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Mjcpr
5/14/2004, 01:26 PM
I don't know why people send these anonymously. From the newspaper....and for Penguin in particular.

Dear Dr. Gott: I have a rather embarrassing condition: the crack of my behind itches terribly. I am reluctant to discuss this with my physician or with a dermatologist. I have tried many topical lotions and creams, all unsuccessful. What do you advise? I'm 56 and overweight by about 40 pounds.

Dear Reader: Believe me, itchy skin between your buttocks would be a routine problem for your doctor to address; he or she deals every day with more personal afflictions. So, my advice is to seek help from a physician.

A common cause of a symptom such as yours is intertrigo, chronic irritation of the skin between the buttocks, that is the result of chronic dampness of the areas where skin touches skin, in a dark and warm environment. The condition is more common in diabetics and overweight people. Over time, the inflamed surfaces act as a breeding ground for yeasts -- or the skin may become infected with bacteria if there is significant rawness.

Your doctor can perform a culture of the inflamed skin. This simple test will demonstrate the presence of yeasts or microorganisms and will assist the physician in deciding what therapy would be most effective. Also, he may want to check you for diabetes. Don't let your embarrassment pre vent you from addressing your concerns with a health care professional.

While you're awaiting your appointment, begin a weight-loss diet to trim down. This may be a big help in reducing the severity of your itching.

WILDCAT NATION
5/14/2004, 01:30 PM
Something tells me this isn't the type of hot *** to which Frozen was referring to...

Sooner51
5/14/2004, 01:31 PM
Sounds like a case of lake-butt to me.

Mjcpr
5/14/2004, 01:32 PM
Hard to say when it mentions this: chronic irritation of the skin between the buttocks, that is the result of chronic dampness of the areas where skin touches skin, in a dark and warm environment (hot ***).

Only Froze knows.

Gambino Sooner
5/14/2004, 01:32 PM
I don't know why people send these anonymously. From the newspaper....and for Penguin in particular.

Dear Dr. Gott: I have a rather embarrassing condition: the crack of my behind itches terribly. I am reluctant to discuss this with my physician or with a dermatologist. I have tried many topical lotions and creams, all unsuccessful. What do you advise? I'm 56 and overweight by about 40 pounds.

Dear Reader: 99.9% of your problem is how fat your a** is. Lose weight and maybe you won't itch!

What should have been said.

Mjcpr
5/14/2004, 01:34 PM
Gambino, I'm no Dr but you could be on to something. I'm sure if your load is wide enough, there's got to be some places you can't get to and I'll bet those nether regions are one of them.

soonerrodg
5/14/2004, 02:51 PM
"Golfer's Butt"

proud gonzo
2/13/2006, 12:00 PM
Chicken Butt? :confused:

crawfish
2/13/2006, 12:03 PM
Well, given the choice, I'd rather smell crotch.

Penguin
2/13/2006, 12:08 PM
My right buttock hasn't itched in days.

Sooner in Tampa
2/13/2006, 12:09 PM
:confused:
http://altcancer.silvermedicine.org/jocki.jpg

Penguin
2/13/2006, 12:21 PM
You might want to get some ointment for that.

BudSooner
2/13/2006, 12:27 PM
Reminds me of that movie "my boss daughter"


Heh............BLECH!

Harry Beanbag
2/13/2006, 12:42 PM
http://www.burnyourears.de/images/main/smilies/vomit.gif

Flagstaffsooner
2/13/2006, 12:54 PM
:confused:
http://altcancer.silvermedicine.org/jocki.jpg
Looks like the mods have found a new form of punishment.

BudSooner
2/13/2006, 01:00 PM
Looks like the mods have found a new form of punishment.


A victim of Brokeback Mountain? or does that give all new meaning to ride 'em cowboy??:D

crawfish
2/13/2006, 01:02 PM
There are WAAAY too many butt pics on here lately. :mad:

Penguin
2/13/2006, 01:15 PM
Heh. Butt picks.

Sooner in Tampa
2/13/2006, 01:16 PM
There are WAAAY too many butt pics on here lately. :mad:Mine serves as a PSA. :P

fadada1
2/13/2006, 01:20 PM
A victim of Brokeback Mountain? or does that give all new meaning to ride 'em cowboy??:D
i'm not touching that one with a ten foot buttstick.

Sooner_Bob
2/13/2006, 01:25 PM
There are WAAAY too many butt pics on here lately. :mad:


true dat

Penguin
2/13/2006, 01:26 PM
Just don't pick your butt in public.

Harry Beanbag
2/13/2006, 02:45 PM
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your butt, but you can't pick your friend's butt.

skycat
2/13/2006, 02:53 PM
Just don't pick your butt in public.


But it itches!!

BeetDigger
2/13/2006, 03:28 PM
This thread scratches me right where I itch.

Sooner_Bob
2/13/2006, 03:30 PM
http://www.ibiblio.org/Dave/Dr-Fun/collections/1991/images/df1991-126.gif

pb4ou
2/13/2006, 03:38 PM
:eek:

GDC
2/13/2006, 03:46 PM
http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=62325&highlight=anti-monkey+butt

OhU1
2/13/2006, 04:09 PM
Butt crack yeast. Now I know the secret ingredient used to brew Corona and why it requires a lime to drink it.

Harry Beanbag
2/13/2006, 04:39 PM
http://i.walmart.com/i/p/00/06/21/03/33/0006210333306_215X215.jpg
http://i.a.cnn.net/nascar/2005/news/business/04/06/kcrosby_paste/paste.384.jpg

crawfish
2/13/2006, 04:40 PM
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your butt, but you can't pick your friend's butt.

If I could've picked a butt, I would've picked a more attractive one.

Harry Beanbag
2/13/2006, 04:47 PM
If I could've picked a butt, I would've picked a more attractive one.


What's wrong with this one? :confused:


http://altcancer.silvermedicine.org/jocki.jpg

Mjcpr
2/13/2006, 05:06 PM
That's what I'm getting Mrs Mj for Valentine's Day.

A heart-shaped ***.

BeetDigger
2/13/2006, 05:08 PM
What's wrong with this one? :confused:


http://altcancer.silvermedicine.org/jocki.jpg


This is what happens whe you don't use those seat covers when you use a public restroom.

Mjcpr
2/13/2006, 05:11 PM
You guys are going to get us designated as a butt rash site if you keep posting those pics.

crawfish
2/13/2006, 05:24 PM
I can only hope my company will ban this site.

VeeJay
2/13/2006, 05:52 PM
How is the red butt pic allowed to stay when I posted the covered up but bent over butt of Heather Locklear (ALLEGEDLY) the other day and it got zapped?

I don't understand why the mods want to allow this butt instead.

IB4OU2
2/13/2006, 05:55 PM
How is the red butt pic allowed to stay when I posted the covered up but bent over butt of Heather Locklear (ALLEGEDLY) the other day and it got zapped?

I don't understand why the mods want to allow this butt instead.

Same way the Dominatrix thread is still surviving, Wer'e without parental guidance for the moment.........;)

Mjcpr
2/13/2006, 06:00 PM
Same way the Dominatrix thread is still surviving, Wer'e without parental guidance for the moment.........;)

Anybody feel like playing with matches?

GottaHavePride
2/13/2006, 07:05 PM
Hey, if I could I'd zap the butt rash pics, but I don't have that kind of authority.

OklahomaTrombone
2/13/2006, 07:07 PM
Hey, if I could I'd zap the butt rash pics, but I don't have that kind of authority.


ditto.

BudSooner
2/13/2006, 07:10 PM
Yeah kinda strange, where are the mods?

GottaHavePride
2/13/2006, 07:14 PM
Dean doesn't have innerweb at home, but I don't know about the others. Or otherd.

OklahomaTrombone
2/13/2006, 07:33 PM
otherd has too much "work"

The rest are at :eddie:'s bedside

GottaHavePride
2/13/2006, 07:35 PM
Otherd has too much work? What are paying him for? Oh. Nothing. Right. :D

BeetDigger
2/13/2006, 07:39 PM
Anybody feel like playing with matches?


Quick, to the liquor cabinet.

Mjcpr
2/13/2006, 07:41 PM
I've got the keys to Fark Central's car if anybody wants to sneak out.

OklahomaTrombone
2/13/2006, 07:48 PM
I've called teh chicks.

Mjcpr
2/13/2006, 07:49 PM
I've called teh chicks.

Are they bringing their butts?

OklahomaTrombone
2/13/2006, 07:51 PM
Yes.

And 40's...to pour out in honor of their gang leader.

The JB

Mjcpr
2/13/2006, 07:54 PM
Sweet!

http://marlins.mlblogs.com/photos/uncategorized/peter_griffin_1.gif

proud gonzo
2/13/2006, 07:58 PM
i'm sorry I bumped this thread.

OklahomaTrombone
2/13/2006, 08:08 PM
i'm sorry I humped this thread.


Why?

It give you VD or something?

;)

PrideTrombone
2/13/2006, 08:17 PM
Why?

It give you VD or something?

;)

Maybe it slipped her a roofie. Damn you thread, no means no!

Okla-homey
2/13/2006, 09:21 PM
Looks like a job for Anti-Monkey Butt Powder to me.

http://img108.imageshack.us/img108/3628/monkeylogo3ox.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

proud gonzo
2/14/2006, 11:19 PM
:confused:
http://altcancer.silvermedicine.org/jocki.jpg

is this the butt picture everyone's complaining about?

proud gonzo
2/14/2006, 11:19 PM
:confused:
http://altcancer.silvermedicine.org/jocki.jpg

that is pretty bad. :eek:

proud gonzo
2/14/2006, 11:20 PM
:confused:
http://altcancer.silvermedicine.org/jocki.jpg

beano really needs to delete the butt pictures, I don't think they're appropriate

Breadburner
5/15/2010, 07:52 AM
I have always called it swamp-***.....

crawfish
5/15/2010, 09:02 AM
Good times.

Al Gore
5/15/2010, 09:31 AM
My daughter and I saw this in the store last week.......

http://www.antimonkeybutt.com/index.php?submenu=Home&src=

Al Gore
5/15/2010, 09:32 AM
Dang...did not see the second page,,,Homey beat me to it....

Pre-mature e-linking

Pricetag
5/15/2010, 10:47 AM
That's the kind of product you buy even if you don't need it, just because it's so funny. I bet it's just talcum powder in there.