Wow Mike Stoops and His wife divorcing

[olevetonahill]

Sad for him
http://www.azstarnet.com/sn/hourlyupdate/306170.php

[sooneron]

More sad for the kids.

[delhalew]

Damn, I feel bad for him. You can tell family is important to those Stoops boys.

[Collier11]

Sucks, hope he can get that aspect of his life straightened out and I hope it doesnt affect his coaching this year, he seems like a good guy

[goingoneight]

I hear she wanted to live in Florida.

[LawtonBoy74]

Divorce sucks sadly it doesn't exclude the chances of it happening to any marriage

[swardboy]

College coaching demands = recipe for marital disaster...

I'm only surprised we don't hear this more often.

[beer4me]

Been there done that it suc

[adoniijahsooner]

Divorced last year and it is hard on the children.

[PurcellSooner23]

I have 4 kids with my ex....Divorce is the suc!!

[badger]

They always looked so happy :(
http://www.azstarnet.com/ss/2004/11/25/49503-1.jpg

The paper that reported this wrote a story about the wife a few years back... since you have to register to see that, boo, here's the text:

First lady of football
Coach's wife busily adjusts to life in the media spotlight
By Rhonda Bodfield Bloom
Arizona Daily Star
Tucson, Arizona | Published: 11.25.2004

Nicole Stoops has a new home nestled in a gated community in the Catalina Foothills.

It's lovely, certainly, with soaring ceilings, interior Roman columns and a negative edge pool that looks like it spills into the desert.

But Stoops - the wife of Mike Stoops, the University of Arizona's first-year football coach - still isn't quite used to it. She finds the house a bit chilly. More formal than she is.

She's done what she can to warm it up with furniture that leans toward wood and reds and browns. But that doesn't change the cabinet-matching paneling on the refrigerator, which keeps her from hanging her kids' doodles.

And don't let the "gate" in gated community fool you. Stoops is no fussy, arms-length kind of person, dressing for an interview in blue jeans and cowboy boots. When she takes a single phone call from her husband, she mock rolls her eyes in exasperation as Coach Stoops continually interrupts the conversation with his wife to dish out instructions to folks on his end.

For a woman who admits she was once more reserved, maybe even shy, Stoops has grown comfortable in the spotlight that shines on one of Tucson's first ladies of sports. It's an ill-defined role, yet one that Tucsonans have seen done well: Lute Olson's late wife, Bobbi Olson - remembered as "everybody's mom" - and Dick Tomey's wife, Nanci Kincaid, an author, left high-profile legacies of being involved in the community.

Some might consider such a role a challenging endeavor, especially for a woman as young as Stoops, just 28.

There are the inevitable comparisons. Olson's current wife, Christine, recently held informal etiquette classes with the basketball players, and Stoops got some razzing about whether she'd be doing the same thing for the footballers.

Youth aside, Stoops is no newbie. The couple came from Oklahoma, where her husband was defensive coach and where people love their college football like Tucsonans love their college basketball. "The Stoops' name there was like Lute Olson's name here," she said. "I'd be at the gas station and people would be offering me advice for my husband." Back then, she did cringe a bit doing interviews for newspaper profiles. She didn't feel like she'd lived enough to have much to say - a feeling that has since changed.

Living in that kind of fishbowl, she said, "I had to grow up really fast."

Having children - Payton, 5, and Colton, 2 - helped with that growth, too.

She was working as an apartment property manager at the time she met Stoops, who was visiting Dallas for a football convention when the two struck up a conversation at a restaurant bar. She always expected someday she'd become a teacher and stay in Dallas the rest of her life, to be near her family. But then came an unplanned pregnancy and a choice. She and Mike weren't married at the time, and they ruled out getting married solely because of the pregnancy - they wanted to be sure they were meant for each other. They married when their daughter was 2.

"I've always had the utmost respect for him," Stoops said of her husband.

"He's never let me down. I know that he will never abandon me or the children, no matter what happens, because he is just a good man. He takes care of us."

The couple have an age gap of 14 years. It keeps him young, she jokes, and her grounded. They're different in other ways as well. She's a sentimental sop, she admits, even to the point that she cries at greeting card commercials or the TV show "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." He's the least romantic person on the planet. She tried to help, buying Mike a book with 1,001 ways to be romantic. It's been forgiven, but not forgotten, that while in Oklahoma, he once forgot her birthday, which happened to fall on a big game day.

They are similar, too. With both of her grandfathers ministers, and her own father a Pentecostal minister, Stoops said it was important to her that her husband share similar values. They go to church on Sundays. Faith is something they rely on during difficult times - and this 2-and-8 football season counts among those. Sometimes, she tapes notes with scriptures on them to her husband's mirror. "It's been a test, but we know this is going to be a growing experience."

Some of her plan has come to fruition. She went back to school after Payton was born, getting her degree in early childhood education. When her son is old enough to go to school, she said, she'd like to look into elementary teaching. Her little girl comes home with homework on Tuesdays and Thursdays and very dutifully sits down to do it. Her daughter's eagerness to learn charms her, reinforcing for her the huge effect teachers have on children's lives.

"I think it's important to have something for yourself. I love what I do for my kids, but I do want goals beyond what I do as a mom or as Mike's wife. It would be very easy to get lost in that."

As for that first-lady business, right away Stoops got involved in some local charities, focusing largely on Casa de los Niños and the Easter Seal Society. She also joined the Rotary Club of Tucson and spends Monday afternoons in her daughter's kindergarten classroom, where her education background is helpful.

But she's gotten involved in the community because she wanted to, not because anyone suggested it would be a good idea. "I feel very fortunate for the life we're able to live and I want to give back," she said. "But I like to do what works for me and for my family."

A maid and a nanny take some of the burden, but her life is so busy that she has a schedule printed out for the week, with everything from volunteer board meetings to football practice to gymnastics with her daughter and play groups with her son.
Stoops has been in the college football coaching scene long enough to learn that coaching families need each other. She started family night every other week, when the assistant coaches and their families bring dinner to the football offices so everyone can relax together. The coaches' wives get together once a month. This month, it was dinner and an outing to the musical "Hairspray." They also have cookie night on the occasional Wednesday, when the wives bring batches of cookies for the football players to enjoy after practice.

A tiny slip of a thing, Stoops has two favorite standbys for relaxation: light reading and working out. She recently started tennis lessons and hired a personal trainer to help her with her weight training goals.

As for football, she still doesn't entirely understand how it works - when flags are thrown and whistles blown, she often has to turn to her fellow game watchers for an interpretation. With 100 players on the Arizona team, she's still getting to know who they all are, although Payton likes to call free safety Darrell Brooks her new boyfriend. In fact, Stoops said, people who think she can give them the inside scoop on the inner workings of the team will be sorely disappointed. "I'm the least-informed person. People are always offering their opinions, but honestly, (Mike and I) don't talk shop at all."

Football shapes their lives in other ways, though. Her husband works all the time, weekends included. Between recruiting and practice and games, "It never ends."

"In reality, I am a single mom during the season," Stoops said, "but you take the good with the bad." She tries to bring the kids to practice at least twice a week so they can eat a picnic dinner and visit their dad. Thursday night he's home with the kids, which is a luxury compared to Oklahoma, where he did a radio show in addition to his other duties.

Football has affected everything in their lives together, down to the Stoops' July wedding. And due to college bowl games, this will be their first Christmas at home - Arizona's team isn't going anywhere for the holidays this year.

Santa has typically come early so he can find the Stoops children before they head to a hotel. "It's hard to set traditions when you don't know where you're going to be," she said.

But she's not complaining. She hopes the team will have a few Christmases at home in the future.

And memo to Mike: High up on that list of the 1,001 ways to be romantic, it must state the wife's birthday must be acknowledged, even if it falls on a game day. Nicole's birthday is Friday - the day UA faces Arizona State University.

We doubt forgiveness will be forthcoming twice.

After reading the article (yes, I posted it before I read it), I would think that having a 14-year age gap and not really understanding football probably factored into this.Arizona football hasn't exactly been the most pleasant experience these past few years (with the exception of last season) and not understanding football except for probably the ugly politicking and fan/alum expectation side that she probably endured more than X's and O's... must be tough.

[rainiersooner]

I hope he takes it out on USC.

[w0lfe]

I hope he takes it out on USC.
agreed

[C&CDean]

I really don't know of any marriage that has worked when the couple met in a bar.

[OUMallen]

College coaching demands = recipe for marital disaster...



Odds are a little more against you when you get hitched mainly because you knocked the girl up.

[Collier11]

I think the fact that he is a coach makes it even tougher since she is younger, he is gone alot of hours and she probably wasnt down with sitting at home by herself all the time

[RedstickSooner]

I really don't know of any marriage that has worked when the couple met in a bar.

C'mon, Dean -- that ain't fair... Every marriage works 'til it don't.

But, yeah, I can't say "Met in a bar" is the most awesome starting place for a long-term relationship. It's right up there with, "I tested a bunch of guys for paternity, and he was the father."

:D

[Boomer_Sooner_sax]

Sad deal...prayers to the kiddos.

[oudivesherpa]

I really don't know of any marriage that has worked when the couple met in a bar.

Met my first wife in a bar (at OU). My second (20 years ago) in church.

Divorce is tough, but you get over it and move on. But for about two years it's pure hell, I hope Mike and his family peace and happiness.

[StoopTroup]

I've met a lot of guys Wives in bars.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I dont think single life will be very good for Mike

[StoopTroup]

I dont think single life will be very good for Mike

I think your right about that.

The first few gals he dates will probably walk funny.

[SoonerInFortSmith]

I think your right about that.

The first few gals he dates will probably walk funny.

Doesn't that mean single life WILL be good for him?

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I just hope it isn't a replay of Mike at Kansas State

[StoopTroup]

Doesn't that mean single life WILL be good for him?

Ummmm...not really. I think Mike and bars should remain a thing of the past. I just think the first few Women who try and bag themselves a Mike Stoops personal interview :D will get more than they bargained for...:pop:

[JLEW1818]

sorry to hear that

but i know a place with their arms open, ready to take him back

[StoopTroup]

Tru that.

[soonersam]

Its tough being a head coach and the Husband / Father of the year!!

[badger]

I think Mike had to take a head coaching job to be out of his big bro's shadow and all... I just think the transition has been difficult on his family.

At OU, we were winning the national and conference championships, winning against our real rival (even if we had a few losses to our fake one, heh).

At Zona, he was trying to rebuild Bear Down and beat some rivals each year... rivals with more football resources at their disposal at his KU-like basketball school... he didn't get the bowl game that would save his job until this past season. Think about how long he's been gone from OU. It took him this long to get a season that would send him bowling!

Now, think of everything fans have said about their coaches when stuff goes wrong. Zona has huge alumni and fan bases... no escaping the mean comments, whether you're the head coach, the head coach's wife or even worse, the head coach's elementary school children.

I have a tremendous amount of sympathy not just for the kids, but the entire family and hope they make it through this difficult situation.

[soonerfan28]

Odds are a little more against you when you get hitched mainly because you knocked the girl up.

I was gonna say that. Thought I had heard that a few years ago.

[rainiersooner]

I just hope it isn't a replay of Mike at Kansas State

What happened at Kansas State?

[Collier11]

He was a bit of a hard partier from what ive heard

[rainiersooner]

Nothing fuels your motivation to destroy opposing quarterbacks like a fierce hangover I suppose.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

What happened at Kansas State?

take into context he was 30 when he started coaching at KSU, but he was known to throw the best parties and his strong feelings for younger ladies didn't start with his wife

[Collier11]

He liked good women and good alcohol

[stoops the eternal pimp]

that was a long time ago, so I don't think he'll return to that...but married life was good for him

[soonerhubs]

Age at Marriage, cohabitation before engagement or marriage, SES (not a factor here obviously.), communication patterns, and willingness to seek help are merely a few of numerous factors that affect the likelihood of divorce. I won't prejudge, but there are periods in every married couple's life where they are at higher risk.