My graduate project...

[proud gonzo]

So, I have to defend my "masters thesis" (which in my case is a novel) the last week of classes here. I have to give my committee 2 weeks to read said novel, so that means I now have 4 weeks to finish a novel (and yes, I do mean a real novel) and do all the rewrites and editing.

There's no point to this story. I haven't left the house all day and I've barely left my chair and I needed to look at something that ISN'T my manuscript for a minute. So I turned to the south oval.

so... yeah.

[Collier11]

good luck with that, Ive always thought about going for my Masters but not sure if I am ready for all of that :D

[Crucifax Autumn]

Good luck!

You gonna share anything about the novel with us?

[Harry Beanbag]

You gonna share anything about the novel with us?


Fabio is on the cover.

[Okla-homey]

Fabio is on the cover.

are bodices ripped in said novel? Does flesh quiver in sweet anticipation of being touched by the hands of a mysterious and dangerous stranger? Dish!

[TUSooner]

I've been meaning to thank you for writing me in as the suave, handsome, and cosmopolitan man of mystery and danger. It was only natural, I know, but I appreciate it nonetheless.


But seriously, way to go. Lots of us wish we could do that.




and pancakes

[yermom]

you should post it here and we can give you notes :D

[Chuck Bao]

If you need any plot lines, I am sure we can help since the novel is obviously inspired by the posters here and essentially all about us.

This is just one of hopefully many suggestions.

Sic’em is arrested and charged with managing a slave-for-hire business when he unfortunately crossed state lines during his move from Waco via Fort Gibson to Vicksburg. It was further discovered that Dean was the mastermind and financial backer of the business, after gaining inspiration from his cattle operation and borrowing the hard-earned money of his parents. Dean selected Sic’em to manage the business because he probably wouldn’t be able to score with any of the slaves and would make the perfect fall guy. Indeed, Sic’em claims that he did nothing wrong according to the constitution and the arrest was illegal. Okla-homey is selected to represent Sic’em in the court case on pro bono basis. Unfortunately, Okla-homey muffs up the closing argument with his praise of Abraham Lincoln, essentially countering all of the expert witnesses lined up by Sic’em. Sic’em goes to McAlister. In a very brave breakout plan, Olevetonahill and StoopTroup dress up as Buddhist nuns to smuggle a file to Sic’em and a chastity belt. But, the prison guards are a bit suspicious because Olevetonahill and StoopTroup are Buddhist nuns who ride bikes and they could possibly quite drunk and they are not at all attractive. Even as they are body cavity searched, their cell phones keep ringing with their drunk-dialing friends, Crucifax Autumn, Collier11 and Flagstaffsooner, wanting to know how their breakout of Sic’em is going.

[Crucifax Autumn]

are bodices ripped in said novel?

I recommend setting it texass so it can be bovines that get ripped!

[Howzit]

So, I have to defend my "masters thesis" (which in my case is a novel) the last week of classes here. I have to give my committee 2 weeks to read said novel, so that means I now have 4 weeks to finish a novel (and yes, I do mean a real novel) and do all the rewrites and editing.

There's no point to this story. I haven't left the house all day and I've barely left my chair and I needed to look at something that ISN'T my manuscript for a minute. So I turned to the south oval.

so... yeah.

If you're writing a novel don't forget 'The End.'

You're welcome.

[Howzit]

Oh, and please make my name Zane.

TIA

[Mjcpr]

Oh, and please make my name Zane.

TIA

Zane Longfellow, nailer of chicks.

pg, when you write, it's important to write stuff smart sounding like 'nailer of chicks' rather than the dumber 'chick nailer'. YWIA.

[Crucifax Autumn]

"Impaler of chicks" sounds bigger.

[1890MilesToNorman]

Is it about the Wister chainsaw massacres?

[soonerboomer93]

Zane Longfellow, nailer of chicks.

pg, when you write, it's important to write stuff smart sounding like 'nailer of chicks' rather than the dumber 'chick nailer'. YWIA.

well, it is a work of fiction, so that would probably work well.

it's kinda like callin a fat man slim

[Jacie]

It was a dark and stormy night . . .

Does that help?

[C&CDean]

I can give you some sure-fire winners to sprinkle throughout your novel:

"All seemed quite normal at number 4, Privet Drive..."

"What happened down in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret. So, naturally, the whole school knows."

"Well, thank you for that assessment, Mr Weasley. Perhaps it would be more useful if I were to transfigure Mr Potter and yourself into a pocket watch. That way, one of you might be on time."

"It's curious that you should be destined for this wand when its brother gave you that scar."

"See? Right here. You're young in years but the heart that beats beneath your bosom is as shriveled as an old maid's, your soul as dry as the pages of the books to which you so desperately cleave."

"Fame is a fickle friend Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that."

"You were seen! By no less than seven Muggles! Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world! Not to mention the damage you inflicted on Whomping Willow, that's been on these grounds since before you were born!"

Shoot, you could even become a brazillionaire.

[soonerboy_odanorth]

4 weeks?... for a novel?..

Are we talking 160 pages The Outsiders novel, or 1100 pages The Stand?

If you can get 100 well written and coherent done in 4 weeks that would be impressive. Maybe you need to think novella.

And your best bet is to go Hemingway on the bit... LOTS of booze. You're going to need it.

I do not envy you.

[Collier11]

160 pages...ouch, I did a lot of writing back in college and I can imagine the 1st 100 or so would be breezy but the last 60 would be a pain

[Mjcpr]

If you can get 100 well written and coherent done in 4 weeks that would be impressive. Maybe you need to think novella.

I agree with this, pg. Try it on some toast to help stimulate your brane during times of writer's block.

[Fraggle145]

Good luck pg!

[soonerboy_odanorth]

I agree with this, pg. Try it on some toast to help stimulate your brane during times of writer's block.

NOVELLA.. not NUTELLA... Jackass! :D ;)

[soonerboomer93]

Novella can be a bit dry though, so drink lots of beer to help it digest

[C&CDean]

I like licking novellas.

[SanJoaquinSooner]

Crucifax recommends you make it a graphic novel. That way, you get to use words and pictures.

[Crucifax Autumn]

You need a new hobby.

[tommieharris91]

I just read a thread that has nothing to do with health care on the South Oval. This doesn't feel right...

[Crucifax Autumn]

True, but juan is trying to make you feel at home by being a dongmeister.

[proud gonzo]

Dean, I am not going to plagiarize Harry Potter.

Good luck!

You gonna share anything about the novel with us?
Thanks!
No.


Fabio is on the cover.
Wrong.


are bodices ripped in said novel? Does flesh quiver in sweet anticipation of being touched by the hands of a mysterious and dangerous stranger? Dish!
No, no, and no.


Zane Longfellow, nailer of chicks.

pg, when you write, it's important to write stuff smart sounding like 'nailer of chicks' rather than the dumber 'chick nailer'. YWIA.
thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

Is it about the Wister chainsaw massacres?
no.

4 weeks?... for a novel?..

Are we talking 160 pages The Outsiders novel, or 1100 pages The Stand?

If you can get 100 well written and coherent done in 4 weeks that would be impressive. Maybe you need to think novella.

And your best bet is to go Hemingway on the bit... LOTS of booze. You're going to need it.

I do not envy you.
I've been working on it all semester. It's actually already 223 pages. (I wrote over half of that in the past four weeks.) So I only have another 77 or so pages to write between now and Tuesday, then three weeks to rewrite/edit the whole thing.
Besides, there isn't really a market for novellas.

Hemingway actually claimed he never wrote drunk. He wrote early in the morning to avoid the heat, that way he could do his 500 words before it got hot...and so he could start drinking. He also wrote standing up, longhand, on paper. I think I'd rather not try his method.

[olevetonahill]

Knock em dead Hon .

Its ok if ya use my stories about the JWs :D

[proud gonzo]

Knock em dead Hon .

Its ok if ya use my stories about the JWs :D

I already used that in a screenwriting class a couple years ago ;) :D

[badger]

So, I have to defend my "masters thesis" (which in my case is a novel) the last week of classes here. I have to give my committee 2 weeks to read said novel, so that means I now have 4 weeks to finish a novel (and yes, I do mean a real novel) and do all the rewrites and editing.

There's no point to this story. I haven't left the house all day and I've barely left my chair and I needed to look at something that ISN'T my manuscript for a minute. So I turned to the south oval.

so... yeah.
How's the book coming?

I, too, had an awful day. First, NP leaves and won't be coming home till Monday. For any stalkers out there, we have a home security system and two dogs that will eat you alive.

Then, work. A co-worker tried to make me look bad (not lying, but definitely spreading false info that portrays me poorly) and so I was bitter about it all day. I was so pizzed that I took the empty soda can on my desk when I knew this person was watching me (possibly waiting for another opportunity to tattle or spread more sh!t) and I crushed it flat as a pancake with my bare hands. If soda cans could scream, this one's noise would have filled the entire room... but hey, it's aluminum, so it still made a lot of noise.

Worst of all, NP was not around to console his poor wife at the end of the day. He's off on some bachelor party on a boat :(


So anyways, gonzo, hope that inspires your novel a little. Good luck!

[Tulsa_Fireman]

And then a burly fireman walked into the room, stuffed some money in Homey's jar, and ate all of Dean's fajitas.

The end.

[tommieharris91]

Anything like this? (http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/267108)

[proud gonzo]

How's the book coming?

I, too, had an awful day. First, NP leaves and won't be coming home till Monday. For any stalkers out there, we have a home security system and two dogs that will eat you alive.

Then, work. A co-worker tried to make me look bad (not lying, but definitely spreading false info that portrays me poorly) and so I was bitter about it all day. I was so pizzed that I took the empty soda can on my desk when I knew this person was watching me (possibly waiting for another opportunity to tattle or spread more sh!t) and I crushed it flat as a pancake with my bare hands. If soda cans could scream, this one's noise would have filled the entire room... but hey, it's aluminum, so it still made a lot of noise.

Worst of all, NP was not around to console his poor wife at the end of the day. He's off on some bachelor party on a boat :(


So anyways, gonzo, hope that inspires your novel a little. Good luck!

Well, I already wrote about 2000 words today and I'm still going....to an extent.

I'm using lottery scratchers as motivation. I love the little crossword scratchers. Everytime I write 100 words, I scratch another letter. One scratcher card lasts for 2000 words of novel, so that's pretty awesome. And sometimes I win money.

[proud gonzo]

1700 words written today and still going... 61,900 total so far.

[A Sooner in Texas]

PG, I'm so impressed. I write a lot of words every day for news stories, but I don't know if I can even get my brain to work for writing a novel. I hope to try sometime before I die. There's no doubt in my mind that your novel is going to be good, and I hope one of these days you'll give us a chance to read it. Raising a coffee cup to you - too early for a wineglass.

[Soonerfan88]

I'm really interested in hearing more of Chuck's story. Could one of you write that one? plzkthx :)


And much luck on your novel. I'm impressed with the amount of work you've been able to do already.

[thesnowbishop]

Just focus on the last 2 1/2 pages. End of the semester, the committee members will breeze (read skip for some) right through the last 1/3 of the novel. Let the last 2 1/2 pages be your poetry--leave them sighing in the end.

When it comes to the defense of the project, be unapologetic and ask about and challenge later characters in the novel: "But what of Mary's burgeoning fame?" and "I do hope the ambiguity of Raul's decision leads readers to question even their own choices."

Refrain from questions like: "You skipped over the denouement didn't you? Didn't you!"

[proud gonzo]

PG, I'm so impressed. I write a lot of words every day for news stories, but I don't know if I can even get my brain to work for writing a novel. I hope to try sometime before I die. There's no doubt in my mind that your novel is going to be good, and I hope one of these days you'll give us a chance to read it. Raising a coffee cup to you - too early for a wineglass.
If it ever gets published, I'll tell you the title so you can each go out and buy a copy ;)

[Curly Bill]

Maybe we can get one as a sponsors gift? :D

[proud gonzo]

heh.

[Okla-homey]

PG,

Serious question. You say you're going to be required to "defend" your novel to a faculty committee. Now, I understand a thesis defense. But defending a novel? A work of fiction? I mean, WTF are the going to say anyway, "I enjoyed it," or "I didn't like it?" What's the point?

[proud gonzo]

PG,

Serious question. You say you're going to be required to "defend" your novel to a faculty committee. Now, I understand a thesis defense. But defending a novel? A work of fiction? I mean, WTF are the going to say anyway, "I enjoyed it," or "I didn't like it?" What's the point?

to be honest, I have no idea what they're going to ask me. But my guess is they're going to ask me about all the things I've learned through the program and how I've applied them in this novel. They'll ask me about structure and technique. Probably also ask about the process I went through. Where it started and where it ended. If there are any things they didn't like or didn't think they worked, they'll probably ask me why I made those choices. If they advised me along the way and I ignored them, I'm sure they'll ask why I didn't listen to their advice.
The point of it is that when you see the final product of a novel, you can't see any of the process. So the choices I make might be good by instinct or by accident rather than actual knowledge. I think they want to get a sense that I know what I'm doing right and wrong. It's kinda like math teachers requiring you to show your work. It isn't just whether or not you get the right answer, it's whether or not you did it right.

I understand the reasoning, but at the same time, it's fiction and that means it's whatever i say it is. I know more about my novel than anyone else, so everything I say is right.

[olevetonahill]

Hell Hon , Ill bring my 357 and hep ya defend it
Alls i want is a signed 1st edition !;)

[C&CDean]

to be honest, I have no idea what they're going to ask me. But my guess is they're going to ask me about all the things I've learned through the program and how I've applied them in this novel. They'll ask me about structure and technique. Probably also ask about the process I went through. Where it started and where it ended. If there are any things they didn't like or didn't think they worked, they'll probably ask me why I made those choices. If they advised me along the way and I ignored them, I'm sure they'll ask why I didn't listen to their advice.
The point of it is that when you see the final product of a novel, you can't see any of the process. So the choices I make might be good by instinct or by accident rather than actual knowledge. I think they want to get a sense that I know what I'm doing right and wrong. It's kinda like math teachers requiring you to show your work. It isn't just whether or not you get the right answer, it's whether or not you did it right.

I understand the reasoning, but at the same time, it's fiction and that means it's whatever i say it is. I know more about my novel than anyone else, so everything I say is right.

I am sure there will be lots of process questions because I am pretty sure none of those pointy-headed ****ers are actually going to read this thing. They might scan it a little, read the opening and the end, and then act like they pored over it front to back, back to front. I hate pointy-heads.

You may come out of this defense feeling like "JHC, I just spent countless sleepless hours busting my *** on this thing, and that pointy-headed ****wad didn't even read the GD thing." If that happens, don't let it get you down. Just know you worked damned hard, and it's a damn fine novel.

[NormanPride]

Keep up the good work, pg! We're all rooting for you.

[Ike]

I understand the reasoning, but at the same time, it's fiction and that means it's whatever i say it is. I know more about my novel than anyone else, so everything I say is right.

This.

This is the universal attitude one must take into a PhD or Masters defense, regardless of what the subject matter is. For at least this narrow segment of work, you are the expert, and perhaps the only one in the world, and they are the students trying to learn from your awesome expertise in this area. (in your specific case, you are the only expert on this in the world.)

[Skysooner]

This.

This is the universal attitude one must take into a PhD or Masters defense, regardless of what the subject matter is. For at least this narrow segment of work, you are the expert, and perhaps the only one in the world, and they are the students trying to learn from your awesome expertise in this area. (in your specific case, you are the only expert on this in the world.)

It was that way with my thesis defense. To this day, I am not sure my thesis has been cracked open by anyone. It still sits in the OU Library room gathering dust.

[C&CDean]

It was that way with my thesis defense. To this day, I am not sure my thesis has been cracked open by anyone. It still sits in the OU Library room gathering dust.

Just like the diploma does hanging on the wall...

[proud gonzo]

thanks, Dean.

I know at least one of them will read it because she's my committee chair. I meet with her every week and she reads 20-30 pages (while I'm there), marks it up, and then we talk about it. So at least one of the three will know what the heck is going on.

[proud gonzo]

This is the novel that just won't end. I've written 2700 words already tonight, determined to finish. It's up to 70,758 words now (page 270).

I'm a teaching assistant for a freshman journalism class and next week they have to do a 2-4 page essay (I'll be grading 210 of them) and I swear if they complain about writing two pages I'm gonna choke a bitch.

[SanJoaquinSooner]

Did you start the novel with an outline of the beginning, middle, and the end? ... or do you just start writing and worry about such things later?

[Leroy Lizard]

I am sure there will be lots of process questions because I am pretty sure none of those pointy-headed ****ers are actually going to read this thing. They might scan it a little, read the opening and the end, and then act like they pored over it front to back, back to front. I hate pointy-heads.

It is irresponsible of a committee member to form a judgment on a thesis without having read it.

Signed,

Nancy Pelosi

[Leroy Lizard]

I'm a teaching assistant for a freshman journalism class...

Sorry to hear that.

[proud gonzo]

Did you start the novel with an outline of the beginning, middle, and the end? ... or do you just start writing and worry about such things later?I spent an entire semester making the outline. I'd turn it in and my professor would very kindly tell me why it was wrong. I usually start with a favorite scene and that's where the idea grows from, but with this one started a little differently. It was a story about a 12-year-old boy and his sick grandpa, but my professor didn't think that story had a plot, so it wound up as a fantasy novel.

[Fraggle145]

This.

This is the universal attitude one must take into a PhD or Masters defense, regardless of what the subject matter is. For at least this narrow segment of work, you are the expert, and perhaps the only one in the world, and they are the students trying to learn from your awesome expertise in this area. (in your specific case, you are the only expert on this in the world.)

Yep. You already know more than them, you just have to prove it to them.

[proud gonzo]

I submitted my manuscript to my committee today. Final count: 82,000 words, 333 pages.

I defend in two weeks.

[Skysooner]

Just like the diploma does hanging on the wall...

My diplomas from OU are hanging on my office wall. Good part is I'm still able to use some of the things I used in my graduate program. Geomechanics is starting to become big in the world of natural gas production.

[Skysooner]

I submitted my manuscript to my committee today. Final count: 82,000 words, 333 pages.

I defend in two weeks.

Good luck to you. As long as you did the work, the thesis defense is no more than a harassment (general hazing).

[NormanPride]

I submitted my manuscript to my committee today. Final count: 82,000 words, 333 pages.

I defend in two weeks.

Time for beer. And sleep. Maybe not in that order.

Congrats!