Who are you? And why are you such an ***?

[delhalew]

Yeah you ****er! You are the guy who walks past a row of urinals in order to stand at the toilet and ****. Knowing you are going to **** all over everything, you don't bother to lift the lid. I have no choice but to use public restrooms for numbers one and two. Therefore, I have to find a way to satisfactorily clean your **** of the seat before I drop a deuce. You then leave without washing your hands. I assume you believe you have escaped the need, but you seem to forget that in order to leave you have to touch the dick handle.

Are you afraid someone will catch a sideways glimpse of you pathetic little weiner? Do you have an actual mental disorder like "shy bladder"? Either way...**** you...prick. What makes you so ****ing special?

If this is you, I am dangerously close to knocking your ****ing teeth out and drowning you in the toilet bowl. You classless ****tard.

[Curly Bill]

It's not me. I hate those folks too.

[Tulsa_Fireman]

My bad.

It takes so much to wrestle control of this mighty hogmeat, I sometimes get a little loose with the target.

[delhalew]

My bad.

It takes so much to wrestle control of this mighty hogmeat, I sometimes get a little loose with the target.

You Sum' bitch!:D

[Mississippi Sooner]

If you must pee in the toilet, at least do like the girls and sit down. Much less chance of making a mess that way.

[SouthFortySooner]

I understand your frustration. I feel the same of people who leave their trash at campsites and have wanted to attack them publicly via written media. It only increases my frustration when I understand either of these cretin manifestations can't read.

[btk108]

His name is Seabass

[StoopTroup]

What you need to do is when a dude pees on the toilet seat is walk right up to it and tear it off the toilet and then play a game of toilet horseshoes with his neck being the ringer. Remember to wash your hands before returning to the club area for more drinks.

YWIA

ST :D

[MR2-Sooner86]

YAre you afraid someone will catch a sideways glimpse of you pathetic little weiner?

Yes...that's exactly the reason. I couldn't handle the laughter anymore :(

[StoopTroup]

FYI...there are some other alternatives too. :D

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4d/Pedestal-squat-toilet.jpg

[delhalew]

Or you could use that mighty brain God gave ya' and deduce the express purpose of a urinal. Here is a tip folks...it ain't a drinking fountain.

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Or you could use that mighty brain God gave ya' and deduce the express purpose of a urinal. Here is a tip folks...it ain't a drinking fountain.

It's...

http://thisiswhyitsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/triumph.jpg

FOR ME TO POOP ON

[Chuck Bao]

It was not me.

But, I have started using the toilet, instead of the urnials in public bathrooms when I need to take a ****. It is just so much easier to make sure that I don't accidentally pee down the side of my trousers and then get in that embarrassing situation that I have to resort to trying to get my crotch as close as possible to one of those air hand dryers. Or failing that, I splash water all over my pants to make it look less obvious.

So, I drop my pants to my ankles and most of you guys would get totally freaked out by that if I were at a urinal. At the toilet stall, I lift the seat using toilet paper, of course, and even wipe up the splatter.

I've learned my lesson. If you are on an overseas airplane trip and you smell like pee, your fellow travelers will not like it, even if you try to disguise the smell with the cologne provided in the airplane bathroom.

Yeah, I have a urinal in my home and that is all I use. I still haven't mastered the two pee streams and a ring that could move and redirect one of the streams onto my leg. It is still pretty much hit and miss but much more correctable when it is a naked leg instead of finding out later that the pants leg was soaked.

But those people you described do deserve your derision

[delhalew]

It was not me.

But, I have started using the toilet, instead of the urnials in public bathrooms when I need to take a ****. It is just so much easier to make sure that I don't accidentally pee down the side of my trousers and then get in that embarrassing situation that I have to resort to trying to get my crotch as close as possible to one of those air hand dryers. Or failing that, I splash water all over my pants to make it look less obvious.

So, I drop my pants to my ankles and most of you guys would get totally freaked out by that if I were at a urinal. At the toilet stall, I lift the seat using toilet paper, of course, and even wipe up the splatter.

I've learned my lesson. If you are on an overseas airplane trip and you smell like pee, your fellow travelers will not like it, even if you try to disguise the smell with the cologne provided in the airplane bathroom.

Yeah, I have a urinal in my home and that is all I use. I still haven't mastered the two pee streams and a ring that could move and redirect one of the streams onto my leg. It is still pretty much hit and miss but much more correctable when it is a naked leg instead of finding out later that the pants leg was soaked.

But those people you described do deserve your derision

Well, you solved the whole problem by lifting the gawddamn lid. You sir, did not fail at life.

[olevetonahill]

I do it to intentionally **** people off.
Im the " Leroy of the Public restrooms" if you will :P

[Crucifax Autumn]

This is why pissing outside is better.

[Chuck Bao]

This is exactly why I couldn't take a **** outside of Olevet's house as he looked on. Now, I very much appreciate the curtesy of the host standing on the porch and saying goodbye to departing guests. I just didn't know how he'd feel about me dropping my pants and showing my *** just to pee. It could have been really, really badly misintepreted. Never mind, I waited to get down the road a bit and dropped my trousers and peed all over the road and nobody knows about that until now.

[Crucifax Autumn]

That was your **** I slipped in?

[royalfan5]

Perhaps if some people didn't feel the need to converse at the urinal, people would feel the need to **** in the ****ter.

[Chuck Bao]

That was your **** I slipped in?


You were in Wister? When? For the record, I don't take a **** on just any old rural road.

[delhalew]

Perhaps if some people didn't feel the need to converse at the urinal, people would feel the need to **** in the ****ter.

lol. That has only ever happened to me at a bar.

[Crucifax Autumn]

I hate when they start yapping at me through the glory hole.

[royalfan5]

lol. That has only ever happened to me at a bar.

My boss decided he needed to tell me I've been doing a good job and lay out a bunch of plans while he was pissing next to me the other day. Then while I was trying to finish up the sales manager came up and started ask me a bunch of questions. I can multitask doing a lot of things, but pissing ain't one.

[Chuck Bao]

lol. That has only ever happened to me at a bar.

Did you introduce yourself and shake hands? I only ask that because of a SNL clip that I saw yesterday either here or elsewhere that was just so uncomfortably awkward. Changing hands and hand shaking is not something I really want to do at a urinal.

But, I would be honored to pee along side of you, delhalew.

[delhalew]

Did you introduce yourself and shake hands? I only ask that because of a SNL clip that I saw yesterday either here or elsewhere that was just so uncomfortably awkward. Changing hands and hand shaking is not something I really want to do at a urinal.

But, I would be honored to pee along side of you, delhalew.

Well, if I'm whizzing next to a friend conversation is fine, but I don't need to meet anyone at a urinal...and I damn sure ain't shaking hands. lmao.

[delhalew]

My boss decided he needed to tell me I've been doing a good job and lay out a bunch of plans while he was pissing next to me the other day. Then while I was trying to finish up the sales manager came up and started ask me a bunch of questions. I can multitask doing a lot of things, but pissing ain't one.

That makes me think of the phrase...familiarity breeds contempt. I don't want my boss to think we can have a talk at the urinal.

[tulsaoilerfan]

It's pretty simple; if you **** in a toilet, lift the ****ing lid; i'm also one of those people that has to occasionally take a **** in a public restroom because of my job