homerSimpsonsBrain
1/21/2010, 12:25 AM
This is a non-partisan "laff at all the bastages" thread. No discussion allowed. Just the jokes...
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The boss and her chauffeur are rushing to a meeting when
suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on, and the car comes to a stop.
Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check--you were driving."
So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old.
"You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer," says Nancy .
Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.
"What happened to you?" asks Nancy .
The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a great meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say?" asks Nancy .
"I just knocked on the door and when it opened I said to them, "I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed that old cow."
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So Ronald Reagan is speaking at a fund raiser shortly after his first election and a group of rowdy AARP folks start heckling him about his proposed medicare cuts. He jumps off the stage and grabs a loud mouthed 90 year old by the lapel and pulls him from his wheel chair and starts slapping him around yelling "You lazy bastage!! When I was your age, I was WORKING!!!"
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The boss and her chauffeur are rushing to a meeting when
suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on, and the car comes to a stop.
Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check--you were driving."
So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old.
"You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer," says Nancy .
Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.
"What happened to you?" asks Nancy .
The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a great meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say?" asks Nancy .
"I just knocked on the door and when it opened I said to them, "I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed that old cow."
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So Ronald Reagan is speaking at a fund raiser shortly after his first election and a group of rowdy AARP folks start heckling him about his proposed medicare cuts. He jumps off the stage and grabs a loud mouthed 90 year old by the lapel and pulls him from his wheel chair and starts slapping him around yelling "You lazy bastage!! When I was your age, I was WORKING!!!"