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RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!
8/5/2010, 12:09 PM
my nightmere

In the nightmare, I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I'm circumcised!

Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it was that same color, black.

I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair.

But it's a wheelchair!

That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled! I said to myself, aloud 'This is impossible! It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled!'

'It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me.

I turn around, and it's my boyfriend.

Just what I needed!!! I am a homosexual, and on top of that, with a Mexican boyfriend.

Oh, my God .... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive!!!

Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and Oh, nooooo...I'm bald!!!

The telephone rings. it's my brother. He is saying, 'Since mom and dad died, the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job, you worthless piece of crap... Any job!'

Mom? Dad? Nooooo ... Now I'm also an unemployed orphan!

I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan, but he doesn't get it.

Frustrated, I hang up. It's then I realize I only have one hand!!! With tears in my eyes, I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker.... Pacemaker??

Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood.

At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, 'Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided what you are going to wear to Washington to see Obama?

Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug-addicted, Jewish homosexual on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend, but please, Oh dear God, please don't tell me I'm a Democrat.

Sooner_Havok
8/5/2010, 12:29 PM
How long till I get this chestnut in my email with the subject, "fw: fw: fw:fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: Things can't get worse, OMG!!!!!!!!111!"

OhU1
8/5/2010, 12:33 PM
How long till I get this chestnut in my email with the subject, "fw: fw: fw:fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: Things can't get worse, OMG!!!!!!!!111!"

How long? Hell I got this one a few months ago. My 60 - 70 year old extended relatives send this type of must read material to my in-box on a regular basis.

Ike
8/5/2010, 12:33 PM
Ya know, I didn't expect it to be the case, but Ethiopian food is really tasty.

RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!
8/5/2010, 12:35 PM
How long? Hell I got this one a few months ago. My 60 - 70 year old extended relatives send this type of must read material to my in-box on a regular basis.You at least have some sensible relatives.
Good for you that they are looking out for you, and they still have hope for you.

yermom
8/5/2010, 12:43 PM
Ya know, I didn't expect it to be the case, but Ethiopian food is really tasty.

that bread is a little weird, but yeah

Frozen Sooner
8/5/2010, 12:43 PM
Ya know, I didn't expect it to be the case, but Ethiopian food is really tasty.

When you don't have a whole lot, you tend to prepare it well. See Chinese Food.

Ike
8/5/2010, 12:46 PM
that bread is a little weird, but yeah

I thought that at first too, but by the end of my meal, I really liked the bread.

Sooner_Havok
8/5/2010, 12:46 PM
How long? Hell I got this one a few months ago. My 60 - 70 year old extended relatives send this type of must read material to my in-box on a regular basis.

Eh, my extreme right wing nutjob relative was recently cut lose from my immediate, conservative, family. I don't get this kind of stuff as frequently or as often now. Still get some though...:(

Sooner_Havok
8/5/2010, 12:47 PM
Ya know, I didn't expect it to be the case, but Ethiopian food is really tasty.

Queen of Sheba?

Ike
8/5/2010, 12:48 PM
Queen of Sheba?

Yup. Never would have ventured there if it weren't for the recommendation of a good friend.

Sooner_Havok
8/5/2010, 12:49 PM
Yup. Never would have ventured there if it weren't for the recommendation of a good friend.

It is surprisingly good huh? But yeah, not the greatest location, or the best looking place from the street.

Ike
8/5/2010, 12:53 PM
It is surprisingly good huh? But yeah, not the greatest location, or the best looking place from the street.

Yes on all accounts. I wonder how they'd do in a much better location.

Pogue Mahone
8/5/2010, 12:54 PM
I enjoy the Ethiopian food a few times a year, but I could eat Pakistani food three times a week.

And I've never received one of those "Obama is a Muslim/Nazi/Communist/Socialist/Horn Fan/Lousy Driver" e-mails. Not one.

Sooner_Havok
8/5/2010, 12:56 PM
Yes on all accounts. I wonder how they'd do in a much better location.

You would think they would do bank. Move it to a place like Norman, and it would take of like gangbusters.

OhU1
8/5/2010, 01:22 PM
You at least have some sensible relatives.
Good for you that they are looking out for you, and they still have hope for you.

Hey Rush, did you get the "Obama Care" e-mail with the photoshop of Obama in african garb and the witch doctor bone in his nose? :D

RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!
8/5/2010, 01:32 PM
Hey Rush, did you get the "Obama Care" e-mail with the photoshop of Obama in african garb and the witch doctor bone in his nose? :Dnot yet. Are witch doctors paid by the tribal govt., or directly by their patients?

TopDawg
8/5/2010, 03:00 PM
Ya know, I didn't expect it to be the case, but Ethiopian food is really tasty.

The best sweet potato I ever had was in Kenya.

Scott D
8/5/2010, 03:29 PM
so did anyone find out if the doctor in question was a proctologist?

C&CDean
8/5/2010, 04:29 PM
So, how many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?

All of them.

So, what do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

NormanPride
8/5/2010, 04:45 PM
When you don't have a whole lot, you tend to prepare it well. See Chinese Food.

I've had authentic Chinese, and it reminds me a lot of English food. You have your staples that everyone knows and loves, and then the rest are things that nobody in their right mind that isn't from the country would ever eat.

Frozen Sooner
8/5/2010, 04:51 PM
I've had authentic Chinese, and it reminds me a lot of English food. You have your staples that everyone knows and loves, and then the rest are things that nobody in their right mind that isn't from the country would ever eat.

I have too. Some weird stuff, but it was all delicious.

Chuck Bao
8/5/2010, 05:31 PM
I've had authentic Chinese, and it reminds me a lot of English food. You have your staples that everyone knows and loves, and then the rest are things that nobody in their right mind that isn't from the country would ever eat.

Seriously? I love you dude, but seriously? I assume that you have sampled food in China and the tourist fare, especially on a packaged tour, and that can be quite bland and you can visit the nighttime market and see the dogs up for slaughter and the snake blood mixed with rice whiskey. In fact, the regional fare, which are very, very different, are exquisite from Shainghai to Peking to Guangdong to Shezwan and none of it will give you pause to swallow. I would love to arrange a food tour of Hong Kong and take you out for a different regional cuisine each night for four days. You probably wouldn't recognize any of it.