The Columbo email

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

I didn't know he was still working!

"Ah . . Sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir. .

Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean President Obama, Sir. Um . . I know you're busy, and important and stuff. I mean running the county is very important and -- ah -- I hate to bother you Sir. I will only take a minute. Ok Sir?

See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering Sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.

Hey, you have a nice place here! The wife sees houses like this on TV all the time and says boy she wishes she had digs like this you know? Is that painting real? Really? Wow. I saw something like that in a museum once!

Oh, sorry Sir. I didn't mean to get off the track. So if you could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island Sir? No? I didn't think so...

Well, listen, anyway, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be "Not released" or "Not available." I'm sure it's just an oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are -- I -- I have them written down here somewhere -- oh wait. Sorry about the smears. It was raining out. I'll just read it to you.

Could you please help me find these things Sir?
1. Occidental College records -- Not released
2. Columbia College records -- Not released
3. Columbia Thesis paper -- "Not available"
4. Harvard College records -- Not released
5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released
6. Medical records -- Not released
7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- Not available
8. Your Illinois State Senate records -- Not available
9. Law practice client list -- Not released
10. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released
11. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released
12. Record of your baptism -- Not available

Oh and one more thing Sir, I can't seem to find any articles you published as editor of the Harvard Law Review, or as a Professor at the University of Chicago. Can you explain that to me Sir?

Oh but, hey -- listen! I know you're busy! If this is too much for you right now -- I mean -- tell you what. I'll come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, You know? I mean, I know you're busy. I'll just let myself out. I'll be back tomorrow. And the day after. .
What's that Mr. President? Who wants to know these things?
We (some of)the People of the United States of America ! You know, the ones that vote.?"
__________________
.............

[LosAngelesSooner]

:les: HE AIN'T A CITIZEN!!!

[JohnnyMack]

He's a genetically engineered bionic assassin from the planet Taliban sent here to destroy white people and their dreams.

[LosAngelesSooner]

Who wants to know these things?
We (a very small fringe minority of conspiracy theorizing far right wing, Bible thumping, tin foil hat wearing whack jobs) the People of the United States of America ! You know, the ones that vote, but would never vote for you even if you did release any of that information (information that normal citizens of the US ALSO have protected under privacy rights) and it showed you to be a pure genius who lived without sin and never did any wrong in your life. Not to mention the fact that you actually HAVE released much of that info, but we continue to deny it because it messes up our "He's de Debbil" circle jerk fests that we have on Friday nights.
__________________
.............
Fixed.

[LosAngelesSooner]

Actually...I don't think he even exists. I mean...apparently there is no record of his ever having existed on the face of this earth. He's either erased his identity from the time continuum, or he never existed.

He's Kaiser Soze.

[KABOOKIE]

Hey it's the RINO from LA.

[SoonerStormchaser]

You know LAS, while I agree with your sentiment, I think the "fixed" post kind of reflects your views about our former president...so I, for one, find that post rather amusing.

Pot...meet kettle.

[OhU1]

I'd like to see the Harvard grades and SAT test scores out of curiosity. He's the Man fair and square regardless - it's just that I'm kind of nosey.

[olevetonahill]

Kinda amusing a thread gets Locked when some one makes fun of LAS :confused:
on the other hand :rolleyes:

[John Kochtoston]

I'd like to see the Harvard grades and SAT test scores out of curiosity. He's the Man fair and square regardless - it's just that I'm kind of nosey.

He was Editor of the Harvard Law Review. It's pretty safe to say his grades and test scores were pretty good.

Editors, by the way, edit. They don't publish. I know you didn't say that, but that should answer at least one of the OP's inane questions.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

He was Editor of the Harvard Law Review. It's pretty safe to say his grades and test scores were pretty good.

Editors, by the way, edit. They don't publish. I know you didn't say that, but that should answer at least one of the OP's inane questions.Whew! That's a relief! haha

[yermom]

isn't it a little late to give a **** about any of this stuff?

the only part of that that's required to be President is the citizenship thing, and i think the courts have taken care of that issue

baptism? really? let's file that under "none of your ****ing business"

[Turd_Ferguson]

Kinda amusing a thread gets Locked when some one makes fun of LAS :confused:
on the other hand :rolleyes:and he turns back green within a couple of hours after being neg spek'd from hell.:rolleyes:

[Turd_Ferguson]

isn't it a little late to give a **** about any of this stuff?

the only part of that that's required to be President is the citizenship thing, and i think the courts have taken care of that issue

baptism? really? let's file that under "none of your ****ing business"none of our business? really? really? It became our business when he ran for POTUS.

[yermom]

oh, i forgot. him getting baptized as an infant protects us from him being a sleeper Muslim ready to jihad us all

[JohnnyMack]

Remember when George W. Bush was so forthcoming about his drug use and military service? Good times.

[Turd_Ferguson]

yeah, remember that fake doc. the lefty's came up with? that was hilarious.:D

[AlbqSooner]

Pot...meet kettle.

Careful there Storm. Any reference to black in a discussion about the POTUS will get ya labeled a racist.:D

[olevetonahill]

none of our business? really? really? It became our business when he ran for POTUS.

Sorry Bro
It really aint Nunya nor mine
the dude is in and he aint going no where .
I still Like ****ing with LAS tho :D

[olevetonahill]

Oh and if it was that big a deal, shoulda been hammered home during the lections :D
jes sayin
Now yall got me sounding like a LAS wannabe:mad:

[Curly Bill]

Kinda amusing a thread gets Locked when some one makes fun of LAS :confused:
on the other hand :rolleyes:

Seems like I posted something on that other site that may or may not exist that this was the case.

LAS making fun of other peple, calling them names and such = OK

Other people making fun of LAS or calling him names = thread lock

[LosAngelesSooner]

You know LAS, while I agree with your sentiment, I think the "fixed" post kind of reflects your views about our former president...so I, for one, find that post rather amusing.

Pot...meet kettle.The former President had 8 years to prove his ineptness in office and deceitful nature. In fact, we're still suffering the effects of his "leadership."

While some of you guys seem to think that our CURRENT President has managed to completely destroy the United States within less than half of one year.

Yeeeeeeeeeah....right. :rolleyes:

Oh...and the fact that I DID vote for Bush...only proves that your pot...has yet to meet the kettle.

[Curly Bill]

I think both our current, and our previous, POTUS both suck.

What I win?

[LosAngelesSooner]

Oh and if it was that big a deal, shoulda been hammered home during the lections :D
jes sayin
Now yall got me sounding like a LAS wannabe:mad:What can I say? You sober up and start talking rationally...you begin to sound like me.

;)

[LosAngelesSooner]

Seems like I posted something on that other site that may or may not exist that this was the case.

LAS making fun of other peple, calling them names and such = OK

Other people making fun of LAS or calling him names = thread lockYou actually took the time to go to another website to discuss me? And the injustices you feel I levy on here?

Somebody needs a woman.

And for the record...I get infractions when I break the rules just like the rest of you. But I've been pretty derned good about not breaking any rules for a few years now. Some of the rest of you? Not so much. And THAT'S why people get banned, threads get locked and people get carded.

It also helps that I ignore the more idiotic and inflammatory posters on here. I still listen to people whom I disagree with and people who are occasionally funny or entertaining. After all, you're not on ignore Curly Bill. ;)

[Curly Bill]

You actually took the time to go to another website to discuss me? And the injustices you feel I levy on here?

Somebody needs a woman.

Got any hawt LA women you can send me? :D


...and not so much go to another website to discuss you, as it just sorta came up in conversation. You should be proud. ;)

[LosAngelesSooner]

Proud? Nah. Kinda sorry for you guys? Yeah...a little.

And as for sending you a ho...too expensive. But you make it out this way and I promise to put our differences aside and find you a hawt LA woman who can make you quit whining about me on some other retarded website. ;)

[Curly Bill]

A website where your name comes up in conversation is retarded?

Dude, don't be so harsh on yourself. :D

...and we really weren't talking about you, so much as we used you for an example.

[olevetonahill]

What can I say? You sober up and start talking rationally...you begin to sound like me.

;)

Oh **** :eek:

[Curly Bill]

Hey LAS -- you know Mimi Rogers?

I know she's a little older now, but I've always had a thing for her.

[olevetonahill]

Proud? Nah. Kinda sorry for you guys? Yeah...a little.

And as for sending you a ho...too expensive. But you make it out this way and I promise to put our differences aside and find you a hawt LA woman who can make you quit whining about me on some other retarded website. ;)

Oh now ya pissed me off .:P
But if i bring my old fat *** out there I want some Grenades and Rocket launchers
then we hit the Hos ;)

[olevetonahill]

A website where your name comes up in conversation is retarded?

Dude, don't be so harsh on yourself. :D

...and we really weren't talking about you, so much as we used you for an example.

Ya see Nobody completely worthless. Ya can always be used as a BAD example :D

[Curly Bill]

Ya see Nobody completely worthless. Ya can always be used as a BAD example :D

...and if I go to LA and he hooks me up with a loose, yet hawt, Cali girl than he'll be tops in my book. :D

[Collier11]

Oh **** :eek:


youve lost it Vet :eek: :D



...and if I go to LA and he hooks me up with a loose, yet hawt, Cali girl than he'll be tops in my book. :D

be kinda hard considering he only hangs out with loose cali guys :D

Just kidding LAS, dont go tell on me

[Collier11]

Seems like I posted something on that other site that may or may not exist that this was the case.

LAS making fun of other peple, calling them names and such = OK

Other people making fun of LAS or calling him names = thread lock

its just like the kid on the playground in grade school that starts crap but when you get in his face he runs to the teacher and tells on you

[Collier11]

Careful there Storm. Any reference to black in a discussion about the POTUS will get ya labeled a racist.:D

:les: OBAMA ISNT BLACK!!!

[Curly Bill]

It just seems to me that there's a double standard. I'm not the first person to think it, or bring it up, and I've never been affected by it as for getting carded or bained or anything like that. It seems though that some peeps can get away with calling those they disagree with names, but when those on the other side respond in kind threads get locked before things get out of hand.

Like I said though: never affected by it personally, just stating what I have observed.

[Collier11]

It really isnt that big of a deal overall but what is funny is that some people feel the need to run to a mod when someone is picking on them, lol

[Curly Bill]

I don't give a big rip either, but it is, well....it's noticeable, and it's amusing in a would you look at that sorta way.

[CrimsonJim]

What can I say? You sober up and start talking rationally...you begin to sound like me.

;)

That's the best reason for drinking I've heard all week! ;)

[Collier11]

thread locked in 5,4,3,2....I kid

[Frozen Sooner]

It seems though that some peeps can get away with calling those they disagree with names, but when those on the other side respond in kind threads get locked before things get out of hand.

1. They don't get away with it.

2. Generally I'll leave a thread open if everybody but one is staying cool and being nice. I don't want one person to be able to shut down an entire conversation. So yeah, normally I wait until there's retaliation then I shut it down before it turns into all-out warfare. I'm not saying that this is always how I do it, but that's my rule of thumb.

[yermom]

it might be nice if threads didn't instantly devolve into "poster A sucks" even if what they are saying might be reasonable in the thread

once they get to that point, the thread is pretty worthless anyway

[Collier11]

sometimes it would be nice for a little banter to be allowed, if it gets rude or too personal thats one thing but arguing amongst idjits seems fine by me ;)

[Ike]

Curly, your a _____.

Yermom, you sir are an _______.

JM, LAS, and RLIMC, all three of you are ________.


fill in the blanks with whatever you want...that way, I'm not callin the names. You are.


Oh, and Olevet, you're a ______ _______ ________ ___________ ___ ______.


Thank you, and good night.

[yermom]

_____ you Ike

:D

[tommieharris91]

Curly, your a _____.

Yermom, you sir are an _______.

JM, LAS, and RLIMC, all three of you are ________.


fill in the blanks with whatever you want...that way, I'm not callin the names. You are.


Oh, and Olevet, you're a ______ _______ ________ ___________ ___ ______.


Thank you, and good night.

Damn, I was gonna use a diatribe where the blanks were filled in.

Damn you to hell Ike!

[olevetonahill]

Curly, your a _____.

Yermom, you sir are an _______.

JM, LAS, and RLIMC, all three of you are ________.


fill in the blanks with whatever you want...that way, I'm not callin the names. You are.


Oh, and Olevet, you're a ______ _______ ________ ___________ ___ ______.


Thank you, and good night.

Why Thank you sir :D

[olevetonahill]

Damn, I was gonna use a diatribe where the blanks were filled in.

Damn you to hell Ike!

I think Ike described me to a ****in T:D

[stoops the eternal pimp]

yermom has a wooden leg with a kickstand

[Collier11]

yermom has a wooden leg with a kickstand

Thanks for that! Diff topic is always better than the last page or so and where it was headed :D

[OklaPony]

The former President had 8 years to prove his ineptness in office and deceitful nature. In fact, we're still suffering the effects of his "leadership."
Funny, that's exactly what I was saying about 8 years ago.

[NYC Poke]

___________ __________________ ____________________ ____________

__________-____________ ___________ _________________ ________!

[BudSooner]

This thread _____ ____ ____ _________ ______________ ____ __ _____, ______.

Or the Rus version-

______...........

[Fraggle145]

It really isnt that big of a deal overall but what is funny is that some people feel the need to run to a mod when someone is picking on them, lol

ROGUE MOD!!!

[Collier11]

ROGUE MOD!!!

:D

[Turd_Ferguson]

yermom has a wooden leg with a kickstandbitch got a mouf in the backa her neck and chew like this!:D