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Oldnslo
10/28/2010, 02:21 PM
that's the one where you'd swear it came out sideways.

for the uninformed and forgetful, a refresher:

TYPES OF POO

Ghost Poo:
You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the
toilet. Where is it?

Teflon Poo:
So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the
toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.

Goo Poo:
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you
still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the
toilet.

Second Thoughts Poo:
You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise...
there's more to come.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo:
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out
until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

Weight Watchers Poo:
You poo so much you lose several pounds.

Right Now Poo:
You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to
get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your
pants down.

King Kong Poo:
This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you
break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well.
This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house.

Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?

Wet Cheeks Poo:
This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the
launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.

Wish Poo:
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.

Cement Block Poo:
You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed.

Snake Poo:
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least
three feet long.

Morning After Poo:
Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't
smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house
(normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside
to use the bathroom.

Mexican Food Poo:
Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum
stops burning.

Boo Hoo Poo:
Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the
stitches or go for the fuller figure.

saucysoonergal
10/28/2010, 03:32 PM
This post stinks, rilly rilly bad.






;)

StoopTroup
10/28/2010, 03:35 PM
http://forgottenjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/spinal-tap.jpg

stoops the eternal pimp
10/28/2010, 03:39 PM
So yesterday for lunch, I ate a meatball sub from Subway with bacon, pepperoni, lettuce, tomato, and ranch dressing...I didn't start laser tagging the toilet for about 2 hours but once it started...

I've already burned out 3 O rings this week, I gotta slow down..

Mississippi Sooner
10/28/2010, 03:47 PM
If you want to guarantee yourself a combo of the Pop a Vein, King Kong and Cement Block, just take three Lortabs before you go to bed. That makes for an entertaining morning constitutional.

GKeeper316
10/28/2010, 03:51 PM
did it go to eleven?

stoops the eternal pimp
10/28/2010, 03:59 PM
If you want to guarantee yourself a combo of the Pop a Vein, King Kong and Cement Block, just take three Lortabs before you go to bed. That makes for an entertaining morning constitutional.

Here is one I tried...

2 percosats 2 grilled cheese sandwiches and a hot dog...luckily I was sitting in a handicap stall and had the grab bar to brace myself with it...


that dude had some girth to it though..I chopped it down with an ax before trying to flush

StoopTroup
10/28/2010, 04:01 PM
http://milkofmagnesiaconstipation.com/images/milk%20of%20magnesia.jpg

GottaHavePride
10/28/2010, 10:03 PM
Those ghost poos are weird.

Dio
10/29/2010, 01:01 PM
This was merely a two word review that said "S*** sandwich"

stoopified
10/29/2010, 02:40 PM
that's the one where you'd swear it came out sideways.

for the uninformed and forgetful, a refresher:

TYPES OF POO

Ghost Poo:
You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the
toilet. Where is it?

Teflon Poo:
So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the
toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.

Goo Poo:
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you
still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the
toilet.

Second Thoughts Poo:
You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise...
there's more to come.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo:
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out
until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

Weight Watchers Poo:
You poo so much you lose several pounds.

Right Now Poo:
You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to
get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your
pants down.

King Kong Poo:
This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you
break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well.
This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house.

Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?

Wet Cheeks Poo:
This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the
launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.

Wish Poo:
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.

Cement Block Poo:
You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed.

Snake Poo:
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least
three feet long.

Morning After Poo:
Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't
smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house
(normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside
to use the bathroom.

Mexican Food Poo:
Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum
stops burning.

Boo Hoo Poo:
Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the
stitches or go for the fuller figure.Too much information.