What would you do?

[85Sooner]

If you received a text out of the blue from your wife that she just euthanized your family pet of 17 years and is going to tell our kids that the dog died today while they were at school. Yes she was old, yes she peed everywhere (nothing new there) yes she barked all night long to get out of her crate BUT she was eating, playful with the other dog, wagged her tail, could still barely jump on the couch and was happy to see me everynight when I got home waiting by the door to give me licks etc.....

No jokes on this one please.

[StoopTroup]

What are you going to do about it now that it's done?

About all I could tell you is...that if it upset you that she didn't consider you before making the decision is that you might find that useful later when she needs you to make a decision in such a matter. I'd go easy. I know it hurts. Maybe she thought she was sparing you the agony?

[Boomer.....]

IMO, she definitely should have discussed it with you first.

[yermom]

i'd tell the kids that their mom and the dog were in an accident...


i'd be pretty pissed. sorry for your loss, man :(

i mean, i'm not an angry person, but i would certainly have words with an SO that put down my dog and told me after the fact

[Sooner04]

I do believe I'd put down the wife too.

[King Crimson]

that's a bad situation.

[LilSooner]

If you received a text out of the blue from your wife that she just euthanized your family pet of 17 years and is going to tell our kids that the dog died today while they were at school. Yes she was old, yes she peed everywhere (nothing new there) yes she barked all night long to get out of her crate BUT she was eating, playful with the other dog, wagged her tail, could still barely jump on the couch and was happy to see me everynight when I got home waiting by the door to give me licks etc.....

No jokes on this one please.

Divorce. Seriously.

[LosAngelesSooner]

Some medical issue could have crept up very quickly. Congestive heart failure comes on extremely quickly and an animal can go from playful to death's door in an hour or less...thus forcing her to make a very fast decision.

And the brief text could also be demonstrative of her own grief over the issue.

[JohnnyMack]

Were you out of pocket when this happened? Did she attempt to reach you or did she just load the pooch up and take to the vet and do it without telling you? I guess if you knew in advance that she was taking the dog to the vet and that this was a possibility and the vet said this was the best course you'd have to defer to her judgment. However to just take a pet like that to the vet and have them put down with no discussion is.......well......kinda ****ed up.

[yermom]

Some medical issue could have crept up very quickly. Congestive heart failure comes on extremely quickly and an animal can go from playful to death's door in an hour or less...thus forcing her to make a very fast decision.

And the brief text could also be demonstrative of her own grief over the issue.

well, yeah. i mean if the dog just collapsed today and she had to rush it off to the vet or something, that's one thing

[LosAngelesSooner]

I'm just sayin'...I'd give the WIFE the benefit of the doubt on this one.

[Soonrboy]

That's tough. Is she home with the dog all day and it's pee accidents? I'm laying here smelling my wife's cocker spaniel who has ear problems. She gets an infection every other week and it stinks to high heaven, no matter how much we doctor it. Vet wants to take out her ear canal. We've already had one eye taken out for something else. The dog is 14. I would have no problem putting the dog down, but I would def. talk to her about it first

[LilSooner]

I'm just sayin'...I'd give the WIFE the benefit of the doubt on this one.


Um negative. I'm a wife and would never not at least ask my husband his opinion before I made such an decision. As someone who has had a pet who was so sick that probably should have been put down there is always time to make a phone call to the significant other.

Sorry 85 but I agree with 04 you should put her down.

[85Sooner]

I was at work and was extremely PO'd but now after awhile to cool off, I am sure it was harder for her to have to actually do it. I knew the day was coming but nothing precipitated having to do it today. Thanks for the input and support. She was my baby for years and years. I guess those kisses this morning will have to go a long way.

[Okla-homey]

I was at work and was extremely PO'd but now after awhile to cool off, I am sure it was harder for her to have to actually do it. I knew the day was coming but nothing precipitated having to do it today. Thanks for the input and support. She was my baby for years and years. I guess those kisses this morning will have to go a long way.

What I'd do? I'd get a new puppy and get on with it. srsly.

[MamaMia]

I'm so sorry about your dog. I don't know what I would do about not be consulted.

[yermom]

What I'd do? I'd get a new puppy and get on with it. srsly.

i already knew you were dead inside. this just confirms it ;)

[Sooner_Havok]

You know, this might have been a blessing in disguise man. Making a date to do it sucks, hardcore. This way, instead of having a week or more of knowing your best friend is going, it just happened. While I can see where it would TOTALLY blow to find out about this out of the blue, knowing the date is coming is worse, I would think.

[Tailwind]

Must have come as quite a shock. I'm sure once you talked to her there was a fairly reasonable explanation. If not, that doesn't give much hope for the future of your relationship. RIP Ms Family Pet. You will be missed. :(

[A Sooner in Texas]

I'm really sorry, 85. I had to euthanize my cat on Friday ... she had helped me get through my divorce, so she was pretty special. She had been getting weaker and on Friday morning just had very little strength. I knew it was coming eventually but when I saw her barely able to walk knew the day was here.
Maybe your dog suddenly became very bad off and maybe your wife couldn't handle the emotion of having to tell you before she took the dog in. Maybe your wife also couldn't handle telling you via a phone call and could only text without breaking down.
It's hard either way, and I really am sorry.

[OUHOMER]

Sorry for your loss, I would hope the wife would have a reasonable explanation. I am with LAS on this one , give her the benefit of the doubt until you talk to her.

[SanJoaquinSooner]

Sorry for your loss. Pets are one of life's great pleasures.

Are you honest with yourself that it was "out of the blue?"

Sometimes people don't want to hear things that are painful to think about. At age 17 and signs of less-than-perfect health, it seems reasonable that the topic would or should have been discussed.

[SoonersEnFuego]

Be thankful that she took the lead on this.

[TMcGee86]

Yeah, I gotta admit, I have some admiration for your wife on this one. Not many would be willing to step up like that.

And we are only getting your side of the story here, and the unavoidable truth is you cannot see things from other peoples perspectives, so it's very possible that because of the love you felt for the pet, that you've admitted was a huge part of your life, you may have been slightly blinded to how bad off it was.

At this point, I'm thinking the wife did you a favor.

I could be wrong, like I said, it's hard going off of just one side of the equation here, but I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.

[TUSooner]

What I'd do? I'd get a new puppy and get on with it. srsly.

This^^^^

Even assuming that Wife was 100% wrong, your life will not be an inch better if you try to convince her of that, whether you succeed in convincing her or not. In the interest of candor, I'd let Wife know what I think, in as few words as possible and without bitterness. (I assume that's been done, in one way or another). Then I'd get a new dog ASAP.

[NormanPride]

Assuming the wife had a good reason, I agree with TU and Homey. But if she just got tired of the dog and had it put to rest, then that speaks of a huge lack of respect. Serious issues, my friend.

Even with a good reason, not letting you know beforehand seems really risky. I don't know your relationship or personality, so maybe this is something that happens regularly or isn't a big deal. For me, a decision this big is a joint thing no matter what the situation.

[Scott D]

Quality of life for a pet is always a difficult edge to walk. The dog we had to put down 2 months ago seemed normal in the morning the night we had to put her down, but between the time my wife left for work and I got home from work (roughly 2-3 hours), she had a stroke and at least 1 if not 2 seizures. It was a tough decision to take a dog we'd had for 15 years in to be put to sleep, but her quality of life in that short time span had degraded to a terrible degree, we couldn't be home 24 hours a day to keep her from wandering into corners and walls and potentially knocking something heavy onto herself.

The vet agreed that we made the best choice with the situation, and we both agreed that we would have felt more guilty had we not done what we did, and we'd come home to find that she had died from a shelf falling on her.

Basically I guess, there could be more to the story that either you haven't been told, or that you're not telling us. To me it sounds like this wasn't just a snap decision made by your wife, but rather some thought was put into it which included doing something while the kids weren't home to make it a little easier on them.

[85Sooner]

When I got home I just gave her a hug and told her that I knew what she did was very difficult and I left it at that and after having time to think about it I believe it was. Thanks for all the support again.

Brad

[TheHumanAlphabet]

I would wonder seriously about your wife. That (not discussing it beforehand) has to be the most nontrusting, mean thing I could think of. Along the lines of telling the kids the dog went to a farm... My wife would have gone out of her way to call and discuss or call and describe what happened. If you could text, I think you could have phoned. MY MIL when she was alive would just put a dog down if she didn't like it. I though that to be cruel, and I don't think that peeing or incontinent is a justification to put an animal down as long as they are not otherwise ill or in pain.

Regardless of my opinion, I am sure you made the correct choice of actions.

[soonerbrat]

It's not so much that she didn't discuss it beforehand...but telling you in a text? Not best decision.

I'm glad you've come to terms with it, and I'm very sorry for your loss.