Mixed Marriages--Need Help!

[oudivesherpa]

Mixed Marriages—I Need HELP

I know I’ve heard other posters on this forum complain/talk about how to handle relatives who are fans of other teams and what scenarios have worked for you when dealing with relatives who are fans of other teams. I’ve got a problem and I need your help. I’m going to the BYU game in Arlington with my wife, my oldest son, his wife, my youngest son (29 yrs) and his fiancée. Everyone except my son’s fiancée is an OU fans. I have not met Jane (not her real name) yet, but according to my son she is 27, very hot, divorced with two kids, and a Mormon. So far nothing, upsets me. But Jane claims to be a big BYU fan even though she did not go the “Y” she has always rooted for BYU. In several phone conversations with my son and her, she’s told me how BYU is going to kick our behinds. While I’ve tried to be pleasant, and have even paid for their tickets to the game, airfare from Atlanta to Dallas, and hotel rooms, Jane keeps irritating me, the latest is she wants a separate room from my son, and she doesn’t want anyone to drinking at the game. I can’t believe it! I can’t believe my son would tolerate it, but when I talk with him he says he in love and wants to make her happy. If I don’t calm down, moderate my OU pride, my son will never speak to me again because of the way I’ve treated his fiancée.

I know several of you are married to Cowboy fans or to Longhorns fans, how to you handle the mixed marriage ? Do you go to games together? How do you get through football season?

BTW. If you see five us at the game in OU gear, drinking beer and one lady dressed in BYU gear with a popcorn tub over her head, that would be us.

Seriously, I need help on how to handle a weekend with an obnoxious (BYU) fan who is going to be my daughter in-law.

[unbiasedtruth]

tell her upfront and be polite that is she doesnt cease she will receive an *** whooping the same as BYU from OU. if se continues tell your son that you tried to reason with her and she is still heing a fool and obnoxious then put your foot upside her hindend.....

[Jacie]

Boys in one room, girls in the other?

[OUAlumni1990]

She seriously thinks BYU will whoop us?

[TXBOOMER]

In the middle of the second quarter ask her how she likes this azz kicking. It's hard to be just real obnoxious when you are taken a beating.

[silverwheels]

Be extra polite to her. Then after OU wins just give her a big ****-eating grin.

[Crucifax Autumn]

My inlaws are BYU fans and not a single one of them has even considered talking **** to me. The father in law was talking up BYU 2 years ago when we were visiting. We watched the OU game that Saturday (can't remember what game it was buy we destroyed the other team) and he was in awe. He lost his mind when I started telling him the ages of some of the players. I haven't heard anything abut how good BYU is since.

[batonrougesooner]

Tell her you can't control if 80,000+ fans decide to drink at the game or not. Plus tell her that by choosing to not buy a $10 beer or five at the game would prevent Jerry from paying for his stadium, thus endangering the financial solvency of the stadium and thus, placing the possibility of BYU's invitation to future events such as this one in jeopardy. It is your civic duty.

[OUHOMER]

tell her to stay home. She should not impose on your fun, maybe yours son's but not yours.

tell your son how you feel and let him be a big boy and deal with it.

[swardboy]

"The family just voted. Your out."

[fadada1]

Bring your Scientology Manual... just to see what happens.

[SoonerDood]

she'll probably want to get married on a Gameday. :(

[bent rider]

She must be really hot for your son to put up with that crap. Sounds like she's really brainwashed if she honestly thinks the Coogers are better than the Sooners. Tell her she is already going to the outer darkness for being divorced so being in the vicinity of a little inbibing won't hurt her a bit. Unless her kids are there, I can't believe she thinks she has the right to tell you what to do. God help your son when he is around her family.

[soonerloyal]

Mixed Marriages—I Need HELP

I know I’ve heard other posters on this forum complain/talk about how to handle relatives who are fans of other teams and what scenarios have worked for you when dealing with relatives who are fans of other teams. I’ve got a problem and I need your help. I’m going to the BYU game in Arlington with my wife, my oldest son, his wife, my youngest son (29 yrs) and his fiancée. Everyone except my son’s fiancée is an OU fans. I have not met Jane (not her real name) yet, but according to my son she is 27, very hot, divorced with two kids, and a Mormon. So far nothing, upsets me. But Jane claims to be a big BYU fan even though she did not go the “Y” she has always rooted for BYU. In several phone conversations with my son and her, she’s told me how BYU is going to kick our behinds. While I’ve tried to be pleasant, and have even paid for their tickets to the game, airfare from Atlanta to Dallas, and hotel rooms, Jane keeps irritating me, the latest is she wants a separate room from my son, and she doesn’t want anyone to drinking at the game. I can’t believe it! I can’t believe my son would tolerate it, but when I talk with him he says he in love and wants to make her happy. If I don’t calm down, moderate my OU pride, my son will never speak to me again because of the way I’ve treated his fiancée.

I know several of you are married to Cowboy fans or to Longhorns fans, how to you handle the mixed marriage ? Do you go to games together? How do you get through football season?

BTW. If you see five us at the game in OU gear, drinking beer and one lady dressed in BYU gear with a popcorn tub over her head, that would be us.

Seriously, I need help on how to handle a weekend with an obnoxious (BYU) fan who is going to be my daughter in-law.


FWIW, I'm "just" a little ol' mom. That said...here's my take, take or leave it, keeping in mind I'm a two-Marine son biatch of the First Order.

Apparently this broad has forgotten a vital component. She's a GUEST in someone's 'hood. Someone has paid her way into said 'hood. It would behoove her to mind where she's bedded and be gracious for the bed.

She certainly has the right to root for whomever she pleases. However, unless she is shelling out moolah for tickets and bedding, she has the obligation to keep her suck shut as to room/beverage choices for the entire crowd. Her personal team choice/drink/mattress preference, of course, is entirely her call. Far be it from you to make those choices for her; however, if she doesn't agree with what's offered, it is up to her to make/pay for whatever suitable alternatives she deems necessary to soothe her delicate/morally "superior" nature. If she or her prickly fiance have objections, they may, nay MUST, provide their own alternatives. When in Norman, do as Normanites. To you I say: be polite, be smiley, be kind, but by Gawd - have balls and BE FIRM. You have chosen to be host for this event..but being host doesn't equate to being rolled over. YOU set the tone and the rules. Otherwise, you are allowing someone else to dictate the tone of your home, and your own home rules. Is that what you WANT?

Sheesh, doesn't anyone in the South teach MANNERS anymore? Why should this ever need addressing?!

:)

P.S. There's no harm in reminding them sweetly that when they have differently-believing guests in their own future home, they certainly must set the rules - and if you decide to accept their hospitality, you'll let them dictate what's done in their own home. You are merely following ettiquette. It is you as host that are just-as-rightly setting the guidelines for them as guests. Think of it this way: your son learned to follow your rules growing up - so must his future wife. Sucks, but that's life. Waaahhh. Are you going to allow a new family member re-write what you believe just to make nice for a few hours? I sure hope not.

Turn it right back on them: "I'm not happy with these arrangements, Dad!" "Oh, Son, I hear ya...soooo, what are you guys gonna be doing instead so you are more comfortable?"

[DarrellZero]

This is less a football fandom question than an interpersonal relationships question.

If your son wants to date a domineering divorcee, that's his problem, but I would inform him that there is a room waiting for them in Dallas if they want it, and that you'll be drinking whatever you damn well please at the game. Other than that, say nothing.

[Curly Bill]

I can't believe this question is even being asked, you're not only paying for everything, you're the paterfamilias -- act like it!

[JLEW1818]

Sooners, beer, others

[GottaHavePride]

Yeah, this is simple.

1. Tell her if she wants a separate room for herself, she can pay for it herself.

2. Tell her that, while you respect her beliefs, you certainly don't share them, and you and a few dozen thousand other fans are adults and will drink exactly whatever you want.

[soonerloyal]

Unless her kids are there, I can't believe she thinks she has the right to tell you what to do. God help your son when he is around her family.


Even if she has kids that will be there, it still isn't her call for what the entire crowd does. She should either find a sitter for the kids, or be the kids' Morman-believing example for said kids. She in no way has the right to dictate what a "mixed" crowd may or may not do.

That is the REAL world. Deal, Jos. Smith dudette.

[Jdog]

I have to agree with C Bill - you're the dad and you're gifting the entertainment, act like it.
I learned a lesson a long time ago to not watch games with friends or family who are rivals. My wife, who went to CU, told me that she didn't care about football - that she didn't know anything about it. I took her to a OU-CU game back in the late 80's - which we lost - and her behavior was not good. I didn't divorce her but I haven't taken her to another game - its been almost 20 years - and I have season tickets.
I recommend trading their tickets for tickets in another area of the stadium.
Good luck!

[CBUS_SOONER]

Don't take this the wrong way... Tell your son to grow a sac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[yermom]

i can see the separate room thing. i'd find some way to accommodate that (this coming from a total heathen)

but yeah, no drinking from anyone involved? yeah, good luck with that one, lady. i think half the crowd is at a game as an excuse to pound beers

as for the BYU thing. i'd just giggle a little that she was talking crap. and think about which quarter she will realize how funny it now is to everyone but her ;)

[tigepilot]

Yeah, this is simple.

1. Tell her if she wants a separate room for herself, she can pay for it herself.

2. Tell her that, while you respect her beliefs, you certainly don't share them, and you and a few dozen thousand other fans are adults and will drink exactly whatever you want.

This.

[TXBOOMER]

I re-read your post. This is the first of what will be many problems with this woman if your son doesn't dump her. Go ahead and cut all ties until your son comes to his senses. Boomer Sooner!

[GKeeper316]

she can make demands on her own dime i say.

[soonerhubs]

.

[Dan Thompson]

Might ask her if she watched the Utah game last year.

Utah was ranked 7th and BYU was ranked 14th. Utah won, I think it was 49 to 21.

So now she thinks #25 BYU will beat #3 OU, honey this is not the Mountian West conference.

[olevetonahill]

Olevets 2cents
Do every thing ya can to Run the Yainch OFF
Yer son will Love ya fer it 2 years from now ;)

[OUAlumni1990]

yeah, she sounds like a real classy lady

[soonerboy_odanorth]

Our own beloved PHIL... HMFIC... I do believe has a mixed marriage. (I hope I am not speaking out of turn, Phil.)

And, I think he has words of wisdom to impart on said dear partner who may have, through genetics, environment, or anti-social conditioning, a pre-existing condition of college football ignorance and/or idiocy:

"SHUT THE F*** UP!"

:D

(Sorry, L, don't hit me... ;) )

[jumperstop]

I have to agree with C Bill - you're the dad and you're gifting the entertainment, act like it.
I learned a lesson a long time ago to not watch games with friends or family who are rivals. My wife, who went to CU, told me that she didn't care about football - that she didn't know anything about it. I took her to a OU-CU game back in the late 80's - which we lost - and her behavior was not good. I didn't divorce her but I haven't taken her to another game - its been almost 20 years - and I have season tickets.
I recommend trading their tickets for tickets in another area of the stadium.
Good luck!

Fortunately my gf goes to OSU so I don't have to worry about losing to them to often.

[SoonerCoug]

Might ask her if she watched the Utah game last year.

Utah was ranked 7th and BYU was ranked 14th. Utah won, I think it was 49 to 21.

So now she thinks #25 BYU will beat #3 OU, honey this is not the Mountian West conference.

And Utah absolutely dismantled Alabama, who Florida defeated to make the national title game.

The Mountain West is underrated and unappreciated. Now the WAC is mediocre by comparison, but you would know that--having played Boise State recently.

[JLEW1818]

Bama didn't even wanna be in that game.

if that was a semi final game, bama wins

[SoonerCoug]

Bama didn't even wanna be in that game.

if that was a semi final game, bama wins

Did you guys not want to be playing Boise State either?

[silverwheels]

That 2006 OU team overachieved, and the Big 12 was not particularly great that year, either. Boise State was a very good team and totally deserved the win, but OU was not at full strength and still nearly won, but for a few defensive breakdowns on the Broncos' trick plays. But hats off to Petersen for having the cajones to break those plays out and go for it all.

And I don't think it matters what Utah did to BYU or Alabama last year. If you're going to look at last year, look at common opponents between OU and BYU: we smashed Washington at their place, while BYU escaped with a one-point win after Locker was penalized for throwing the ball up in the air following a TD, and UW failed to convert the PAT that would have tied it; we dominated TCU at home, and TCU dominated BYU in Ft. Worth.

But this is a new year so who knows what will happen. I do expect OU to win fairly easily, but that's just my opinion.

[Mark_in_Tulsa]

Did you guys not want to be playing Boise State either?

Not really. It's championship or bust for us.

[silverwheels]

Bama didn't even wanna be in that game.

if that was a semi final game, bama wins

Maybe. Last year's Bama team overachieved to an extent. They benefitted from Clemson being average and Georgia being riddled with injuries, along with LSU in a rebuilding year and no Florida on the regular season schedule. Not to mention what Tennessee was going through. Utah was the better team and probably would have been even if Alabama "wanted to be there".

[colleyvillesooner]

I have only one response:

You serious Clark?

[ouwasp]

if memory serves, Bama was missing several starters off the OL. In OU's embarassing loss, the Sooners were missing around 5 starters. Tell the whole story...

These David and Goliath stories are fun for everybody but the Goliath. I'd just as soon them end like the Hawaii visit to the Sugar Bowl.

btw, as long as you're comparing scores/games, what about Utah's lucky win vs TCU? And how did that stack up against the Sooner's earlier game against the vaunted frogs?

[pweitkem]

Tell her the story of OU football greatly mirrors those of the Moromon faith. Joseph Smith announced that an angel had shown him a set of golden plates describing a visit of Jesus to the Native Americans. Much the same, Barry Switzer announced to Bob Stoops that Bud Wilkinson had shown him a set of national championship trophies describing a visit of the Sooners to many, many overmatched football teams.

So the only real difference is she roots for John Smith while you root for Bob Stoops... and that she doesn't want you to drink beer. To which I agree with everyone else, tell her to worry about keeping your son's knob shiny and to enjoy the free ballgame.

[gaylordfan1]

Just tell her you plan on wearing your big boy pants. Your being very civil and gracious by supplying them with a free vacation. She's an adult... she should understand that it is her responsibility to act like one! Good luck sir.

[Speer]

I re-read your post. This is the first of what will be many problems with this woman if your son doesn't dump her. Go ahead and cut all ties until your son comes to his senses. Boomer Sooner!

This. The "mixed marriage" is not the problem......she is. It's time to punt.

[beer4me]

No way nobody gonna tell me what to do, or what to drink or not to drink but that's just me.

With the demands and way she is acting now if your son marries her he is gonna be one miserable dude within a few short weeks.

I'm guessin you might be selling your son short that would never speak to you again.

[Jello Biafra]

Mixed Marriages—I Need HELP

I know I’ve heard other posters on this forum complain/talk about how to handle relatives who are fans of other teams and what scenarios have worked for you when dealing with relatives who are fans of other teams. I’ve got a problem and I need your help. I’m going to the BYU game in Arlington with my wife, my oldest son, his wife, my youngest son (29 yrs) and his fiancée. Everyone except my son’s fiancée is an OU fans. I have not met Jane (not her real name) yet, but according to my son she is 27, very hot, divorced with two kids, and a Mormon. So far nothing, upsets me. But Jane claims to be a big BYU fan even though she did not go the “Y” she has always rooted for BYU. In several phone conversations with my son and her, she’s told me how BYU is going to kick our behinds. While I’ve tried to be pleasant, and have even paid for their tickets to the game, airfare from Atlanta to Dallas, and hotel rooms, Jane keeps irritating me, the latest is she wants a separate room from my son, and she doesn’t want anyone to drinking at the game. I can’t believe it! I can’t believe my son would tolerate it, but when I talk with him he says he in love and wants to make her happy. If I don’t calm down, moderate my OU pride, my son will never speak to me again because of the way I’ve treated his fiancée.

I know several of you are married to Cowboy fans or to Longhorns fans, how to you handle the mixed marriage ? Do you go to games together? How do you get through football season?

BTW. If you see five us at the game in OU gear, drinking beer and one lady dressed in BYU gear with a popcorn tub over her head, that would be us.

Seriously, I need help on how to handle a weekend with an obnoxious (BYU) fan who is going to be my daughter in-law.



first and foremost, about 1 hour before kickoff, tell her to hide and watch.

2nd, tell her to watch the precision in which our defense works and on the first series when the cougs go three and out, simply look at her and wink.

3rd when our o scores first, tell her "brace yourself, here it comes"

4th tell her "BOHICA"

as your walking out of the game tell her "don't worry. better teams than yours have taken far worse *** whippings than that"

should be the end of your interaction with the football talk.

[Jello Biafra]

And Utah absolutely dismantled Alabama, who Florida defeated to make the national title game.

The Mountain West is underrated and unappreciated. Now the WAC is mediocre by comparison, but you would know that--having played Boise State recently.

difference being,

1. we aren't bama
2. we aren't playing boise
3. it is the beginning of the season (and you guys are far more depleted along the front 5 than boise was)
4. we won't overlook you
5. we didn't have bradford (we had a WR playing qb that seasont there spanky)


thanks for playing.

[soonerhubs]

.

[badger]

There is an easy solution to a room divided, house divided, etc. etc. if physical divisions during games are not possible.

Only allow cheering.

This keeps the atmosphere positive. OU fans in your group promise to not badmouth BYU or boo the other team (refs are fair game for everyone, of course), and the BYU fan must also agree that she will only cheer for her team and not heckle or boo the Sooners.

This arrangement will work, with the understanding that one team will not win (college games no longer end in ties) and that someone will be sad at the end of the day. So long as everyone understands that the only thing allowed is cheering and that you're all family (or future family) at the end of the day, it should all be good.

[OUMallen]

While I’ve tried to be pleasant, and have even paid for their tickets to the game, airfare from Atlanta to Dallas, and hotel rooms, Jane keeps irritating me, the latest is she wants a separate room from my son, and she doesn’t want anyone to drinking at the game.


This is just rude. Either go to the game, be tolerant of others, and enjoy your generosity...or don't go. But never should she start bossing everyone around. I don't like this girl already.

[Pricetag]

She hasn't even met you face to face, and she's already trying to make demands? Please. For the love of God, you cannot let her get her way.

[badger]

Listen to hubler, our resident Latter-Day Saint, Oklahoma mormons (sorry, it's shorter to type than the preferred term) are cool about stuff like this. Oklahoma mormons can happily sip their ice water in a room full of tea drinkers. Oklahoma mormons can laugh at an off-color, profanity-filled joke and exclaim "Gosh, that's flippin' funny!"

I understand the woman's religious concerns in wanting a separate room and perhaps since she never attended BYU she does not understand the difficulty in making alternative hotel arrangements this late before the game. Perhaps a simple explanation on how large this game is and how sold out all area hotels are will alleviate this demand. Your son, if he is indeed in love, could offer to sleep on the floor so that they do not share the same bed, or vise versa, if she is really adament.

As for the non-drinking policy, you can handle this in one of two ways peacefully. First, you can kindly (and honestly) forego drinking during the game and in her presence to honor her wishes. Or, the more fun route, would be pocket shots. Get your Jerryworld souvenir cup filled with Dr. Pepper and make it "Dr. Pepper and...." with your favorite Pocket Shot. The beer at Jerryworld will be insanely expensive anyways.

Good luck! Have fun!

[soonerhubs]

.

[badger]

If she's from Utah, she won't recognize the Dr. Pepper unless it is in a brown paper sack. ;)

That's where the souvenir cup comes in - you can also pull a Brett Romar and bring along an unmarked Styrofoam cup... but what use is that? Geez...

If you wanted to really pull the perfect crime, you could get those IBC drinks going early to really upstart the confusion. "No, this is a bottle that is CLEARLY (not at all) marked 'Soft Drink' and is NOT beer! It only APPEARS to be beer, but in actuality is ROOT beer!" After a a round of IBC's it will be difficult to distinguish "beer" from "NOT beer" and the fun will really begin.

[Jacie]

Explain that she is your son's second wife and in good old school Mormon ways must defer to his first wife, who loves to drink, cheer for OU and will share their bed only after she's had her turn.

[soonermix]

the room thing is fair but a little late.
the drinking thing i would say in the most polite and respectful way i can....
"i got a better idea then no drinking why don't you go play hide and go **** yourself"

[DMAFB_Sooner08]

FWIW, I'm "just" a little ol' mom. That said...here's my take, take or leave it, keeping in mind I'm a two-Marine son biatch of the First Order.

Apparently this broad has forgotten a vital component. She's a GUEST in someone's 'hood. Someone has paid her way into said 'hood. It would behoove her to mind where she's bedded and be gracious for the bed.

She certainly has the right to root for whomever she pleases. However, unless she is shelling out moolah for tickets and bedding, she has the obligation to keep her suck shut as to room/beverage choices for the entire crowd. Her personal team choice/drink/mattress preference, of course, is entirely her call. Far be it from you to make those choices for her; however, if she doesn't agree with what's offered, it is up to her to make/pay for whatever suitable alternatives she deems necessary to soothe her delicate/morally "superior" nature. If she or her prickly fiance have objections, they may, nay MUST, provide their own alternatives. When in Norman, do as Normanites. To you I say: be polite, be smiley, be kind, but by Gawd - have balls and BE FIRM. You have chosen to be host for this event..but being host doesn't equate to being rolled over. YOU set the tone and the rules. Otherwise, you are allowing someone else to dictate the tone of your home, and your own home rules. Is that what you WANT?

Sheesh, doesn't anyone in the South teach MANNERS anymore? Why should this ever need addressing?!

:)

P.S. There's no harm in reminding them sweetly that when they have differently-believing guests in their own future home, they certainly must set the rules - and if you decide to accept their hospitality, you'll let them dictate what's done in their own home. You are merely following ettiquette. It is you as host that are just-as-rightly setting the guidelines for them as guests. Think of it this way: your son learned to follow your rules growing up - so must his future wife. Sucks, but that's life. Waaahhh. Are you going to allow a new family member re-write what you believe just to make nice for a few hours? I sure hope not.

Turn it right back on them: "I'm not happy with these arrangements, Dad!" "Oh, Son, I hear ya...soooo, what are you guys gonna be doing instead so you are more comfortable?"

'nough said...this should have been the end of the thread!!

[badger]

Perhaps since we don't understand this girl, perhaps this is her sense of humor and she doesn't realize that her "demands," which are actually her jokes, are being taken seriously?

My sense of humor is sometimes misunderstood too, and given the ridiculousness of her demands, it's possible that she's just been pulling future daddy-in-law's leg all along and will show up all decked out in OU gear with beer in hand.

[oudivesherpa]

Thanks for all the wonderful responses. I really apprecaite your efforts. You have helped to ally my concerns. I had another call with both my son and his fiancee today and here is where are:

1. I've booked a separate room for her, so she won't feel any pressure.
2. My son is rather non-communicative, some have suggested that he "grow
a pair" the problem is more he doesn't state his feeling freely but once
he does he doesn't back off.
3. I'm Irish, I'm going to be very cordial to her, but I will drink at least one
beer during the game but since I'm driving that will probably be it.

I'll let everyone know how it goes after the game. Thanks for your help.

[badger]

I can tell that you're gonna be a good daddy in law, and hopefully she'll give and take in future football outings. Maybe once she gets to know all of you Sooners she'll tone down her BYUness... and if not, well, it's not like we'll be playing them again soon.

[unbiasedtruth]

are beer/ritas being sold at the game? I didnt think Big XII rules allowed sale of alcohol at its games.

[IB4OU2]

[quote=oudivesherpa;2684521]
But Jane claims to be a big BYU fan even though she did not go the “Y” she has always rooted for BYU.


Maybe she would be a little more tolerant and nicer if your son went down to the "Y"....