RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!
5/4/2010, 08:01 PM
I got this email from a friend who is considering a move to Mexico:
Dear Mr. President:
I'm planning to move my family and extended family into
Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply walk across the border from the
U.S. Into Mexico , and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas,
Passports, immigration quotas and laws.
I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do
Here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my Way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the Following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all
Services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by
English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on
American culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one
Of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both
Breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can
Get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I
Don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special
Effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not
Get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every Patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer..
11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put U
S. Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not
Want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying
Any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican
People to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, Or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay
Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays
$4,500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into
The Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in
Retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do
All these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. From Mexico I am
Sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him
Nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind help. You're the man!!!
Dear Mr. President:
I'm planning to move my family and extended family into
Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply walk across the border from the
U.S. Into Mexico , and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas,
Passports, immigration quotas and laws.
I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do
Here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my Way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the Following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all
Services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by
English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on
American culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one
Of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both
Breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can
Get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I
Don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special
Effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not
Get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every Patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer..
11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put U
S. Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not
Want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying
Any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican
People to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, Or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay
Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays
$4,500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into
The Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in
Retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do
All these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. From Mexico I am
Sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him
Nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind help. You're the man!!!