Jason Whitlock....

[OU_Sooners75]

...has too many fat rolls on his brain to think clearly.







I know this is just a wannabe sports writer...but lets have some fun at his expense.

[Jello Biafra]

scratches his beans and asks if it "smells bad"

[SoonerLB]

..... has road apples for breakfast when he can find them.

[SoonerInFla]

Who is Jason Whitlock?

[goingoneight]

... needs a boomerang to put on his belt.

[XingTheRubicon]

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=140855

[Jello Biafra]

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=140855

you missed it xing....jump in, the waters fine.

[OU_Sooners75]

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=140855


Yeah, we all have read that thread. Thanks for sticking with this one.

;)

[Jello Biafra]

back to the point....


uses ANUSOL as toothpaste

[TahoeSOONER]

...wishes Sam would throw him a ham bone to gnaw on.

[TahoeSOONER]

...is a hater who can't keep a real sport journalist job.

[Jello Biafra]

walked into a bar with a 3 foot salami under one arm and a poodle under the other.....

[TahoeSOONER]

...implied that Sam was on steroids to cover up the massive amount of excuses for his own fat @ss.

[Jello Biafra]

takes showers in bacon grease and lathers up with sausage patties.

[OU_Sooners75]

has his own orbit. That is not a ball, that is a small planet circling him!

[TahoeSOONER]

is so fat that god couldn't light the earth until he moved.

[Jello Biafra]

has his own orbit. That is not a ball, that is a small planet circling him!

i thought it was a mole!

[TahoeSOONER]

....is so fat that if you put a firecracker up his *** and it exploded, it would feed kids in KC for years.

[OU_Sooners75]

is so fat that god couldn't light the earth until he moved.

So there are three eclipses huh? Lunar, Solar and Whitlock!:eek:

[Jello Biafra]

wants his shot at the sumo world title...

[milesl]

Here is the email that I sent to Jason Whitlock after the column he wrote that Stoops was scared to play the Tigers and mad that Pinkel got Daniels and Maclin instead of Stoops (dated Dec. 3, 2007). I am actually a fan of Whitlock, but he was so off on this one. His column is under my email.
[John Davis]

Jason
You and the rest of KC Star sports writers need to take off those rose colored glasses and stomp on them. Chase Daniels and the Tiger imploded against the Sooners in the 4th quarter last year and this year in the regular season. At the Big 12 championship tonight they imploded in the 3rd quarter. Pinkel and Daniels big lie has been exposed - it wasn't the Sooner's Defense, it was our silly mistakes.

As far as Stoops being hot because he missed out on Daniels and Maclin, well lets look at the stats shall we Jason ? Oklahoma's Patrick - 88 yards and 1 touchdown and Brown with 71 yards and 2 touchdowns. Missouri's Maclin 40 yards and Temple 26 yards and neither one made a touchdown. Now let's look at Missouri's Heisman quality quarterback against Oklahoma's freshman quarterback. Daniels threw one interception and no touchdowns, while the freshman threw 2 touchdowns and no interceptions.

Right now I am watching the Stoops press conference and he is making the pitch after beating the number 1 Tigers and dominating Daniels that the Sooners should be going to the National Championship and Bradford should be considered for the Heisman. Mr. Whitlock I think you should be making the same call in your next column.

A big fan of your
John

Posted on Fri, Nov. 30, 2007
Stoops and the Sooners sound scared
By JASON WHITLOCK
The Kansas City Star

Make sure you send Bob Stoops and the Oklahoma Sooners a thank-you note when this is over.

The arrogant, two-loss underachievers think they’re doing the Missouri Tigers a favor tonight by granting Chase Daniel and Co. a rematch.

When Stoops is right, I’m with him. Last year, incompetent, unethical officiating cost him a game at Oregon. He was right to complain, and I showed my support by disregarding the loss every time I filled out my AP top-25 vote.

But this week, Stoops and his coaching staff have gone overboard, sarcastically dismissing the notion that the Tigers took themselves out of the first Missouri-Oklahoma showdown with four turnovers.

Brent Venables, OU’s defensive coordinator, said he hopes the Sooners “luck” into another victory in tonight’s Big 12 Championship. Friday, at the pregame news conference, Stoops once again seemed perturbed when questioned about Missouri giving the game away.

“It’s just whatever perspective you want to take,” he said. “I mean, you can look at it different ways. The first interception we got the blitz on, pressure them. The ball goes right down the middle. Our guy makes a great cut right in front of the guy, intercepts the ball. Is that good defense or did they just give it to us? I don’t know.

“Their running back (Jeremy) Maclin, receiver, fabulous player, they run a quick sweep and they’re going to throw the ball. Most people suck up. Makes for a great highlight if we’re out of position and get fooled. But we stay in position, we’re over the top of them, underneath the receiver and intercept the ball. Is that good defense, good reaction or is that them giving it to us? Depends on how you want to write your article.

“So in the end, it doesn’t really matter. We had two turnovers, too. They take the lead in the fourth quarter when we drop a kickoff return. We fumble the ball and give them the ball in the short field. So we made our share of mistakes, as well. It’s just how you want to tell your story. That’s up to you to do.”

Well, here’s how I want to tell the story: Stoops and the Sooners are scared.

He’s the best coach in this league, and really had little competition for that honor. Mack Brown is a great recruiter and motivator. Stoops can outcoach Brown with his clipboard and headset tied behind his back. Texas is annoying, but Stoops can handle the Longhorns when there’s no Vince Young to contend with.

Nebraska’s program is in disarray. Bill Snyder retired, and the Wildcats are backing up. Texas A&M never seems to reach its full potential, and there’s no reason to believe Mike Sherman is going to change that. Kansas can win 11 games for the next 10 years and Stoops will never view the Jayhawks and Mark Mangino as threats. Stoops trained Mangino. Teachers rarely fear their pupils, and football teachers damn sure don’t fear a pupil stuck at a basketball school.

Mike Leach is a nut. He and Texas Tech are pesky, but they’ll never overthrow the king.

My point is Gary Pinkel and the Missouri Tigers are very, very dangerous. Pinkel went into Texas and stole Daniel, the Big 12’s best player. Daniel’s success, in my opinion, is more a slap at Stoops than Mack Brown.

Brown isn’t clever enough to see the potential in a Chase Daniel. Brown is a star-struck recruiter. He has Jeremy Crabtree and Rivals on speed dial. Stoops and his staff should’ve been all over Daniel.

And don’t think Stoops isn’t hot watching tape of Maclin. He was supposed to be a Sooner until Pinkel sweet-talked him into wearing black and gold.

Pinkel and Stoops, Oklahoma and Missouri are budding rivals. Stoops and Pinkel have similar aggressive coaching philosophies. They like trick plays. They’ll go for it on fourth down. They’re stubborn and cocky. They’re from Ohio.

Is Pinkel the equal of Stoops? No. Not yet anyway. If the Tigers win tonight and win the BCS title game, Pinkel will own just as many national titles as Stoops.

Stoops wants to put Pinkel and Missouri back in their place tonight, back where everyone else in the Big 12 is — looking up at Stoops and the Sooners. Stoops feels as if he’s already done it once this season, when the Sooners slapped Missouri by 10.

But sportswriters and the Missouri players believe the Tigers took themselves out of the first game with turnovers. No one believes, as far as I know, that Missouri should’ve won the first game. The belief is the teams are equal and Missouri didn’t give itself a chance to win.

I’ll admit that I’m wrong if the Sooners whip the Tigers tonight. I hope Stoops will acknowledge his error if the Tigers beat the Sooners.

[Jello Biafra]

and he responded with.....?



*crickets chirping* (i'm assuming)

[OU_Sooners75]

miles, what exactly does this have to do with this thread?

[Collier11]

you missed it xing....jump in, the waters fine.

he it trolling today, leave him be :D

[goingoneight]

... had the prestigious honor of Weird Al writing a song about him called "Fat."

[Collier11]

won an Oscar for his role in Precious

[OU_Sooners75]

won an Oscar for his role in Precious
:eek:

[Jello Biafra]

roflmao


didn't he win one for "the color purple" as well?

[Collier11]

thinks that we still havent had our 1st black president

[Jello Biafra]

thinks Leroy Lizard is a wise old bird.

[goingoneight]

... will start the first "Fire Willie Martinez" thread.

[gaylordfan1]

won an Oscar for his role in Precious

^My FAVORITE^

[stoopified]

Needs to get laid.That will bring clarity of thought.