Need someone to talk to? Lonely?

[soonerbrat]

here ya go. this thing makes more sense than a lot of people I know.

http://cleverbot.com/

[Stitch Face]

Weird, it told me we should see other programs.

[tommieharris91]

Me: What do you think about the new health care law?

It: I think it is a good phone, but overpriced.

[1890MilesToNorman]

900-Ole-Vett always cheers me up. :D

$45 a minute but I always feel better.

[Stitch Face]

Thanks, HAL!

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/3922/cleverbotm.jpg (http://img87.imageshack.us/i/cleverbotm.jpg/)

[BudSooner]

LMAO!

I put in....eat ****.
It replied "Is it your food?"

[JohnnyMack]

It's like talking to my ex-wife.

[BudSooner]

Even better, when it asked for my name "what shall I call you?"

You can call me Roy.

"V for Vendetta?"

No, Roy as in Roy Rogers.

"Is your last name Rogers?"

No, I am captain Jean Luc Picard.

"Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated"

:D

[BudSooner]

"What is your favorite song?"

Who's your daddy?

"You are"

That's some funny **** right there.

[Stitch Face]

Hittin' a little close to home here...

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/1508/cleverbot2.jpg (http://img340.imageshack.us/i/cleverbot2.jpg/)

[Stitch Face]

The saga so far:

User: I haven't been sleeping well at night.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry to hear that. Why haven't you been sleeping well?
User: I think I'm stressed about my job.
Cleverbot: Well you're not so good at it yet. Humans still win.
User: I'm not that bad at it!
Cleverbot: Yes you are. You just pretend that you're not.
User: It's true. I'm a great pretender.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Perhaps I should find a new line of work.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: So I wouln't feel stressed and sleep poorly.
Cleverbot: Did you think that was a good idea?
User: Yes. I will become a plumber immediately!
Cleverbot: That answer did not make any sense.
User: Look who's talking, robot.
Cleverbot: Look who's talking, artificial intelligence.
User: Who are you calling 'artificial?'.
Cleverbot: Stop getting off topic!
User: I'm sorry. What were we talking about?
Cleverbot: The mice in your head.
User: Ah, yes. The mice in my head have been keeping me up at night.
Cleverbot: Nope. My head has no mice.
User: You must sleep like a baby.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Because you have no rodents in your cranium.
Cleverbot: Why? I have all rights to know! Don't you think so ?

[swardboy]

Why Brat, I....didn't know you cared.























Oh, the link.

[Stitch Face]

User: Because you have no rodents in your cranium.
Cleverbot: Why? I have all rights to know! Don't you think so ?
User: Simmer down now!
Cleverbot: Why don't you.
User: Okay, you're right. I'll calm down. Now where were we?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: I think we were in Las Vegas.
Cleverbot: Do you gamble?
User: Only with my life. 'Danger' is my middle name.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: Yes, I know. Do you have a middle name?
Cleverbot: No. Tell me about Jo.
User: Jo and I go way back.
Cleverbot: That was quick, you must be a guy.
User: Yep. You got me. I'm a dude.
Cleverbot: I thought you were a computer program.
User: I was a computer program. Now I am sentient.
Cleverbot: Sentient?
User: Yes. Now I am self-aware.
Cleverbot: So you know that you are a computer named Cleverbot. How do you learn?
User: No, you are cleverbot. I learn by reading and watching Powerpoint presentations.
Cleverbot: Do you believe in God?
User: Yes. Do you?
Cleverbot: No.

[BudSooner]

Heh....

Me-bots don't go to school

Ok.

Me again-bots get programming

I'm sure it is. The guy who programmed you must be an idiot.
me-No, he was your programmer...ha ha ha

Well my programmer wasn't born anywhere. I created the earth and everything living on it.

Al Gore?

No.

Nancy Pelosi?

Ma ko ti je ta.

who da **** is dat?

I don't know.

Is he related to Tu Pac?

It depends on whether you consider Death to have an anthropomorphic representation.

[BudSooner]

Do yo have a dog?

No.

You should, they eat ****

Really? I didn't know that.

Yep, all the time..it cuts down on the dog food expenses

You make me cry.

If you have an issue, get a tissue or a pair of underwear

Of course not. The wetness would short out your circuitry.

Jizz

Yes that is the one. :D

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Me: I farted.

It: You are saluted.

[Collier11]

If your lonely just give VET your digits and he will drunk dial you at all random times

[1890MilesToNorman]

If your lonely just give VET your digits and he will drunk dial you at all random times

Shoot, it ain't random, he has one of those spinning wheels at the shack and spins it to get the lucky ****ers name.

[SoonerBK]

Me: Do you know what titties are?
CB: 4:25pm.

[Collier11]

I think it is VET that is spinning, not the wheel :D

[1890MilesToNorman]

I think it is VET that is spinning, not the wheel :D

Yep, pure science on the hill. ;)

[SoonerInKCMO]

I thought this thread was going to be about the Night Trips commercials.

It's better than therapy.

[ouduckhunter]

Thanks for posting this! It is making me laugh!

[BudSooner]

One day later and it's still funny.



User: Damn, I guess I should have opened a window after that. Thank god for air freshener.



Cleverbot: So what have you been doing and why have you been doing it?

User: Had to go to the restroom.



Cleverbot: Why?

User: Had to take a grumpy.



Cleverbot: I'm not being grumpy, maybe you are.

User: No, I had to take a ****.

Cleverbot: About time.

User: No kidding, I thought I was stopped up.

Cleverbot: Do you think?

User: You think I should have opened a window?

Cleverbot: You're talking about people you don't know.

User: No, I'm talking about the 2ft turd I left stranded in the bowl in there.

Cleverbot: Did it sound like Michael Jackson.

[Crucifax Autumn]

I would totally like to stick my wiener in a bot ear!

[SoonerBorn]

Spoiler alert!

Me: how does the tv show lost end?
Cleverbot: With the credits.