Tebow skips Sr. Season

[SCxxSOONER]

Tim Tebow skips sr season , ascends directly into heaven

[Gator996]

It has now been perfected...

[redpurple]

January 09, 2009
Tebow Skips Senior Season, Ascends Directly Into Heaven

MIAMI (SP) -- Shortly after leading the Florida Gators to a national championship with a 24-14 win over Oklahoma, junior quarterback Tim Tebow announced that he would skip his senior season and ascend directly into heaven.

Tebow entered the press room to wild applause. A reporter for a 24-hour cable sports network burst into tears when the 2007 Heisman winner entered the room. Another threw a pair of boxer shorts on the podium. Tebow smiled at the gesture and several sports reporters fainted.

"Sorry I'm late," Tebow began. "There was a six-year-old boy with cancer in row 54 and I had to make my way through the crowd to heal him."

"I want to start by saying that playing quarterback for the University of Florida , winning two national championships, has been a great honor. There has been some speculation about my future and I want to clear that up right now," he continued. "Don't go, Tim!" a reporter shouted from the back of the room. "After much consideration, I have decided to skip my senior season at the University of Florida and ascend directly into Heaven," Tebow announced. Upon making the announcement, Tebow was bathed in a blinding white light and vanished.

In response to the news, ESPN announced they will have a month-long tribute to Tebow. ESPN2 will now be known as ESPN-TEBOW and will feature Tebow highlights (including home videos of Tebow's childhood), re-airings of past interviews, Tebow-centric analysis by ESPN air personalities, a Tebow quiz show and a reality show to find the "most Tebow-like" person in America .

"He wasn't just the greatest player in college football history," said a college football writer at the press conference, tears streaming down his face. "He might have been the greatest person to ever walk on earth."

[CrimsonJim]

*Sigh* And I was hoping the Tebow informercial was over 'til next season.

[josh09]

January 09, 2009
Tebow Skips Senior Season, Ascends Directly Into Heaven

MIAMI (SP) -- Shortly after leading the Florida Gators to a national championship with a 24-14 win over Oklahoma, junior quarterback Tim Tebow announced that he would skip his senior season and ascend directly into heaven.

Tebow entered the press room to wild applause. A reporter for a 24-hour cable sports network burst into tears when the 2007 Heisman winner entered the room. Another threw a pair of boxer shorts on the podium. Tebow smiled at the gesture and several sports reporters fainted.

"Sorry I'm late," Tebow began. "There was a six-year-old boy with cancer in row 54 and I had to make my way through the crowd to heal him."

"I want to start by saying that playing quarterback for the University of Florida , winning two national championships, has been a great honor. There has been some speculation about my future and I want to clear that up right now," he continued. "Don't go, Tim!" a reporter shouted from the back of the room. "After much consideration, I have decided to skip my senior season at the University of Florida and ascend directly into Heaven," Tebow announced. Upon making the announcement, Tebow was bathed in a blinding white light and vanished.

In response to the news, ESPN announced they will have a month-long tribute to Tebow. ESPN2 will now be known as ESPN-TEBOW and will feature Tebow highlights (including home videos of Tebow's childhood), re-airings of past interviews, Tebow-centric analysis by ESPN air personalities, a Tebow quiz show and a reality show to find the "most Tebow-like" person in America .

"He wasn't just the greatest player in college football history," said a college football writer at the press conference, tears streaming down his face. "He might have been the greatest person to ever walk on earth."

BEST.....STORY.....EVAR