9 Deadly Words Used by Women

[MR2-Sooner86]

1. Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!

5. Loud Sigh
This is actually a word but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. 'That’s okay' means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’. That will bring on ‘whatever’)

8. Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying **** YOU!

9. Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

[delhalew]

Uhhgg. What have I done with my life. (Not a question, just the death rattle of a broken man.)

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

1. Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!

5. Loud Sigh
This is actually a word but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. 'That’s okay' means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’. That will bring on ‘whatever’)

8. Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying **** YOU!

9. Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.This represents good advice or "heads up", but is a downer of a thread. If I was modding, I would offer 2 stars, max.

[badger]

100 percent true.

beware, gentlemen :)

[the_ouskull]

Wherever this crap was cooked-up, is it too late to send it back?

Yes? Well, poppycock! I guess I'll respond then...

---




1. Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

- What a woman MUST be before she even has a shot at being right. It's usually a long shot, regardless.

2. Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

- I don't care if rollers are in the hair, "five minutes" is 300 seconds, and if I tell you I have to be somewhere at 8, and you start getting ready at 7, you can expect to hear it. I don't have one of those "I-can't-get-chicks-so-I-do-what-they-say" clocks in my room, though. If she starts getting ready at 7, I'll be there, ready by 7:30 'cause I started getting ready in time. The problem is two-fold: 1) girls underestimate how long it will take them to get ready because they don't want to be honest about 2) their attractiveness on a given day, and what they have to do to enhance/cover up. 299... 298...

3. Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

- Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end there too. When a girl says "nothing," she's saying that she doesn't want to talk, because I don't speak F*cking Idiot. When someting IS wrong, she'll step out of the junior high and talk to you like an adult... unless she's NOT an adult, in which case, I have to ask... Eighteen?

If so,

http://indyposted.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/borat_high_five-2500.jpg

HIGH-FIVE! Have a fiesta!

If not,

http://www.stockphototalk.com/phototalk/images/forrestrunningtojonathan.jpg

4. Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!

- Once again, the problem is that men allow women to speak in some kind of ridiculous "code" that makes them feel empowered. If they were intelligent enough naturally, they wouldn't need "code." They'd be able to command the language without manipulating its intended meaning... like me. To me, when a girl says, "Go ahead," it can only mean one of two things...

1) Challenge accepted!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_cHAKr_A0KEQ/S6vX2zDlcyI/AAAAAAAAA7I/4J-WnBc_pJc/s1600/barney_stinson.jpg

OR, 2) PIITB.

5. Loud Sigh
This is not (sic) actually a word but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

- There's no misunderstanding on MY part, so, for the rest of you men out there, let me clarify this as well. A great deal of communication IS non-verbal. But, when a woman flings loose a loud sigh, it only means ONE thing...

http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/128915702659755735.jpg

Don't feed the animal's ego.

6. That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. 'That’s okay' means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

- Depending on the context, this can mean a lot of things. It's the answer I ususally expect to receive right before, "Hey, I'm going to the strip club." But, no matter what your request/statement of purpose may have been, your response to "That's okay" should never waver far from: "I wasn't asking your permission."

7. Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’. That will bring on ‘whatever’)

- A woman SHOULD thank you... at least, when you do something right. If you consistantly do things wrong, then, don't sweat it. Your woman can thank ME. :D

8. Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying **** YOU!

- No it's not. It's a woman's way of admitting to everybody involved but herself, ('cause women rarely, if ever, admit any REAL truths to themselves, especially before 30) that she's not capable of "winning" whatever situation her ignorance and stupidity has landed her in this time, so she's trying to end any discussion before she's asked to do things like prove points, and back up statements. If a chick says "whatever" during an argument, keep laying into her. You don't let off of the gas when you can see the finish line, do you?

9. Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

- If it was something the man involved either 1) said he'd do, or 2) is "expected" to do, (i.e. - "man work," also known as "b*tch, stay out of my toolbox") then he should have done it. Otherwise, he should have given her a DoC. (Date of Completion.) If projects aren't finished by their estimated DoC, then yes, the woman actually does have some rights here. A man should honor his word, and should keep women away from tools.

BUT,

if the women in question is capable of doing the work in question, and it doesn't involve your tools, (heh. hooray for B&BH coming back.) then it's possible she's just being lazy. You should start looking to upgrade immediately.

And, in response to the inevitable first round of questions, yes ladies, I'm single, and no, I do not sleep hanging upside down, in a pit of fire, or surrounded by my minions...

Thoughts?

the_ouskull

[delhalew]

Skull, thanks for the time warp. You sound like me 8 years ago.
The key is you are single. Most importantly no children.
I would encourage you to keep that status quo. This will allow you to remain living in a universe based in logic. Where gravity and other laws of physics still apply.

[the_ouskull]

Oh, please don't misunderstand me, good sir. I live(d) this way when I wasn't single as well. Maybe that's why I'm single. Who knows? The secret is, "Don't settle." Someone will put up with your quirks, your "guy-isms," and it may not be the person that you are with now.

Find the right one.

(Or, if you're married and truly unhappy, ask yourself... Did YOU change? If the answer's "No," then there's a new question on the table...)

..and yeah, the "no children" thing doesn't suck much. I still like to practice making them, though... l-l-l-l-l-Ladies? :D

the_ouskull

[Crucifax Autumn]

9????? It's actually every word they ever utter.

[badger]

9????? It's actually every word they ever utter.

And type!

Fine, whatever, that's OK.

;)

[yermom]

i <3 you Skull

(no homo)

[Crucifax Autumn]

And type!

Fine, whatever, that's OK.

;)

lol

Seriously though, do you actually think dudes and chicks speak the same language? I don't.

Just yesterday I discovered that my calling the wife's throwing her headphones across the room because she didn't have the right codec installed on her computer to view my download of True Blood was not "throwing a fit" about it. Apparently in womanese it was just deciding to "skip that particular episode". It took me over an hour to explain to her that all she had to do was install the codec packs I'd given her on a USB drive.

[OUthunder]

My wife says "whatever" to me an awful lot. This thread explains everything now.

[delhalew]

Oh, please don't misunderstand me, good sir. I live(d) this way when I wasn't single as well. Maybe that's why I'm single. Who knows? The secret is, "Don't settle." Someone will put up with your quirks, your "guy-isms," and it may not be the person that you are with now.

Find the right one.

(Or, if you're married and truly unhappy, ask yourself... Did YOU change? If the answer's "No," then there's a new question on the table...)

..and yeah, the "no children" thing doesn't suck much. I still like to practice making them, though... l-l-l-l-l-Ladies? :D

the_ouskull

Don't get me wrong. I couldn't even communicate my love for the kids.
The problem is, you take a guy who could conduct seminars on the art of "taking no ****", and watch him try to adjust to amount of eating **** he must do to keep from snapping the neck of his childrens mother, and you have a tragedy the great authors of a by gone age couldn't match.
At this point, I could probably get the Israelis and Palastinians to STFU and tolerate each other.
I suggest developing a drinking problem.

[badger]

Seriously though, do you actually think dudes and chicks speak the same language? I don't.

Oh, yes, we speak different languages, but after a few years you start to understand the mumbling and mannerisms a little bit more.

I think the biggest thing is not forcing battles that don't need to be fought and not calling each other out them you're wrong on something minor. Doing either of those things is the fast-track to getting sent to the couch for the evening :D

[Harry Beanbag]

i <3 you Skull

(no homo)

Sweet, he has a new signature to add now. :)

[Mjcpr]

Sweet, he has a new signature to add now. :)

It's not easy to document your underratedness.

[Harry Beanbag]

It's not easy to document your underratedness.


Too bad gdc isn't around anymore. He could do it. :)

[stoopified]

I was thinking of one nie word phrase-Fucq you and the horse you rode in on. Actually that is my favorite phrase for ending an arguement.

[MR2-Sooner86]

This thread reminds me of a comedian I went to go see with some of my friends and their dates.


Guys tonight I'm going to tell you the truth about women. You ready? It doesn't matter if it's your mom, aunt, sister, your wife, your girlfriend, the hot girl at the bar, the cute girl in class, it doesn't matter how sweet, innocent, and nice they act they're all the same. Every single woman is ****ing insane! Every single god damn one of them. Once you got this down, it's easy to figure them out.

Yeah...all the girls we were with didn't like him. One of the girls even called him out and he looked at her and said, "Being a bitch about it don't make it any less true."

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president".-ANN COULTER

[MR2-Sooner86]

"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president".-ANN COULTER

http://blog.lib.umn.edu/deg/campfire/images/ThatsSexist.gif

[Serge Ibaka]

"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president".-ANN COULTER

She only says that because she's secretly a man.

http://spooftimes.com/NewsImages/NickFun/coulter-adams-apple.jpg

[Crucifax Autumn]

I don't know if she's a man or not, but her dick is huge.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

I don't know if she's a man or not, but her dick is huge.Then, you haven't made up your mind? Beck or Coulter?(yes, it pertains to another thread)

[Crucifax Autumn]

Nah...I don't hate Coulter, I actually think she's OK even when I don't agree with her. She has a sense of humor and can actually interact with the other side reasonably well. Beck on the other hand is just a royal ******.

[yermom]

every time i see Coulter on TV i generally want to punch him

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

every time i see Coulter on TV i generally want to punch him...then, you MIGHT be a lib, haha

[delhalew]

What was the first thing women did with the right to vote? Prohibition. Punish everyone because you're such a ballbuster your husband spends night at the bar.

[the_ouskull]

It's not easy to document your underratedness.

At 30,336 and counting, I'd say it's fairly darn easy, sir.

the_ouskull

[Mjcpr]

I may be voluminous, but hardly the most underrated poster in SoonerFans.com history. Dare to dream though.

[badger]

"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president".-ANN COULTER

If you took away womens suffrage (what a fun word), you'd probably still have Democrats, but they would be aimed at the interests of those who still could vote.

Now maybe, you'd like it if the Republicans and Democrats stopped spending so much time focusing on women voters and spent more time focusing on you. I didn't know that you felt so ignored, Rush. Do you need a hug from those seeking to represent you? Just a little bit more love? Attention? The common courtesy to bombard you with endless advertisements and mailings? ;)

[oudavid1]

i <3 you Skull

(no homo)

Nice to see you guys are actually learning something from me.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

If you took away womens suffrage (what a fun word), you'd probably still have Democrats, but they would be aimed at the interests of those who still could vote.

Now maybe, you'd like it if the Republicans and Democrats stopped spending so much time focusing on women voters and spent more time focusing on you. I didn't know that you felt so ignored, Rush. Do you need a hug from those seeking to represent you? Just a little bit more love? Attention? The common courtesy to bombard you with endless advertisements and mailings? ;)and, Badger votes for...

[badger]

and, Badger votes for...

I have voted for one Democrat in my life, and since the Democrat was in Oklahoma, it wasn't like I was voting for a Democrat at all, so there :P

[Serge Ibaka]

I have voted for one Democrat in my life, and since the Democrat was in Oklahoma, it wasn't like I was voting for a Democrat at all, so there :P

Was it Clinton? He hypnotized you with his jazz-saxophoning, didn't he?

It's okay. That's how he gets all the ladies...

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

I have voted for one Democrat in my life, and since the Democrat was in Oklahoma, it wasn't like I was voting for a Democrat at all, so there :Por, so you thought at the time...

[oudivesherpa]

God, this really post really makes me feel old, when I was going to OU back in the 60's BTP (Before the Pill) the most deadly words were...
The rabbit died.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

God, this really post really makes me feel old, when I was going to OU back in the 60's BTP (Before the Pill) the most deadly words were...
The rabbit died.huh?(I'm a contemporary of yours)

[Crucifax Autumn]

So if I argue with Ann Coulter do I follow this guide or some other one about translating dude-speak?

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

So if I argue with Ann Coulter do I follow this guide or some other one about translating dude-speak?She employs a high degree of logic in her conversations and arguments.

[the_ouskull]

Was it Clinton? He hypnotized you with his jazz-saxophoning, didn't he?

It's okay. That's how he gets all the ladies...

I KNOW, right? Dreamy...

Such an underrated performer, and president.

the_ouskull

[Crucifax Autumn]

She employs a high degree of logic in her conversations and arguments.

So dude-speak then?

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

So dude-speak then?Good as any technical-female I've ever heard, except for maybe Michelle Malkin.

[Crucifax Autumn]

That must be why she annoys me less than Beck, who truly is a woman.

[oudivesherpa]

huh?(I'm a contemporary of yours)


Sorry, for being vague, but before the modern tests for pregnancy, they would inject a rabbit with the urine of a woman, if the woman was pregnant a hormone would be produced which was toxic to the rabbit…hence the rabbit died. Probably, only those over 65 would have heard of that term and only then if you sowed your wild oats and were praying for crop failure

[yermom]

or old enough to watch MASH or listen to Aerosmith...

[badger]

So anyway, getting back to the thread...

Guys, beware.

That's all. :D

Fine, nothing, that's OK, whatever

[delhalew]

So anyway, getting back to the thread...

Guys, beware.

That's all. :D

Fine, nothing, that's OK, whatever

Sorry Badge. Yesterday was misogyny day. I'm done now.:D

[yermom]

c'mon

every day is misogyny day

[delhalew]

It's 9:45 central time and a female hasn't pissed me off yet today. It's coming. I'll get back to you in a little while.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

Sorry, for being vague, but before the modern tests for pregnancy, they would inject a rabbit with the urine of a woman, if the woman was pregnant a hormone would be produced which was toxic to the rabbit…hence the rabbit died. Probably, only those over 65 would have heard of that term and only then if you sowed your wild oats and were praying for crop failureI don't even remember what law suits PETA filed on behalf of the rabbits.

[Frozen Sooner]

or old enough to watch MASH or listen to Aerosmith...

That's kind of what I was thinking.