Missouri is one signature away from stopping the motorboat!

[KC//CRIMSON]

Matt Bartle scores victory against titties! No more lap-dances. :-(

http://blogs.pitch.com/plog/nonudity.jpg

Puritanical Missouri state Sen. Matt Bartle finally struck his death blow against the state's nudie bars yesterday.

After Bartle, a Lee's Summit Republican, threw a tantrum earlier this week in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch ("I've grown really frustrated with an overwhelming Republican Legislature that tells people we support family values and that we're social conservatives. And we can't get a regulation of the porn industry through the Legislature"), lawmakers rose up against lap dances.

Hey, there are elections coming up! May I suggest a "Tough on Titties" campaign slogan?

Bartle's bill, S.B. 586, passed the Senate 27-4 and the House 118-28 on Thursday. Now it goes to Gov. Jay Nixon, who will probably sign it to prove he's, you know, hard. Hard on porn.

If Nixon signs, the law will :

outlaw full nudity in strip clubs.
require a 6-foot buffer between strippers and customers. Touching won't be allowed. No word if nuns will patrol clubs to make sure everyone's leaving room for Jesus.
shut down adult entertainment businesses between midnight and 6 a.m.
outlaw liquor sales at strip clubs as well as drinking on the premises. So no BYOB clubs.

create a 1,000-foot buffer zone between adult businesses and schools, churches, day cares, libraries, parks, homes and other adult businesses.

"Most human beings understand that if you mix alcohol and women dancing in the nude, that's a tough combo," Bartle told The Kansas City Star. "Bad things happen."

Only if you've been shamed into thinking boners are bad. Hey, another slogan!

Bartle may have a point though. Just look at the debauchery.

bM-0S6CMVqc

Don't expect the clubs to take this lying down. A lawsuit is coming.

It's been a tough week on titties, tit bongos and now this. Oh the mammaries!

[Crucifax Autumn]

What a bunch of dooshes!

[NormanPride]

Meh.

[C&CDean]

Double meh.

If you've gotta go to a titty bar to have a female touch you you're a #1 loser of the highest magnitude. If you've ever copped wood at a titty bar, same thing. If you regularly go to these joints? x2 on the loser scale.

In all honesty, I have no idea how these joints stay open. No wait, yes I do. The world is full of ****ing losers.

[KC//CRIMSON]

What Dean is trying to say is that legislating morality is a great idea!

[Crucifax Autumn]

True, but why not let those losers do what they want? I'm pretty sure granny pantywad in Missouri isn't gonna have to give up her bingo night or her social security check just because there's a titty bar filled with drunk idiots popping wood over a lap dance.

I'm just glad everything is so perfect in misery that this dude didn't have any better cause to champion than hiding tits.

[My Opinion Matters]

Dean just hates tits, man.

[Crucifax Autumn]

What Dean is trying to say is that legislating morality is a great idea!

Why not? We all know that the social conservative crowd is in FULL agreement with that other group that hates tits.

What are they called again? Oh yeah...Islamic fundamentalists. It seems to be working great for them after all!

[tommieharris91]

I'm surprised none of free market guys here haven't shown up yet.

[MR2-Sooner86]

In all honesty, I have no idea how these joints stay open.

I've been to strip clubs four times they were for either 21st birthday parties or bachelor parties. I'd say that's a nice big chunk of business.

Anyway, this law is the stupidest ****ing law ever. Yup, the economy is ****, immigration laws are being battled, healthcare is being turned upside down, but lets go after strip clubs which have been around forever and nobody really cares about. YEAH! :rolleyes:

[Crucifax Autumn]

There's one next door to the baptist church a block from here. Neither the worshippers nor the tittays seem to be suffering any.

[Leroy Lizard]

Double meh.

If you've gotta go to a titty bar to have a female touch you you're a #1 loser of the highest magnitude. If you've ever copped wood at a titty bar, same thing. If you regularly go to these joints? x2 on the loser scale.

In all honesty, I have no idea how these joints stay open. No wait, yes I do. The world is full of ****ing losers.

I think most men pretend to have a better time in them then they really do.


I'm just glad everything is so perfect in misery that this dude didn't have any better cause to champion than hiding tits.

Everyone has their cause. For example, some spend all their trying to legalize a plant. He probably thinks he was elected to take care of the social problems that bug his constituents.

[NormanPride]

Oh, I don't think it's right, but I don't really care that much.

[Crucifax Autumn]

My cause is to let adults enjoy themselves when they aren't hurting anyone else. If that means getting a lap dance from a tatted up tramp, then keep it legal. If that means smoking a joint and watching cartoons, then make it legal.

[Leroy Lizard]

Why not? We all know that the social conservative crowd is in FULL agreement with that other group that hates tits.

What are they called again? Oh yeah...Islamic fundamentalists. It seems to be working great for them after all!

Equating social conservatives with Islamic fundamentalists is a bit much.

[Crucifax Autumn]

Not really, they both seem to hate the human body.

[Leroy Lizard]

If we hated the human body, we wouldn't be getting married at all.

[GottaHavePride]

Why not? We all know that the social conservative crowd is in FULL agreement with that other group that hates tits.

What are they called again? Oh yeah...Islamic fundamentalists. It seems to be working great for them after all!


I thought you were going to go for the gay joke.

[Crucifax Autumn]

I could easily combine mine with a gay joke based on the actions of both Islamic fundamentalists and American social conservatives.

And Leroy...Doing it in the dark, under the covers, door locked in the missionary position doesn't count.

[Leroy Lizard]

Try it sometime.

[Crucifax Autumn]

Just don't put it in the butt right?

[Leroy Lizard]

You think about sodomy far too much.

[Harry Beanbag]

I love boobs and heterosexual sodomy.

[Crucifax Autumn]

You think about sodomy far too much.

That's my first mention. It was collier wanting to put it in your butt before.

[Leroy Lizard]

That's my first mention. It was collier wanting to put it in your butt before.


Uhhh, then you guys need to work this about between you. (Slowly backs away.)

[goingoneight]

I'm not real wild on hearing about high school dropouts making a shat ton of money for having no dignity... but I'm not going to shut 'em down. Trouble is human nature... If these pervs don't have a disease-ridden ho to grind on 'em... they'll take their lonely azzes to other places to cause trouble. Next thing you know... all bars and clubs (more specifically, their female guests) have a bit more troublemakers to deal with. Wow... we really solved that problem. More like swept it under the rug to mold and rot.

[C&CDean]

What Dean is trying to say is that legislating morality is a great idea!

Yeah, that's what I said alright. Of course only a titty-bar sugar daddy would get that outta what I said.

What cracks me up is some of our students here. They come from all over the country, and the first three things they wanna do are: 1. Go to the mall. 2. Go to Walmart. 3. Go to Suger's.

That right there oughta tell you something about the titty-bar boys.

And FWIW, I ain't got any issue at all with titty bars or hookers from a legal standpoint. I mean hell, a girl's gotta eat and all. I just think the guys who utilize their services are sexually-stunted cretins who can't get laid by a normal chick. And the guys who drag their old ladies along are double losers.

[Crucifax Autumn]

What about guys who get dragged along by their old ladies?

[C&CDean]

You mean future syphillitics?

[Crucifax Autumn]

them too.

[Leroy Lizard]

And FWIW, I ain't got any issue at all with titty bars or hookers from a legal standpoint. I mean hell, a girl's gotta eat and all.

True, but they don't have to do that to eat.

[Crucifax Autumn]

Have you met these ignorant sluts? It probably is all they can do.

[C&CDean]

No they don't, but it's their coochie.

[Breadburner]

Just don't put it in the butt right?

You could have just said....J.D.P.I.I.T.B......:D

[Crucifax Autumn]

I wanted to make sure Leroy would understand.

[Leroy Lizard]

Understanding and expertise are not the same thing.

[royalfan5]

So much for being the Show Me State.

[goingoneight]

So much for being the Show Me State.

Post of the Year candidate? :D

[bluedogok]

Equating social conservatives with Islamic fundamentalists is a bit much.
It depends on how "socially conservative" they are, Sally Kern and her husband the Baptist preacher could be a charter members of the American Christian version of the Taliban.

[Leroy Lizard]

She's that violent? All I can say is, "Wow!"

[Okla-homey]

Hmmmm. This could represent a business opportunity for all those small tribes crammed up in the NE corner of Oklahoma nearest Missouri.

[JohnnyMack]

If you wanna go to a strip club, go to a strip club.

If you don't wanna go to a strip club, don't go to a strip club.

Just please don't legislate my morality.

[MR2-Sooner86]

If you wanna go to a strip club, go to a strip club.

If you don't wanna go to a strip club, don't go to a strip club.

Just please don't legislate my morality.

This.

[Leroy Lizard]

If you wanna go to a strip club, go to a strip club.

If you don't wanna go to a strip club, don't go to a strip club.

Just please don't legislate my morality.

The community decides democratically what it wants to be like. If it wants to portray a cleaner image by banning certain businesses, it should have the right to do so.

Using your logic: If you wanna go to a strip club, go to a strip club somewhere else. We don't have to provide one for you.

[tommieharris91]

The community decides democratically what it wants to be like. If it wants to portray a cleaner image by banning certain businesses, it should have the right to do so.

Using your logic: If you wanna go to a strip club, go to a strip club somewhere else. We don't have to provide one for you.

Just don't ever call yourself a free-market capitalist again if you're gonna take this stance, k?

[Leroy Lizard]

Just don't ever call yourself a free-market capitalist again if you're gonna take this stance, k?

If I have to take the stance that no business practice can ever be regulated to be called a free market capitalist, then I guess I'm not a free market capitalist. I don't think anyone is for that matter.

For example, I oppose hand gun sales to minors. I guess I'm not a free market capitalist.

I oppose the unregulated sales of dangerous drugs. I guess I'm not a free market capitalist.

[JohnnyMack]

The community decides democratically what it wants to be like. If it wants to portray a cleaner image by banning certain businesses, it should have the right to do so.

Using your logic: If you wanna go to a strip club, go to a strip club somewhere else. We don't have to provide one for you.

You're missing the point. Use your noodle, read it again and maybe you'll figure it out.

[KC//CRIMSON]

Hmmmm. This could represent a business opportunity....


In-home stripping business. $$$$$$

[OUMallen]

Double meh.

If you've gotta go to a titty bar to have a female touch you you're a #1 loser of the highest magnitude. If you've ever copped wood at a titty bar, same thing. If you regularly go to these joints? x2 on the loser scale.

In all honesty, I have no idea how these joints stay open. No wait, yes I do. The world is full of ****ing losers.

Dean. Man. I just want to give you a hug sometimes. One could google "curmudgeon" and I think all your posts would show up.

[Leroy Lizard]

You're missing the point. Use your noodle, read it again and maybe you'll figure it out.

Don't be so lame. If you have a counterpoint, offer it. Otherwise, just admit defeat and jump into another thread.

[KC//CRIMSON]

The community decides democratically what it wants to be like.


Your definition of community must be different than mine. The bill was created by and voted on by a 45 year old virgin and a room full of old men, not the community.

[OU_Sooners75]

The community decides democratically what it wants to be like. If it wants to portray a cleaner image by banning certain businesses, it should have the right to do so.

Using your logic: If you wanna go to a strip club, go to a strip club somewhere else. We don't have to provide one for you.


So you are telling me the populace of Missouri voted on it? Or was it just passed by legislature and signed by a governor without the people voting on it?

[Leroy Lizard]

Your definition of community must be different than mine. The bill was created by and voted on by a 45 year old virgin and a room full of old men, not the community.

So representative democracy got by you.

[KC//CRIMSON]

So representative democracy got by you.


So basic reading comprehension got by you.

[Collier11]

What Dean is trying to say is that legislating morality is a great idea!


Its all fun n games until those crazy conservatives start telling Dean he cant have booze at tailgates cus it is the debil. Cus really, you are watching football, why do you need booze? It only causes more problems when mixed with testosterone

[Collier11]

and for the record, I dont go to strip clubs. Ive been to a strip club 5 times or less in my 28 years, but im like everyone else. There is no reason for these ppl to force the removal of these businesses simply cus they dont like it, they pose no harm to the general public

[JohnnyMack]

Don't be so lame. If you have a counterpoint, offer it. Otherwise, just admit defeat and jump into another thread.

The point of the article wasn't whether or not a community should or shouldn't be allowed to decide where a strip club could be located. Of course a community can have general zoning standards.

I think you missed the point of the OP entirely. At least I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time.

[Okla-homey]

There is a significant segment of the male population who will never see a reasonably attractive adult female naked except at a strip bar.

And those guys typically have jobs. Therefore, there will always be reasonably attractive females willing to take their clothes off and shake their tailfeathers for said employed males who will pay for the privilege.

And frankly, IDGAS, and the Missouri legislature shouldn't either.

That's all I got to say about that.

[Leroy Lizard]

The point of the article wasn't whether or not a community should or shouldn't be allowed to decide where a strip club could be located. Of course a community can have general zoning standards.

I was offering a counterpoint to someone else's point that used the "live and let live" philosophy. This argument is very much about letting communities decide for themselves the image they want to project.

[Leroy Lizard]

There is a significant segment of the male population who will never see a reasonably attractive adult female naked except at a strip bar.

And those guys typically have jobs. Therefore, there will always be reasonably attractive females willing to take their clothes off and shake their tailfeathers for said employed males who will pay for the privilege.

Yeah, we already kinda' know that.

[Jacie]

I was offering a counterpoint to someone else's point that used the "live and let live" philosophy. This argument is very much about letting communities decide for themselves the image they want to project.

In this instance, the "community" is an entire state and the law had nothing to do with zoning or offsets. The state will probably be barred from enforcing this law once it gets to the courts and so all they've done is further enrich a few lawyers that don't require anymore enriching, while denying a source of income to a whole lot of other people who do.

[JohnnyMack]

In this instance, the "community" is an entire state and the law had nothing to do with zoning or offsets. The state will probably be barred from enforcing this law once it gets to the courts and so all they've done is further enrich a few lawyers that don't require anymore enriching, while denying a source of income to a whole lot of other people who do.

You'll have to forgive ol' Leroy. Apparently at some point he was part of a neighborhood coalition that banned cars on lawns or loud music or something similar and now he's the self-appointed expert on community activism......even when it has nothing to do with what the point of the thread was.

[MR2-Sooner86]

If Nixon signs, the law will :


outlaw full nudity in strip clubs
Most bars are topless so no big deal.

require a 6-foot buffer between strippers and customers
Nail in the coffin.

shut down adult entertainment businesses between midnight and 6 a.m.
Not bad but it's going to really cut into their business.

outlaw liquor sales at strip clubs as well as drinking on the premises
Guys usually don't go to a strip club for the high quality of alcohol.

create a 1,000-foot buffer zone between adult businesses and schools, churches, day cares, libraries, parks, homes and other adult businessesFinal nail in the coffin.
Why didn't the just ban strip clubs? Sounds to me that's what they really want to do.


"Most human beings understand that if you mix alcohol and women dancing in the nude, that's a tough combo," Bartle told The Kansas City Star. "Bad things happen."
This is why they have big bouncers walking around. For instance last night at the bachelor party this guy had somebody come up to him and throw up on him. He threw right back up on them. What happened? The bouncers came over and threw them both out. I think it's pretty well known that you don't cause **** at a strip club or you'll get thrown out before you can blink.

[Leroy Lizard]

In this instance, the "community" is an entire state and the law had nothing to do with zoning or offsets. The state will probably be barred from enforcing this law once it gets to the courts and so all they've done is further enrich a few lawyers that don't require anymore enriching, while denying a source of income to a whole lot of other people who do.

That may well be true, but that is another argument entirely.

I'm not sure why a state would not be allowed to ban nude dancing, but there are some pretty strange interpretations of the Constitution out there.

[Leroy Lizard]

You'll have to forgive ol' Leroy. Apparently at some point he was part of a neighborhood coalition that banned cars on lawns or loud music or something similar and now he's the self-appointed expert on community activism......even when it has nothing to do with what the point of the thread was.

We are all self-appointed experts in here. You'll just have to deal with it just like I have to deal with your nonsense.

[Leroy Lizard]

Why didn't the just ban strip clubs? Sounds to me that's what they really want to do.


This is why they have big bouncers walking around. For instance last night at the bachelor party this guy had somebody come up to him and throw up on him. He threw right back up on them. What happened? The bouncers came over and threw them both out.

To what? Fight outside? Oh yeah, great solution. (Frankly, I would rather have them fight inside.)

[olevetonahill]

To what? Fight outside? Oh yeah, great solution. (Frankly, I would rather have them fight inside.)

You've said alot of dumb stuff ll , But i think this is the Dumbest :rolleyes:

[Crucifax Autumn]

Nah..I think he's been WAY more dumb. heh.

[Leroy Lizard]

You've said alot of dumb stuff ll , But i think this is the Dumbest :rolleyes:

You would rather have them fighting outside in public? I wouldn't. The bar created the problem; let the bar contain it.

[olevetonahill]

You would rather have them fighting outside in public? I wouldn't. The bar created the problem; let the bar contain it.

Even dumber, Yer the one who brought up the fighting :pop:

[Leroy Lizard]

Even dumber, Yer the one who brought up the fighting :pop:

No, MR2 did. And the problem with violence inside the bar was quoted in the original story.



"Most human beings understand that if you mix alcohol and women dancing in the nude, that's a tough combo," Bartle told The Kansas City Star. "Bad things happen."

This is why they have big bouncers walking around. For instance last night at the bachelor party this guy had somebody come up to him and throw up on him. He threw right back up on them. What happened? The bouncers came over and threw them both out. I think it's pretty well known that you don't cause **** at a strip club or you'll get thrown out before you can blink.


Learn to read.

[olevetonahill]

No, MR2 did. And the problem with violence inside the bar was quoted in the original story.




Learn to read.

Heres what MR2 said

"Most human beings understand that if you mix alcohol and women dancing in the nude, that's a tough combo," Bartle told The Kansas City Star. "Bad things happen."

This is why they have big bouncers walking around. For instance last night at the bachelor party this guy had somebody come up to him and throw up on him. He threw right back up on them. What happened? The bouncers came over and threw them both out. I think it's pretty well known that you don't cause **** at a strip club or you'll get thrown out before you can blink.

Only YOU could get fighting from some one Puking

I agree SOMEONE needs to learn to read or at least get some comprehension.:rolleyes:

[Leroy Lizard]

Heres what MR2 said

Only YOU could get fighting from some one Puking

Mr. Naive, what do you think is going to happen next?

Well, maybe in your neck of the woods you just allow someone to puke on you with no repercussions. Okay, you're a Sis. We get it.

[olevetonahill]

Mr. Naive, what do you think is going to happen next?

Well, maybe in your neck of the woods you just allow someone to puke on you with no repercussions. Okay, you're a Sis. We get it.

Zackley what happened The dude puked on him right back.
Been my experience if ya puking ya aint got the Guts to fight :D :D :D :D

[Leroy Lizard]

Zackley what happened The dude puked on him right back.
Been my experience if ya puking ya aint got the Guts to fight :D :D :D :D

Sounds like you have a lot of experience in pukin' and not fighting'. :D

[olevetonahill]

Sounds like you have a lot of experience in pukin' and not fighting'. :D

You got me. Aint ever been in a fight in my life .

[Leroy Lizard]

With that, I suggest we end the juvenile pissing match.

[JohnnyMack]

I'll take olevet in the first round. Odds have olevet set as the favorite at 2/5. Any takers?

[Leroy Lizard]

And with that, the pissing match begins anew.

[Collier11]

but you are starting as the heavy underdog after a 1st rd knockdown, what adjustments will you make?

[Leroy Lizard]

Ha! I can dish out insults with anyone in here.

[Collier11]

yea but your insults dont carry alot of weight since most everyone knows you are FOS :D

[olevetonahill]

Like I said LL ya make about as much ****ing sense as an undrilled bowling ball

[Leroy Lizard]

I just hope you were better at your military desk job than you are at cracking insults.

[Collier11]

Still dont think ive ever heard an actual insult out of you LL, mostly its just you hearing yourself talk, impressing yourself more or less

[Leroy Lizard]

I think my odds are improving steadily.

[Collier11]

cant go wrong in that conversation

[Curly Bill]

Why not? We all know that the social conservative crowd is in FULL agreement with that other group that hates tits.

I'm pretty high on the conservative meter, and I think gentleman's clubs rule! :D

[Harry Beanbag]

I just hope you were better at your military desk job than you are at cracking insults.

Desk job? Wow.

[Crucifax Autumn]

Yeah, that was pretty stupid and uninformed. I hope LL says this kinds shat to veterans in person. And I hope someone films it and puts it on youtube.

[Leroy Lizard]

Yeah, that was pretty stupid and uninformed. I hope LL says this kinds shat to veterans in person. And I hope someone films it and puts it on youtube.

He kinda' asked for it.

But in all seriousness, I was only joshing him. Let's put this thread to rest.

[Crucifax Autumn]

But then we have to abandon the titties!

[Leroy Lizard]

There are no pics. So what will you really miss?

[Crucifax Autumn]

I'm juvenile enough to enjoy just talking about them.

[Leroy Lizard]

Well... there's always Penthouse Letters.

[OULenexaman]

I can't even think of any Titty bars in Lees Summit, MO......which makes this guys bill even more silly.....

[Leroy Lizard]

Oh, well if there are no such establishments in *Lee's Summit*, then why bother?!?!

[OU_Sooners75]

Liztard...you say put this thread to rest, yet you cannot let the last word go to another poster.

Stop posting in it if you want it to go away.

[Collier11]

Hey Leroy, does 10lbs of flour make a really big biscuit? :D

[Jello Biafra]

I just hope you were better at your military desk job than you are at cracking insults.

holy shiite vet! he called you a fuggin REMF...need some help?

[olevetonahill]

holy shiite vet! he called you a fuggin REMF...need some help?

Naw , I just consider the source bro :cool:

[Leroy Lizard]

holy shiite vet! he called you a fuggin REMF...need some help?

Ha! Like what can you really do about it?

Besides, I already said I was just joking.

[Jello Biafra]

Besides, I already said I was just joking.

lol youd be suprised. you never know where someone might work or do for a living.

[Leroy Lizard]

lol youd be suprised. you never know where someone might work or do for a living.

Since we've now resorted to threats, maybe it's time to close the thread.

[KC//CRIMSON]

Don't let this be ANOTHER place closing down on titties.

[olevetonahill]

Since we've now resorted to threats, maybe it's time to close the thread.

CK is that you ?

Where is da threat ?:rolleyes:

[Leroy Lizard]

Don't let this be ANOTHER place closing down on titties.

Good one.

[GKeeper316]

Double meh.

If you've gotta go to a titty bar to have a female touch you you're a #1 loser of the highest magnitude. If you've ever copped wood at a titty bar, same thing. If you regularly go to these joints? x2 on the loser scale.

In all honesty, I have no idea how these joints stay open. No wait, yes I do. The world is full of ****ing losers.

It isn't your place to decide what other people are entertained by. Nor is it your place to condemn people for it.

Judge not or some **** like that.