Well folks...

[Okla-homey]

headed back to Souse Cackalackey for a wedding. Niece. She was in our wedding 28 years ago, in utero --her mom was a pregnant bridesmaid.

Leaving Wednesday after work. Anyhoo, this thing is over the top. I fear, bordering on tacky. The ceremony is on "The Horseshoe" at USC, which is the 18th century USC equivalent of the South Oval at OU - she's a Carolina alumna.

The reception is at some mansion on the Congaree River. Here's the especially potentially tacky part. She has twelve (12) bridesmaids. PRINCESS DIANA DID NOT HAVE TWELVE BRIDESMAIDS AND SHE WAS MARRYING THE FLIPPIN' PRINCE OF WALES FORCRYINGOUTLOUD!

Her explanation is they are all her sorority sisters and she was in most of their weddings, therefore she owed them this. Personally, I bet they would not GAS if she hadn't asked them to wear a goofy dress they'll never wear again and stand up amid the gnats and skeeters while she get's hitched.

I'm advised she's stressing because the twelve groomsmen -- do not ask me how a guy ropes 12 men into being in a wedding - want to choose which bridesmaid with which they'll be paired for the walk to the altar. Brother.

I told her to assign each bridesmaid a number and have the guys draw numbers out of a hat. Like a lottery.

Anyway, wish me luck. I plan on staying drunk from this Friday until these wedding shenanigans are over.

[SoonerInKCMO]

I could never marry that woman - I don't even know 12 guys.

[Okla-homey]

I could never marry that woman - I don't even know 12 guys.

No sh#t. What do you do? Call guys you went to third grade with and say, "Hey man, long time no see. Remember me? Yeah, third grade. I need a favor. Would you wear a tuxedo and be in my wedding in a couple months...click....hello? You still there?"

[Viking Kitten]

God, I hate weddings. I hate showers, I hate rehearsal dinners, I hate the morning after brunch, I wish the whole frigging tradition would just go away.

I am going to offer my daughter a cash down payment on house instead of some big stupid wedding. That's assuming she waits til she's 30 to get married. I've already told both my children I will not contribute one dime to any weddings until they hit that mark. I refuse to finance a beta marriage.

Just call me a hopeless romantic I guess.

[SoonerInKCMO]

I hate showers.

Yeah, not news. :texan:

[Viking Kitten]

Post reported.

[sooneron]

heh

[Leroy Lizard]

I could never marry that woman - I don't even know 12 guys.

Solution: Illegal aliens.

Total cost: $120

[Leroy Lizard]

God, I hate weddings. I hate showers, I hate rehearsal dinners, I hate the morning after brunch, I wish the whole frigging tradition would just go away.

I solved that problem by being so obnoxious that no one wants me at their wedding.

[sooneron]

Ya don't say?

[Viking Kitten]

See what you started, Homey? Weddings make people cranky.

[royalfan5]

I'm pretty sure I don't like more than 10 people.

[Okla-homey]

See what you started, Homey? Weddings make people cranky.

I attribute the contemporary over-the-top wedding pomposity and wretched excess to the "wedding industrial complex's" marketing efforts that have convinced young women if they don't do it BIG, they are losers.

This young woman is 27 years old. IOW, she's old enough to know better.

Don't get me started on what kids nowadays spend on proms either.

[Viking Kitten]

Dude... don't get ME started on proms. I work with a guy who was bitching to me about how he spent the equivalent of about half of his monthly take home pay on his step daughter's prom crap. I asked him why in the hell he didn't just tell her "no way, we can't afford all that?" He said he tried, but his wife overruled him. Made me want to barf. I can't stand the spoiled little sh*ts people have raised and their nauseating sense of entitlement.

[TUSooner]

My sister just married a good ole Oklahoma cowboy/horseman. In the living room of a house by Lake Texoma. A few folks, a few simple vows, and voila, Huband and Wife. They're now down here in La Nouvelle Orleans partying a bit with her kinfolk who couldn't make it up for the wedding (that'd be me and my family). Big weddings are way overrated. WAYYYYYYYYYY overrated. Save the money and the effort for the MARRIAGE. Just my $.02.

[TUSooner]

I solved that problem by being so obnoxious that no one wants me at their wedding.

Including any of your prospective brides, methinks.

:D

[BudSooner]

Take her to a tittay bar, get her wasted, remove her top and then tell guys that are there anyone who wants to fondle her hooblers will have to take part in the wedding.

Problelm solved. :D

[Leroy Lizard]

Including any of your prospective brides, methinks.

:D

Fortunately, I found one that was willing.

Or, was it unfortunate?

[olevetonahill]

Fortunately, I found one that was willing.

Or, was it unfortunate?

That depends on if yer talking about YOU or Her :eek:

[NormanPride]

Indian weddings have thousands of attendees. If you do not deliver the invitations by hand, the people will not show. People not showing is like people not showing for your RRS watch party. Their weddings cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.

qwitcherbitchin'

[JohnnyMack]

Destination weddings. That's the way to do it. If you're gonna blow money then do it someplace you like and it'll make sure only the people you really like and that really like you will show up.

[StoopTroup]

I plan on staying drunk from this Friday until these wedding shenanigans are over.

I not sure I've ever seen you sober. :D ;)

[StoopTroup]

Fortunately, I found one that was willing.

Or, was it unfortunate?

Every squirrel is bound to get a nut eventually.

[StoopTroup]

That depends on if yer talking about YOU or Him :eek:

And that probably depends on which State says it's legal to do that kinda ****.

[olevetonahill]

And that probably depends on which State says it's legal to do that kinda ****.

My bad :O

[stoopified]

That depends on if yer talking about YOU or Her :eek:Bingo

[Leroy Lizard]

Probably a little bit of both.

[olevetonahill]

Probably a little bit of both.

So yer saying yer BI?
NTTAWWT

[StoopTroup]

:D

[olevetonahill]

Whut?????? :D

[SoonerInKCMO]

Indian weddings have thousands of attendees. If you do not deliver the invitations by hand, the people will not show. People not showing is like people not showing for your RRS watch party. Their weddings cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.

qwitcherbitchin'

'Merika >> India

[StoopTroup]

Huh?

[olevetonahill]

Huh?

He said
'Merika >> India

[StoopTroup]

Is India the 51st State? I gave up on Puerto Rico. They weren't smart enough to take us up on what the Messicans are trying to steal. :D