'll always be the common denominator because you can't have divorce without marriage first. But that's like saying you got fired because you were stupid enough to get a job.

[Leroy Lizard]

i never said no one should settle down and have a family.

signing a contract that gives your significant other way too much claim to your stuff if they decide to bail doesn't seem to logically be a prerequisite

Quit worrying so much about material possessions. And if your bass boat is that important to you, don't get divorced.

[Leroy Lizard]

One more point, IMHO, marriages go south, perhaps most often, because people think that when that "butterflies in the stomach at the sight of him/her", "red-hot" stage ends, they're "falling out of love." That's not what's happening. What's happening is the normal human response to increased familiarity.

The real problem is the inability to understand the difference between love and infatuation.

[Leroy Lizard]

Here's one thing that people don't want to talk about. A lot of serious psychological problems do not even begin to show up until a person hits their mid-20's. Everything seems fine and dandy in college and the college sweethearts get married by 22. However, by the time they hit 26 or so, one of the spouses may be a profoundly different person than what they were a few years before.

Cure: Don't get married too young.

The answers are there; you just have to seek them.

[Collier11]

Diff between Love and Really like, some people dont take the time to figure out which one they are feeling. I will always be overly conservative when it comes to getting married cus I only want to do it once

[btk108]

Diff between Love and Really like, some people dont take the time to figure out which one they are feeling. I will always be overly conservative when it comes to getting married cus I only want to do it once

and that's the way it ought to be.

[btk108]

That's right PG.

Not to de-romance it or anything, but you can think of marriage like the business entity called a "partnership." If two people go into business togther to make a profit, if they don't register as one of the myriad commercial entitities (e.g., LLC, S-Corp, C-Corp, LLP, PC, PLLP, etc.) everything either of them earns, and every debt either of them incur, belongs to both of them 50-50. Makes no difference if one partner does all the heavy lifting and/or has all the bright ideas. Marriage works the same way.

One more point, IMHO, marriages go south, perhaps most often, because people think that when that "butterflies in the stomach at the sight of him/her", "red-hot" stage ends, they're "falling out of love." That's not what's happening. What's happening is the normal human response to increased familiarity.

Now, barring substance abuse in one or both spouses, if couples will just give the relationship time, and keep working at it, that fleeting "butterfly" stage will be replaced by something much deeper and richer.

Nail on the head. And for the record, I think you hit a homerun with your wifey :D

[SCOUT]

I find it interesting that people use a failed marriage as a reason to avoid marriage.

Enter into your marriage with the right intentions (IOW actually listen to the vows - in fact think about them before getting to the alter) and follow through on your promises. If you are debating whether or not marriage is right for you, or if marriage is right at this time, then the answer to both is no.

Marriage can be the best thing to that ever happens to you. It is pretty much demonstrably the best thing for your kids and hey, sometimes it even works out.

[SCOUT]

Nail on the head. And for the record, I think you hit a homerun with your wifey :D

He married above his head. ;)

[Blue]

You're assuming that every marriage will eventually end in divorce. Because at some point in the future one of us might do something idiotic and we'll get divorced is a reason never to marry? I don't buy it.


A lot of people mistakenly think marriage is all about fun. That's part of the real world--everything takes work. Welcome to being an adult.


well put.


A lot of people think marriage is just the next step in dating--why not just go ahead and do it? Plus a lot of girls want a wedding but not a marriage. People get married too young or marry the first person they ever date. Forget getting to know your partner before you marry--you have to know yourself first. Sounds cheesy, but it's very true.

The bottom line is that in any failed marriage, you can always point at it and say "well, it's your own stupid fault for getting married." That'll always be the common denominator because you can't have divorce without marriage first. But that's like saying you got fired because you were stupid enough to get a job.

Everybody listen to the newlywed. she's got it all figured out! :D

Bottom line is alot of women suck. Trick is to find one worth a damn. I'll bet PG is one of the good ones, but time will tell. ;)

[Blue]

Quit worrying so much about material possessions. And if your bass boat is that important to you, don't get divorced.

Its not so much possesions these days as it is making PAYMENTS for the rest of your life.

[Leroy Lizard]

Its not so much possesions these days as it is making PAYMENTS for the rest of your life.

A lot of these people get married again. So it must be worth it.

[3rdgensooner]

Breakups – The Visual Miscellaneum (http://leebyron.com/what/breakups/)(click through to enlarge graphics)

Did you know that the most likely day of the year to be broken up with is the first Monday in December? Perhaps some combination of seasonal affect disorder and a case of the Mondays has warped the idea of you meeting their family over the holidays into something horrid. Consequently, Christmas Day is the least likely day of breakups. If you make it through spring cleaning, watch out for April. April fools, we're breaking up! No, really...

http://leebyron.com/what/breakups/breakup-likelihood-preview.jpg

Series of infographics exploring the sour end of relationships. I flexed a little data junkie muscle to research and produce these graphics while working with David McCandless (http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/www.davidmccandless.com) on The Visual Miscellanem (http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/2009/the-visual-miscellaneum/) (Nov 2009). I hope that by making the big picture of how we breakup more clear, we can take comfort in just how special the relationships that last truly are.

This graph measures the frequency of the words "breakup" or "broken up" out of all Facebook status updates on each day. Since it measures frequency, and not total number, it is not affected by the number of updates per day or the growth of Facebook. This information was obtained by the publicly accessible, now defunct, Facebook Lexicon.

Breakup methods

http://leebyron.com/what/breakups/method-of-breakup-preview.jpg

No surprise here, compared to people born before 1975, people born after 1984 are twice as likely to breakup via the digital world, twice as likely to breakup over the phone and far less likely to decide to talk it out over coffee.

This information was collected using the publicly accessible, now defunct, polling app on Facebook, on which the question was asked to single members: "How did you end your last relationship"

Collected from public tweets on Twitter which contained the phrase "We broke up because," it's clear that the reasons we part are quite varied, ranging from serious to bizarre.

http://leebyron.com/what/breakups/brokeup-because-preview.jpg

All good things must end

Between the Durex global sex survey (http://www.durex.com/en-us/sexualwellbeingsurvey/pages/default.aspx), Facebook polls and recent US Census, we can get a good sense of why it all comes to an end. There are many opportunities for failure with 3 million first dates every day worldwide.

It turns out that sex is pretty important as 56% of adults claim to be unhappy with their sex life and 22% of married people worldwide have had an extramarital affair. Turkey has the highest rate of affairs with 58% of married people, and Israel the lowest with 7%. Cheating is one of the most popular reasons for breaking up with 25% of women and 18% of men reporting it as the reason for their last relationship's end.

Many find success as 2.5 million per year vow "Till death do we part," albeit nearly half will break that vow. 5.4% of adults, for better or worse die having never married.

http://leebyron.com/what/breakups/breakup-sankey-preview.jpg

[Scott D]

I always thought Feb. 14th was the best day for a breakup or divorce ;)

[badger]

Married chick here. Love my husband, love married life, why consider leaving it?

Sure, I'd get half of NP's stuff, but right now, I have ALL of NP's stuff... and NP too :)

[proud gonzo]

Married chick here. Love my husband, love married life, why consider leaving it?

Sure, I'd get half of NP's stuff, but right now, I have ALL of NP's stuff... and NP too :)

heh! spek :D

[Oldnslo]

Pretty much everything Homey and Pic have said in here goes for me, too.

I'll have been married to the Wife Unit for 21 years on April Fool's day. Some days it's wonderful. Some days it's awesome. Some days it sucked donkey balls. And I don't want to think what life would be like without her.

Just thinking about it makes me sad.

FWIW, my folks got divorced when I was 12. I lived with Dad for most of the time, but he never remarried... but that's another story. The long and short of it is that I really didn't have an idea of what I was supposed to do as a husband and, therefore, fell far short of the mark for a fairly long stretch of time. "Selfish" and "*******" might be words associated with my actions and demeanor. On the other hand, sometimes the Wife Unit's actions weren't what one might hope.

In any event, the key is to never give up.

On the other hand, my parents divorce? It was their only remaining option. My bro's divorce? ditto. In my bro's case, he knew beforehand that she was a broken wing. Dude just couldn't help but try to fix her.

[Scott D]

and yermom is just being this cynical because he's heartbroken that doleo found himself a woman.

[olevetonahill]

and yermom is just being this cynical because he's heartbroken that doleo found himself a woman.

And they say People dont change

[Penguin]

I think we should round up the divorced people and stamp FAIL on their foreheads. How dare they not be able to follow the broad-brush marriage tips that cures all problems found in this thread. All marriages are all alike and there are absolutely no reasons to ever get a divorce. And if your marriage fails, then it's all your fault and you must live with that shame of being sub-human for the rest of your life. Personally, I hope all divorced people choke on their failures and die.

[olevetonahill]

Hey Flightless bird. How bout I just Live Happily ever after the devorce ;)

[A Sooner in Texas]

My marriage of just over 20 years pretty much sucked but I stuck it out mainly because I thought it was the right thing to do. And it was, especially with two young boys, but not when the husband's cheating and drinking became so bad he was proud to tell me in great detail of his sexual escapades, and not when he would call me a bad mother in front of my kids. And part of the reason I was a bad mother was because I wouldn't commute 40 miles or more one way for a higher paying job in Houston when both our young sons were in school in Conroe, where we lived...and he was making a very substantial six-figure salary. And I was working 20 hours a week while the boys were in school and I paid for all the groceries and my clothing and essentials and any utility bills he felt like throwing my way.
So I don't feel too bad about the fact that I did get half the savings and half the retirement he'd earned up to that point. It hasn't hurt him economically at all. And I'm my sons' emotional anchor, and they're mine. They're two great young men (one wants to be a cop, the other's majoring in accounting) and I raised them essentially by myself.
That said, I still believe in marriage, and if I get a chance at a true partnership with a man I love as my husband and best friend until the end of our lives, I'd jump at it.

[goingoneight]

Some people jump out of airplanes.

Some people go to church.

Some people go to that college you just can't stand.

Some people choose to PIITB.

Some people buy American.

Some people vote Republican.

Some people get married.

Case in point: let them go about having their little fun doing whatever it is that makes them happy. It's their choice, whether you give two shats or not. Personally, thus far I've avoided marriage like the plague. I've focused on what I feel are the more important things in my life... but why do you give a shat?

[A Sooner in Texas]

Some people jump out of airplanes.

Some people go to church.

Some people go to that college you just can't stand.

Some people choose to PIITB.

Some people buy American.

Some people vote Republican.

Some people get married.

Case in point: let them go about having their little fun doing whatever it is that makes them happy. It's their choice, whether you give two shats or not. Personally, thus far I've avoided marriage like the plague. I've focused on what I feel are the more important things in my life... but why do you give a shat?

Have to at least respect you for not jumping in to something you don't want. The world would probably be a somewhat better place if more people were as honest.

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Some people jump out of airplanes.

Some people go to church.

Some people go to that college you just can't stand.

Some people choose to PIITB.

Some people buy American.

Some people vote Republican.

Some people get married.

Case in point: let them go about having their little fun doing whatever it is that makes them happy. It's their choice, whether you give two shats or not. Personally, thus far I've avoided marriage like the plague. I've focused on what I feel are the more important things in my life... but why do you give a shat?

You should get married. It'd be EXTREME.

Chicken.

[Leroy Lizard]

Pretty much everything Homey and Pic have said in here goes for me, too.

I'll have been married to the Wife Unit for 21 years on April Fool's day.

You got married on April Fool's Day? That must have been interesting.

"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully-wedded wife?"

"I do."

"You're being serious, right?"

"Yes, I am."

"You're not saying that because it's April Fool's Day. You really do mean it, right?"

"Uhhhhh... yeah, sure."

[Leroy Lizard]

My marriage of just over 20 years pretty much sucked but I stuck it out mainly because I thought it was the right thing to do. And it was, especially with two young boys, but not when the husband's cheating and drinking became so bad he was proud to tell me in great detail of his sexual escapades, and not when he would call me a bad mother in front of my kids. And part of the reason I was a bad mother was because I wouldn't commute 40 miles or more one way for a higher paying job in Houston when both our young sons were in school in Conroe, where we lived...and he was making a very substantial six-figure salary. And I was working 20 hours a week while the boys were in school and I paid for all the groceries and my clothing and essentials and any utility bills he felt like throwing my way.
So I don't feel too bad about the fact that I did get half the savings and half the retirement he'd earned up to that point. It hasn't hurt him economically at all. And I'm my sons' emotional anchor, and they're mine. They're two great young men (one wants to be a cop, the other's majoring in accounting) and I raised them essentially by myself.
That said, I still believe in marriage, and if I get a chance at a true partnership with a man I love as my husband and best friend until the end of our lives, I'd jump at it.

Say baby, what say you and me... wait, I'm married!

[A Sooner in Texas]

Say baby, what say you and me... wait, I'm married!

And Leroy, perhaps the one thing I've learned about you that I can truly respect is your long marriage and that you seem to be happy in it.

That said, just how DO you go from red to green to red all in one night???:D

[olevetonahill]

He married above his head. ;)

Yup Him and Dean both out kicked their coverage ;)

[olevetonahill]

My marriage of just over 20 years pretty much sucked but I stuck it out mainly because I thought it was the right thing to do. And it was, especially with two young boys, but not when the husband's cheating and drinking became so bad he was proud to tell me in great detail of his sexual escapades, and not when he would call me a bad mother in front of my kids. And part of the reason I was a bad mother was because I wouldn't commute 40 miles or more one way for a higher paying job in Houston when both our young sons were in school in Conroe, where we lived...and he was making a very substantial six-figure salary. And I was working 20 hours a week while the boys were in school and I paid for all the groceries and my clothing and essentials and any utility bills he felt like throwing my way.
So I don't feel too bad about the fact that I did get half the savings and half the retirement he'd earned up to that point. It hasn't hurt him economically at all. And I'm my sons' emotional anchor, and they're mine. They're two great young men (one wants to be a cop, the other's majoring in accounting) and I raised them essentially by myself.
That said, I still believe in marriage, and if I get a chance at a true partnership with a man I love as my husband and best friend until the end of our lives, I'd jump at it.

THats the Mainest thingy right there :cool:

[olevetonahill]

And Leroy, perhaps the one thing I've learned about you that I can truly respect is your long marriage and that you seem to be happy in it.

That said, just how DO you go from red to green to red all in one night???:D

I see his *** green and I hit the argumentative bastage with this http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/images/ak/AKHAIhammer_hovde.jpg

[proud gonzo]

yeah, green to red only takes one thump.

[olevetonahill]

yeah, green to red only takes one thump.

Yea but when it comes to him i do the Lizy borden thing and give him 40 more ;)

[Leroy Lizard]

Yea but when it comes to him i do the Lizy borden thing and give him 40 more ;)

You will never get it (because you're stupid). Once someone decides to keep me in the red, I begin to wear the red as a badge of honor. I'd red neg myself if I could do it.

Which is why I started in on the Pride of Oklahoma earlier this evening. You think that it was accidental?

The spek button is rigged anyway, so what difference does it make?

[picasso]

I think we should round up the divorced people and stamp FAIL on their foreheads. How dare they not be able to follow the broad-brush marriage tips that cures all problems found in this thread. All marriages are all alike and there are absolutely no reasons to ever get a divorce. And if your marriage fails, then it's all your fault and you must live with that shame of being sub-human for the rest of your life. Personally, I hope all divorced people choke on their failures and die.

Who said that? I didn't. My family is chock full of divorces.

My point is that it's tough. And requires a lot of work from both sides.

So sack up and get serious about it if you're going there.

[1890MilesToNorman]

Nope, ain't a gonna do it! No way no how.

[My Opinion Matters]

100% of Americans opinions of marriage is based on anectdotal evidence.

[1890MilesToNorman]

100% of divorces are caused by marriage.

[My Opinion Matters]

100% of divorces are caused by marriage.

Solution: People should stop getting married.

100% of abortions are caused by sex.

Solution: People should stop having sex. :confused:

[1890MilesToNorman]

I'll buy that.

[MR2-Sooner86]

Solution: People should stop getting married.

100% of abortions are caused by sex.

Solution: People should stop having sex. :confused:

I'd say 99% and the other 1% is banana peels.

[SunnySooner]

Well, I'm a 16 year veteran, who just spent the last 13 months without my hubby, as he went to play in the sand over there. It's given me a new perspective, no doubt. My life is so much better with him in it, and after doing the single parent thing, I'm so relieved to finally have someone to help me. The fact that I'm also still attracted to that man, still crack goofy jokes with him, still want to strangle him with a wire sometimes, just makes it all that more interesting.

Is our marriage perfect? Hell no. As Homey has said though, any relationship goes thru ups and downs. But if you'll stick with it thru the valley of the shadow of death, you'll find a beautiful view from the top of the mountain.

My marriage and my kids are the best things that have ever happened to me, and I hope all of you single peeps find the person who will make you want to take that leap. It's a helluva ride.

[olevetonahill]

Hey Sunny, I just want to RIDE, I dont ever want to own another horse :P

[NormanPride]

I thought the demographics were interesting. Poor, uneducated minorities seem to be the least enthralled with the idea. Not by a wide margin, but the numbers were interesting. I've always heard that minorities were more concerned with family than the majority of white middle America. Perhaps this is changing, or the concept of "family" is different?

[My Opinion Matters]

I thought the demographics were interesting. Poor, uneducated minorities seem to be the least enthralled with the idea. Not by a wide margin, but the numbers were interesting. I've always heard that minorities were more concerned with family than the majority of white middle America. Perhaps this is changing, or the concept of "family" is different?

Haven't you ever watched Different Strokes?

[My Opinion Matters]

Haven't you ever watched Different Strokes?

Excuse me, Diff'rent Strokes.

Exhibit A in the differences between Black and White America.

[proud gonzo]

The spek button is rigged anyway, so what difference does it make?
how do you figure that?

[Midtowner]

My experience here may be somewhat interesting to some folks. I am an attorney who primarily practices in family law. I still think marriage is relevant. It is a very useful institution for protecting joint assets, custody and care of children and a myriad of other legal rights.

I've had occasion to oversee the splitting up of a few estates of gay folks. Much tougher as you essentially have to proceed on a civil dissolution of partnership theory (and those civil court judges love to see these coming, particularly in small courthouses).

In my experience, marriage is the most relevant and helpful when the parties are being divorced. The theory of a joint enterprise for mutual benefit is protected by a specialized set of laws and remedies to ensure an equitable distribution of the estate. It's a good thing.

[AlboSooner]

I don't know what the correlation between 40% of Americans and the worthiness of marriage is. A lot of Americans think the earth is 6,000 years old, Europe is a country, and the US has 51 or 52 States. See where I'm going with this?

Married people are happier and live longer.

[Penguin]

Whatever. I'm done with this thread.

[Blue]

nm

[KC//CRIMSON]

And Leroy, perhaps the one thing I've learned about you that I can truly respect is your long marriage and that you seem to be happy in it.

That said, just how DO you go from red to green to red all in one night???:D

Leroy has the best marriage ever. That's why he's camped out on Soonerfans.com twenty-four/seven, giving all you peasants advice and opinions you couldn't possibly live without.

[Leroy Lizard]

Leroy has the best marriage ever. That's why he's camped out on Soonerfans.com twenty-four/seven, giving all you peasants advice and opinions you couldn't possibly live without.

Well, it beats reading your horse****.

[olevetonahill]

Well, it beats reading your horse****.

you 2 get a room and Mind **** yerselves ,:rolleyes:

[soonerinkaty]

This thread is depressing as all hell.

[olevetonahill]

This thread is depressing as all hell.

Hell Bro to me marriage is kinda like the gheys. I dont care what they do as long as I aint involved .:D

[SCOUT]

I don't really have a dog in this fight but I do love to point out some of the interesting things that come up. For example:

I love it when a person with 13,000 posts tells a person with 11.000 posts that they should get a life other than posting on a message board.
:D

[yermom]

yeah, losers

[SCOUT]

yeah, losers
See :D

[stoops the eternal pimp]

i've been married for 8 years...2 kids....we do "it" a lot....she is a good cook...im the head of the household, but we both make big decisions together...

secret to finding marrying material...poop at their house and they don't ask you to leave or file a restraining order

[MR2-Sooner86]

poop on their house and if they don't ask you to leave or file a restraining order

:eek:

[TUSooner]

Was my wife one of 'em?

[TUSooner]

I don't really have a dog in this fight but I do love to point out some of the interesting things that come up. For example:

I love it when a person with 13,000 posts tells a person with 11.000 posts that they should get a life other than posting on a message board.
:D

It kinda depends on how long it took you to get to 11k or 13k (or 14k :O )

[Leroy Lizard]

I don't really have a dog in this fight but I do love to point out some of the interesting things that come up. For example:

I love it when a person with 13,000 posts tells a person with 11.000 posts that they should get a life other than posting on a message board.
:D

Or the infamous "you argue too much" inserted by a poster who refuses to concede.

[KC//CRIMSON]

I don't really have a dog in this fight but I do love to point out some of the interesting things that come up. For example:

I love it when a person with 13,000 posts tells a person with 11.000 posts that they should get a life other than posting on a message board.
:D

See, Leroy and his wonderful wife lead separate lives, that's why he has almost as many posts as I do. Even though I've been on four years longer than he has and have no ball and chain.

Besides, I don't have the time to camp-out and play some kind of half-*ss fifty-plus year old Dr. Drew, unlike Leroid.

Now STFU, clown pants.

[C&CDean]

I just now decided to open this thread and take a peek. Mistake.

Here's alls I know (not in order even though I'm an orderly kind of guy):

1. Marry somebody who you find attractive. Not who all your buddies/girlfriends find attractive, who you find attractive. This is the key to never needing Viagra/boner medicine. If she/he is hot to you, you can make that little worm dance.

2. Even though you find them attractive, make sure you like being in each other's company. Not just at the dance, but when you're ****tin' yellow liver bile out your ******* and your mouth. And likewise. I don't care if she's Uma Thurman or Tom Cruise, you still gotta be able to handle all the nasties.

3. Make sure somebody is the captain of the ship. Period. Yes, every captain has a first mate, and before you navigate the Cape of All Things ****ed Up you consult your first mate, but ultimately, the captain makes the call. This position does not go back and forth. There can only be one captain. Period.

4. Buddies. Pals. Friends. Amigos. Comrades. You've gotta like each other before you can love each other. Otherwise, all you've got is lust. Lust is good...for an hour or so. Like/love is forever.

5. Food. You've gotta have some similarities in the crap you like to eat.

6. Interests. You've gotta have at least 1-2 things you seriously dig doing together. Sex. Looking at the sunset. Margaritas. Chinese food. OU football. Art. Something.

Finally, and most importantly give each other respect and compliment one another regurlarly. I tell momma how pretty she is, how much I appreciate her cooking, etc. every day. She tells me how much she appreciates my stability, my honesty, and my solid 9" every day and it's all good.

So in a nutshell, you just lie your asses off and it works.

[XingTheRubicon]

2. Even though you find them attractive, make sure you like being in each other's company. Not just at the dance, but when you're ****tin' yellow liver bile out your ******* and your mouth.

that was beautiful, was that James Joyce...

[C&CDean]

that was beautiful, was that James Joyce...

Nay, pure Dean from the mother****ing gall bladder.

[Leroy Lizard]

See, Leroy and his wonderful wife lead separate lives, that's why he has almost as many posts as I do. Even though I've been on four years longer than he has and have no ball and chain.

Don't worry. State laws are changing on this issue.

[KC//CRIMSON]

Don't worry. State laws are changing on this issue.

Oh look! The lonely middle-aged man made a funny on the innerwebs!

Whatever you say, Flomax.

[Leroy Lizard]

Oh look! The lonely middle-aged man made a funny on the innerwebs!

Whatever you say, Flomax.

So.... did you like my joke?

[KC//CRIMSON]

So.... did you like my joke?

Oh yeah, that was top shelf. Or, as people your age like to call it, a real knee-slapper!!

[TUSooner]

See, Leroy and his wonderful wife lead separate lives, that's why he has almost as many posts as I do. Even though I've been on four years longer than he has and have no ball and chain.

Besides, I don't have the time to camp-out and play some kind of half-*ss fifty-plus year old Dr. Drew, unlike Leroid.

Now STFU, clown pants.

I'm tempted to wish that you will never be a 50+ anything. Only stupid, shallow punklets criticize people for being old. (Youthful folly is fair game, though, because it can be fixed. :D )

Did I just defend Leroy ?!
FML. I must be getting old.

;)

[KC//CRIMSON]

I'm tempted to wish that you will never be a 50+ anything. Only stupid, shallow punklets criticize people for being old. (Youthful folly is fair game, though, because it can be fixed. :D )

Did I just defend Leroy ?!
FML. I must be getting old.

;)

Calm down, Metamucil.

I haven't seen you this frustrated since you lost your job in the Depression. ;-)