Cheaters

[SteelClip49]

Ladies...if your man/men if your woman cheated on you and there is sympathy and sorrow by the guilty side, would you give them a second chance?

[StoopTroup]

If I got a few shots at them both with a nine iron I might.

[olevetonahill]

Shoulda been a pole :D

[StoopTroup]

Cheetah Pole....lol

[GrapevineSooner]

I feel sorry for Tiger and baby seals. What with that connection of being clubbed by Norwegians and all.

[SteelClip49]

It sucks having to deal with it. Especially after all the lies and such and the important times spent well together. She is an Oklahoma State fan and I forgave her for that but this just really puts me in a corner of not knowing what to do, after she sobs and begs for my forgiveness as she realizes she made a huge mistake.

[Crucifax Autumn]

OJ time...

[olevetonahill]

OVJ time...

Fixed, That shat cures what ails ya :D

[SunnySooner]

Well, only the 2 of you can really answer that. Relationships go up and down over time. If the up times are worth enduring the downs, then you can work thru this. You both have to really want it. She will have to work to earn your trust (always being where she says she is, following thru on promises, etc.) and you will have to give her that trust again, not constantly hover and check up on her--it will be on her to prove herself, not on you to play lie detector. I'm curious if you're dating/engaged/married? Because different levels of commitment are involved, and lots of people would cheat on someone they're dating, but never on a spouse. Even if you are married, all of the above still applies, and may even make your relationship stronger in the end.

Hope Auntie Sunny's advice has been helpful, sorry you're going thru a rough patch, that boy/girl crap hurts.:( Keep your chin up! :)

[olevetonahill]

The Yainch is Just a GF ? and a POKE ?
Kick her asz to the curb . say Adios bitch :rolleyes:

[TheBobbyTrain]

It sucks having to deal with it. Especially after all the lies and such and the important times spent well together. She is an Oklahoma State fan and I forgave her for that but this just really puts me in a corner of not knowing what to do, after she sobs and begs for my forgiveness as she realizes she made a huge mistake.

and when you forgive her she'll do it again. and again. and again. There isn't much sense in sticking around for a girl who cheats when you can go find one that doesn't and can be about ten times more fun, better looking, not an osu fan, etc...

so here's what you're gonna do - make sure she has no STD's and whatnot - pretend to accept her apology - pound it out once or twice more and try to do all the things that she never let you do - then hit the f'n road and don't look back. your life will be better for it although you might not know it for yourself yet.

[C&CDean]

Nope. Not ever. Never.

Why? Cause the only glue that can hold a relationship together is trust. Complete and total trust. Once your girlfriend has gone out and sang into another man's microphone it's over. Same goes for if the guy goes out and plays hide the sausage with some bimbo.

Sure, some people "work it out" but trust me, it ain't ever worked out. 30 years later you still won't be trusted, and there'll be angst in the relationship. Walk the **** away and start over. It ain't that hard/bad.

[badger]

Ladies...if your man/men if your woman cheated on you and there is sympathy and sorrow by the guilty side, would you give them a second chance?

Why... have you heard something :mad::mad:

http://www.badgers.org/images/gallery_hissing_badger.jpg

;)

[soonerbrat]

Ladies...if your man/men if your woman cheated on you and there is sympathy and sorrow by the guilty side, would you give them a second chance?

been there, done that. bad idea. so no.

[soonerbrat]

and for the record - if they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you.

[StoopTroup]

If you have kids and you cheat...not only should your spouse get whacks at you with a nine iron...so should the kids. If you've got problems in your marriage...you shouldn't bring in a third person. Deal with your problems. You're hurting people who don't deserve to be hurt.

[sooneron]

I feel sorry for Tiger and baby seals. What with that connection of being clubbed by Norwegians and all.

You do realize that she's Swedish, right?

[C&CDean]

You do realize that she's Swedish, right?

Judas H Priest sending a Christmas card to a ****ing Jew, you are one picky sumbitch.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

PIITB...that way, it isn't cheating

[StoopTroup]

What's the difference between a golf ball and an Escalade?









Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 400 yards.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They are said to be named Elin Woods…”clubs you can beat Tiger with.”

[stoops the eternal pimp]

The police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She says, “I don’t know. Just put me down for 5″.

[AggieTool]

Cheating is like yawning right when a bus splashes muddy water in yer mouth.

It can't be undone.

[StoopTroup]

LOL Step...She boggyed his hole.

[SteelClip49]

so here's what you're gonna do - make sure she has no STD's and whatnot - pretend to accept her apology - pound it out once or twice more and try to do all the things that she never let you do - then hit the f'n road and don't look back. your life will be better for it although you might not know it for yourself yet.


I know what to do and when I said I was in a corner, I wasn't stuck, I was just silent and still. I really had no space all of a sudden to think clearly and just wondered why in the F do people do this to others? Hell, if you want to cheat....cheat on an exam, cheat in a race, count cards...something but don't cheat on loved ones.

I hear that a lot (referring to the quote above). Do it once or twice more and get something out of it and then move on. Kind of like a dog pissing against a light pole or fire hydrant...enough to make it a landmark then move onto something else. I am partial to that- do her and get some really good closure or just walk and move on to someone better.

[badger]

Are we onto Tiger Woods jokes then? OK, how bout this?

Tiger Woods initially refused transport to the hospital, because he feared it would count as a stroke.

[Pricetag]

I stayed with a girl who cheated on me, for the worst reasons.

I was afraid of being alone.

The whole thing happened in view of our circle of friends. I did not want to be seen as the "loser" by them if we split up in the aftermath. I wanted to make him the loser, to humiliate and make her subservient to me for her weakness.

My greatest regret is that I allowed it to bring out the very worst in me. I pretended to have the moral high ground while showing my *** in a great way.

That being said, she took her lumps. She dealt with my paranoia, my rehashes and attacks over it all for the nearly two years that it took for me to fully forgive her.

I was a believer of "once a cheater, always a cheater" until then. This happened after we had been dating for a year and a half, 13 years ago. We'll be married for ten years this summer. I trust her completely. It is still terribly hurtful to think back on, but we have both changed so much since then, that I can't believe that it actually happened--she is not the person who betrayed my trust.

Hindsight is always 20/20. Our making it this far leads me to believe that we would not have stayed apart, no matter what happened. If I had it to do over again, I would have spent some time apart from her. Time alone to work things out would have allowed me to filter some of the things that went through my head, and consequently out my mouth, when we stayed together. What we had afterward was not what we had before, anyway. It was a completely new relationship. It would have been an easier road to the same destination, I think.

[AggieTool]

I stayed with a girl who cheated on me, for the worst reasons.

I was afraid of being alone.

The whole thing happened in view of our circle of friends. I did not want to be seen as the "loser" by them if we split up in the aftermath. I wanted to make him the loser, to humiliate and make her subservient to me for her weakness.

My greatest regret is that I allowed it to bring out the very worst in me. I pretended to have the moral high ground while showing my *** in a great way.

That being said, she took her lumps. She dealt with my paranoia, my rehashes and attacks over it all for the nearly two years that it took for me to fully forgive her.

I was a believer of "once a cheater, always a cheater" until then. This happened after we had been dating for a year and a half, 13 years ago. We'll be married for ten years this summer. I trust her completely. It is still terribly hurtful to think back on, but we have both changed so much since then, that I can't believe that it actually happened--she is not the person who betrayed my trust.

Hindsight is always 20/20. Our making it this far leads me to believe that we would not have stayed apart, no matter what happened. If I had it to do over again, I would have spent some time apart from her. Time alone to work things out would have allowed me to filter some of the things that went through my head, and consequently out my mouth, when we stayed together. What we had afterward was not what we had before, anyway. It was a completely new relationship. It would have been an easier road to the same destination, I think.


Hah!


What a chump!:D




















































(JK, yer a saint):O

[C&CDean]

I stayed with a girl who cheated on me, for the worst reasons.

I was afraid of being alone.

The whole thing happened in view of our circle of friends. I did not want to be seen as the "loser" by them if we split up in the aftermath. I wanted to make him the loser, to humiliate and make her subservient to me for her weakness.

My greatest regret is that I allowed it to bring out the very worst in me. I pretended to have the moral high ground while showing my *** in a great way.

That being said, she took her lumps. She dealt with my paranoia, my rehashes and attacks over it all for the nearly two years that it took for me to fully forgive her.

I was a believer of "once a cheater, always a cheater" until then. This happened after we had been dating for a year and a half, 13 years ago. We'll be married for ten years this summer. I trust her completely. It is still terribly hurtful to think back on, but we have both changed so much since then, that I can't believe that it actually happened--she is not the person who betrayed my trust.

Hindsight is always 20/20. Our making it this far leads me to believe that we would not have stayed apart, no matter what happened. If I had it to do over again, I would have spent some time apart from her. Time alone to work things out would have allowed me to filter some of the things that went through my head, and consequently out my mouth, when we stayed together. What we had afterward was not what we had before, anyway. It was a completely new relationship. It would have been an easier road to the same destination, I think.

In all seriousness, I kinda feel sorry for you.

You can say you've got "complete trust" but you're lying to yourself. Do you ever travel away on business? Does she ever go somewhere without you? Don't tell me you ain't thinking - maybe in the wee back part of your mind - "hmmmm I wonder if she's .......??" cause if you don't, you're a very unatural person or your name is Charlie Brown, and you'll let Lucy pull the football out from under you over and over.

I will agree that if you stayed together it would be a whole new relationship cause the old one is forever ****ed up. And I ain't sure the new one can ever be much better cause try as you will, **** is ****, and it went down and it could happen again.

[SunnySooner]

BS, Dean. Did you ever do some stupid things when you were 21 or 22? I sure as hell did. And now that I'm older and wiser, I don't do those things anymore. Anyone can make a mistake for a wide variety of reasons, and those people deserve a second chance, imho.

Now are there people out there who are chronic cheaters/liars? Yes. But that's different from someone who has a onetime screw up, voices regret and sorrow and wants forgiveness.

[Pricetag]

In all seriousness, I kinda feel sorry for you.

You can say you've got "complete trust" but you're lying to yourself. Do you ever travel away on business? Does she ever go somewhere without you? Don't tell me you ain't thinking - maybe in the wee back part of your mind - "hmmmm I wonder if she's .......??" cause if you don't, you're a very unatural person or your name is Charlie Brown, and you'll let Lucy pull the football out from under you over and over.

I will agree that if you stayed together it would be a whole new relationship cause the old one is forever ****ed up. And I ain't sure the new one can ever be much better cause try as you will, **** is ****, and it went down and it could happen again.
Awww, Dean, I didn't know you cared. :D

Having read what you wrote earlier in the thread, I'm not surprised to see your response. I can certainly understand where you're coming from, but you're assuming that your experience applies in all cases.

I won't defend myself or my wife--there's no ground to be gained there on either side. I assure you that I did feel all the things you mention above--not one of my prouder moments in life. Any committed person can feel these things--just because your lover has not done anything to betray your trust doesn't mean that he or she won't. But you have to leave yourself vulnerable to that kind of hurt or you don't have a real relationship.

No one's experience really applies to anyone else's life, which is why I didn't really offer FmrEmpOUathdept any advice. I just shared what happened to me, how I handled it, and what I learned from it all.

[Fraggle145]

I know what to do and when I said I was in a corner, I wasn't stuck, I was just silent and still. I really had no space all of a sudden to think clearly and just wondered why in the F do people do this to others? Hell, if you want to cheat....cheat on an exam, cheat in a race, count cards...something but don't cheat on loved ones.

I hear that a lot (referring to the quote above). Do it once or twice more and get something out of it and then move on. Kind of like a dog pissing against a light pole or fire hydrant...enough to make it a landmark then move onto something else. I am partial to that- do her and get some really good closure or just walk and move on to someone better.

Make sure she remembers you. PIITB. No lube.

[Fraggle145]

I wanted to make him the loser, to humiliate and make her subservient to me for her weakness.

My greatest regret is that I allowed it to bring out the very worst in me. I pretended to have the moral high ground while showing my *** in a great way.

That being said, she took her lumps. She dealt with my paranoia, my rehashes and attacks over it all for the nearly two years that it took for me to fully forgive her.

There is no way you would have got past it otherwise... You had to have some sort of reprisal. If you didnt the cycle would have just repeated itself until one of you left.

[OUMallen]

In all seriousness, I kinda feel sorry for you.

You can say you've got "complete trust" but you're lying to yourself. Do you ever travel away on business? Does she ever go somewhere without you? Don't tell me you ain't thinking - maybe in the wee back part of your mind - "hmmmm I wonder if she's .......??" cause if you don't, you're a very unatural person or your name is Charlie Brown, and you'll let Lucy pull the football out from under you over and over.

I will agree that if you stayed together it would be a whole new relationship cause the old one is forever ****ed up. And I ain't sure the new one can ever be much better cause try as you will, **** is ****, and it went down and it could happen again.

I tend to agree with Dean on this one. It's not that you can never be happy together again. Sure you can be, and you are. But that bell cannot be unrung. It will always resonate somewhere in your psyche.

[Fraggle145]

I tend to agree with Dean on this one. It's not that you can never be happy together again. Sure you can be, and you are. But that bell cannot be unrung. It will always resonate somewhere in your psyche.

or your loins...

[C&CDean]

BS, Dean. Did you ever do some stupid things when you were 21 or 22? I sure as hell did. And now that I'm older and wiser, I don't do those things anymore. Anyone can make a mistake for a wide variety of reasons, and those people deserve a second chance, imho.

Now are there people out there who are chronic cheaters/liars? Yes. But that's different from someone who has a onetime screw up, voices regret and sorrow and wants forgiveness.

I'm 52 and I still do stupid ****. However, that doesn't have anything to do with the whole trust issue. My point is very simple. And Pricetag pretty much agreed with it. You will ALWAYS have a nagging thought about getting cheated on when it's happened to you. To me, living with that gut-wrenching nausea ain't worth it.

And Pricetag is right that someone you completely trust who has never cheated on you might start screwing the neighbor tonight too. The difference is I'm not spending years agonizing over it. If it happens, you deal with it, and once it happens, the whole original relationship is kaput. Over. Done. Which means to me she goes to the curb and you go out hunting and gathering again.

[colleyvillesooner]

Punt.

[SunnySooner]

I'm 52 and I still do stupid ****. However, that doesn't have anything to do with the whole trust issue. My point is very simple. And Pricetag pretty much agreed with it. You will ALWAYS have a nagging thought about getting cheated on when it's happened to you. To me, living with that gut-wrenching nausea ain't worth it.
And Pricetag is right that someone you completely trust who has never cheated on you might start screwing the neighbor tonight too. The difference is I'm not spending years agonizing over it. If it happens, you deal with it, and once it happens, the whole original relationship is kaput. Over. Done. Which means to me she goes to the curb and you go out hunting and gathering again.

That's the thing...like every other condition of human emotional anguish, with time you heal, and you don't live that way. Again, I'm not saying all cheaters should be forgiven, I'm just saying sometimes the relationship as a whole is worth fighting for, and can survive into something that is happy and healthy for both partners.

[adoniijahsooner]

I'm 52 and I still do stupid ****. However, that doesn't have anything to do with the whole trust issue. My point is very simple. And Pricetag pretty much agreed with it. You will ALWAYS have a nagging thought about getting cheated on when it's happened to you. To me, living with that gut-wrenching nausea ain't worth it.

And Pricetag is right that someone you completely trust who has never cheated on you might start screwing the neighbor tonight too. The difference is I'm not spending years agonizing over it. If it happens, you deal with it, and once it happens, the whole original relationship is kaput. Over. Done. Which means to me she goes to the curb and you go out hunting and gathering again.

What if your married with kids? Do you just leave without trying to work it out? What if you have been a complete ******* towards her, and she in a moment of weakness ends up in another man's bed? What if your junk stop working? What if you 2 met in a strip club and you knew she was a little wild?

You know in some of these situations, the blame can go both ways. I don't know if you are a christian, but the bible instructs spouse to not withhold the booty, so that you the other will not be tempted.

[OUMallen]

You know in some of these situations, the blame can go both ways. I don't know if you are a christian, but the bible instructs spouse to not withhold the booty, so that you the other will not be tempted.

Really?!?! Where!!!!??? Awesome!

[Pricetag]

That's the thing...like every other condition of human emotional anguish, with time you heal, and you don't live that way. Again, I'm not saying all cheaters should be forgiven, I'm just saying sometimes the relationship as a whole is worth fighting for, and can survive into something that is happy and healthy for both partners.
Yep.

Dean speaks of gut-wrenching nausea, of agonizing over it. I did that--like I said, it was a good long time before I was back to normal and able to forgive. When I say that it is still hurtful to reflect upon, I mean that, like every other memory in my life, I still carry an essence of it, and always will. When I think back upon it, just for a second, I get a twang of that pain. It sucks, but I'd hate to not be able to get that taste of all the good things that have happened in my life just to be rid of it.

I was 22 when that all happened, and my girlfriend was 20. It was the first attempt at a non-child's play relationship for both of us. We picked up the pieces, albeit not terribly gracefully, and moved on, and then somewhere in between, we shifted gears and that whole phase of our relationship, the college years, became child's play itself.

[adoniijahsooner]

Really?!?! Where!!!!??? Awesome!

I Corinthians 7:1-5


7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

[King Barry's Back]

It sucks having to deal with it. Especially after all the lies and such and the important times spent well together. She is an Oklahoma State fan and I forgave her for that but this just really puts me in a corner of not knowing what to do, after she sobs and begs for my forgiveness as she realizes she made a huge mistake.

Level of offense -- "Cheating" per se isn't, to me, automatically a huge offense. It's the context.

Did an opportunity unexpectedly present itself, and her natural curiosity took over, it was a once or twice thing, and she had no intention to ever leave you? I would probably give that a pass.

or, at the other extreme


Did she meet someone? Feel a "connection," decide it was worth following upon, that maybe this was the right man for her? And if she didn't find out, she would never know? And then he wasn't that into her, and shoved her out the door, and now she's crawling back? Under those circumstances, no, I wouldn't take her back.


If this was a longer term thing, I'd consider -- how was she seeing him? Did she have to tell numerous lies to cover herself? Did she treat me like a chump? Did she skip things important to me to see him? I'd be pretty inflexible in this scenario, as well, but as others said above -- it's up to the two of you.

[adoniijahsooner]

Level of offense -- "Cheating" per se isn't, to me, automatically a huge offense. It's the context.

Did an opportunity unexpectedly present itself, and her natural curiosity took over, it was a once or twice thing, and she had no intention to ever leave you? I would probably give that a pass.

or, at the other extreme


Did she meet someone? Feel a "connection," decide it was worth following upon, that maybe this was the right man for her? And if she didn't find out, she would never know? And then he wasn't that into her, and shoved her out the door, and now she's crawling back? Under those circumstances, no, I wouldn't take her back.


If this was a longer term thing, I'd consider -- how was she seeing him? Did she have to tell numerous lies to cover herself? Did she treat me like a chump? Did she skip things important to me to see him? I'd be pretty inflexible in this scenario, as well, but as others said above -- it's up to the two of you.

Great post!

[SteelClip49]

Pricetag...your ordeal has helped tremendously and I am very much thankful for your insight.

I couldn't get a hold of her during a 5 hour span so I drove from Yukon to Kingfisher, knocked on her door and she said, "Who is it?" I then said..."It's your DAMN BOYFRIEND. Open the damn door!"

She replied..."Ok, just a second."

She took 3 minutes and then I knew something was up and knew right away when her bathroom door was shut. She said he was just a friend and they did not have sex. She said he needed a place to stay after they went out for drinks last night.

We had been together most of that Saturday and I thought she was going to spend time with her grandmother and do Christmas shopping and of course that was a lie. The whole time she was lying I was out looking for a present for her.

I told her...ummm, there are hotels along highway 81 in Kingfisher. You could have kicked him out and still be nice about it.

She said she was not thinking but swore several times no sex was involved so I believed her after she started bawling and telling me she that she loves me and that I am the one for her.

We had a serious talk and she basically said that no one has ever treated her with respect and compassion like I have and that I was too good to be true.

I trust her but I still have some doubts for now and it will take time to see how real she really is.

Whether sex was involved or not, I still look at it as cheating. Cheaters never prosper but sometimes people deserve a second chance, especially if there is a strong connection like we have.

[Crucifax Autumn]

Big question...

What would SHE have done if it was the other way around and YOU had some chick hiding in the bathroom after sleeping over following a night having too much to drink while she'd been out shopping for a gift for you?

[batonrougesooner]

Pricetag...your ordeal has helped tremendously and I am very much thankful for your insight.

I couldn't get a hold of her during a 5 hour span so I drove from Yukon to Kingfisher, knocked on her door and she said, "Who is it?" I then said..."It's your DAMN BOYFRIEND. Open the damn door!"

She replied..."Ok, just a second."

She took 3 minutes and then I knew something was up and knew right away when her bathroom door was shut. She said he was just a friend and they did not have sex. She said he needed a place to stay after they went out for drinks last night.

We had been together most of that Saturday and I thought she was going to spend time with her grandmother and do Christmas shopping and of course that was a lie. The whole time she was lying I was out looking for a present for her.

I told her...ummm, there are hotels along highway 81 in Kingfisher. You could have kicked him out and still be nice about it.

She said she was not thinking but swore several times no sex was involved so I believed her after she started bawling and telling me she that she loves me and that I am the one for her.

We had a serious talk and she basically said that no one has ever treated her with respect and compassion like I have and that I was too good to be true.

I trust her but I still have some doubts for now and it will take time to see how real she really is.

Whether sex was involved or not, I still look at it as cheating. Cheaters never prosper but sometimes people deserve a second chance, especially if there is a strong connection like we have.

I want to be delicate here but dude, seriously. What do you think he was doing there?

[BASSooner]

Pricetag...your ordeal has helped tremendously and I am very much thankful for your insight.

I couldn't get a hold of her during a 5 hour span so I drove from Yukon to Kingfisher, knocked on her door and she said, "Who is it?" I then said..."It's your DAMN BOYFRIEND. Open the damn door!"

She replied..."Ok, just a second."

She took 3 minutes and then I knew something was up and knew right away when her bathroom door was shut. She said he was just a friend and they did not have sex. She said he needed a place to stay after they went out for drinks last night.

We had been together most of that Saturday and I thought she was going to spend time with her grandmother and do Christmas shopping and of course that was a lie. The whole time she was lying I was out looking for a present for her.

I told her...ummm, there are hotels along highway 81 in Kingfisher. You could have kicked him out and still be nice about it.

She said she was not thinking but swore several times no sex was involved so I believed her after she started bawling and telling me she that she loves me and that I am the one for her.

We had a serious talk and she basically said that no one has ever treated her with respect and compassion like I have and that I was too good to be true.

I trust her but I still have some doubts for now and it will take time to see how real she really is.

Whether sex was involved or not, I still look at it as cheating. Cheaters never prosper but sometimes people deserve a second chance, especially if there is a strong connection like we have.

The fact that she didn't have the decency to call or text you that she had a guy staying with her is very suspicious in my opinion. Plus, if it was with a friend of her's that you don't even know makes it THAT much more suspicious.

Honestly, If my girlfriend did something like this WITHOUT telling me (doesn't have to be sex, all it takes is a mutual kiss and touch), it's over. Her actions said that she wants someone else. It's not worth the time of being scared and paranoid over whether or not a person will do such a thing because the thought/picture of your woman (or man) is just unbearable. Just let the weights go and find someone better. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Just my 2 cents

[olevetonahill]

Big question...

What would SHE have done if it was the other way around and YOU had some chick hiding in the bathroom after sleeping over following a night having too much to drink while she'd been out shopping for a gift for you?


I want to be delicate here but dude, seriously. What do you think he was doing there?

Winnahs

[adoniijahsooner]

Pricetag...your ordeal has helped tremendously and I am very much thankful for your insight.

I couldn't get a hold of her during a 5 hour span so I drove from Yukon to Kingfisher, knocked on her door and she said, "Who is it?" I then said..."It's your DAMN BOYFRIEND. Open the damn door!"

She replied..."Ok, just a second."

She took 3 minutes and then I knew something was up and knew right away when her bathroom door was shut. She said he was just a friend and they did not have sex. She said he needed a place to stay after they went out for drinks last night.

We had been together most of that Saturday and I thought she was going to spend time with her grandmother and do Christmas shopping and of course that was a lie. The whole time she was lying I was out looking for a present for her.

I told her...ummm, there are hotels along highway 81 in Kingfisher. You could have kicked him out and still be nice about it.

She said she was not thinking but swore several times no sex was involved so I believed her after she started bawling and telling me she that she loves me and that I am the one for her.

We had a serious talk and she basically said that no one has ever treated her with respect and compassion like I have and that I was too good to be true.

I trust her but I still have some doubts for now and it will take time to see how real she really is.

Whether sex was involved or not, I still look at it as cheating. Cheaters never prosper but sometimes people deserve a second chance, especially if there is a strong connection like we have.

99.9 percent that he was and prolly still is, hitting that.

I once heard my ex-wife on the phone with a friend, and she told her, "no matter what you do stick to your story". When a woman decides to lie she will do everything she can to decieve you, and it seems she thought tears were the best way to get pass your wall.

[olevetonahill]

Shes a Yainch yer a Loser, If ya let her get away with it

[OUMallen]

Pricetag...your ordeal has helped tremendously and I am very much thankful for your insight.

I couldn't get a hold of her during a 5 hour span so I drove from Yukon to Kingfisher, knocked on her door and she said, "Who is it?" I then said..."It's your DAMN BOYFRIEND. Open the damn door!"

She replied..."Ok, just a second."

She took 3 minutes and then I knew something was up and knew right away when her bathroom door was shut. She said he was just a friend and they did not have sex. She said he needed a place to stay after they went out for drinks last night.

We had been together most of that Saturday and I thought she was going to spend time with her grandmother and do Christmas shopping and of course that was a lie. The whole time she was lying I was out looking for a present for her.

I told her...ummm, there are hotels along highway 81 in Kingfisher. You could have kicked him out and still be nice about it.

She said she was not thinking but swore several times no sex was involved so I believed her after she started bawling and telling me she that she loves me and that I am the one for her.

We had a serious talk and she basically said that no one has ever treated her with respect and compassion like I have and that I was too good to be true.

I trust her but I still have some doubts for now and it will take time to see how real she really is.

Whether sex was involved or not, I still look at it as cheating. Cheaters never prosper but sometimes people deserve a second chance, especially if there is a strong connection like we have.

Dude. You need to get angry. Did you leave with him still in the bathroom? Did he come out and corroborate her story? Why would she be unreachable for 5 hours? And what prompted you to drive all that way if you were pretty sure she was with family? SHE LIED TO YOU TO HAVE ANOTHER GUY AT HER PLACE.

You don't have a strong connection. She doesn't respect you or the relationship. I fear you're fooling yourself. Get out now. You'll do better.

[C&CDean]

Guys are the biggest ****ing suckers in the world.

You believe her when she says they weren't boinking because you want to believe her. Trust me, they were boinking.

You driving all the way over there and confronting her while Sancho was in the turlet hiding reeks of insecurity and suckerism. You seriously will feel much better about yourself if you drop her like a bomb. You'll be sad - for a while - then you'll get over it. If you stick it out with her, you're gonna go on a long, nauseating roller coaster ride that's gonna end up with you in the exact same place again.

Don't let her make you a sucker.

[OUMallen]

Well-said Dean.

I'll share a little one that happened to me. An exGF had moved pretty far away (12 hours) for a job, but she had decided to move back home and we were working things out from afar. She was having friends come up from OK, and they were going to stay at someone's house whose name had come up too often so I wondered. She lived not very close to the party district and wanted the group of them to crash there to avoid driving the 10 or so cop-filled miles. It all made sense, but my ESPN was working.

I told her I didn't like the idea of them all staying at a dude's place (he had a chick roommate, supposedly). She got mad at ME because she had already committed to the plans and it would be a hassle to change, but then like 2 minutes later she did a complete 180 and she sent an email changing her plans and said it was all OK and had a rosy attitude. Women are terrible liars. She should have waited longer to let her fake anger cool down so I could buy the story.

If I remember right, she ended up staying there anyway. We never worked out (which I never REALLY wanted it to, deep down), and now I'm dating the most amazing girl that, as cheesy as it sounds, makes me feel lucky every GD day I wake up.

[Crimsontothecore]

In all seriousness, I kinda feel sorry for you.

You can say you've got "complete trust" but you're lying to yourself. Do you ever travel away on business? Does she ever go somewhere without you? Don't tell me you ain't thinking - maybe in the wee back part of your mind - "hmmmm I wonder if she's .......??" cause if you don't, you're a very unatural person or your name is Charlie Brown, and you'll let Lucy pull the football out from under you over and over.

I will agree that if you stayed together it would be a whole new relationship cause the old one is forever ****ed up. And I ain't sure the new one can ever be much better cause try as you will, **** is ****, and it went down and it could happen again.

That describes myself several years ago. My first wife cheated on me and I tried to get past it because we had kids. We divorced three years later but I can honestly say she never gave me reason to be suspicious. She was very remorseful and I could tell she carried guilt for her affair. The problem is that I was never able to regain the trust I once had in her. Simple things like her going to the store and me wondering if that was where she was really at (even though she would go in sweat pants, slippers and no make-up). Like I said, SHE gave me no reason to be suspicious in the aftermath but I tortured myself because I had lost trust. I eventually had to end the marriage for my own sanity and peace of mind.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

Make sure she remembers you. PIITB. No lube.

Fraggle, I am very thankful for your insight.

[adoniijahsooner]

Dude. You need to get angry. Did you leave with him still in the bathroom? Did he come out and corroborate her story? Why would she be unreachable for 5 hours? And what prompted you to drive all that way if you were pretty sure she was with family? SHE LIED TO YOU TO HAVE ANOTHER GUY AT HER PLACE.

You don't have a strong connection. She doesn't respect you or the relationship. I fear you're fooling yourself. Get out now. You'll do better.

She was probably tied to the bed.

[adoniijahsooner]

That describes myself several years ago. My first wife cheated on me and I tried to get past it because we had kids. We divorced three years later but I can honestly say she never gave me reason to be suspicious. She was very remorseful and I could tell she carried guilt for her affair. The problem is that I was never able to regain the trust I once had in her. Simple things like her going to the store and me wondering if that was where she was really at (even though she would go in sweat pants, slippers and no make-up). Like I said, SHE gave me no reason to be suspicious in the aftermath but I tortured myself because I had lost trust. I eventually had to end the marriage for my own sanity and peace of mind.

That is usually the uniform of the cheater. They dress that way so they dont have fix themselves back up again. It's very easy to slip off a pair of sweat pants.

[adoniijahsooner]

I had a wife who would look me in my eyes, speak in soft tones, and just lie as though she was washing dishes. Also, I know numerous married women who have hardworking, good fathers at home, and they will cheat without any remorse.

[OUMallen]

That is usually the uniform of the cheater. They dress that way so they dont have fix themselves back up again. It's very easy to slip off a pair of sweat pants.

Excellent point. The husband will know something's up if they're dressed to the nines to go to Walmart.

[Pricetag]

Level of offense -- "Cheating" per se isn't, to me, automatically a huge offense. It's the context.

Did an opportunity unexpectedly present itself, and her natural curiosity took over, it was a once or twice thing, and she had no intention to ever leave you? I would probably give that a pass.

or, at the other extreme


Did she meet someone? Feel a "connection," decide it was worth following upon, that maybe this was the right man for her? And if she didn't find out, she would never know? And then he wasn't that into her, and shoved her out the door, and now she's crawling back? Under those circumstances, no, I wouldn't take her back.


If this was a longer term thing, I'd consider -- how was she seeing him? Did she have to tell numerous lies to cover herself? Did she treat me like a chump? Did she skip things important to me to see him? I'd be pretty inflexible in this scenario, as well, but as others said above -- it's up to the two of you.
Very interesting. I tend to think the exact opposite.

IMO, the hurt that is done by infidelity is the same, regardless of the context. The cheatee is treated like a chump by definition.

If it happened on a lark, like in your first scenario, it means less of a chance of it happening again with that same guy, but much more of a chance of it happening with another guy.

If it was your second scenario, where she thought it was something real, then you don't have to worry much about her cheating with another guy, but you do have a real worry about it happening again between the two of them.

It's six of one, a half dozen of another, IMO. But I think I'd be madder about the first scenario, where she wanted to have her cake and eat it, too, rather than the second, where you're still getting the shaft, but she'd probably would have put you out of your misery in the end.

[unbiasedtruth]

dump her and run, run fast, dont look back. sure it will hurt for a while, but there are other fish in the sea ready to be hooked so to speak.....

my story... 1st wife and I were married, decided not to have children until we were more "established". She was 22 I was 25. We both finsihed college several years later and were "established". Nice home, nics cars paid for, not a lot of debt so we decided it was time to try to have children. I was 37, she was 34 at the time. So we go to her OB/GYN, talk things out and decide to gor for it. 12 months later, nothing has happened. I go in for tests all come back 5 stars, no problem with my swimmers. We keep trying 6 months later still no go. Go back and they run tests on my wife. Her OB/GYN comes in and says I am going to need you to be perfectly honest with me, talkign to my wife, are you still on birth control? My wife at 1st denys it, then her doctors says the tests are indicating she is. She finally admits to still takig birth control and I get up and walk out super pissed, but not as pissed as I am going to be. We go home and Iask her why she is still taking birth control and she say so she wont get pregnant. I said duh, but I thought we were trying to. She breaks down and admitsto having affairs on my, not with one, but 2 different contractors that at the time were both workign with her on an imaging project she was the project lead for the company she worked for.

I went upstairs, packed a duffle bag witha couple of days worth of clothes and **** and said I'd be back on the weekend to pack my stuff up and move out.

She begged me to reconsider then, crying and sobbing, again on the weekend, and 2 other times.

I never looked back or even reconsidered. To this day I know I did the right thing. I do however wonder how she is and hope she is doing ok because she really rocked my world for 15 years....

[C&CDean]

To this day I know I did the right thing. I do however wonder how she is and hope she is doing ok because she really rocked my world for 15 years....

Yeah, yours and several other guys'. Good call.

[OUMallen]

dump her and run, run fast, dont look back. sure it will hurt for a while, but there are other fish in the sea ready to be hooked so to speak.....

my story... 1st wife and I were married, decided not to have children until we were more "established". She was 22 I was 25. We both finsihed college several years later and were "established". Nice home, nics cars paid for, not a lot of debt so we decided it was time to try to have children. I was 37, she was 34 at the time. So we go to her OB/GYN, talk things out and decide to gor for it. 12 months later, nothing has happened. I go in for tests all come back 5 stars, no problem with my swimmers. We keep trying 6 months later still no go. Go back and they run tests on my wife. Her OB/GYN comes in and says I am going to need you to be perfectly honest with me, talkign to my wife, are you still on birth control? My wife at 1st denys it, then her doctors says the tests are indicating she is. She finally admits to still takig birth control and I get up and walk out super pissed, but not as pissed as I am going to be. We go home and Iask her why she is still taking birth control and she say so she wont get pregnant. I said duh, but I thought we were trying to. She breaks down and admitsto having affairs on my, not with one, but 2 different contractors that at the time were both workign with her on an imaging project she was the project lead for the company she worked for.

I went upstairs, packed a duffle bag witha couple of days worth of clothes and **** and said I'd be back on the weekend to pack my stuff up and move out.

She begged me to reconsider then, crying and sobbing, again on the weekend, and 2 other times.

I never looked back or even reconsidered. To this day I know I did the right thing. I do however wonder how she is and hope she is doing ok because she really rocked my world for 15 years....

Jesus. That story makes me sick.

Way to nut up and hit the road.

[Chuck Bao]

People are animals. But that is no excuse. When there are kids involved, you gotta think about the consequences.

[JohnnyMack]

You need strip club therapy. Maybe a weekend in Vegas.

[soonerbrat]

does anyone watch the television show Cheaters?

[Soonerwake]

Any man that can "work it out" after she cheats is either more of a man than me or is a wuss. I haven't figured out which is which.

Been there, done that. Moved on for my own sanity...

[OUMallen]

does anyone watch the television show Cheaters?

Yes and it's AWESOME.

[Chuck Bao]

Any man that can "work it out" after she cheats is either more of a man than me or is a wuss. I haven't figured out which is which.

Been there, done that. Moved on for my own sanity...

Seriously, I don't think that is fair. If there are children involved, it could be about better man or it could be about the wuss. And, maybe that is different from your idea. You can hate the cheater but it is hard to hate the kids.

I got a phone call like three years into a relationship for my friend and there was a frantic woman and a baby crying in the background...

The dude did his best in becoming a responsible father and got a job. He is a great dad as far as I can tell. His family adopted me and they still love me as one of their own. I adopted the kids as a godfather figure and they are great kids. But, I was really ugly in seducing their father because I knew I could. I was also really ugly in calling their mother really ugly names. Her nickname is chep (the sound a young chick makes). I still call her cheap.

Call me an animal all you want because I am one.

[I Am Right]

Ladies...if your man/men if your woman cheated on you and there is sympathy and sorrow by the guilty side, would you give them a second chance?

Nope, "see ya" make the check out to_____________!

[I Am Right]

People are animals. But that is no excuse. When there are kids involved, you gotta think about the consequences.

Good Call

[Soonerwake]

Seriously, I don't think that is fair. If there are children involved, it could be about better man or it could be about the wuss. And, maybe that is different from your idea. You can hate the cheater but it is hard to hate the kids.

I got a phone call like three years into a relationship for my friend and there was a frantic woman and a baby crying in the background...

The dude did his best in becoming a responsible father and got a job. He is a great dad as far as I can tell. His family adopted me and they still love me as one of their own. I adopted the kids as a godfather figure and they are great kids. But, I was really ugly in seducing their father because I knew I could. I was also really ugly in calling their mother really ugly names. Her nickname is chep (the sound a young chick makes). I still call her cheap.

Call me an animal all you want because I am one.

I did, and I see my son twice a year as a result. But, his life is much better than it would have been with a dad who was miserable.

[C&CDean]

Seriously, I don't think that is fair. If there are children involved, it could be about better man or it could be about the wuss. And, maybe that is different from your idea. You can hate the cheater but it is hard to hate the kids.

I got a phone call like three years into a relationship for my friend and there was a frantic woman and a baby crying in the background...

The dude did his best in becoming a responsible father and got a job. He is a great dad as far as I can tell. His family adopted me and they still love me as one of their own. I adopted the kids as a godfather figure and they are great kids. But, I was really ugly in seducing their father because I knew I could. I was also really ugly in calling their mother really ugly names. Her nickname is chep (the sound a young chick makes). I still call her cheap.

Call me an animal all you want because I am one.
I gotta call fowl on this pile of chicken dung Chuck.

Staying married "because of the kids" is the worst ****ing reason in the world to stay married. You ain't doing the kids a single favor - in fact, you're exposing them to two people who don't trust each other and are faking a complete lie of a life together. Kids are smart. They figure all that **** out. Staying together because of the kids is stupid, selfish (yes I said selfish) and it's teaching your kids that you and their other parent are POS liars.

Now how is it selfish? It's the coward's way out. It's the order #2 chicken**** delight on a stick. It's easier to live a life of misery and lies than it is to nut up and move the **** on. It takes nads to leave a financially comfortable situation with a lot of knowns and go out into the cruel, dark world. However, I did it, and I know several other who have done it, and every single person I know who did it is happier and much better off for it. So are their kids. Kids are gonna love the parents no matter what. Hell, kids love a parent that is a needle-using prostitute who pimps them out for drugs. They'll damn sure love a parent who is being honest and responsible and keeping them from having to live in a miserable home full of lies.

I won't argue that a lot of people are animals. but a lot more people are selfish

[OUMallen]

Deano is right on again. Staying together for the kids? That doesn't make sense on any level. If you're a good parent, you're a good parent whether you're divroced from mommy or not.

[Pricetag]

Any man that can "work it out" after she cheats is either more of a man than me or is a wuss. I haven't figured out which is which.

Been there, done that. Moved on for my own sanity...
It happens both ways. There is no classification that can be applied to all cases.

I think it's important to acknowledge that the gravity of the offense depends upon the level of commitment. Dating relationships are one thing, and it really depends upon the age of the people involved. A marriage is an entirely different level of commitment, a marriage with children, another.

I was a wuss in the beginning. But I'm proud of the fact that although it was not graceful, I did forgive.

But my case was the lightest on the gravity scale I described above--I don't pretend to understand how awful it would be to be involved in one of the marriage scenarios. Now that we have children, whether or not I could ever forgive my wife for what she did to me would be irrelevant--I don't think I could ever forgive her for cheating on our children, too, and that's exactly what an unfaithful parent does.

[hellogoodbye]

Whats worse to me (on the gravity scale) is seeing cheating women have a baby just to keep their good man around. The ultimate redemption\forgiveness nuke option.

Hasn't happened to me, but Ive seen it in a couple of different women Ive happened to have known.

[StoopTroup]

I'm going to side with the Kids everytime. You had them...you raise them. If one of you doesn't want to work it out and it's easier on you to bolt and go on with your life...you missed the whole reason for getting married and having kids. Our society has continued to whittle away at the concept of being a Family since the 70's.

I've seen lots of different solutions...but the one where the kids don't continue to think dysfunctional is the norm...is the best.

As Dean stated though....there are going to be times where it's not in the best interest of the kids if the Adults can't act like Adults. Marriage is hard work. If it was easy...wouldn't wouldn't see to many divorces. If you aren't cut out for it...you aren't cut out for it.

I'm glad I had a Mom and Dad. I saw my Father wrestle with what an ******* his Father was even after we put Grandpa in the ground. It sucks. He really wished it could have been different. The 1930's were very hard on people. The 22nd Century isn't starting off much better.

[dolemitesooner]

Being a kid raised in a home where 2 people did not love each other I have to say that people should never stay together just for the kids.

Its not best for the kids. In anyway shape or form. The kids see what is going on.

This is why I will probably never be married. Women want kids asap, and I will have to have 100% complete trust before I raise a child. I have not found that yet.

[C&CDean]

Biieing a KKid raised in ahoEme where 2 peeoplE didNT not love eachh OTer I haV1ve s ay that people should never stay together just for the kids.

Its not best for the kids. In anyway shape or form. The kids see what is going on.

This is why I will probably never be married. Women want kids asap, and I will have to have 100% complete trust before I raise a child. I have not found that yet.

Who are you, and what have you done with dOLeioO?!1?

[badger]

ABC had a lot of stories on Tiger's infidelity and they seem to suggest that Elin is going to get a good divorce attorney, wait for all his name to be drug through the mud for a few more months, then take as much as she can from Tiger.

The stories also suggested that Tiger confided with his HS girlfriend that he was upset a lot because he caught his dad cheating on his mom and that he used to be shy, until he turned pro and got the huge Nike deal.

[Scott D]

Nope. Not ever. Never.

Why? Cause the only glue that can hold a relationship together is trust. Complete and total trust. Once your girlfriend has gone out and sang into another man's microphone it's over. Same goes for if the guy goes out and plays hide the sausage with some bimbo.

Sure, some people "work it out" but trust me, it ain't ever worked out. 30 years later you still won't be trusted, and there'll be angst in the relationship. Walk the **** away and start over. It ain't that hard/bad.

pssht....that's why I don't trust nobody muh****ah...nobody ain't ever given me a reason to start....so there.

[Scott D]

I want to be delicate here but dude, seriously. What do you think he was doing there?

Can we just rename this guy SicEmJr already? ;)

[Viking Kitten]

The stories also suggested that Tiger confided with his HS girlfriend that he was upset a lot because he caught his dad cheating on his mom and that he used to be shy, until he turned pro and got the huge Nike deal.

Was that before or after he banged the HS girlfriend?

[Chuck Bao]

I gotta call fowl on this pile of chicken dung Chuck.

Staying married "because of the kids" is the worst ****ing reason in the world to stay married. You ain't doing the kids a single favor - in fact, you're exposing them to two people who don't trust each other and are faking a complete lie of a life together. Kids are smart. They figure all that **** out. Staying together because of the kids is stupid, selfish (yes I said selfish) and it's teaching your kids that you and their other parent are POS liars.

Now how is it selfish? It's the coward's way out. It's the order #2 chicken**** delight on a stick. It's easier to live a life of misery and lies than it is to nut up and move the **** on. It takes nads to leave a financially comfortable situation with a lot of knowns and go out into the cruel, dark world. However, I did it, and I know several other who have done it, and every single person I know who did it is happier and much better off for it. So are their kids. Kids are gonna love the parents no matter what. Hell, kids love a parent that is a needle-using prostitute who pimps them out for drugs. They'll damn sure love a parent who is being honest and responsible and keeping them from having to live in a miserable home full of lies.

I won't argue that a lot of people are animals. but a lot more people are selfish

My story was about a deadbeat dad that decided to do the right thing and marry the woman and take care of his new born son. I think that that was my point about children or rather cheating leading to children. Maybe he didn't plan for that to happen, but it did. By the way, abortions are illegal in Thailand.

Selfish or greedy or sexually promiscuous people are animals, as I see them. Or, maybe I just have an unrealistic expectation of people. A former prime minister of Thailand asked Thai politicians whether they are animals or they want to join the human race. Heh!

[SteelClip49]

well...it's over with. I went up to her place and we talked for a little bit, had one last HOORAH...felt good too and I told her that I am done with having all these thoughts about what could be happening to her after work or on the weekends I am not with her.

She said that, "I thought you trusted me and here you go backing out."

I then said... "Trust is earned and never given out easily. Once you do something regretful and you can be forgiven but you are never ultimately forgiven because how do I know that you will not do it again basically after you played me and lied to me and said you truly were looking for a guy like me?"

She was confused about why we had sex before this took place and I said that I wanted to go out on top and enjoy something what she will truly miss and that is love, real love and not just a cheap thrill.

I could have given in and just kept going but I refuse to be a guinea pig and I refuse to let her think she can get away with something and me be sympathetic. Screw that...I have a lot to live for.

I will just keep on living and let happen!

[Fraggle145]

And you saved some money on gifts... :O

[OUMallen]

well...it's over with. I went up to her place and we talked for a little bit, had one last HOORAH...felt good too and I told her that I am done with having all these thoughts about what could be happening to her after work or on the weekends I am not with her.

She said that, "I thought you trusted me and here you go backing out."

I then said... "Trust is earned and never given out easily. Once you do something regretful and you can be forgiven but you are never ultimately forgiven because how do I know that you will not do it again basically after you played me and lied to me and said you truly were looking for a guy like me?"

She was confused about why we had sex before this took place and I said that I wanted to go out on top and enjoy something what she will truly miss and that is love, real love and not just a cheap thrill.

I could have given in and just kept going but I refuse to be a guinea pig and I refuse to let her think she can get away with something and me be sympathetic. Screw that...I have a lot to live for.

I will just keep on living and let happen!

Atta boy.

I always wanted to be in that situation. Once you get the panties off, sorta toss them at her and say, "I just wanted to see if you were as easy as you were the first time." Walk out.

[C&CDean]

People forgive. They NEVER forget. If your tale is true, good on you. And of course the obligatory: did you hit her in the pooper?

[Soonerwake]

And you saved some money on gifts... :O

Use that money wisely, young 'un. Go straight to the lap dances...

[adoniijahsooner]

ABC had a lot of stories on Tiger's infidelity and they seem to suggest that Elin is going to get a good divorce attorney, wait for all his name to be drug through the mud for a few more months, then take as much as she can from Tiger.

The stories also suggested that Tiger confided with his HS girlfriend that he was upset a lot because he caught his dad cheating on his mom and that he used to be shy, until he turned pro and got the huge Nike deal.

I thought Florida was a no fault divorce state. Shouldnt that make the adultery meaningless in the eyes of the judge?

[StoopTroup]

Did he even do the Adultery in Florida? I'm thinking it was more a multi-state kind of Bromance....:D

[SteelClip49]

Dating is fun to a certain point then it begins to suck. It becomes a chore and quite exhausting. Now I will just fully concentrate and focus on getting into Graduate School and just go on my merry way with life.

I am 26 so it's like not all is lost. She is 29, has nothing higher than a HS diploma, has worked in customer service for 10 years and is an Oklahoma State fan....so really I am losing nothing.

Maybe I can use the money I was going to spend on 100% pure OVJ :)

[Scott D]

Did he even do the Adultery in Florida? I'm thinking it was more a multi-state kind of Bromance....:D

heh pretty sure it doesn't matter where the infidelity occurs, but rather where the marriage license is signed.

[OUMallen]

Dating is fun to a certain point then it begins to suck. It becomes a chore and quite exhausting. Now I will just fully concentrate and focus on getting into Graduate School and just go on my merry way with life.

I am 26 so it's like not all is lost. She is 29, has nothing higher than a HS diploma, has worked in customer service for 10 years and is an Oklahoma State fan....so really I am losing nothing.

Maybe I can use the money I was going to spend on 100% pure OVJ :)

Doesn't sound like a good match. You're better off. Party time! :D

[olevetonahill]

So ya Hit One Mo time fer Old times sake
Good on ya .. But Did ya get a Gift FROM her before ya split ?

[SteelClip49]

Oh yes Ole Vet....I got my one last hoorah from her. I made it count. It sucks letting go because of everything we did together but all is well.

I think I should stick with college educated women. Is that being too selfish?

[Viking Kitten]

No, that's being smart.

[OUMallen]

Oh yes Ole Vet....I got my one last hoorah from her. I made it count. It sucks letting go because of everything we did together but all is well.

I think I should stick with college educated women. Is that being too selfish?

Are you kidding me? I think you need some self-esteem, buddy! :bsmf:

You're stupid not to go for the best you can get. How on earth would that be selfish?

[olevetonahill]

Oh yes Ole Vet....I got my one last hoorah from her. I made it count. It sucks letting go because of everything we did together but all is well.

I think I should stick with college educated women. Is that being too selfish?

Iffen yer a Bible believer
Paul says to "Be Not unequally yoked " or somethin close to that .
So No
Get ya a smart one;)

[1890MilesToNorman]

The smart ones **** me off! I prefer the nekked ones.

[Pricetag]

People forgive. They NEVER forget.
This is true. Forgiveness is an empty concept without remembrance.

Good on ya, FmrEmpOUathdept. That took courage. Speaking of remembrance, be advised that this girl will never forget you. She will try to step back in your life somewhere down the road. Girls who outkick their coverage always do.

[SteelClip49]

I have plenty of self-esteem but at the same time I set my standards low and just don't think as far as this matter is concerned which I know is not a good mix. I have no regrets...just learn from the past and move on to better things. Job wise I have moved up nicely and the same disciplines, approaches I have taken while moving up the job ladder should be the same for relationships/dating.

Cheaters never prosper, they just decline and think they have a lot to offer. But all they have to offer is GARBAGE!

[badger]

People forgive. They NEVER forget.
Perhaps, but do you still hold it against you that your older brother would tattle on you if you were playing with toys instead of cleaning your room when he was 7?

With this silly example in mind, I would say that people may not forget, but the things they remember they may not care as much about if they've truly forgiven you.

[C&CDean]

Another tidbit of advice that will take you a very long ways:

Do not put standards or criteria on your picks. By this I mean don't say she has to have a college degree, blonde hair, brown eyes, big titties, wide ***, narrow ***, long legs, no freckles, etc. Be open to anything. Also, don't go out searching for it. There's a brazilian dumbasses out at the bars every night searching for Mr/Ms Right. Don't go out and start talking about your ex with the first girl you meet either. Them bitches know man. When you go out and just relax and have a good time and are not seeking the poon, it will fall smooth into your lap.

[C&CDean]

Perhaps, but do you still hold it against you that your older brother would tattle on you if you were playing with toys instead of cleaning your room when he was 7?

With this silly example in mind, I would say that people may not forget, but the things they remember they may not care as much about if they've truly forgiven you.

I don't have an older brother.

And getting busted for playing with toys by a tattletale does not = getting busted dipping your wick in the neighbor's daughter, no?

I get your point about caring and stuff, but your spouse/mate is someone you have to be able to trust 100%. Your brother? Not so much.

[JohnnyMack]

Another tidbit of advice that will take you a very long ways:

Do not put standards or criteria on your picks. By this I mean don't say she has to have a college degree, blonde hair, brown eyes, big titties, wide ***, narrow ***, long legs, no freckles, etc. Be open to anything. Also, don't go out searching for it. There's a brazilian dumbasses out at the bars every night searching for Mr/Ms Right. Don't go out and start talking about your ex with the first girl you meet either. Them bitches know man. When you go out and just relax and have a good time and are not seeking the poon, it will fall smooth into your lap.

God knows if your wife had any sort of standards your *** would still be sitting on a bar stool at Velma's Lounge in Lexington. You lucky bastard.

[C&CDean]

God knows if your wife had any sort of standards your *** would still be sitting on a bar stool at Velma's Lounge in Lexington. You lucky bastard.

The only bar in Lex is the 89er Club, and momma only goes for the best. And it's "Arrogant Lucky Bastard" to you sir.

[BASSooner]

Another tidbit of advice that will take you a very long ways:

Do not put standards or criteria on your picks. By this I mean don't say she has to have a college degree, blonde hair, brown eyes, big titties, wide ***, narrow ***, long legs, no freckles, etc. Be open to anything. Also, don't go out searching for it. There's a brazilian dumbasses out at the bars every night searching for Mr/Ms Right. Don't go out and start talking about your ex with the first girl you meet either. Them bitches know man. When you go out and just relax and have a good time and are not seeking the poon, it will fall smooth into your lap.

BINGO! I think one of the many problems though is that there are people that know it but don't follow it very well. I still do sometimes. I remember when I got my girlfriend. I just had the "f*ck-it" attitude. I thought that there was no point into getting a girlfriend at all. I was enjoying life and then..boom, she came in out of the blue and we talked for a while. Now we're going out.

I think the main thing is to have VERY HIGH self-esteem and just not care about girlfriend/boyfriend thing. That stuff is hard to do, I struggle with it still (self-esteem) but granted, it works wonders if you just go out and give it a shot.

[C&CDean]

I don't know man, when I was young, dumb, and full of cum there was only one thing on my mind. Poon. Of course being young and dumb, I fell in love with every girl I poned, which only led to more confusion/problems/complications.

Anyhow, just enjoy yourself and fuhget about it and it will happen on it's own.

[Soonerwake]

Another tidbit of advice that will take you a very long ways:

Do not put standards or criteria on your picks. By this I mean don't say she has to have a college degree, blonde hair, brown eyes, big titties, wide ***, narrow ***, long legs, no freckles, etc. Be open to anything. Also, don't go out searching for it. There's a brazilian dumbasses out at the bars every night searching for Mr/Ms Right. Don't go out and start talking about your ex with the first girl you meet either. Them bitches know man. When you go out and just relax and have a good time and are not seeking the poon, it will fall smooth into your lap.

How about Brazilian dumbasses with big titties, long legs, and blonde hair? :D

[Scott D]

How about Brazilian dumbasses with big titties, long legs, and blonde hair? :D

Brazilian? "she" probably has a dick bigger than yours too ;)

[C&CDean]

That ain't sayin' much...

[olevetonahill]

You Dufuses that will let a woman screw around on ya are DUM
Hell I chunk em out the shack fer talkin to dayum much:cool:

[Crucifax Autumn]

OR for talking at all right? OR wearing shoes? lmao

[the_ouskull]

Ladies...if your man/men if your woman cheated on you and there is sympathy and sorrow by the guilty side, would you give them a second chance?

Quick Answer: No.

If you're dim-witted or have the attention span of the average American, feel free to bow out now.

Long Answer: No.

The sorrow that you see is sorrow that they were caught and are now in a situation in which they have no recourse but to be sorrowful. The sympathy you feel is for yourself. Ignore it. Yes, it's difficult to go out and start over, and yes, it's difficult to ignore months, years, etc.. of shared experiences, etc... and just say, "Get the f*ck out." It's not easy.

But, it IS necessary.

None of what you thought meant the world to you does, in fact, mean the world to you if the world on which it is based is a lie from the bottom up. Drunken indiscretion, or carefully-planned rendezvous, cheating is cheating.

If you're the kind of person who is prone to drunken mistakes, then either don't drink, don't drink with people who won't take care of you, or don't go out when you drink. If you care about your relationship, then you have to choose one of those three. None were chosen.

If it is something that has been going on for a while, to me, that's easier to deal with because it's easier to throw the "f*ck you" out there and call it a day.

But, in either (any) case, the bottom line is this: What you had, regardless of what it meant to YOU, meant little enough to THEM (her) to disregard, so is it really worth trying to "fix," with someone who is obviously NOT housebroken...?

The answer is, "No."

Don't take a cheater back simply because YOU are lazy.

Edit: After reading the rest of the thread, a few more things...


I had a wife who would look me in my eyes, speak in soft tones, and just lie as though she was washing dishes. Also, I know numerous married women who have hardworking, good fathers at home, and they will cheat without any remorse.

Complete truth. I'm also somewhat ashamed (which NEVER happens to me) to admit it, but I've been the guy pretending not to see her ring before, too. Never ceases to amaze, but it's almost ALWAYS about a connection, sexual or otherwise, that they're not getting at home.


I went upstairs, packed a duffle bag witha couple of days worth of clothes and **** and said I'd be back on the weekend to pack my stuff up and move out.

No way I leave, here. She can sleep on the couch if she won't leave, MAYBE, but there's no way SHE screws up and I'M the one that leaves.


She is 29, has nothing higher than a HS diploma, has worked in customer service for 10 years, and is an Oklahoma State fan.

Once again, I feel like the "pooper?" question needs to come up, and this is an ideal time. "People," or girls, rather, I guess, of "schools" like Oklahoma A&M and UTerus... well, they deserve the sh*t burgers life grills up for 'em. One of my most proud, and most pathetic, moments as a college football fan is a direct result of taking a rivalry a little too far in the wake of a 73-21 loss.

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All in all, after reading the rest of the thread, it sounds like you did the right thing - once you answer the pooper question, that is, and congrats for doing it. Now, what's going to be difficult is picking up your phone out of habit, just to "see how she's doing," etc... Erase her number, or, if you leave it in your phone, change the ringtone to something lame, and the name to "Whoredon'tanswerit."

Or, if you DO answer it, only do so for a booty call, and, in those instances, 1) ALWAYS wrap up, and 2) be the d*ckhead guy you've always wanted to be, but were always worried about societal pressures.

To do this correctly, you should: finish, get up, rip *ss, throw the used condom in bed with her; preferably under the sheets - or even better - in her purse, wipe yourself off on a few household items (curtains, chairs, desks, documents) on your way to the bathroom. Once there, if you need to dump, do so, and leave it without flushing afterwards. Change back into your clothes, and, as soon as you exit the bathroom, leave the apartment too. If you feel like you HAVE to say goodbye, then a simple "bye" will do. No need to get emotional. She treated your relationship like cheap sex. Now she gets to see what that wrought her.

It's not easy, but it is fun, and, for teaching people the dangers of messing with you, it's almost necessary. I know that I certainly enjoyed doing it. I mean, uh... WOULD enjoy doing it. :D

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the_ouskull

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Post Script -- Let me please go on the record here as saying that, as far as this advice goes, I am a complete hypocrite. I have been the cheater. In fact, I have been that guy more than just a couple of times. I have begged for forgiveness, and I have made promises that it would never happen again, etc... At one point, I was even moved out of a girlfriend's place by her friends one afternoon, only to be back in there later that same evening.

But, it is from that mindset that I present my advice to you. I am not always a morally sound person, no, but I am a intellectually sound person, and I am an honest person. When I said those things, to the girls to whom I have said them, I have only truly meant them once. Chances are, what you're hearing is what I've already said: their sorrow is at being caught; exposed for the person that they truly are. Their fear is of not knowing what's going to happen to them next, not of losing you.

However, I do NOT buy the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mantra that women who watch Oprah and The View pass around via e-mails as if it were a lost Psalm. I have reformed. I no longer stray in relationships. But, I DO believe that, once a relationship has been tainted by cheating, it needs to end. It's like meat going bad in your freezer. Sure, you can clean the p*ss out of it; make it sparkle, but you're always going to smell the faintest hint of rotted meat.

Good luck to you.