Rumor-mill has it that Tiger Woods' Scandinavian wife went viking on him...

[Okla-homey]

this could get interesting.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/28/tiger-woods-elin-nordegren-fight-accident-suv-lacerations/#

[Penguin]

Yeah, a single car accident in the middle of the night. Something weird was going on.

[picasso]

He had a busted lip. Probably from the steering wheel.

Try driving your car into a solid object at 35 mph without a belt on.

Either way I don't get it. It's none of our business if they were having a fight.


I also don't give a **** what Brad and Angelina are up to.

[yermom]

i already broke this story :D

[SanJoaquinSooner]

Try driving your car into a solid object at 35 mph without a belt on.



I tried pulling out of my driveway at 35 mph and I couldn't do it.

[TUSooner]

I tried pulling out of my driveway at 35 mph and I couldn't do it.

Maybe you could if you were being chased by a berserk Viking wife with a 3-wood. And if you had mile-long driveway

That said, I don't care of they were having a fight--- or whatever. I'm already wanting the thing to blow over.

[12]

I call dibs.

[olevetonahill]

It really isnt any of our business.
Its just funny as hell tho :D

[lexsooner]

He had a busted lip. Probably from the steering wheel.

Try driving your car into a solid object at 35 mph without a belt on.

Either way I don't get it. It's none of our business if they were having a fight.


I also don't give a **** what Brad and Angelina are up to.

Or course she may have busted him up in the house before he ran out and tried his get-away. She then probably chased after the car and busted up the Caddy with a golf club and he then lost control and got hurt even more. It proves the old say that Hell hath no fury greater than a woman's scorn. Especially a normally stoic Scandanavian Viking woman.

[yermom]

of course, this is all after he ran the skank he was cheating with down the garbage disposal in typical Viking fashion

[royalfan5]

My favorite part of the story is that the alleged mistress was also allegedly involved with David Boreanaz.

[olevetonahill]

Sounds to me like he needs to spend More time
On the " Driving Range" :P

[Turd_Ferguson]

I seen his wife at the Byron Nelson when she was Jesper's nanny. That girl was smok'n then.

[Curly Bill]

I seen his wife at the Byron Nelson when she was Jesper's nanny. That girl was smok'n then.

Did you hit it? ;)

[lexsooner]

of course, this is all after he ran the skank he was cheating with down the garbage disposal in typical Viking fashion

That is probably the modern day Viking solution to this problem. I thought back in the day Viking women stabbed themselves and bled out if their king died, and all of them were burned in a wooden ship or something. Or maybe I am confusing this with a bad Brian Bosworth movie. My Nordic history is a bit hazy.

[yermom]

yeah, i'm talking modern Viking women :D

[SoonerStormchaser]

This thread is worthless without VK!

[Viking Kitten]

As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

Sounds like she triple bogeyed before landing on the green.

[StoopTroup]

ttZSjajdRd8&feature=popt00us01

[tulsaoilerfan]

I'm sure the divorce lawyers are salivating at the prospects at dividing up the Woods fortune; wonder if Eldrick has a pre nup?

[badger]

TMZ sure is publicizing a bunch of stuff that's hard to retract today.

[OU4LIFE]

I'm sure the divorce lawyers are salivating at the prospects at dividing up the Woods fortune; wonder if Eldrick has a pre nup?

uh ya think? He's got a pre-nup, and pre-pre-nup AND a 'bitch you get nothing' nup.

[Sooner04]

For those keeping score at home: Eldrick can play 91 holes at Torrey Pines on a broken leg, but he can't play 72 at Sherwood with a cut lip.

Linkage (http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/news?slug=ap-woods-accident&prov=ap&type=lgns)

[olevetonahill]

He dont want to show the Cuts on his face from his woman
Has any one seen any pics of the Car ?

[Viking Kitten]

Stupid network anchor just posed the question whether Tiger's public image would be able to recover from this incident. Ummmm, honey, if Michael Vick can get back in the NFL after f**king electrocuting a dog, I think Tiger can bounce back from a marital spat. Jeez I hate news people.

[Breadburner]

Stupid network anchor just posed the question whether Tiger's public image would be able to recover from this incident. Ummmm, honey, if Michael Vick can get back in the NFL after f**king electrocuting a dog, I think Tiger can bounce back from a marital spat. Jeez I hate news people.

How bout Kobe Bryant puttin it up that poor white girls poop chute....

[Boomer_Sooner_sax]

For those keeping score at home: Eldrick can play 91 holes at Torrey Pines on a broken leg, but he can't play 72 at Sherwood with a cut lip.

Linkage (http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/news?slug=ap-woods-accident&prov=ap&type=lgns)

Haha...it is hard to avoid cameras when they follow you around like little lost puppy dogs. Maybe I can watch golf this week because I actually like other golfers than him. Awesome!

[Scott D]

Stupid network anchor just posed the question whether Tiger's public image would be able to recover from this incident. Ummmm, honey, if Michael Vick can get back in the NFL after f**king electrocuting a dog, I think Tiger can bounce back from a marital spat. Jeez I hate news people.

how else do you think they become network anchors...I mean other than their fathers impregnating their mothers up the poop chute as another poster so ineloquently put it ;)

[olevetonahill]

So has anyone seen any Pictures of the Car ?

[JohnnyMack]

So has anyone seen any Pictures of the Car ?

http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/30/tiger-woods-accident-eye-witness-account-elin-nordegren/

[olevetonahill]

http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/30/tiger-woods-accident-eye-witness-account-elin-nordegren/

Thanks
I was reserving judgment till I saw them

Yup the Bitch went psycho, Chased him with a golf club and caused the ****.

Why she have to smash the Back glass to get him out when the driver door aint hurt ?


Im thinkin Wanda has it right .:D :D :D :D :D

Like I said It aint Nunya.
But it is pretty dayum funny

[picasso]

Thanks
I was reserving judgment till I saw them

Yup the Bitch went psycho, Chased him with a golf club and caused the ****.

Why she have to smash the Back glass to get him out when the driver door aint hurt ?


Im thinkin Wanda has it right .:D :D :D :D :D

Like I said It aint Nunya.
But it is pretty dayum funny
She said the doors were locked Vet. I'm not taking sides but I fail to see the humor here.
Funny would be seeing a hillbilly wreck his car into the cinder blocks holding up the east side of his house.

[olevetonahill]

She said the doors were locked Vet. I'm not taking sides but I fail to see the humor here.
Funny would be seeing a hillbilly wreck his car into the cinder blocks holding up the east side of his house.

Humor is Open to interpretation .

So if the doors were locked , Why she Bust the Far back window out ?
Why not bust the back DOOR glass and reach in and unlock the front ?

[Scott D]

fwiw I wouldn't **** on Harvey Levin if he was on fire...in fact I'd probably look for lighter fluid.

[picasso]

So if the doors were locked , Why she Bust the Far back window out ?
Why not bust the back DOOR glass and reach in and unlock the front ?

Dunno Vet, I wasn't there.

[Turd_Ferguson]

Humor is Open to interpretation .

So if the doors were locked , Why she Bust the Far back window out ?
Why not bust the back DOOR glass and reach in and unlock the front ?because she busted that back glass out while he was try'n to get the **** outta there. She went Viking on his *** and he can't show his face public. Hell, he's back'n out of his own tourney. I could care less what's happening between him and his wife, I just think it's bull**** that he doesn't have to answer to the cops. If that was you or I, we'd either answer the police or be handcuffed.

[picasso]

because she busted that back glass out while he was try'n to get the **** outta there. She went Viking on his *** and he can't show his face public. Hell, he's back'n out of his own tourney. I could care less what's happening between him and his wife, I just think it's bull**** that he doesn't have to answer to the cops. If that was you or I, we'd either answer the police or be handcuffed.

Actually we wouldn't. Read the Florida law on this.

[OU4LIFE]

Humor is Open to interpretation .

So if the doors were locked , Why she Bust the Far back window out ?
Why not bust the back DOOR glass and reach in and unlock the front ?

she did, look at the pics. Driver side passenger door window busted out.

[beer4me]

My ex-wife was nordic and crazy as a loon, she chased me a time or two with objects she intended to plant into my flesh.

I can sympathize with Tiger.

[olevetonahill]

she did, look at the pics. Driver side passenger door window busted out.

I see that now
I were just going on them sayin the Back Glass :O

Still find it humorous tho :D

[Scott D]

I see that now
I were just going on them sayin the Back Glass :O

Still find it humorous tho :D

to be honest, TMZ would say that she used a crane and tore the top of the car open in order to beat him if it was going to get them more viewers on tv and more hits on their website.

[the_ouskull]

I didn't read the rest of this thread.

My thoughts, the same as they've been since I first heard details about the accident:

- If she was heroically pulling him from the S.U.V., why didn't she break out a window a little closer to where he was sitting?

So, based solely on that, I think this:

- They fought, he, like many men - rich or otherwise - decided some "alone time" would be best, gets in his ride, and starts leaving.
- B*tches is crazy. She does NOT feel the conversation is over yet, grabs nearest item, which, at the Woods Estate, had BETTER be a golf club. (Sincerely, Nike)
- She follows him out, and, when he won't stop, gets his attention by busting out the rear window.
- This distracts him, (obviously) 'causing the wreck.

Whether the facial injuries he sustained happened before the wreck or not will be difficult to determine, although they will be able to tell if they were caused by human hands, at least. But, once the wreck happened, and Clan Woods realized that they wouldn't be able to self-contain the incident, they got on the same page with their stories REALLY quickly; quickly enough to fool the Florida police, anyway.

Temporarily...

the_ouskull

[BillyBall]

Kobe Bryant

$4M dollar rings work wonders

.

[TUSooner]

I didn't read the rest of this thread.

My thoughts, the same as they've been since I first heard details about the accident:

- If she was heroically pulling him from the S.U.V., why didn't she break out a window a little closer to where he was sitting?

So, based solely on that, I think this:

- They fought, he, like many men - rich or otherwise - decided some "alone time" would be best, gets in his ride, and starts leaving.
- B*tches is crazy. She does NOT feel the conversation is over yet, grabs nearest item, which, at the Woods Estate, had BETTER be a golf club. (Sincerely, Nike)
- She follows him out, and, when he won't stop, gets his attention by busting out the rear window.
- This distracts him, (obviously) 'causing the wreck.

Whether the facial injuries he sustained happened before the wreck or not will be difficult to determine, although they will be able to tell if they were caused by human hands, at least. But, once the wreck happened, and Clan Woods realized that they wouldn't be able to self-contain the incident, they got on the same page with their stories REALLY quickly; quickly enough to fool the Florida police, anyway.

Temporarily...

the_ouskull

I'm pretty sure the rest of us Sherlocks have come to the same conclusion.

But speaking of Sherlock (Holmes, that is), Sherlock Holmes made his debut in "Beeton's Christmas Annual" on this very day in 1887. The story/novel: "A Study in Scarlet." Thank me later.

[StoopTroup]

America loves a good story...and it doesn't matter who it hurts to get it. I think they ought to leave them the heck alone.

[Okla-homey]

America loves a good story...and it doesn't matter who it hurts to get it. I think they ought to leave them the heck alone.

You gotta admit, if he had gone after her with a golf club, he'd have been arrested. We kinda have a double-standard.

[yermom]

well, assuming she talked to the cops...

i'm sure lots of chicks "crash their cars"

[SeattleOUstudent]

the one he allegedly had the affair with. I dont believe the whole story, but hello headlights!

http://www.hotmommagossip.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/rachel-uchitel.jpg

[SanJoaquinSooner]

courtesy Sooner Shemp

Tiger Woods jokes

It was just reported that Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up
some tips on how to beat Tiger!


Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She
said "I don't know exactly… but put me down for a 5."


Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a
hole-in-one.


What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a
ball 400 yards.



What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning? They
went clubbing.


Why did Tiger Woods crash into a fire hydrant and a tree? He couldn’t
decide between a wood and an iron.

[btk108]

America loves a good story...and it doesn't matter who it hurts to get it. I think they ought to leave them the heck alone.

Agreed....

[adoniijahsooner]

I had a bahamian women punch me in the eye before.

[VeeJay]

I had a bahamian women punch me in the eye before.

My first wife used to chase me around the apartment with a frying pan.

Damned lunatic.

[Okla-homey]

It's looking increasingly like he's been repeatedly unfaithful to his viking wife with various cocktail waitresses.

Hmmmm. Multi-brazilionaire sports figure who travels extensively being unfaithful to his wife. Shocking.;)

[badger]

Men of the board...

What would cause a guy like Tiger, who has everything - a lot of money, a beautiful ex-model wife, two kids, etc.- to cheat on his wife with some cocktail waitress?

Seriously. Mr Woods calls down from heaven: "Son, I am disappoint." [/meme]

[Bourbon St Sooner]

Men of the board...

What would cause a guy like Tiger, who has everything - a lot of money, a beautiful ex-model wife, two kids, etc.- to cheat on his wife with some cocktail waitress?

Seriously. Mr Woods calls down from heaven: "Son, I am disappoint." [/meme]

It's when you start thinking more with the small head than with the big head.

[Bourbon St Sooner]

btw, badge haven't you ruined enough of our wr's with your avatars. First, the Kenney avatar comes out and soon after the guy can't catch a cold. Then Tennell discovers he actually has hands until, need I say it. Now Broyles...

[KC//CRIMSON]

Elin Woods is going to murder somebody before this is over. I'm calling it now.

http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/kalika_moquin1.jpg
TIGER BE HUMPIN! Word has now leaked out that a third mistress–Las Vegas PR rep Kalika Moquin–gave Tiger Woods a chance to play on her short grass. I’m sure TMZ might have something to say about this.

We’re told Kalika Moquin met Tiger in 2006 at Light Nightclub in Las Vegas — and although she hung out with him all night, she had no clue she was out clubbin’ with one of the richest, most recognizable athletes on the planet.

Our sources say one of Kalika’s friends tipped her off to the obvious … and she eventually started hooking up with Tiger. –TMZ.


and



http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2009/12/1203%20Rachel%20Uchitel/gallery_main/gallery_main-1203_rachel_uchitel_00.jpg

The woman who started it all, Rachel Uchitel, is now reversing her denial about having an affair with Tiger Woods and has scheduled a press conference for today, according to TMZ. Apparently Tiger was urging her to lie via text which sparked his wife Elin to unleash a five iron frenzy of pain:

Sources say less than an hour before Tiger's accident, Rachel and Tiger were texting each other. Elin confronted Tiger and asked whom he was texting. She grabbed the phone and we're told she called Rachel to confront her. According to sources, Tiger and Elin began arguing and the phone broke in the process.
We're also told there was damage as a result of the altercation in the vestibule area of Tiger's home -- damage that cannot be easily repaired, and that is why Tiger would not let police come in.

I love how more and more details come out of this story, Elin Woods continues to look like the goddamn Swedish Hulk who you definitely won't like when she's angry. First, it was just the Escalade, now an entire vestibule? Jesus. And that's just the physical path of destruction. The Chicago Sun-Times reports Elin has already "revisted" her pre-nup:

On top of that, my source indicated Elin Nordegren Woods, the mother of Tiger's two children, has demanded -- and is getting -- a total rewrite on the couple's prenuptial agreement making the incentives for her to remain Mrs. Tiger Woods even more enticing.

At this point, the couple needed to remain married for 10 years in order for Woods' wife to collect a splitsville settlement of $20 million. I'm being told that time frame has been shortened -- and the dollar amount increased "substantially."

Let's hope that amount is increased "substantially" because I'm pretty sure Tiger Woods could fart and no less than 80 mil would fall out. The science is with me on this one.

[yermom]

so why sign a document like that if it can just be "revisited"?

i'm so never getting married ;)

[StoopTroup]

If I show up at the next event with a Cadillac medallion dressed up like pimp and keep following Tiger going..."Wats sup playa?"...

Wonder what would happen?

Not let in?

Thrown out?

Tiger comes after me with an iron on the fifth hole?

Jasper invites me for drink in the clubhouse?

[StoopTroup]

so why sign a document like that if it can just be "revisited"?

i'm so never getting married ;)

There's only a few states that will let you. :pop: :hot: ;)

[StoopTroup]

There's only a few states that will let you. :pop: :hot: ;)

Lord...I apologize for that one....please bless all the pygmies in Africa.

[sooneron]

All I know is, if I had Tiger's bank, I sure as **** wouldn't be driving a ****ing Caddy.

[badger]

btw, badge haven't you ruined enough of our wr's with your avatars. First, the Kenney avatar comes out and soon after the guy can't catch a cold. Then Tennell discovers he actually has hands until, need I say it. Now Broyles...

Yeah... I felt so miserable after the Kenney and ADron Tennell thing that I had a Nimmo avvie for a week... and then Nimmo didn't play at all versus OSU. Lol.

However, I think we can rest assured that I will replace the Broyles thing soon. I only did it because of the NYC Poke avvie bet. I made an orange one for him to match my crimson one.

Believe me, NP has reminded me of my avatar curse. If Broyles ends up stealing a coat during the bowl trip, or heaven forbid more gas, you can all take away my avvie privileges :(

[StoopTroup]

It's why I have the Rose Bowl Avie. It's high time we turn this **** arOUnd!