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I Am Right
2/4/2009, 07:59 PM
SECONDHAND CHILDREN

It's been weeks since the last one, so on Sunday, The New York Times Magazine featured yet another cheery, upbeat article on single mothers. As with all its other promotional pieces on single motherhood over the years, the Times followed a specific formula to make this social disaster sound normal, blameless and harmless -- even brave.

These single motherhood advertisements include lots of conclusory statements to the effect that this is simply the way things are -- so get used to it, bourgeois America! "(A)n increasing number of unmarried mothers," the article explained, "look a lot more like Fran McElhill and Nancy Clark -- they are college-educated, and they are in their 30s, 40s and 50s."

Why isn't the number of smokers treated as a fait accompli that the rest of us just have to accept? Smoking causes a lot less damage and the harm befalls the person who chooses to smoke, not innocent children.

The Times' single motherhood endorsements always describe single mothers as the very picture of middle-class normality: "She grew up in blue-collar Chester County, Pa., outside Philadelphia, and talks like a local girl (long O's). Her father was a World War II vet who worked for a union and took his kids to Mass most Sundays." Even as a girl she dreamed of raising a baby with a 50 percent greater chance of growing up in poverty.

How about some articles on all the nice middle-class smokers whose fathers served in World War II and took them to Mass? Only when describing aberrant social behavior do Times writers even recognize what normality is, much less speak of it admiringly.

According to hysterical anti-smoking zealots at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, smoking costs the nation $92 billion a year in "lost productivity." (Obviously these conclusions were produced by people who not only have never smoked, but also don't know any smokers, who could have told them smoking makes us 10 times more productive.)

Meanwhile, single motherhood costs taxpayers about $112 billion every year, according to a 2008 study by Georgia State University economist Benjamin Scafidi.

Smoking has no causal relationship to crime, has little effect on others and -- let's be honest -- looks cool. Controlling for income, education and occupation, it causes about 200,000 deaths per year, mostly of people in their 70s.

Single motherhood, by contrast, directly harms children, occurs at a rate of about 1.5 million a year and has a causal relationship to criminal behavior, substance abuse, juvenile delinquency, sexual victimization and almost every other social disorder.

If a pregnant woman smokes or drinks, we blame her. But if a woman decides to have a fatherless child, we praise her as brave -- even though the outcome for the child is much worse.

Thus, the Times writes warmly of single mothers, always including an innocent explanation: "Many of these women followed a similar and familiar pattern in having their first child: They planned to marry, found they hadn't by their 30s, looked some more and then decided to have a child without a husband." At which point, a stork showed up with their babies.

So apparently, single motherhood could happen to anyone!

How about: These smokers followed a similar and familiar pattern, they planned never to start smoking, found themselves working long nights at the law firm and then decided to have a cigarette to stay alert.

Then there is the Times' reversal of cause and effect, which manages to exonerate the single mother while turning her into a victim: "The biggest reason that children born to unmarried mothers tend to have problems -- they're more likely to drop out of school and commit crimes -- is that they tend to grow up poor."

First, the reason the children "tend to grow up poor" is that their mothers considered it unnecessary to have a primary bread-earner in the family.

Second, the Times simply made up the fact that poverty, rather than single motherhood, causes anti-social behavior in children. Poverty doesn't cause crime -- single mothers do. If poverty caused crime, how did we get Bernie Madoff?

Studies -- including one by the liberal Progressive Policy Institute -- have shown that controlling for factors such as poverty and socioeconomic status, single motherhood accounts for the entire difference in black and white crime rates.

The Times' claim that poverty is the "biggest reason" for the problems of illegitimate children is on the order of claiming that the biggest reason that smokers develop heart disease and lung cancer is not because they smoke, but because they tend to work so hard. It's a half-baked, wishful-thinking theory contradicted by all known evidence. Other than that, it holds up pretty well.

Finally, the Times produced an imaginary statistic that is valid only in the sense that no study has specifically disproved it yet. "No one has shown," the Times triumphantly announced, "that there are similar risks for the children of college-educated single mothers by choice."

No one has shown that there are similar risks for smokers who run marathons, either. There are probably about as many college graduate single mothers by choice (7 percent) as there are smokers who run marathons. And, unlike single mothers, smokers who run marathons look really cool.

If the establishment media wrote about smoking the way they write about unwed motherhood, I think people would notice that they seem oddly hellbent on destroying as many lives as possible.

TUSooner
2/4/2009, 08:21 PM
Of course that article was all about "college educated" single mothers. I would bet they DON'T have the same problems of single poor mothers and their kids. But they have different ones.

Okla-homey
2/4/2009, 08:29 PM
I've said it before, and I maintain, the epidemic of unwed motherhood in this country is probably the biggest social challenge we face. Myriad other social ills flow directly from it.

Pricetag
2/5/2009, 12:11 AM
I can't decide if this guy had a real point or not--his crying about the fact that people hate smoking worse than single motherhood was really distracting.

yermom
2/5/2009, 01:11 AM
yeah, the problem with single mothers is just due to women choosing to have children on their own...

something tells me that's a small fraction of the reason this happens

Tulsa_Fireman
2/5/2009, 01:50 AM
I guess us single fathers are like cool breeze, in the clear, good ol' american pie.

Yay.

sooner n houston
2/5/2009, 07:50 AM
I was a single father for about two years. My son was 4-5. Nothing cool about it. Hardest 2 years of my life and I make decent money. My son turned out alright regardless, thank God!

badger
2/5/2009, 08:34 AM
Technically, for every single mother isn't there a single father?

Oh...right... who has custody and who just has their paycheck withdrawn from every month, tee hee :D

When I was a teen in college working at a department store, a middle aged man gave me his depressing life's advice: "Don't get married and don't have kids." My guess is he did both and had since divorced but still gets his wages docked via the government.

I have no sympathy for smokers as opposed to single mothers. We all make choices in life and comparatively our choices are all relatively bad for ourselves and others. I mean, you might choose to smoke, but I chose to not get eight hours of sleep regularly. Someone might choose to be a single mother, but others might choose to ship their kids off to boarding school and never see them.

So anyways, rather than speaking out for the rights of smokers, instead speak out for the rights of red spekkers. They have the right to post on the South Oval, too, dang it!

8timechamps
2/5/2009, 10:54 AM
Single mothers rock! I had one.

soonerbrat
2/5/2009, 10:58 AM
what about single mothers who smoke?

8timechamps
2/5/2009, 12:01 PM
what about single mothers who smoke?

Never had one of those.

Is that the same as single mothers than dance with a pole?

yermom
2/5/2009, 12:34 PM
Never had one of those.

Is that the same as single mothers than dance with a pole?

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/2615/humorsupportsinglemomsbsu1.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/humorsupportsinglemomsbsu1.jpg/1/w350.png (http://g.imageshack.us/img132/humorsupportsinglemomsbsu1.jpg/1/)

Okla-homey
2/5/2009, 04:13 PM
Technically, for every single mother isn't there a single father?

Oh...right... who has custody and who just has their paycheck withdrawn from every month, tee hee :D



There are an astounding number of deadbeat dads out there who have perfected the art of the "down-low", work for cash, don't have bank accounts and thus, they don't pay a nickel on their kids. That's not to mention gangsters and inmates. The gubmint, try as it might, doesn't garnish crapola because there is nothing to garnish. They can't arrest them because no one knows WTF they are.

A suprisingly high number of said deadbeats migrate to the big square states where labor opportunities for cash are plentiful. Alaska has a reputation as being a veritable haven for these types.

Meanwhile, we all pay in the form of higher taxes to help support said kiddoes.

It's a disaster really.

I Am Right
2/5/2009, 04:26 PM
Read the article, the problem is not paying child support the problem is the current media culture of glamorizing single motherhood. The losers are the CHILDREN, WHO Stastically are more likley to be poor, undereducated, use drugs, have sex at an earlier age, commit more crimes. Single mothers are not the victims thier children are

Frozen Sooner
2/5/2009, 04:36 PM
A suprisingly high number of said deadbeats migrate to the big square states where labor opportunities for cash are plentiful. Alaska has a reputation as being a veritable haven for these types.

I can verify this is true.

OUstudent4life
2/5/2009, 04:38 PM
So after we stop all support of single moms (making it FAR less glamorous) to stop crime, can we stop giving any health insurance to anyone that smokes? All you people are driving up my rates.

soonerhubs
2/5/2009, 04:42 PM
Anyone who thinks that single motherhood is a goal, obviously needs to read a few more research articles. I recommend reading any work by Gottman, Cowan & Cowan, and Paul Amato to get started. The bottom line is that single parenting is considered a risk factor. Obviously there are less resources, less time with the children, less stability, and high risks as protective factors such as positive role models, monitoring, and positive parent-child interactions are few and far between.

I'm not saying research doesn't have its biases, but depending on the media for reliable information is a failure to get correct information. If these Metropolitan "Educated" elite females feel that they need children, they better be ready to quit their jobs and devote time to their children, because anything much less is irresponsible. Therein though, lies the double bind because then these single mothers become dependent upon the state. Again, I'm not judging all single parents, only calling the actions of those who do it intentionally as irresponsible and stupid.

OUstudent4life
2/5/2009, 04:45 PM
what about single mothers who smoke?



I'll tell them what I'll tell any parents that smoke...ASTHMA FOR TEH WIN!

On a serious note...don't smoke around kids. At all. Ever. You might as well go wash in bacteria and then give them big hugs.

And "oh, but I smoke outside?"

Yeah. All you did was wash in the bacteria outside, then brought it in.



;);)

You'd be shocked at the number of people that get angry when, because they just went outside to smoke, they're not allowed to see their PREMATURE BABY with LUNG DISEASE.

End thread jack. Goodnight, and good luck.

Tulsa_Fireman
2/5/2009, 04:50 PM
That's stoopid.

My old man smoked all growing up and I run marathons EVERY DAY.

NYC Poke
2/5/2009, 04:56 PM
I get the NYT just about every Sunday (I like to do the crossword) and I really do not recall seeing the article on single motherhood in the magazine. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but I wonder how long ago it was.

eta: It wasn't on Sunday. That issue was all about the economy.

http://www.nytimes.com/pages/magazine/index.html

efta: Oops, it was on Sunday. I must've missed it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/01/magazine/01Moms-t.html?ref=magazine

Viking Kitten
2/5/2009, 05:43 PM
I'll tell them what I'll tell any parents that smoke...ASTHMA FOR TEH WIN!

On a serious note...don't smoke around kids. At all. Ever. You might as well go wash in bacteria and then give them big hugs.

And "oh, but I smoke outside?"

Yeah. All you did was wash in the bacteria outside, then brought it in.



;);)

You'd be shocked at the number of people that get angry when, because they just went outside to smoke, they're not allowed to see their PREMATURE BABY with LUNG DISEASE.

End thread jack. Goodnight, and good luck.

But... but... smoking looks so cool!!

8timechamps
2/5/2009, 05:50 PM
The more I think about it, the more I want to ask who makes it a goal to become a single mother (or single parent for that matter)?

Based on only my life, I have never met anyone that was single that decided to become a single parent to complete a "goal".

Im guessing that the majority of single parents are products of divorce or poor birth control.

Hollywood excepted.

Pricetag
2/5/2009, 06:17 PM
On a serious note...don't smoke around kids. At all. Ever.
When I was a kid and would go over to friends' houses, I was amazed at how awesome some of them smelled. It wasn't that my house smelled bad--it had a completely neutral smell (or so I thought). But their houses had this can't really describe it besides awesome smell about them. I never realized until just recently that it was because no one smoked in them.

Viking Kitten
2/5/2009, 06:21 PM
Yep. The reason I never started smoking is because I grew up with a three-pack-a-day guy. The kind who smoked in the car with all the windows up, and would let his ashtray build up for days at a time. Dis. Gust. Ing. There ain't one single thing "cool" about it.

JLEW1818
2/5/2009, 06:24 PM
Don't have sex unless you can support the outcome !!!!!! DING DING DING !

8timechamps
2/5/2009, 07:54 PM
Yep. The reason I never started smoking is because I grew up with a three-pack-a-day guy. The kind who smoked in the car with all the windows up, and would let his ashtray build up for days at a time. Dis. Gust. Ing. There ain't one single thing "cool" about it.

http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Crazy/mouth-full-of-cigarettes.jpg