Orlando Sentinel's Whitley: Florida 527-16

[soonerloyal]

All trash talk aside, Gators are simply better
David Whitley | SPORTS COMMENTARY
January 7, 2009
MIAMI

In keeping with the theme of this year's BCS title game, let me sum up why Florida will beat Oklahoma:

The Big 12 is actually the Dinky Dozen, Bob Stoops has bad breath and Mike Bianchi would be the fourth-best columnist in a Three Stooges reunion.

This year's game has set the BCS record for trash talk, which is not fine by me. I would prefer this be a sober and thoughtful discussion of statistics, depth charts and historical trends.

Since my counterpart knows nothing about football and cannot defend his pick, he'd rather hurl cheap shots and turn what should be a serious journalistic enterprise into a joke.

Florida will win 527-16.

But first, let me stress that predictions do not mean we want a team to win or lose. In fact, I can unequivocally state that Bianchi wants every team to lose every game.

He's been a tad bitter since being cut from the Interlachen High School chess team for being too short. While Bianchi is picking the Sooners, it's only because he wants Florida fans to hate him as much as those at FSU, Miami, UCF and the Hair Club For Men.

Me? I love every team. It especially pains me to pick against Oklahoma, which I consider one of Rodgers and Hammerstein's finer plays. But as they say on the prairie, facts is facts. Here are a few pertinent ones:

Oklahoma scored something like 4.2 million points this season. Whoopee. Big 12 defenses couldn't stop a broken-down dump truck with six flat tires from rolling uphill.

How is Oklahoma going to stop Florida's semi-tractor of a quarterback? It seems the strategy is to insult him into submission.

Playing the part of Don Rickles has been cornerback Dominique Franks, who uttered the now-famous words, " Tim Tebow wears lace panty hose."

Actually, he said our beloved Timmy would be the fourth-best quarterback in the Big 12. That sent hundreds of reporters stampeding to Tebow for a reaction.

He basically just grinned.

"You don't want to wake a sleeping giant," Percy Harvin said.

I normally don't put much stock in such things, but history has shown Tebow really does have a vengeful streak. If Tebow was the fourth-best mountain climber in Tibet, he would be on top of Mt. Everest doing the Gator Chomp by sundown.

I fully expect Tebow to personally account for about 11 scores Thursday night while cleaning bits of Dominique Franks from between his cleats. Then there's Oklahoma's annual January funk.

This group of Sooners seniors have lost to USC, Boise State, West Virginia, East Virginia, Notre Dame, Akron A&M and the University of Phoenix. I know that's seven year's worth of bowls, but it usually takes that long for an OU player to graduate or be hauled off by the local sheriff.

Sorry, I couldn't help throwing in at least one completely gratuitous insult. Honestly, I have nothing against the Sooners. It's just that on top of all the sober, objective reasons to believe they'll lose, there's this:

Bianchi is 1-0 against me in picking BCS title games. Yes, who could forget two years ago when Mikey stood up, though it was hard to tell, and boldly predicted Florida would beat Ohio State?

He certainly hasn't, and neither have many of the millions of Gators fans who wanted to have me stripped naked and left for dead in Paines Prairie.

I'm not trying to get back in their good graces. My prediction is simply based on two factors.

Florida is a better team. And there's no way Bianchi can go 2-0 in these things.

I just hope I haven't again awakened a sleeping midget.

--- David Whitley can be reached at [email protected].

[Hot Rod]

Starts with


All trash talk aside

contains


Playing the part of Don Rickles has been cornerback Dominique Franks, who uttered the now-famous words, " Tim Tebow wears lace panty hose."

Actually, he said our beloved Timmy would be the fourth-best quarterback in the Big 12. That sent hundreds of reporters stampeding to Tebow for a reaction.

He basically just grinned.

"You don't want to wake a sleeping giant," Percy Harvin said.

Plus, he's in Orlando, which is currently up Tebow's crack.

[soonerloyal]

Sooners will redeem 'big game' name
Mike Bianchi

SPORTS COMMENTARY

January 7, 2009

MIAMI —

There was a time when Oklahoma Coach Bob Stoops was known as "Big Game Bob" because of his penchant for outcoaching the competition in monumental end-of-the-season showdowns.

Likewise, I should be called "Big Game Bianchi" or "Mega Game Mikey" because of my unbelievable acumen for predicting the winner of national championship games involving the Florida Gators. If you're scoring at home, I'm a perfect 3-0 in forecasting the outcome of the University of Florida's national championship games.

My published prediction of a Nebraska victory before the Cornhuskers and jailbird tailback Lawrence Phillips stampeded the Gators 62-24 in the 1996 Fiesta Bowl: "The game is at night and everybody knows criminals do their best work after dark."

My published prediction before Florida annihilated FSU 52-20 in the 1997 Sugar Bowl: "Just as my gut told me the Seminoles would win a close one in the last game [of the regular season] between the two teams, it tells me now the Gators will win the Sugar Bowl and win comfortably."

And, finally, my published prediction two years ago before Florida shocked everyone and pounded Ohio State 41-14 in Phoenix: "I've learned not always to pick the team with the best credentials. Sometimes, you have to pick the team with the most incentive."

That's why I picked Florida then.

That's why I'm picking Oklahoma now.

History shows that when it comes to picking the Gators in the national championship game, I'm the '72 Dolphins. Meanwhile, my opponent, David Whitley, is the '08 Lions.

It almost doesn't seem fair to be predicting against Whitley, who wrote two years ago that Ohio State could beat Florida "with its eyes closed." Sometimes, I think Whitley would be better off writing his column with his eyes closed.

The only two people who pay less attention than Whitley during college football Saturdays are Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden.

Hey, maybe it's time for the Sentinel to hire a prognosticator-in-waiting for Whitley.

As usual, Whitley is just part of the herd mentality that has made Florida the trendy pick in this game. The Gators are the media darlings even though Oklahoma has played better competition. Tim Tebow is the rock star even though Oklahoma's Sam Bradford beat him out for the Heisman.

Even though it was Tebow who threw down the first gauntlet by saying he would use the Heisman snub as motivation, and even though it was Tebow who first slighted Big 12 defenses in comments to CBS commentator Verne Lundquist, it is the Sooners who are being vilified for dissing Tebow.

Such is the Tebow lovefest that pervades college football. When Tebow says something controversial, he's a fiery competitor. When Oklahoma players respond, they are lowdown trash-talkers.

Anybody who's been in South Florida this week can just feel the seething rage that is simmering within Oklahoma's players and coaches. The Sooners look much like the Gators did two years ago: Angry, focused and possessing a chip on their shoulder the size of a Citrus Bowl cockroach.

Stoops has lost his last four BCS bowl games and allowed an average of 42 points in doing so. He's seen his program called "Chokelahoma" and has heard the national media ridicule his "Big Game Bob" moniker.

The Sooners are the No. 1 team in the nation, yet they are the underdog in this game. Oklahoma has perhaps the most potent offense in the history of college football, but its production has been minimized by UF players like Brandon Spikes who called Big 12 defenses "a joke" this week.

When Stoops was asked if his team is using all of the perceived slights as motivation, he intensely stared a hole into his inquisitor and said simply and succinctly: "Maybe."

There's no maybe to it.

This is a definite.

Big Game Bob will make his triumphant return Thursday night.

Big Game Bianchi never went anywhere.

Oklahoma 45, Florida 34.

Mike Bianchi's Open Mike blog can be read at OrlandoSentinel.com/openmike, and his radio show can be heard every weekday from 9-11 a.m. on 1190 AM

[OUDoc]

He got paid to write that?

[OklahomaTuba]

I blame a lot of cost cutting/layoffs by the Orlando Sentinel personally.

[fadada1]

kinda resembles the OU/texas thing on the friday before the game (oklahoma daily vs. texas student toilet paper).

[Knippz]

Oklahoma 45, Florida 34.

Typo - 45-35 Oklahoma. It will indeed be the score we will never forget. :D

[soonerboomer93]

I know we are all ready for thursday night to get here. It's a couple of writers popping trash at each other. Really, who cares?

[soonerboomer93]

kinda resembles the OU/texas thing on the friday before the game (oklahoma daily vs. texas student toilet paper).

I thought the same thing. Really they talked as much trash about eachother as they did about the 2 teams. It's probably designed columns anyways, where one has to wrote for each team.

[NormanPride]

Trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls.

[OUDoc]

Beggars begging from beggars.

[Boomer.....]

Steely's uncle's long lost relative from Florida?

[soonerloyal]

Just two funny commentaries in the Orlando Sentinel's Sports section today.

Gettin' a bit testy towards fellow Sooner Brethren (and in my case Sisters), aren't we?

Light.
This.
Candle.

[SoonersEnFuego]

This is a little geek slap-fight.
Whoopdeedoo and Hoobadeeboo

[RedstickSooner]

C'mon, guys. It's funny. Especially if you expunge the middle school-esque paragraph about our players sticking 'round for 7 years 'til they graduate or get hauled off by the constabulary.

Is it literature? No, but it runs in the sports section. So I'm mostly impressed that most of the words they used were actual, y'know, words. Like you'd find in a dictionary.

It's important to grade sportswriters on a curve :)

[RedstickSooner]

C'mon, guys. It's funny. Especially if you expunge the middle school-esque paragraph about our players sticking 'round for 7 years 'til they graduate or get hauled off by the constabulary.

Is it literature? No, but it runs in the sports section. So I'm mostly impressed that most of the words they used were actual, y'know, words. Like you'd find in a dictionary.

It's important to grade sportswriters on a curve :)

[spatton713]

"You don't want to wake a sleeping giant," Percy Harvin said.


REALLY? So Tebag wasnt already going to come out and play as hard as he possibly could? What was he going to be napping while the game was going on and now hes suddenly gonna play? Come on pleaaaase....REALLY??

[Wishboned]

After Charley Pell's death Whitley wrote about how Pell's transgressions were much less compared to coaches like Barry Switzer.

I sent him an email to complain. He wrote back to wonder how I could complain over a tribute to the Gator coach. I wrote back wondering why he felt the need to drag Switzer down to build Pell up.

He actually apologized to me.

He's still an asshat.

[P3 Gator]

:pop:

[P3 Gator]

This whole thing is tongue in cheek and in response to Bianchi's article.

Bianchi (http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/orl-colbianchi07010709jan07,0,2804222.column)

[Wishboned]

This whole thing is tongue in cheek and in response to Bianchi's article.

Bianchi (http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/orl-colbianchi07010709jan07,0,2804222.column)

Unfortunately it's his *** cheeks because that's all Whitley does is talk out of his ***.

I lived in Orlando for 11 years. There's a reason their paper is called The Slantinel.

[soonerloyal]

This whole thing is tongue in cheek and in response to Bianchi's article.

Bianchi (http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/orl-colbianchi07010709jan07,0,2804222.column)

Well, duh.

Ahem:
Just two funny commentaries in the Orlando Sentinel's Sports section today.


Keep up, darlin'. ;)

[Desert Sapper]

I like this Bianchi guy. Hope he's right.

[Sooner13]

This whole thing is tongue in cheek and in response to Bianchi's article.

Bianchi (http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/orl-colbianchi07010709jan07,0,2804222.column)

Just another example of these gator idjits not reading before they post....