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Okla-homey
7/2/2010, 07:55 AM
I wishes my SF pals a glorious Independence Day weekend. Take time out to reflect on the courage and conviction of our revolutionary forebears who had the sand to assert our right to establish a little social experiment that became the United States of America, the greatest force for good the world has ever known.

Flagstaffsooner
7/2/2010, 11:52 AM
This is weird.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDGVCWSUsgA&feature=related

badger
7/2/2010, 12:17 PM
It should go without saying, but...

* If fireworks are illegal where you live, do not use them (edit: unless of course all of your neighbors already are and are keeping you up at night, lol)


* Always have water on hand.


* Don’t alter or combine fireworks, or use homemade fireworks.


* Never point or throw fireworks at people.


* Don’t drink alcohol before or while shooting fireworks.


* Don’t put fireworks in pockets or shoot them off in glass or metal containers.

I stole that from this. (http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=11&articleid=20100702_11_A1_Firewo489632) Be safe, y'all.

HBick
7/2/2010, 12:29 PM
*Drink large amounts of alcoholic beverages before or while shooting fireworks. This will increase your chances of the best story for the rest of the board.


Hmm is it bad that this is what I saw when I saw badger's post?

yermom
7/2/2010, 01:31 PM
It should go without saying, but...

* If fireworks are illegal where you live, do not use them (edit: unless of course all of your neighbors already are and are keeping you up at night, lol)


* Always have water on hand.


* Don’t alter or combine fireworks, or use homemade fireworks.


* Never point or throw fireworks at people.


* Don’t drink alcohol before or while shooting fireworks.


* Don’t put fireworks in pockets or shoot them off in glass or metal containers.

I stole that from this. (http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=11&articleid=20100702_11_A1_Firewo489632) Be safe, y'all.

well aren't you the fun police :mad:

badger
7/2/2010, 01:39 PM
well aren't you the fun police :mad:

Bawwww... did you have your pockets filled with fireworks before you read this? ;)

yermom
7/2/2010, 01:45 PM
i'm pretty sure i've done at least 5/6 on your list :D

King Crimson
7/2/2010, 02:04 PM
i'm pretty sure i've done at least 5/6 on your list :D

who hasn't had roman candle fights?

sooner_born_1960
7/2/2010, 02:10 PM
* Don’t drink alcohol before or while shooting fireworks.
Unless you're shooting your fireworks from a moving vehicle.

HBick
7/2/2010, 02:21 PM
Unless you're shooting your fireworks from a moving vehicle.

+1

one ups mine

badger
7/2/2010, 02:34 PM
NP just got back to Tulsa from Baja Oklahoma yesterday and awoke to a strange noise coming from outside.

I grumbled half-asleep that it was just some illegal fireworks. I guess they haven't started that in Dallas, yet? :D

KC//CRIMSON
7/2/2010, 03:00 PM
I Love My Country–Aw, Who Am I Kidding? My Country Can Go F*** Itself
By Harvey Sands

When I look at that grand old flag, waving up there, big and proud in the breeze, my heart swells near to bursting, and a tear forms in my eye from thinking of all that it represents. Freedom. Glory. Tradition. For this land—the greatest on earth—is the land that I love, and may its song of liberty ring out from now until—what in the hell am I saying? This country and all its inhabitants can go take a flying *uck for all I care, honestly.

Sorry. That came out all wrong. Not what I meant at all. You see, loyalty to this nation is something I hold dear, just as my father did and his father before him, and all that *hit. I mean, who cannot help but be filled with pride to think of our humble beginnings, knowing that we grew into the greatest democracy the world has ever known, even if the Browns couldn't win a game to save their lives and you can't get one moment of peace with all the noise these goddamn neighbors of mine are always making? You know, thinking of this nation's past stirs something deep inside me.

Yeah. Real *ucking deep.

What's so great about this place anyway? I hate my job, I'm still in debt for a dishwasher I bought six years ago, and I haven't had sex since the last Olympics. Land of the fricking free, huh? I spend an arm and a leg at the garage and my car still breaks down every other week. I started balding when I was 25, and no matter how cool it is, I sweat like a pig if I so much as stand up too fast. That doesn't exactly sound like a City upon a Hill to me—what about you, huh? And at the end of the day, after all this aggravation and grief, what's my big reward? I get to stare at something called Grey's Anatomy that my wife just *ucking loves so *ucking much.

Never mind that my youngest kid's got lice again.

All right, all right. I'm getting off track here. Sometimes I can get excited, but the fact is that this is the best country in the world. No matter what they say, it's the truth. Ever since I was a schoolboy growing up in a small farming town, I've had a profound sense of honor and duty and belonging deep in my soul. Why, it seems like just yesterday that I'd doff my cap, place my hand on my heart, and recite those famous words: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of Jesus *ucking Christ.

Screw America. Does America give a *hit about my daughter's dickhead boyfriend who smells like bacon fat and hair spray and probably has crabs? Hell no, it doesn't. Does America care that a *ucking battalion of squirrels is chewing through the walls of my attic and nothing can seem to stop them, not BB guns or rat poison? Nope. All America cares about is putting coffee stains on my best shirt, losing my ATM card, and giving me a defective cell phone that never gets voice mails until three days later and you have to lean out the living-room window to get rid of this stupid *ucking popping sound.

I'm sorry. I'm probably just tired. In the mornings, I get these headaches like you wouldn't believe.

Just think about the Statue of Liberty and what an enduring symbol of freedom and hope it is to the rest of the world. That's what a good American thinks of, right? Not that *hit-headed little brat who was poking me in the back as we waited to get on the ferry? No. Not that, or what *ssholes everyone in New York was. Or how long we had to wait at LaGuardia just to get our asses back to Cleveland where it was snowing like a mother*ucker.

Because, as I was saying, patriotism is my lifeblood. My very essence. Red-blooded American patriotism. For America. America the beautiful. O beautiful, for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain, like Ray Charles ever saw amber f*ucking anything. Amber waves of nimrods trying to cut in front of me at the supermarket, maybe. Yes, in the words of Francis Scott Key: "Aw, who gives a crap?" And, of course, the purple mountains' majesty, though the last time I was in the mountains was when I visited my pain-in-the-*ss sister and her clammy-handed husband and it was the worst weekend of my life.

I love America. I do! And when the proud eagle soars above all of creation, I get a lump in my throat, and everything like that. So *uck this. You know what I'm saying—democracy, loyalty, values. Et cetera, et cetera. You get it. You know the drill.

KABOOKIE
7/2/2010, 03:16 PM
America is awesome. Sounds like your life is ****ed up. :D

Flagstaffsooner
7/2/2010, 03:17 PM
who hasn't had roman candle fights?
At Hooter Bridge.:D

KC//CRIMSON
7/2/2010, 03:19 PM
America is awesome. Sounds like your life is ****ed up. :D

Leave me the *uck alone! I'm fighting a *ucking battalion of squirrels, mother*ucker!!!

Flagstaffsooner
7/2/2010, 03:26 PM
Best 4th of July music evar. Crank it up!

obama be damned
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znEePD1nJxo

diegosooner
7/2/2010, 03:35 PM
never shoot fireworks out of your a$$hole.
33PnwYpXgf8

SunnySooner
7/2/2010, 04:24 PM
Happy Birthday to Us!! Y'all have a good one!!

I still have a scar on my belly from a Roman candle fight. Damn thing backfired. OUCH. Then my auntie, like a good Okie, put butter on it.:D

Kids today, with the Neosporin and the ouch-less Band-Aids...WUSSIES!!!

For your listening pleasure, the best rendition of our National Anthem, by the combined choirs of the service academies for the Super Bowl, gives me chills!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ETrr-XHBjE&fmt=18

Flagstaffsooner
7/2/2010, 10:46 PM
We are citizens not subjects.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/02/AR2010070205525.html

delhalew
7/3/2010, 10:33 AM
I Love My Country–Aw, Who Am I Kidding? My Country Can Go F*** Itself
By Harvey Sands

When I look at that grand old flag, waving up there, big and proud in the breeze, my heart swells near to bursting, and a tear forms in my eye from thinking of all that it represents. Freedom. Glory. Tradition. For this land—the greatest on earth—is the land that I love, and may its song of liberty ring out from now until—what in the hell am I saying? This country and all its inhabitants can go take a flying *uck for all I care, honestly.

Sorry. That came out all wrong. Not what I meant at all. You see, loyalty to this nation is something I hold dear, just as my father did and his father before him, and all that *hit. I mean, who cannot help but be filled with pride to think of our humble beginnings, knowing that we grew into the greatest democracy the world has ever known, even if the Browns couldn't win a game to save their lives and you can't get one moment of peace with all the noise these goddamn neighbors of mine are always making? You know, thinking of this nation's past stirs something deep inside me.

Yeah. Real *ucking deep.

What's so great about this place anyway? I hate my job, I'm still in debt for a dishwasher I bought six years ago, and I haven't had sex since the last Olympics. Land of the fricking free, huh? I spend an arm and a leg at the garage and my car still breaks down every other week. I started balding when I was 25, and no matter how cool it is, I sweat like a pig if I so much as stand up too fast. That doesn't exactly sound like a City upon a Hill to me—what about you, huh? And at the end of the day, after all this aggravation and grief, what's my big reward? I get to stare at something called Grey's Anatomy that my wife just *ucking loves so *ucking much.

Never mind that my youngest kid's got lice again.

All right, all right. I'm getting off track here. Sometimes I can get excited, but the fact is that this is the best country in the world. No matter what they say, it's the truth. Ever since I was a schoolboy growing up in a small farming town, I've had a profound sense of honor and duty and belonging deep in my soul. Why, it seems like just yesterday that I'd doff my cap, place my hand on my heart, and recite those famous words: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of Jesus *ucking Christ.

Screw America. Does America give a *hit about my daughter's dickhead boyfriend who smells like bacon fat and hair spray and probably has crabs? Hell no, it doesn't. Does America care that a *ucking battalion of squirrels is chewing through the walls of my attic and nothing can seem to stop them, not BB guns or rat poison? Nope. All America cares about is putting coffee stains on my best shirt, losing my ATM card, and giving me a defective cell phone that never gets voice mails until three days later and you have to lean out the living-room window to get rid of this stupid *ucking popping sound.

I'm sorry. I'm probably just tired. In the mornings, I get these headaches like you wouldn't believe.

Just think about the Statue of Liberty and what an enduring symbol of freedom and hope it is to the rest of the world. That's what a good American thinks of, right? Not that *hit-headed little brat who was poking me in the back as we waited to get on the ferry? No. Not that, or what *ssholes everyone in New York was. Or how long we had to wait at LaGuardia just to get our asses back to Cleveland where it was snowing like a mother*ucker.

Because, as I was saying, patriotism is my lifeblood. My very essence. Red-blooded American patriotism. For America. America the beautiful. O beautiful, for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain, like Ray Charles ever saw amber f*ucking anything. Amber waves of nimrods trying to cut in front of me at the supermarket, maybe. Yes, in the words of Francis Scott Key: "Aw, who gives a crap?" And, of course, the purple mountains' majesty, though the last time I was in the mountains was when I visited my pain-in-the-*ss sister and her clammy-handed husband and it was the worst weekend of my life.

I love America. I do! And when the proud eagle soars above all of creation, I get a lump in my throat, and everything like that. So *uck this. You know what I'm saying—democracy, loyalty, values. Et cetera, et cetera. You get it. You know the drill.

This guy should have the misfortune of being born elsewhere so he can have some real problems...maybe just stay here and wait a little bit. Then he'll know how ****ing fortunate he was.

delhalew
7/3/2010, 10:37 AM
We are citizens not subjects.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/02/AR2010070205525.html

That's pretty fascinating.

XingTheRubicon
7/3/2010, 10:51 AM
This guy should have the misfortune of being born elsewhere so he can have some real problems...maybe just stay here and wait a little bit. Then he'll know how ****ing fortunate he was.

Some people were just born to bitch. We are the wealthiest most fortunate group of people in the history of earth. For those of you who love their country, Happy 4th. For those who live here and resent the greatest country in the history of earth...go crawl in dark corner and practice holding your breath.

StoopTroup
7/3/2010, 01:21 PM
Badger...you better go through NP's pockets.

picasso
7/3/2010, 01:44 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b1-TE7hhKw