The Vent Thread

[ADs_Agent]

Dear Weird Guy at my work, do you seriously need a cup of coffee every 45 minutes? I get tired of seeing you continually walk past my desk 12 times a day. Why not ask your boss to put a pot near your desk so you can quit wasting 10 minutes to go and get a cup from the pot near mine. Plus, as often as you walk by my desk, people are speculating that you are secretly wishing to ask me out. I'm sorry sir, but I have a steady gf, plus if I see you walk up my stairs wearing a seer sucker suit and carrying some possies, I'll probably throw a stapler at you.

Sincerely,

ADs_Agent

[badger]

Dear sh!tty lawn,

I know that it's been a long time since you've endured five inches of rain in one night, but did you really need to erode as much as you did, just after I put down grass seed and mulch? Don't you realize that all of that runoff eroded part of my soul and that I'm this close to replacing you with the carpet they use at mini golf courses?

So anyways, sh!tty lawn, you are hereby on notice. Don't let the dogs dig giant holes in you. Don't let heavy rainfall push your soil around. Just stay green and healthy and we'll be cool.

Love,

~badger

[Boomer_Sooner_sax]

Dear dumb@$$ in front of me with your blinker on for the last 12 miles,

Please turn it off. TIA.

Boomer_Sooner_sax

[badger]

Dear dumb@$$ behind me who is texting on his Blackberry instead of driving,

I'll turn my blinker off when you turn your Innernets off.

j/k :D

[My Opinion Matters]

Dear subordinate that is inexiplicably unaware of how a profressional hierarchy works, I'm going to roundhouse kick you to the face if you don't come correct.

Hugs and Kisses,

MOM.

[1890MilesToNorman]

CEO's CFO's and COO's are dumber than dirt. Most are lucky bastages who found themselves in the right place at the right time.

[Boomer_Sooner_sax]

Dear dumb@$$ behind me who is texting on his Blackberry instead of driving,

I'll turn my blinker off when you turn your Innernets off.

j/k :D

But I am Twittering, or is it Tweeting, about bad drivers while i am driving!

[OUAlumni1990]

CEO's CFO's and COO's are dumber than dirt. Most are lucky bastages who found themselves in the right place at the right time.

They have that "intagible" quality that is so intagible, nobody knows what it is. But it helped 'em get there. But yeah, most of them are clueless.

[Chuck Bao]

Dear Asian stock market investors,

When I pronounced this as a good week in my stock market daily and recommended that you should continue buying, that did not mean that you should run to your local broker and dump your shares. See, you lose money and you make me look like an idiot. Stop that.

Now, look at Wall Street. I bet you wish you hadn’t sold yesterday.

And, stop reading message board posts saying that you should do the opposite of what I recommend. Here is a hint: those posts are written by competitors who are out to disparage my good name and reputation. Are you seriously going to take the financial advice from some crazed anonymous person posting silly stuff on a message board? Well, think about it.

[1890MilesToNorman]

Dear Asian stock market investors,

When I pronounced this as a good week in my stock market daily and recommended that you should continue buying, that did not mean that you should run to your local broker and dump your shares. See, you lose money and you make me look like an idiot. Stop that.

Now, look at Wall Street. I bet you wish you hadn’t sold yesterday.

And, stop reading message board posts saying that you should do the opposite of what I recommend. Here is a hint: those posts are written by competitors who are out to disparage my good name and reputation. Are you seriously going to take the financial advice from some crazed anonymous person posting silly stuff on a message board? Well, think about it.

Did I just buy or sell Chuck? No wonder you got all my money. :D

[tidalmouse]

Dear Leaves,
Please somhow magically disappear this Fall.I hate Raking and Gathering you worse than a Root Canal.
Sincerely,
tidalmouse

[KABOOKIE]

Dear office moron,
Stop looking at me when I go get a cup of coffee. In case you were wondering, I am the boss and I use my walk to the coffee pot to see just WTF everyone is doing. We all know your *** isn’t working because I pass by your desk at least 12 times a day and each time you’re on soonerfans.com.

[badger]

Dear college football polls,

You are no longer relevant. Stop existing because you are making everyone except Florida angry.

[nmsoonergirl]

Dear Albuquerque bicyclists,

Why the f*** do you think it's a good idea to talk on your freaking cell phone while riding in traffic?? Hang up, and maybe you'll notice all the stop signs that you keep running.

[Wishboned]

Dear person getting on the elevator when I'm trying to get off.

The law of physics is very clear when it comes to two objects occupying the same place at the same time.

That means you have to wait until I get off the elevator before you try shoving your rude *** on board.

[49r]

Vent! (http://physicsgeek.mu.nu/archives/218350.php)

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Dear burn on my hand,

Stop hurting. You make me sad.

Love,

Justin

[Lott's Bandana]

Dear Asian stock market investors,

When I pronounced this as a good week in my stock market daily and recommended that you should continue buying, that did not mean that you should run to your local broker and dump your shares. See, you lose money and you make me look like an idiot. Stop that.

Now, look at Wall Street. I bet you wish you hadn’t sold yesterday.

And, stop reading message board posts saying that you should do the opposite of what I recommend. Here is a hint: those posts are written by competitors who are out to disparage my good name and reputation. Are you seriously going to take the financial advice from some crazed anonymous person posting silly stuff on a message board? Well, think about it.


Dear Asian investors,

If you are reading the above post and then investing your money accordingly, peem me and I'll tell you a better place to put your Baht.

Khop khun khup,

Football Message Board Money Genius

[StoopTroup]

Dear Pharmacy....

You know I come here every month with the same damn prescriptions and you never make a mistake. Please double me up on the you know what's and quit making a big deal out of me filling out my own RXs.

I come to you for help not for you to make money. Why can't you be more of a giver.

Thanks for listening


ST



;)

[stoops the eternal pimp]

Dear Me,

Stop being so broke.

Signed,

Me...

[OUAlumni1990]

Dear Vicodin, you are ok in my book. :) hence, no reason to vent...

-OUAlum

[soonervegas]

Dear Employer,

Quit asking me to put in 60 hour work weeks, making billions of dollars per quarter, and rewarding me a a top performer with a 1% raise over the last 24 months.

Thanks-

SV

[StoopTroup]

you want them to take the raise back? :D ;)

[OUAlumni1990]

Dear Employer,

Quit asking me to put in 60 hour work weeks, making billions of dollars per quarter, and rewarding me a a top performer with a 1% raise over the last 24 months.

Thanks-

SV

I would reward them back by putting in 1% overtime.

[ADs_Agent]

Dear office moron,
Stop looking at me when I go get a cup of coffee. In case you were wondering, I am the boss and I use my walk to the coffee pot to see just WTF everyone is doing. We all know your *** isn’t working because I pass by your desk at least 12 times a day and each time you’re on soonerfans.com.

Hardie Har, that dude is lower on the totem pole than I am

[badger]

Dear economy,

Hibernation season is over. It's time to get off your bear butt and charge forward like a bull again. The cheap fast food deals and closing of crappy Circuit City was fun for awhile, but all of these downward spiral is kind of depressing for those out there losing their jobs, 401K's, etc. Come back economy!

[Jello Biafra]

dear NAACP,

quit yer bitching. you won the heisman. go away. stop bitching about white people making jokes about the president. he's the most powerful person in the world and we're quite sure he no longer needs your help.

[Jello Biafra]

wow with all the complaints we seem to have, im real suprised this thread died a slow agonizing death.

[sooneron]

http://amazingtextures.com/textures/data/media/6/vent_2.jpg

oh sorry!

[badger]

I'll find new stuff that really grinds my gears!

Dear outdated wall paper that house's previous owner left up,

Thank gawd that unlike your colleague in the spare you the previous owner didn't try to paint over you. However, you really suck. You're the wrong color, the wrong pattern, and you're really old, so it's time to euthanize you. You are coming down now. You might as well just make this easy and not try to cling so desperately to the wall. Just... let go. Move on... to the garbage can.