Bar Etiquette

[Jboozer]

So... for the first time in a while, I will be going to the bars this holiday season looking to pick up on the ladies. My previous strategy (advice from a friend, which has always worked) was to lie, lie about everything except for your name (unless you don't care what she calls you). I have some great stories about some things I have said!! Anyway, what do you all do, what is the best way to approach chicks at the bar. Remember, I just got out of a long relationship, and am not looking for love.

[StoopTroup]

Never say..."Would you like me to push up your stool".

[Frozen Sooner]

It's considered bad form to oppose a reasonable request to amend a complaint.

[MR2-Sooner86]

Go for the D.U.F.F. first or the GUE theory. You don't want to look shallow.

[royalfan5]

Make sure you got to the restroom frequently to blow through some rails.

[Rogue]

I think Roofies are still fashionable.

[Crucifax Autumn]

They call it "clubbing" so why not go all caveman with a big stick and drag a ho by her hair back to your place?

[picasso]

If your game isn't working there's always the fall back classic move of the elbow to the boob pass by.

Friend of mine perfected it.

[JLEW1818]

u can always go with this one...

"Ladies, I'm Steve Stifler and I have an 11-inch penis... around! Think about it."

[sooner ngintunr]

u can always go with this one...

"Ladies, I'm Steve Stifler and I have an 11-inch penis... around! Think about it."

:gary:

[SteelClip49]

Tell them you have OVJ and that you know jlew...that should work!

[olevetonahill]

Just Lick yer Eyebrows

Nuff said :cool:

[SCOUT]

Just ask her what she charges...



That should go over well :D

[setem]

SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL!

[Collier11]

No no no, just try this..."Hey Ladies, ever wanna be penetrated?"

[olevetonahill]

Every one else CAINT Lick their Eyebrows :eek: :pop: :pop: :pop:

[SicEmBaylor]

Go for the sad sap routine. Find your target girl and proceed to tell her every depressing pathetic detail about your love life and the relationship you just got out of. Cry intermittently.

Be sure to kiss her hand at some point.

YWIA.

[OUHOMER]

Go for the sad sap routine. Find your target girl and proceed to tell her every depressing pathetic detail about your love life and the relationship you just got out of. Cry intermittently.

Be sure to kiss her hand at some point.

YWIA.

That's our Sic'Em :P

[SanJoaquinSooner]

http://www.matthewhatfield.com/images/Ben_Franklin_100_dollar_bill.bmphttp://www.matthewhatfield.com/images/Ben_Franklin_100_dollar_bill.bmphttp://www.matthewhatfield.com/images/Ben_Franklin_100_dollar_bill.bmp

[SanJoaquinSooner]

But seriously, Yahoo just posted tips that truly may be helpful.

Here are 10 surefire ways to intrigue her every time:

1. Observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example, if she is ordering a turkey sandwich, ask her if the turkey is good here.
“Make your comment immediate to the situation”
Make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly natural. No matter where you are, there is always something interesting to comment on.

2. Smile. This shows her that you are friendly and confident. A genuine smile not only feels good to you, but will put her at ease while creating openness in the interaction -- a requirement for building rapport.

3. Do not hesitate. If you hesitate in your approach, this tells her that you are not feeling confident -- an immediate turn-off. When you see her, walk over to her within a short period of time (the three-second rule). Show her you are a man who knows what he wants and goes after it.

4. Positive body language. If you approach hunched over with your head down, you are sending negative information about yourself, which makes you dead in the water before you begin. Stand up straight, with shoulders back and chest out, and use a firm yet relaxed walk.

5. Not too fast. If you walk over too fast, you could likely trigger her internal alarm. A calm, casual approach is usually the best way to make her feel at ease with you.

6. Keep eye contact. Never be the first to break eye contact when you approach. If you do, this sends the message that you are not feeling good about approaching. When you use strong eye contact, she will feel more drawn to you. With practice, you can master this.

7. Listen up. Make sure you pay careful attention to what she says. Do not have your response pre-thought out. Women love a man who pays attention to the details of what she says. If you start throwing out random words, she will lose interest fast.

8. Do not fidget. Fidgeting after you approach is distracting and shows you are uncomfortable. If you communicate that you are uncomfortable, she will feel uncomfortable, too, and will close up. Practice being aware of your movements. Pay attention to those movements, or lack of movements, that communicate comfort and confidence.

9. Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is a very powerful tool. Approaching her in a light and playful tone is one of the best ways to start. You could also begin in a serious tone, accusing her of something like "
“I hope you saved some turkey for me”
I hope you saved some turkey for me," followed by a quick smile to let her know you are joking. Practice playing with your vocal tone with your friends -- notice the different reactions you get when you say the exact same thing using varied tones and fluctuations.

10. Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets her know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself.

The key to making these tips work for you is putting them into practice! Practice these tips and see the reaction you get. When you put them all together, you will be surprised at their power.

[Breadburner]

What size shoe do you wear.....

[Jboozer]

What size shoe do you wear.....

Really big! haha

... See Stifler comment

[SanJoaquinSooner]

One can't underestimate the value of a good wing man. Some women are leery of guys who hang out alone, plus it gives them an opportunity to see a different, and perhaps endearing side of you, if you a have a buddy with whom you interact well. A good buddy will act as your straight man when appropriate - putting you in a good, witty light. Plus it takes pressure off you, so you don't over focus your attention on your lady of interest.

[SanJoaquinSooner]

nm

[TUSooner]

Rule #1: Don't ask anybody on SF.com for advice.

YWIA!

[Breadburner]

Really big! haha

... See Stifler comment

A buddy of mine wore a 15....He would walk up to a table full of ladies and just set his shoe on the table and wait for them to comment....lol...

[the_ouskull]

I disagree. I am a guru for relationship advice. In this particular instance, for example, might I recommend:

The D.E.N.N.I.S. system...

http://www.hulu.com/watch/109162/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-the-dennis-system#s-p1-so-i0

You're welcome.

Or, you could do what I do and just show it to 'em. 60% of the time, it works every time.

the_ouskull

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Hey, I got a weiner. It can be yours...

If the PRICE is RIGHT!

[goingoneight]

I disagree. I am a guru for relationship advice. In this particular instance, for example, might I recommend:

The D.E.N.N.I.S. system...

http://www.hulu.com/watch/109162/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-the-dennis-system#s-p1-so-i0

You're welcome.

Or, you could do what I do and just show it to 'em. 60% of the time, it works every time.

the_ouskull

DENNIS System FTW!!! "Would you just shut up and let me demonstrate my value to you? Geesh!!!"

[the_ouskull]

My favorite "bad" (get it,' cause they all are?) pickup line has always been, "If we are what we eat, I could be you by tomorrow."

the_ouskull

[unbiasedtruth]

let's go get a hamburger and f***, and you can buy the hamburger....