Jacie
9/30/2009, 03:27 PM
The following is a Q&A 'tween Tom Dienhart of Rivals.com and Colorado coach, Dan Hawkins. Due to the cryptic nature of Dan's answers, I have provided translation. Obviously, there can be other interpretations of Dan-speak.
Is there one reason you can pinpoint as to why the season has started so roughly?
We just started a little slow. Dan's being modest
We got behind in both games They fell behind 17-0 in their first game, 13-0 in the second game
and had to alter a few things that way, so I think we faced a couple of momentum-changers. Like the opening kickoff
I think that was a lot of it. Not to smart but he's always thinking
I think we answered in the second half against Colorado State. Just not by enough
But in both cases, we just got gashed for some big plays. He just hates getting gashed
It was a scoreboard factor and an emotional factor. Two more novel terms for a loss
Do you regret making that comment about "10 wins, no excuses"?
The thing is, I never made that statement. Somebody put something on the Internet and everybody runs with it. You can always tell when a man is married when he breaks out the Deny Deny Deny Defense
When I talked about the expectation of excellence, what I talked about was the expectation of winning 10 games. Dan assumes that only an idiot would think the Buffs could actually win 10 games in 2009
But what came out was I guaranteed it and promised it. Where could anyone have gotten such a crazy idea? Oh yeah, that senior players banquet last December
I didn't say '10 wins, no excuses.' But why let the truth get in the way of a good story? Maybe you can't handle the truth, Dan
Did you get a sense of relief when you beat Wyoming?
I don't know if it was so much that. Does a bear s**t in the woods?
I liked the way our defense played, and we got our running game going. We didn't have to play from behind. Winning is so much better for my future job prospects
Do have anyone you have been talking to as a way of coping with the tough start?
Not really. My wife doesn't understand me
I just try to hunker down and keep working. I hide whenever the Athletic Director comes looking for me
We have a lot of people who are very supportive. I paid my secretary to tell the AD I am out of town
They know, and they've been through it. Three years and counting
You hang in there. I hope they don't fire me
It's not so much where I am calling people and asking, 'What do I do?' Don't they know I am a football coach, dammit!
Because you know what to do. He called the offense for the entire Toledo game with a Magic Eight Ball
Are you aware of any of negativity surrounding the team's slow start?
You know that stuff goes on out there. I don't read the paper, It's all just lies anyway
I don't get on the Internet More lies
and I don't really have an email address. Nor does he return phone calls
But you know there is some of that stuff on the periphery. And that's part of it. But you aren't living in it, that's for sure. Some are, Dan
Is everything in place for success at Colorado?
This place has a tremendous amount of potential, When you on the bottom of your conference standings, there is no where to go but up
and it went through a tremendous cultural situation [since the end of the Gary Barnett era] Some think it is going through one right now
that probably very few programs in the country ever have gone through. For sure, not many teams have had one player accuse another of rape
And I think every day there are new pieces put in place and growing. No translation available
I am going on my fourth year here, and I'll bet I have been around here in the athletic department probably longer than 75 percent of the people. If the Buffs don't improve soon this will cease to be a true statement
Has the offense been impacted by the loss of coordinator Mark Helfrich to Oregon?
Not at all. Prepare to throw him under the bus
Mark is a good coach and a smart guy and all that. Eleven wins in three seasons made him a hot commodity, eh
But the way we game plan and do things is more of a shared deal than one guy necessarily. Still looking for a scapegoat for that loss to Toledo
It's the same terminology, same formations, all that stuff. Those pesky football terms
It's not really a big change there. Losing coaches, losing games, it's all the same thing
Can you win the Big 12 North?
Yes, totally. Totally. Not a chance
Teams get hot. Kansas
Teams get cold. Colorado
You have some injuries. Excuses
There are a lot of things that can go on. Cheerleaders, that buffalo running around, anything to distract people from the way the Buffs have played so far
Will you be Colorado's coach in 2010?
Yep. I try to keep my feet on the ground and keep plugging. At least wait till my son graduates before you fire me
Is there one reason you can pinpoint as to why the season has started so roughly?
We just started a little slow. Dan's being modest
We got behind in both games They fell behind 17-0 in their first game, 13-0 in the second game
and had to alter a few things that way, so I think we faced a couple of momentum-changers. Like the opening kickoff
I think that was a lot of it. Not to smart but he's always thinking
I think we answered in the second half against Colorado State. Just not by enough
But in both cases, we just got gashed for some big plays. He just hates getting gashed
It was a scoreboard factor and an emotional factor. Two more novel terms for a loss
Do you regret making that comment about "10 wins, no excuses"?
The thing is, I never made that statement. Somebody put something on the Internet and everybody runs with it. You can always tell when a man is married when he breaks out the Deny Deny Deny Defense
When I talked about the expectation of excellence, what I talked about was the expectation of winning 10 games. Dan assumes that only an idiot would think the Buffs could actually win 10 games in 2009
But what came out was I guaranteed it and promised it. Where could anyone have gotten such a crazy idea? Oh yeah, that senior players banquet last December
I didn't say '10 wins, no excuses.' But why let the truth get in the way of a good story? Maybe you can't handle the truth, Dan
Did you get a sense of relief when you beat Wyoming?
I don't know if it was so much that. Does a bear s**t in the woods?
I liked the way our defense played, and we got our running game going. We didn't have to play from behind. Winning is so much better for my future job prospects
Do have anyone you have been talking to as a way of coping with the tough start?
Not really. My wife doesn't understand me
I just try to hunker down and keep working. I hide whenever the Athletic Director comes looking for me
We have a lot of people who are very supportive. I paid my secretary to tell the AD I am out of town
They know, and they've been through it. Three years and counting
You hang in there. I hope they don't fire me
It's not so much where I am calling people and asking, 'What do I do?' Don't they know I am a football coach, dammit!
Because you know what to do. He called the offense for the entire Toledo game with a Magic Eight Ball
Are you aware of any of negativity surrounding the team's slow start?
You know that stuff goes on out there. I don't read the paper, It's all just lies anyway
I don't get on the Internet More lies
and I don't really have an email address. Nor does he return phone calls
But you know there is some of that stuff on the periphery. And that's part of it. But you aren't living in it, that's for sure. Some are, Dan
Is everything in place for success at Colorado?
This place has a tremendous amount of potential, When you on the bottom of your conference standings, there is no where to go but up
and it went through a tremendous cultural situation [since the end of the Gary Barnett era] Some think it is going through one right now
that probably very few programs in the country ever have gone through. For sure, not many teams have had one player accuse another of rape
And I think every day there are new pieces put in place and growing. No translation available
I am going on my fourth year here, and I'll bet I have been around here in the athletic department probably longer than 75 percent of the people. If the Buffs don't improve soon this will cease to be a true statement
Has the offense been impacted by the loss of coordinator Mark Helfrich to Oregon?
Not at all. Prepare to throw him under the bus
Mark is a good coach and a smart guy and all that. Eleven wins in three seasons made him a hot commodity, eh
But the way we game plan and do things is more of a shared deal than one guy necessarily. Still looking for a scapegoat for that loss to Toledo
It's the same terminology, same formations, all that stuff. Those pesky football terms
It's not really a big change there. Losing coaches, losing games, it's all the same thing
Can you win the Big 12 North?
Yes, totally. Totally. Not a chance
Teams get hot. Kansas
Teams get cold. Colorado
You have some injuries. Excuses
There are a lot of things that can go on. Cheerleaders, that buffalo running around, anything to distract people from the way the Buffs have played so far
Will you be Colorado's coach in 2010?
Yep. I try to keep my feet on the ground and keep plugging. At least wait till my son graduates before you fire me