Just got back from a funeral...

[Okla-homey]

for a 17 year-old HS senior, jock, from a super family, and an all-round great kid. He put a gun in his mouth last Tuesday night.

Please, people. We must somehow help our kids understand that suicide is not the answer to ANY problem. That it's a bad decision, it's NOT romantic or sexy, it's extremely selfish and that the person who does it shatters hearts among those who loved him most that won't heal for years, if ever.

That is all.

[olevetonahill]

Dayum

[C&CDean]

I had a guy here at work have his only son (his only child) do the same thing about 9 months ago. Did it in the garage while his mom was in the kitchen. She found him. It's a sure enough bad deal.

[btk108]

I've seen way too much of it. They have no comprehension of the pain it causes the lives they've touched. Sorry, homey.

[Okla-homey]

I've seen way too much of it. They have no comprehension of the pain it causes the lives they've touched. Sorry, homey.

Appreciate it. I'm just sick for his parents. Those poor folks look like they haven't slept since Tuesday.

Question: Is this kids killing themselves stuff a fairly recent phenomenon, or are we just more aware of it because of wall-to-wall media coverage of everything everywhere?

Myself, I don't recall ever hearing about a kid killing himself during the late-Neolithic Era when I was a teen. Except for those fictional kids in "Romeo and Juliet" anyway.

[Ike]

Appreciate it. I'm just sick for his parents. Those poor folks look like they haven't slept since Tuesday.

Question: Is this kids killing themselves stuff a fairly recent phenomenon, or are we just more aware of it because of wall-to-wall media coverage of everything everywhere?

Myself, I don't recall ever hearing about a kid killing himself during the late-Neolithic Era when I was a teen. Except for those fictional kids in "Romeo and Juliet" anyway.

define "fairly recent"? A couple kids at my middle school with did it. I didn't know them personally, but some of my friends did. Just before my senior year of HS, one of my early childhood friends committed suicide-by-cop.

But we were well into the iron age by the time I was in school.

It's a truly terrible thing. There is no good reason for it. I hope his parents can find their peace.

[StoopTroup]

Sorry to hear Homey. Just as everyone here has stated...it hurts the people that would of helped you the most.

I've been close to 3 people who've taken their own lives and everytime their actions have damaged their families. Purely selfish.

[Leroy Lizard]

for a 17 year-old HS senior, jock, from a super family, and an all-round great kid. He put a gun in his mouth last Tuesday night.

Please, people. We must somehow help our kids understand that suicide is not the answer to ANY problem. That it's a bad decision, it's NOT romantic or sexy, it's extremely selfish and that the person who does it shatters hearts among those who loved him most that won't heal for years, if ever.

I don't think the person committing suicide cares. He is in pain, and in his mind suicide is one way to end the pain.

We are the ultimate phonies. We love to see people humiliated, but when they off themselves we fall all over ourselves with crocodile tears.

Consider the Sooner cheerleader caugth by the camera in very poor lighting. Fans all over the country (including some here) posted the photo mercilessly. I can only imagine how she felt and so I asked the mods to lock the thread. But did we? I don't think so.

Now, if it got to the point where she did harm to herself, those same people that made fun of her will post lots of "RIP"'s, "prayers to the family"'s, :( 's, and all that other horse****.

Sure I'll get negged. But I speak the truth.

[Okla-homey]

I don't think the person committing suicide cares. He is in pain, and in his mind suicide is one way to end the pain.

We are the ultimate phonies. We love to see people humiliated, but when they off themselves we fall all over ourselves with crocodile tears.

Consider the Sooner cheerleader caugth by the camera in very poor lighting. Fans all over the country (including some here) posted the photo mercilessly. I can only imagine how she felt and so I asked the mods to lock the thread. But did we? I don't think so.

Now, if it got to the point where she did harm to herself, those same people that made fun of her will post lots of "RIP"'s, "prayers to the family"'s, :( 's, and all that other horse****.

Sure I'll get negged. But I speak the truth.

I'm not going to neg you. But I will call you a horse's a$$.

[Leroy Lizard]

I'm not going to neg you. But I will call you a horse's a$$.

I notice you didn't disagree with me, though.

[olevetonahill]

Limptard , Ya have said some real Tard **** in the past , But this is the Tardest :rolleyes:

[royalfan5]

I don't know if there is a huge change in frequency, but there might be a wider distribution of information when one happens. People might be more willing to talk about it too. I know that after I graduated from high school there was a rash of incidences in my hometown. At least one of the cases happened shortly after the kid suffered a concussion, and short time there after wandered out side with a deer rifle and shot himself. After that there was a lot of talk about his concussion having something to do with it. I know when I got two concussions in short order, I was really out of whack for awhile.

[Leroy Lizard]

I'm not certain if it's on the rise, but the potential is there for an epidemic. Catch somebody doing something embarrassing, spread it all over the Internet.

Then pull fake boo-hoo's when the person does something horrible to himself. (Not aimed at you Homey, just people in general.)

So what can we do stop kids from doing this? Rather than telling them how selfish they will be if they kill themselves (like that would really work), how about showing some compassion for their problems and (get this) refraining from doing things to make it worse.

But that will never happen.

[Collier11]

People have to be big enough and strong enough to realize that stuff which people say and do means nothing. We all have tough times in life, some worse than others, suicide is nothing more than a selfish act. I feel so bad for any families that have to go through with it cus im sure they all feel like they could have done something.

[Leroy Lizard]

People have to be big enough and strong enough to realize that stuff which people say and do means nothing.

To a teenager, it means a lot.

Hell, to adults it means a lot. People have a lot at stake in their personal pride and reputation. You can't just pretend it doesn't mean anything.

[goingoneight]

The thing you do when you commit suicide is you hurt the ones you really love. And let's be honest, they're the only ones who care after awhile. So girlfriends, people who made you upset, etc... yes, they do forget. I've seen it since one of my closest friends OD'd a few years back. It really messed up his intermediate family and his kid, but the girlfriend (who he blamed for it all) doesn't give a damn and neither did any of the other people on the outside looking in it seems. I unfortunately attended another young friend's memorial just last Friday and the people who went to school with us all didn't even remember who he was.

It's not the answer. No matter how rough things may get from time to time, you can always eventually find light at the end of the tunnel and something well-worth living for. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I wish I was lying when I told you I've known 13 people who died by their own hand. What's worse about that number is I'm only 25 (26 tomorrow).

[Leroy Lizard]

It's not the answer. No matter how rough things may get from time to time, you can always eventually find light at the end of the tunnel and something well-worth living for. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I wish I was lying when I told you I've known 13 people who died by their own hand. What's worse about that number is I'm only 25 (26 tomorrow).

There are some that think they will be teaching those that hurt them a lesson. They won't. You are absolutely right; those that cause the suffering usually get over it pretty quickly in the end, if they ever cared at all.

[Collier11]

The problem is that a lot of kids these days seriously dont realize that when you kill yourself youre gone, for good

[goingoneight]

I can't help but wonder if some of them think it's like a reset button or something. Like... "I'm done with this jazz."

I know most people do this out of pain, confusion and frustration they're uncomfortable seeking help for. It's almost like it's last resort... when it shouldn't be an option at all.

I really feel for the friends and family, Homey. :(

[Collier11]

Def, horrible deal and nothing but prayers and good thoughts to the family.

[soonerinkaty]

I'm not defending the kids actions in any way, but we don't know what struggles he was going through. People handle their problems differently. Its a damn shame he handled his like this. Prayers for the family.

[49r]

We are the ultimate phonies. We love to see people humiliated, but when they off themselves we fall all over ourselves with crocodile tears.

Sure I'll get negged. But I speak the truth.

I actually agree with the sentiment. It's true, people are huge phonies, and the world would be a better place if we thought about our actions and their ultimate consequences more.

Which makes the perfect segue to the crux of my point which is this.

This thread is probably not the appropriate place to bring up your topic, the threads where people are piling on the disrespect for others, THAT'S the place. You can remind folks who are being dooshes in those threads of ones like this one.

You'll get negged not for the message, but the venue in which it's delivered. Do you see how it makes you look like a phony yourself? It's the same thing, just reversed.

[49r]

Oh, and suicide is a bad, bad deal. My sympathies go out to the family.

[Collier11]

Agreed and I apologize Homey for debating in this thread

[Leroy Lizard]

I actually agree with the sentiment. It's true, people are huge phonies, and the world would be a better place if we thought about our actions and their ultimate consequences more.

Which makes the perfect segue to the crux of my point which is this.

This thread is probably not the appropriate place to bring up your topic, the threads where people are piling on the disrespect for others, THAT'S the place. You can remind folks who are being dooshes in those threads of ones like this one.

Read the original OP. It was about preventing suicide. My point is simple: Instead of bashing on those who commit suicide after they are dead (which does a lot of whoppin' good), how about showing true compassion for them while they're still alive?

[Blue]

It's one big FU to a world that is getting increasingly more ridiculous to live in.

Very sorry for the family and I agree its selfish. I think these kids just don't see that far ahead.

[TUSooner]

Read the original OP. It was about preventing suicide. My point is simple: Instead of bashing on those who commit suicide after they are dead (which does a lot of whoppin' good), how about showing true compassion for them while they're still alive?

That's good. (But I might neg you anyway, just be safe. :D )

I just wish those kids could realize that there's always SOME thing to live for. Even living for something trivial is better than dying for absolutely nothing. It's OK to feel ****ty sometimes, but everything passes; nothing stays the same. And yer gonna die eventually anyway, so there's no need to rush it along.

[picasso]

Appreciate it. I'm just sick for his parents. Those poor folks look like they haven't slept since Tuesday.

Question: Is this kids killing themselves stuff a fairly recent phenomenon, or are we just more aware of it because of wall-to-wall media coverage of everything everywhere?

Myself, I don't recall ever hearing about a kid killing himself during the late-Neolithic Era when I was a teen. Except for those fictional kids in "Romeo and Juliet" anyway.

His folks are wonderful people. They directed our class for the last few years.

Tough stuff.

[King Crimson]

people end their own lives for a lot of reasons. that's all i know, having seen it my own life experience. not just one comprehensive thing.

it's not new, it's just easier to do these days. Emile Durkheim wrote a book on suicide in 1897.

the "concept" of suicide was one of the groundbreaking moments of secular sociology....and in many ways, the framework for understanding philosophical movements like "existentialism"...in the WW I and WW II eras. absolute freedom to take one's own life.

precedents for this in Ancient Greek philosophy and Buddhism.

now, it's different than ending it because you don't make cheerleader or whatever...

[yermom]

The problem is that a lot of kids these days seriously dont realize that when you kill yourself youre gone, for good

when you are that young it's hard to see how much life you have left, and how unimportant the **** that's bothering you probably really is.

[Leroy Lizard]

people end their own lives for a lot of reasons. that's all i know, having seen it my own life experience. not just one comprehensive thing.

it's not new, it's just easier to do these days. Emile Durkheim wrote a book on suicide in 1897.

Don't forget "Gloomy Sunday"



Gloomy Sunday with a hundred white flowers
I was waiting for you my dearest with a prayer
A Sunday morning, chasing after my dreams
The carriage of my sorrow returned to me without you
It is since then that my Sundays have been forever sad
Tears my only drink, the sorrow my bread...

Gloomy Sunday

This last Sunday, my darling please come to me
There'll be a priest, a coffin, a catafalque and a winding-sheet
There'll be flowers for you, flowers and a coffin
Under the blossoming trees it will be my last journey
My eyes will be open, so that I could see you for a last time
Don't be afraid of my eyes, I'm blessing you even in my death...

The last Sunday

[yankee]

Limptard , Ya have said some real Tard **** in the past , But this is the Tardest :rolleyes:

he actually makes a valid point; you just don't like it cuz you made fun of the OU cheerleader and got indirectly called out on it.

[yankee]

i hope people realize that the internet can be used as a weapon now a days...like that gay kid who just recently committed suicide because his roommate posted a video on the internet of him making out with his gay lover. jumped off a freakin' bridge. i don't agree with that lifestyle and i don't wanna get all political, but that is just awful stuff. i can't even imagine being driven to the brink and actually considering suicide. we all have really crappy days/weeks/months, but i've never even even remotely considered...

[yermom]

or that weird city council thing here...

[yankee]

or that weird city council thing here...

yeah that too. my intro to HR professor was spouting off about that. pretty sure she's a lesbian, but i didn't feel like arguing with her because my grade lies in her hands. apparently it's like gay month or something? i dunno. count me out.

[Leroy Lizard]

or that weird city council thing here...

I don't see the relevance of that event to the Internet. People have a right to speak their mind. They didn't target the individual kid for ridicule.

[yermom]

it's not internet, but it's similar.

[AlbqSooner]

My prayers to the family and other remaining friends. Before I am called out, I HAVE spoken out about suicide before it happens. Once on this board IIRC.

Until we have been to the jumping off point, we will never comprehend what the individual is going through. When the pain of living becomes so great that it overcomes the most basic human instinct - survival- people see no other way out. The survivors of attempts who I have spoken with all say that it is not a matter of wanting to say FU to the world or to specific people. It is a matter of wanting to stop the pain. That pain has become so great that they do not even consider the effect on family and friends.

Grieve for the departed. Support the remaining. Do not judge the individual who chooses suicide as some overly selfish person who set out to reciprocate the hurt they are experiencing.

[soonerhubs]

My prayers to the family and other remaining friends. Before I am called out, I HAVE spoken out about suicide before it happens. Once on this board IIRC.

Until we have been to the jumping off point, we will never comprehend what the individual is going through. When the pain of living becomes so great that it overcomes the most basic human instinct - survival- people see no other way out. The survivors of attempts who I have spoken with all say that it is not a matter of wanting to say FU to the world or to specific people. It is a matter of wanting to stop the pain. That pain has become so great that they do not even consider the effect on family and friends.

Grieve for the departed. Support the remaining. Do not judge the individual who chooses suicide as some overly selfish person who set out to reciprocate the hurt they are experiencing.

THIS!

[stoops the eternal pimp]

Working with teenagers, I've seen this way to often...Nothing like trying to help a family cope when they come home and discover their son hanging from a tree as the headlights go across his body....and the suicide numbers have been pretty consistent for years I believe.

What we fail to forget is how small the world is for a teenager..They have a handful of friends, a girl/boyfriend, school, and home. Most haven't experience much of the real world. When something is out of balance in those areas, it can create a lot of anxiety and stress because they don't realize there is something else out there..a lot bigger world than their little circle.

Its a terrible, terrible, loss for this family, and my prayers go out to them

[OU_Sooners75]

Depression is a terrible illness!

Sorry to hear bout this homey.

My cousin did the same thing right before Christmas of 2002

[Leroy Lizard]

What we fail to forget is how small the world is for a teenager.

This is probably the biggest component of the problem. When your world is small, little things become big things.

So what to do about it? First of all, having the kids travel outside their locale on a routine basis might help.

The "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" was a good idea if it wasn't so sexist ("daughter") and stupid ("taking kids out of school when it could have been done during the summer").

[TUSooner]

***
What we fail to forget is how small the world is for a teenager..They have a handful of friends, a girl/boyfriend, school, and home. Most haven't experience much of the real world. When something is out of balance in those areas, it can create a lot of anxiety and stress because they don't realize there is something else out there..a lot bigger world than their little circle....

Well said.

[picasso]

Depression is a terrible illness!

Sorry to hear bout this homey.

My cousin did the same thing right before Christmas of 2002

There's no evidence he was depressed.

My wife and I were nearly rear ended back in May by a 22 year old kid going 100mph on the highway.
He swerved and hit the woods/ditch, was ejected and died a few days later.
Turns out he had just had an argument with his father.

Dad's and arguments aren't worth killing yourself over.

[Oldnslo]

As an RA, back in the mid and late 80's, we were trained to look for signs of a kid looking at suicide.

I stopped 2. I just happened to be there.

I can't think of anything worse for the family. They'll spend the rest of their days wondering if they could have done something different or better for their child.

My thoughts and prayers to the family.

[soonerloyal]

Still on my mind & in my prayers, dear.


Don't judge me for how I left this world, remember the love I gave.
A lot of grief will follow me for the decision that I have made.
Changes appear in everyone's life, some good and some bad.
The one I chose for myself made everyone very sad.

But in time memories will heal the hurt of hearts,
And my presence will be felt by all with an inner peace.
Remember me when the sun is bright and laughter fills the air,
And a moonlit night and a whisper of wind will tell you I am there.

Don't look down on my family or fill their hearts with blame.
For my leaving them without good-byes, they will never be the same.
If I could go back in time I'd say a last good-bye.
I'd tell them to look to tomorrow and for me, do not cry.

----- Author Unknown

[proud gonzo]

A very good friend of mine committed suicide a year ago. Don't know what makes people do it, but it certainly sucks.

[oumartin]

I have been out of school for almost 20 years and while I was in school 2 kids put guns in their mouth and killed themselves. It's not all that recent.

It's terrible. I pick up my children almost every day from school and I always speak directly to them and make sure I find out how their days are going. If I sense any kind of weird vibe I talk to them just in general terms about some days are bad, some weeks are bad but it's never something that can't get better. Suicide scares me to no end so I try everything I can to prevent it and let them know life has its up and downs.