Thoughts or Opinions, Please...

[SunnySooner]

The way it's looking as of now, my family and I will be moving right as school is about to start. Like we may be in the house less than a week when it does. My girl is supposed to start kindergarten this year, but this will be the first move that she is old enough to care about, and she's not all that great with change. The state we're moving to, Virginia, allows parents to wait a year if they feel their kid's not ready to start school yet. She's had 2 years of Pre-K, I think she's fine on the academics, less sure about the emotional part--she's a mama's girl and doesn't like to be separated from me unless she knows the person she's staying with really well.

Anyone here either started or held back their kid, and either liked or regretted it? Anyone been held back, and been a year older than the other kids? Was it a big deal or meh? She's very petite, so it's not like she'd be a lot bigger or anything.

Any input would be greatly appreciated, I'd hate for her to have a rough start to school, but I don't want to hold her back to her detriment. Ugh, this parent crap is hard!!!:eek:

[sooner_born_1960]

I'd send her to kindergarten. She has to overcome the emotional attachment issues sooner or later. Might as well get that out of the way.

[Jello Biafra]

The way it's looking as of now, my family and I will be moving right as school is about to start. Like we may be in the house less than a week when it does. My girl is supposed to start kindergarten this year, but this will be the first move that she is old enough to care about, and she's not all that great with change. The state we're moving to, Virginia, allows parents to wait a year if they feel their kid's not ready to start school yet. She's had 2 years of Pre-K, I think she's fine on the academics, less sure about the emotional part--she's a mama's girl and doesn't like to be separated from me unless she knows the person she's staying with really well.

Anyone here either started or held back their kid, and either liked or regretted it? Anyone been held back, and been a year older than the other kids? Was it a big deal or meh? She's very petite, so it's not like she'd be a lot bigger or anything

Any input would be greatly appreciated, I'd hate for her to have a rough start to school, but I don't want to hold her back to her detriment. Ugh, this parent crap is hard!!!:eek:

sorry. can't help in the girlie department but i can tell you, the west side of the city has developed a trend in the last couple of years. (piedmont, yukon, el reno, mustang) in which they hold back the boys (specifically) a second year in kindergarten. some parents claim thier kids aren't really ready for the big boy stuff yet but oddly enough, dang near every kid that i know that was held back was either in football or wrestling.... the kids don't seem to have an emotional issue with it.

My advice would be to get her involved in a local sports club. soccer, tball, football something...see what developes between her and the other kids. even at that age, peer pressure can take over....sleepovers start happening trips to the mall with another set of parents etc. usually the base you are at will have those types of activities. after a few months of running around with the other kids, she may actually ASK you to go to kindie garten.

[StoopTroup]

My Son was born on Sept 3rd. He was either two days maybe three from being able to start school and had to wait an entire year. One year isn't a big deal and I think having him wait the additional year allowed us to concentrate a bit more on his sister that year. She had a really hard time that year. I guess things seem to just work out for the best as they both are doing very well in school now.

You can always hold them back a year but if you do...doing it at the Kindergarten level would be much better IMO than say fifth grade. If you have any concerns developmentally you should go with your heart IMO too as I know some folks might tell you there are experts who could advise you...but who knows your daughter better than you? Now...if you were some crackhead Mom who just wanted to get her kid into school ASAP so you could unload your kid on someone else...I'd say you should be forced to Home School your Kid so hopefully you'd finally get taught up to a small childs level and then the two or you could become a dynamic Crackho Duo....but with you...I know that's not the case. You're a great Mom who's dealt with stuff many of us haven't had to deal with. I'd say if her Daddy was gonna be State side soon....why not keep her out a year and let the two of them make up for some lost time as well as lost Family Time. School will be ready for her next year.

She'll be fine with two good parents like you Sunny.

Just my 2 cents...

ST

[Jello Biafra]

My Son was born on Sept 3rd. He was either two days maybe three from being able to start school and had to wait an entire year. One year isn't a big deal and I think having him wait the additional year allowed us to concentrate a bit more on his sister that year. She had a really hard time that year. I guess things seem to just work out for the best as they both are doing very well in school now.

You can always hold them back a year but if you do...doing it at the Kindergarten level would be much better IMO than say fifth grade. If you have any concerns developmentally you should go with your heart IMO too as I know some folks might tell you there are experts who could advise you...but who knows your daughter better than you? Now...if you were some crackhead Mom who just wanted to get her kid into school ASAP so you could unload your kid on someone else...I'd say you should be forced to Home School your Kid so hopefully you'd finally get taught up to a small childs level and then the two or you could become a dynamic Crackho Duo....but with you...I know that's not the case. You're a great Mom who's dealt with stuff many of us haven't had to deal with. I'd say if her Daddy was gonna be State side soon....why not keep her out a year and let the two of them make up for some lost time as well as lost Family Time. School will be ready for her next year.

She'll be fine with two good parents like you Sunny.

Just my 2 cents...

ST

yup...like troup said...its not like you cant teach her the stuff that they are going over in kindergarten...coloring, doing sight words, manners etc...its not like they are teaching them code breaking or anything. stuff she will surely be smart enough to pick up next year.

[SunnySooner]

lol, JB, I guess we could leave off with the caculus, huh? And I would prolly try to find a few-days-a-week preschool at a church or something to keep her on track.

And ST, you're right, that would give them more time together, I hadn't even thought of it that way. See, that's why I ask y'all this stuff, yer like insightful and wise and junk. ;)

I'm prolly leaning more toward keeping her out. She'll be moving from the only house she remembers, to an area she's never been, after just getting her daddy back after a 13 month absence, to start school a few days later without knowing a single kid. That is kind of a lot to ask of a 5 year old.

[KantoSooner]

If you do, make sure you push reading and other academic stuff at home as well as in the pre-school. The kids are like sponges at that age and then slow down as social interaction picks up.
My daughter moved between Japanese school and American school a couple of times early on and it's been a struggle to recapture the early momentum. (not that it's a tragedy or anything, she's 18 now and the light of my life...but learning to read was much harder the third time we started on it.)

[C&CDean]

Here's the deal on this. Figure out how old she's gonna be when she graduates high school. Unless I misread your first post, you've already held her back a year (2 years of pre-K?). If she's going to be 18 when she graduates, no problem holding her back. If she's gonna be 19-20 then that is all kinds of jacked up.

All of my kids graduated at 17 - except the youngest who is 17 now and is a junior in high school. He got held out a full year due to getting hit by a car when he was in first grade (6 years old) and spending the time in Children's and Jim Thorpe. He's on track to graduate at 18.

My biggest beef with parents who have held their kids back for "maturing" is that it creates a seriously unfair situation in athletics. When my kids were freshmen or sophomores they were 14-15 years old. Oftentimes they'd be playing football against 18-19 year olds. Hell, it was boys vs. men. My boys barely had fuzz on their nutsacks and those other dudes were shaving and crap.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I remember playing Vian in the 8th grade, and they had a 220 lb running back with a beard...

Anyhow, Sunny, you would be surprised about how resiliant your girl is....I know to adults that may seem like a lot, but to a kid her age, she probably wouldnt have any problem adjusting.....and being female just helps her as well..most of the kids that need that extra early year is boys...

Honest question...how much of this issue is about her comfort and how much of it is about whether your ready? how much is her emotional attachment and how much is your emotional attachment..Im sure while your husband has been gone, you have grown quite attached to your little one...

Don't throw a shoe at me :).......And if it is her emotional attachment, 1960 is right....if you don't deal with it early, it just wont go away for the sake of it going away

[achiro]

Here's the deal on this. Figure out how old she's gonna be when she graduates high school. Unless I misread your first post, you've already held her back a year (2 years of pre-K?). If she's going to be 18 when she graduates, no problem holding her back. If she's gonna be 19-20 then that is all kinds of jacked up.

All of my kids graduated at 17 - except the youngest who is 17 now and is a junior in high school. He got held out a full year due to getting hit by a car when he was in first grade (6 years old) and spending the time in Children's and Jim Thorpe. He's on track to graduate at 18.

My biggest beef with parents who have held their kids back for "maturing" is that it creates a seriously unfair situation in athletics. When my kids were freshmen or sophomores they were 14-15 years old. Oftentimes they'd be playing football against 18-19 year olds. Hell, it was boys vs. men. My boys barely had fuzz on their nutsacks and those other dudes were shaving and crap.

and yet again, Dean and I agree. The emotional stuff you mention is all about mama. Kids have cried when getting dropped off(and moms on the drive home) for their first day of school since the cavemen did it. Getting her in school will give here friends right off the bat in the new place. That's a good thing.

[Ike]

and yet again, Dean and I agree. The emotional stuff you mention is all about mama. Kids have cried when getting dropped off(and moms on the drive home) for their first day of school since the cavemen did it. Getting her in school will give here friends right off the bat in the new place. That's a good thing.

I tend to agree with this. As you mentioned earlier Sunny, it is a lot to ask a 5 year old to deal with. But kids are remarkably capable of dealing with a lot more than we often give them credit for. And having friends other than mom and dad always helps.

[NormanPride]

I remember playing Vian in the 8th grade, and they had a 220 lb running back with a beard...

Anyhow, Sunny, you would be surprised about how resiliant your girl is....I know to adults that may seem like a lot, but to a kid her age, she probably wouldnt have any problem adjusting.....and being female just helps her as well..most of the kids that need that extra early year is boys...

Honest question...how much of this issue is about her comfort and how much of it is about whether your ready? how much is her emotional attachment and how much is your emotional attachment..Im sure while your husband has been gone, you have grown quite attached to your little one...

Don't throw a shoe at me :).......And if it is her emotional attachment, 1960 is right....if you don't deal with it early, it just wont go away for the sake of it going away

Word. She'll be fine, she's a kid.

[SunnySooner]

Dean, she did 3 and 4 yr. old Pre-K, so if she starts this year, she'll graduate at 18, if I hold her out, it'll be 19, which I agree is weird. The sports thing with boys is really popular, I'm running into that with my son as he plays sports, some big frickin kids out there. Luckily, he has an Oct. birthday, so he's one of the oldest kids anyway.

STEP, I hear ya, and there may be something to it. She was my little 2 pounder miracle baby that we thought we'd never have. But when the plan was for us to move around Christmas, I had not thought to keep her out, she'd be at the school her brother's been at, is familiar, etc. And it's nice how the house stays clean all day with no kids in it. ;) I guess since I've seen how crazy fast it's all going to happen with the move and the beginning of school, I've been a little worried, and then when I was looking for good schools, I saw the rule, and here we are.

[OU_Sooners75]

Send her to school. Do not wait. She will be fine and she will get used to going to school and she will make lots of friends.

If you make her wait another year, you are only empowering her to continue to get attached to you when she does not want to do something.

[Stitch Face]

TRIAL. BY. FIRE!

Unless you're gonna homeschool her.

[OU_Sooners75]

BTW, I had to hold my son back in the 1st grade. I should have done it in Kindi garten, but didnt.

He missed way too much school in kindergarten that he really did affect him. I should have listened to the teacher then. I went ahead and moved him up to first grade instead of holding him back.

He struggled that year. I did not fret over the decision I made for my son. He just had to take the first grade twice. He is doing good at school now!

But your problem seems to be attachment issues. I personally would not leave her out this coming year. I would make her go. She may be scared and all, but she will end up having fun.

My daughter was the same way just 2 years ago. She was attached to me and her mom. We made her go and she loved it by the end of the first week! Kids may be attached to mom and dad, but they warm up to new kids their age pretty quickly...and since your daughter has had 2 years of pre-K I wouldnt worry about it too much!

[Leroy Lizard]

The way it's looking as of now, my family and I will be moving right as school is about to start. Like we may be in the house less than a week when it does. My girl is supposed to start kindergarten this year, but this will be the first move that she is old enough to care about, and she's not all that great with change. The state we're moving to, Virginia, allows parents to wait a year if they feel their kid's not ready to start school yet. She's had 2 years of Pre-K, I think she's fine on the academics, less sure about the emotional part--she's a mama's girl and doesn't like to be separated from me unless she knows the person she's staying with really well.

Anyone here either started or held back their kid, and either liked or regretted it? Anyone been held back, and been a year older than the other kids? Was it a big deal or meh? She's very petite, so it's not like she'd be a lot bigger or anything.

Any input would be greatly appreciated, I'd hate for her to have a rough start to school, but I don't want to hold her back to her detriment. Ugh, this parent crap is hard!!!:eek:

By the way you worded your query, it appears that you want to hold her out and are looking for support.

You're the mother. Use your instincts. If you really feel that holding her out is necessary and won't hurt her progress, then do it.

[OU_Sooners75]

By the way you worded your query, it appears that you want to hold her out and are looking for support.

You're the mother. Use your instincts. If you really feel that holding her out is necessary and won't hurt her progress, then do it.


That is what you got from her post?

Hmmmm...maybe you over analyze things!

[Leroy Lizard]

What difference does it make? I think she knows what she wants to do but is worried about doing it. If I misstated her aim, then she can simply ignore my advice.

[OU_Sooners75]

What difference does it make? I think she knows what she wants to do but is worried about doing it. If I misstated her aim, then she can simply ignore my advice.


Testy today?

I thought your advise was actually pretty solid....just thought you over analyzed what she actually stated in her post.

Don't go getting your panties in a bunch just yet. The day is really only starting!

[badger]

Since she's already started school, don't let her con you into giving her a year off to bug you around the house.

Kindergarten is an important place to start in a new area. Most kids are meeting new kids their age for the first time. Kids who have to move to a new area for later grades just don't have the same connection with their classes, it seems.

Plus, it's kindergarten. She'll be finger painting, singing songs, playing on the jungle gym and learning how to count all 77 of OU's points versus A&M (or 100, if Stoops so chooses this season). It's not overwhelming activities that we're talking about here.

No reason to hold her out. Take the kiddo to kindergarten.

[SunnySooner]

The problem is that I can see it both ways!

Like a lot of y'all, I grew up in BFE, OK, and graduated with almost everyone I started Kindergarten with. Because of the navy, we've drug our kids from one corner of the map to the other, so I just feel like I have no points of reference to make decisions like this. I know it's hard on kids to move them a lot, so if there's a way to make it easier, I want to do that, but maybe I just worry too much.:O

[Stitch Face]

What kind of sick mother would drug her kids?!

[stoops the eternal pimp]

STEP, I hear ya, and there may be something to it. She was my little 2 pounder miracle baby that we thought we'd never have. But when the plan was for us to move around Christmas, I had not thought to keep her out, she'd be at the school her brother's been at, is familiar, etc. And it's nice how the house stays clean all day with no kids in it. ;) I guess since I've seen how crazy fast it's all going to happen with the move and the beginning of school, I've been a little worried, and then when I was looking for good schools, I saw the rule, and here we are.

Cool..I honestly cant tell you what the right move, but to me, if its more of a issue on if your ready vs. if she is ready, you might want to consider sending her..I would just imagine she is smart enough and strong willed enough to do it.

My daughter started kindergarten this last year and she is the youngest kid in her class...my wife would every once in a while go to the school to volunteer and do different things just to check in and make sure she liked what she saw going on...and its reaped huge dividends for my daughter..Even though we read and do different things with her, an experienced good teacher knows exactly how to pull things out of a kid that parents cant...

You could assist the teacher some or keep in contact with her teacher on a regular basis, you would be able to make sure that she is being well taken care of and progressing...

Sunny, your life has had a lot of changes and things to deal with and I'll keep you in my prayers as you make decisions

[StoopTroup]

As far as the "Down the Road she'll be 19 or 20 deal....

If she does well in school and she gets to 11th or 12th grade and has some college courses under her belt and maybe wants to travel the last year or two and get a GED...she can take the ACT and the SAT and get those scores build a non-traditional resume and get into College somewhere and not worry about any of that BS that our current educational system says she needs to be rounded. I never went to my HS Prom. I didn't know anyone there and the last semester of HS I didn't even attend classes. I went to summer school took two classes that weren't offered at my school....went back over to the office and forced them to give me my HS Diploma and started College Classes in the Fall just as any of the other kids did or didn't do.

Whoever thinks you need to play by a fixed set of rules has their head up their *** IMO.

She'll do better in life following her heart than someone else's rules IMO. Don't worry about what might happen 14 years from now. Worry about right here and now. You don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. Family is number one....school and their rules aren't even in my top five.

The "OMG if I make a wrong decision right now...she'll be ruined for life" line of thinking isn't my cup of tea. I prefer to reason it out...make a decision and deal with any problems down the road as the rules can always change and the climate may not be the same either by that time. The Pubs might even have banned all books except the Bible and the Holy War will be over and the Muslims will all be in conversion camps by then. :D ;)

[Leroy Lizard]

Testy today?

Why do you think my response was testy? I just simply responded to your point.

[Stitch Face]

Why do you think my response was testy? I just simply responded to your point.

Dude, settle down! JUST BACK OFF, MAN! BACK OFF!!!

[Pricetag]

If when the move was scheduled for December, you were willing to start her, then you should go ahead and start her. The move during the school year would have been more traumatic than starting out in a new place after the move, IMO.

My oldest son has an August birthday, and my wife and I discussed whether to start him at five or wait a year, and we started him. He was ready, and would have been bored to tears in kindergarten as a six-year-old. Your kid has two years of pre school under her belt already--unless you have reservations about her progress, I'm guessing she is ready to go.

[StoopTroup]

I'd put her right in School though if the Hubby was going to be at Home during the day to help you around the House if you know what I mean. :D

[C&CDean]

The problem is that I can see it both ways!

Like a lot of y'all, I grew up in BFE, OK, and graduated with almost everyone I started Kindergarten with. Because of the navy, we've drug our kids from one corner of the map to the other, so I just feel like I have no points of reference to make decisions like this. I know it's hard on kids to move them a lot, so if there's a way to make it easier, I want to do that, but maybe I just worry too much.:O

I was a military brat. So were/are a lot of folks. Overall, the best adjusted adults I know were military brats. Parents put way too much emphasis on "oooh, it's gonna hurt little Sally if she has to leave her friends." I can't tell you the number of people I've known and worked with over the years who turned down great job offers because they couldn't pull their kid out of X school and tear them away from their friends. Idiots. Kids make new friends. And yes, you're worrying too much. Move, put her in school, and start prepping yourself for the teenage years. You're gonna wish you only had this simple problem to worry about...:(

[StoopTroup]

I was a military brat. So were/are a lot of folks. Overall, the best adjusted adults I know were military brats. Parents put way too much emphasis on "oooh, it's gonna hurt little Sally if she has to leave her friends." I can't tell you the number of people I've known and worked with over the years who turned down great job offers because they couldn't pull their kid out of X school and tear them away from their friends. Idiots. Kids make new friends. And yes, you're worrying too much. Move, put her in school, and start prepping yourself for the teenage years. You're gonna wish you only had this simple problem to worry about...:(

:D ;)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/9/16401458_694683a4d6.jpg?v=0

[StoopTroup]

Dean...

Is this yours? :D

http://www.uniquedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/military-baby-stroller.jpg

[C&CDean]

WTF is it?

[BillyBall]

My birthday is in late August and my parents held me back. I really didn't mind and I kicked *** in sports.

[TUSooner]

I say send her. She'll be fine. Let her know you are confident that she's perfectly able to do whatever she needs or wants to do. If you hold her back, you'll never be able to make up the time.

My free advice is worth every penny, and it comes with a money-back guarantee.

PS- As a kid I also moved a few times when my dad was in the Navy. I was pretty much a mama's-boy wuss as a kid, but even I managed to handle it. And as a result, I'm now so manly that Dean seeks my advice on how to maintain his macho persona.

[Stitch Face]

I turned five the day before kindergarten so I was always the youngest wimpiest kid in class.

But look who's laughin now, beyonces!!! HA HA HA HA AH

[StoopTroup]

WTF is it?

Military Brat Stroller with Bacardi 151 proof ad on the side?

[TUSooner]

http://www.uniquedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/military-baby-stroller.jpg


WTF is it?

It's a combat stroller!

[Jello Biafra]

I was a military brat. So were/are a lot of folks. Overall, the best adjusted adults I know were military brats. Parents put way too much emphasis on "oooh, it's gonna hurt little Sally if she has to leave her friends." I can't tell you the number of people I've known and worked with over the years who turned down great job offers because they couldn't pull their kid out of X school and tear them away from their friends. Idiots. Kids make new friends. And yes, you're worrying too much. Move, put her in school, and start prepping yourself for the teenage years. You're gonna wish you only had this simple problem to worry about...:(

agree with deano....some of the best adjusted kids i ever saw (of course they never had to go home with me lol) were the brats...i actually had to seriously kick around the subject of getting out of the army or trying to continue my career at one point. luckily, the test was a false-positive ;) or a flase-neagtive...or what ever dude....you know what i mean...the chick wasnt prego....

I decided i would get out if that were the case...personal choice. if he wants to continue the career, he will have to pcs which means the chitlins WILL have to move every few years.

[badger]

I was a military brat. So were/are a lot of folks. Overall, the best adjusted adults I know were military brats. Parents put way too much emphasis on "oooh, it's gonna hurt little Sally if she has to leave her friends." I can't tell you the number of people I've known and worked with over the years who turned down great job offers because they couldn't pull their kid out of X school and tear them away from their friends. Idiots. Kids make new friends. And yes, you're worrying too much. Move, put her in school, and start prepping yourself for the teenage years. You're gonna wish you only had this simple problem to worry about...:(

Moves can definitely benefit some kids. Some kids at our school got transferred by their parents because they were mixing with the wrong crowd, grades sucked, etc. A fresh start was great for them.

Toward the end, some kids getting their GEDs at local community programs was also a blessing, because they weren't around their friends to goof off and end up flunking mandatory-for-graduation classes.

So yeah definitely Dean, transferring kids out of their comfort zone isn't always a bad thing. From experience, though, I definitely enjoyed graduating with my original class. My brother didn't, but that was good for him too, because his class was definitely the worst class our school had seen in years (ask any teacher or parent). Their senior prank landed the lot in jail. They were so dumb that they triggered the elementary fire alarm while they were doing it as a distraction... hmmm, think the police noticed the high school prank in the works as they drove by to check on the elementary school, hmm?

[GottaHavePride]

I'd say send her to school. If she's having attachment issues, spending a year off from school (as in, isolated from other children) when she has been attending pre-K already will just reinforce the attachment, not help fix it.

Side question... when did pre-K come into fashion? I never went to pre-K and I turned out OK. And by OK I mean "makes friends easily and entered college as a sophomore with 45 credit-hours".

[Leroy Lizard]

Side question... when did pre-K come into fashion? I never went to pre-K and I turned out OK. And by OK I mean "makes friends easily and entered college as a sophomore with 45 credit-hours".

It's huge in Oklahoma. In fact, pre-K is a model program for other states.

[Collier11]

The way it's looking as of now, my family and I will be moving right as school is about to start. Like we may be in the house less than a week when it does. My girl is supposed to start kindergarten this year, but this will be the first move that she is old enough to care about, and she's not all that great with change. The state we're moving to, Virginia, allows parents to wait a year if they feel their kid's not ready to start school yet. She's had 2 years of Pre-K, I think she's fine on the academics, less sure about the emotional part--she's a mama's girl and doesn't like to be separated from me unless she knows the person she's staying with really well.

Anyone here either started or held back their kid, and either liked or regretted it? Anyone been held back, and been a year older than the other kids? Was it a big deal or meh? She's very petite, so it's not like she'd be a lot bigger or anything.

Any input would be greatly appreciated, I'd hate for her to have a rough start to school, but I don't want to hold her back to her detriment. Ugh, this parent crap is hard!!!:eek:


I'd send her to kindergarten. She has to overcome the emotional attachment issues sooner or later. Might as well get that out of the way.


Id go with this ^ Sunny. Unless she is struggling with the work, she will be fine. All kids have different emotional issues growing up, unfortunately thats part of growing up. When my parents got divorced I was in 8th grade and even though there was nothing in the town we were living in anymore for me or my mom, I was miserable for weeks cus I loved my friends so much. It ended up being a much better thing, it will just take time

[Collier11]

In the end though, you know what is good for her so just trust your heart and trust your instinct

[TUSooner]

It's huge in Oklahoma. In fact, pre-K is a model program for other states.

They didn't have "pre-K" in Oklahoma when I was 3 or 4, but they had old Mrs. Ridgeway's nursery school, where I learned some important stuff.

[badger]

It's huge in Oklahoma. In fact, pre-K is a model program for other states.

This program is really, really important to the governor, because while we may rank near the bottom of the pack in many education-related things (like teacher pay and funding per-pupil), we rank at the top in pre-K education.

The day they wanted to cut funding to it, I almost thought Brad was gonna cry.

[SanJoaquinSooner]

It makes a bigger difference for males. being the youngest instead of the oldest in one's cohort can have an impact socially well into middle age.

For females, the youngest vs oldest issue doesn't ordinarily extend past puberty.

[Leroy Lizard]

They didn't have "pre-K" in Oklahoma when I was 3 or 4, but they had old Mrs. Ridgeway's nursery school, where I learned some important stuff.

Did it stop there?

:D

[A Sooner in Texas]

From one mom to another, Sunny...if she's academically on target, I'd put her in kindergarten this year. Kindergarten is really pretty crucial now in getting kids started on reading, writing and even math, thanks to tougher standards every year. You certainly don't want her starting out behind the other kids, even at that early age.
And I think all 5-year-olds are pretty emotionally attached to Mommy. My younger son, always the most laid-back, friendly child - he truly was a perfect baby; every parent should have one so easy - pitched an unbelievable fit his first day of kindergarten, trying to hide behind me, holding on for dear life, screaming and crying. But it was just that first day...smooth sailing from then on.
Have you started talking to her about it to get a feel for how she'll deal with it?

[SunnySooner]

Lessee...LL...IDK when pre K became such a big deal, my 11 yr. old did 2 yrs. of preschool, so it's been a little while, I guess. My girl has also had 2 yrs, but this last year was paid for by the great state of Florida, yeehoo. They have a voucher program for the 4 yr. olds, and as long as the academic requirements meet state standards, it's OK if it's run by a church or whatever, as my daughter's was. For both kids, they were 2 or 3 day programs, not full-on regular school hours, but a great intro, especially that 4 yr. old year. It stems from testing requirements...kindergartners these days need to know more than their ABC's and 1 to 10's.

And A Sooner in...(God bless you, ;)), yes we've talked, she "helps" me look for houses, she knows she'll be going to a school different than the one she's been to, it's more just I'm not sure how much is really sinking in. But, she's handled the whole dad disappearance thing really well, we'll just have to see how she does with his reappearance, the move, blah, blah...I don't know...it's good to know at least there are options, and when the time comes, I'll figure it out.

And thanks everyone for all the input, lots to think about. Did I mention this parent crap was hard?

[Turd_Ferguson]

Wish my momma woulda cared about that stuff. She just sent me down the driveway cry'n and yelled "stop cry'n and get yer *** on the bus!!"...with a benson & hedges hang'n from her bottom lip.

[Soonerus]

I labored over a similar decision when my daughter was starting school, could not figure out the right answer...then a very wise teacher told me I could go either way but by far the the most important thing was my daughter had parents who loved her enough to struggle with such a decision...makes sense to me...

[Soonerus]

post script: my daughter will start her 3rd year of law school next year..

[stoopified]

sorry. can't help in the girlie department but i can tell you, the west side of the city has developed a trend in the last couple of years. (piedmont, yukon, el reno, mustang) in which they hold back the boys (specifically) a second year in kindergarten. some parents claim thier kids aren't really ready for the big boy stuff yet but oddly enough, dang near every kid that i know that was held back was either in football or wrestling.... the kids don't seem to have an emotional issue with it.

My advice would be to get her involved in a local sports club. soccer, tball, football something...see what developes between her and the other kids. even at that age, peer pressure can take over....sleepovers start happening trips to the mall with another set of parents etc. usually the base you are at will have those types of activities. after a few months of running around with the other kids, she may actually ASK you to go to kindie garten.You gotta problem with redshirtin a kid? :)

[TUSooner]

Did it stop there?

:D

Yeh, and I even forgot most of that. :(

[Okla-homey]

Over her twelve years of primary and secondary schooling, our daughter, an AF brat, went to eight (8) different schools. She professes today, if you ask her, that experience made her a more resilient, confident and well-adjusted adult.

That's just my two cents. Your mileage may vary.

IMHO, if your child is prepared to do first grade work, her hiney should be in first grade. Kids aren't like tender young plants. Keeping them in a greenhouse does NOT help ensure they'll thrive when finally planted outside.

It's actually generally the opposite. Babying kids too long after they're weaned tends to make them weak and whiney for life. Barring of course, any diagnosed mental or physical condition for which sustained babying is indicated.

[Soonrboy]

My boy turned 5 in the middle of August. His preschool teacher told us that he would do fine with the academics, but was too shy. She asked us why we were in such a hurry to get him through school. We kept him out another year and never, ever regretted it. He'll be the first in his class to drive, which he thinks is cool now that he is 15.

[Leroy Lizard]

Yeh, and I even forgot most of that. :(

There's help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO8x8eoU3L4