View Full Version : Lardass Question
Frozen Sooner
1/6/2009, 07:09 PM
OK, go ahead.
Ask me anything.
Boomer.....
1/7/2009, 08:57 AM
Is it true that you are allergic to vegetables?
Boomer.....
1/7/2009, 08:57 AM
Is there a beeping noise when you back up?
Boomer.....
1/7/2009, 09:01 AM
Do you bleed gravy?
Boomer.....
1/7/2009, 09:02 AM
Do they actually cut people off at a buffet?
OU4LIFE
1/7/2009, 09:26 AM
Well, he didn't say he'd answer any of them....
Frozen Sooner
1/7/2009, 12:27 PM
Is it true that you are allergic to vegetables?
No. Deep fried mushrooms, for example, are delicious.
Is there a beeping noise when you back up?
No, but I do need a zoning exemption.
Do you bleed gravy?
My blood type is Ragu Positive, thank you very much.
Do they actually cut people off at a buffet?
Only when they run out.
Well, he didn't say he'd answer any of them....
Three hour time difference. Fat guys need to sleep.
frankensooner
1/7/2009, 12:34 PM
Was it hard to drink that whole bottle of castor oil before the pie eating contest?
SoonerTerry
1/7/2009, 12:38 PM
Left cheek, right cheek.. 2 zip codes or time zones?
olevetonahill
1/7/2009, 01:09 PM
If ya Lose the Weight what happens to all that extry Skin ?
Boomer.....
1/7/2009, 01:36 PM
If ya Lose the Weight what happens to all that extry Skin ?
No you cannot use it to make pork rinds.
Hot Rod
1/7/2009, 02:25 PM
Was it hard to drink that whole bottle of castor oil before the pie eating contest?
I was waiting for this to show up.
Frozen Sooner
1/7/2009, 02:39 PM
Was it hard to drink that whole bottle of castor oil before the pie eating contest?
Not as hard as eating all of that blueberry pie.
Left cheek, right cheek.. 2 zip codes or time zones?
The time zones are pretty big 'round these parts.
If ya Lose the Weight what happens to all that extry Skin ?
Pile it on top of your head and never have to buy a tie again.
StoopTroup
1/7/2009, 02:53 PM
Do you find it easier to move around in a State with a land mass as large as Alaska?
Is that why your there?
King Crimson
1/7/2009, 03:32 PM
are the number of stars in the sky odd or even?
Frozen Sooner
1/7/2009, 03:35 PM
Even
stoops the eternal pimp
1/7/2009, 03:37 PM
whats your favorite snack at 2 AM?
Frozen Sooner
1/7/2009, 03:39 PM
whats your favorite snack at 2 AM?
Lobster stuffed with tacos
StoopTroup
1/7/2009, 03:47 PM
I didn't want an answer anyway.
You'd make a great truck driver. Fit right in.
Get your CDL if you bomb out of law school.
Frozen Sooner
1/7/2009, 07:29 PM
Do you find it easier to move around in a State with a land mass as large as Alaska?
Is that why your there?
No, Oklahoma was quite adequate to my needs.
I didn't want an answer anyway.
How about a twinkie?
You'd make a great truck driver. Fit right in.
Get your CDL if you bomb out of law school.
If I'm passing over a bridge, do I need to add my own weight to the GVW?
No, Oklahoma was quite adequate to my needs.
How about a twinkie?
If I'm passing over a bridge, do I need to add my own weight to the GVW?
Not if you stick to your diet.
There. I gave you a 2 for 1: Lose weight and pass law school. I'm trying to do the same thing, well, minus the law school thing. Get skinny so you can have sex with as many 23 year olds as you can.
Good luck. I hope I provided you with the proper amount of motivation.
StoopTroup
1/7/2009, 08:33 PM
Losing weight is harder than law school?
proud gonzo
1/7/2009, 11:20 PM
No. Deep fried mushrooms, for example, are delicious.
:les: THOSE AREN'T VEGETABLES!
olevetonahill
1/8/2009, 12:12 AM
I am so Glad that extry Hide aint going to waste , I was sure they Made Gator Fans from it .
What do the little lint balls under fat rolls smell like?
Frozen Sooner
1/8/2009, 01:32 AM
What do the little lint balls under fat rolls smell like?
Magic.
SteelCitySooner
1/8/2009, 02:32 AM
What was your New Years resolution?
KC//CRIMSON
1/8/2009, 02:39 AM
Ever shag an Eskimo?
Frozen Sooner
1/8/2009, 03:26 AM
What was your New Years resolution?
To post snarky comments on a message board.
Ever shag an Eskimo?
I have shagged several Native Alaskans. Some of them were from Eskimo tribes, some were from Indian tribes, and some were from Athabascan tribes. A couple were a combination.
Craziest? A half Yup'ik/half Puerto Rican.
KC//CRIMSON
1/8/2009, 03:33 AM
I have shagged several Native Alaskans. Some of them were from Eskimo tribes, some were from Indian tribes, and some were from Athabascan tribes. A couple were a combination.
Craziest? A half Yup'ik/half Puerto Rican.
Is it as cold as they say it is? :D
Jimminy Crimson
1/8/2009, 06:13 AM
Yes.
Okla-homey
1/8/2009, 08:46 AM
To post snarky comments on a message board.
I have shagged several Native Alaskans. Some of them were from Eskimo tribes, some were from Indian tribes, and some were from Athabascan tribes. A couple were a combination.
Craziest? A half Yup'ik/half Puerto Rican.
mmmmm. what exactly does seal chili taste like?
proud gonzo
1/8/2009, 12:06 PM
so you have to use a pulley system to put on your pants?
BigRedJed
1/8/2009, 01:15 PM
Has anyone ever mistaken you for the Kool-Aid man?
Viking Kitten
1/8/2009, 01:36 PM
Are half Yup'ik/half Puerto Ricans known chubby chasers?
Frozen Sooner
1/8/2009, 01:39 PM
Is it as cold as they say it is? :D
Even known an Army dood to get something right about 'tang?
mmmmm. what exactly does seal chili taste like?
Victory
so you have to use a pulley system to put on your pants?
I generally just go with a mumu.
Has anyone ever mistaken you for the Kool-Aid man?
Ohhhhhh yeah!
Are half Yup'ik/half Puerto Ricans known chubby chasers?
Looking for a date? You're all skinny and stuff now anyway!
BigRedJed
1/8/2009, 01:41 PM
Do they sell belts in your size, or do you just use a length of rope?
proud gonzo
1/8/2009, 01:41 PM
Do you roll down hills to save time and energy?
Viking Kitten
1/8/2009, 01:43 PM
Have you ever used "Got a little eskimo in you? Would you like one?" as a pickup line?
BigRedJed
1/8/2009, 01:45 PM
If you and I are watching television and you get up to get a beer, walking between me and the TV screen, how many minutes of my show would I miss?
Viking Kitten
1/8/2009, 01:48 PM
If you wore a yellow raincoat, would folks mistake you for a taxi?
KC//CRIMSON
1/8/2009, 01:49 PM
Ever thought about having your kitchen stapled?
BigRedJed
1/8/2009, 01:53 PM
When you started exercising, did scientists express a concern that it might cause a wobble in the earth's rotation?
Frozen Sooner
1/8/2009, 01:55 PM
Do they sell belts in your size, or do you just use a length of rope?
Again, mumu
Do you roll down hills to save time and energy?
I generally find that whatever's at the bottom of the hill isn't worth the effort of climbing back up it.
Have you ever used "Got a little eskimo in you? Would you like one?" as a pickup line?
I'm neither little nor an Eskimo.
If you and I are watching television and you get up to get a beer, walking between me and the TV screen, how many minutes of my show would I miss?
Meaningless question. Go fetch me a beer, bitch.
If you wore a yellow raincoat, would folks mistake you for a taxi?
No, but kids wearing helmets try to jump on my back all the time.
Ever thought about having your kitchen stapled?
That's just silly.
BigRedJed
1/8/2009, 01:58 PM
Which brand of shortening tastes best when eating it by itself, out of the can?
Viking Kitten
1/8/2009, 02:00 PM
Is your butt's gravitational pull sufficient enough to attract small satellites?
BigRedJed
1/8/2009, 02:36 PM
Do you have to iron your pants in the driveway, and if so what do you do when there is snow on the ground?
Viking Kitten
1/8/2009, 02:37 PM
Do people mistake your stretchmarks for a New York City transit map?
BigRedJed
1/8/2009, 02:41 PM
Would you care for some more gravy?
Viking Kitten
1/8/2009, 02:43 PM
Ewww.
SoonerTerry
1/8/2009, 03:21 PM
have you ever lost anything, then later found it in your butcrack?
Hot Rod
1/8/2009, 03:39 PM
How do your get your pecs to go all the way to your back?
proud gonzo
1/8/2009, 04:24 PM
Do they issue tsunami warnings in Japan when you go swimming?
proud gonzo
1/8/2009, 04:27 PM
Have you ever been humped by a whale during mating season?
BigRedJed
1/8/2009, 06:43 PM
When you were with the half Yup'ik/half Puerto Rican girl, did she have to roll over twice to climb off of you?
Viking Kitten
1/8/2009, 07:05 PM
Did you secretly find it arousing when Princess Leia strangled you with her slave chains?
BigRedJed
1/8/2009, 07:19 PM
Are you searchable on Google Earth?
proud gonzo
1/9/2009, 06:37 PM
how many times have you been tagged by graffiti artists?
olevetonahill
1/9/2009, 07:23 PM
Have you ever Ate an Eskimo
Pie ?
OmaniacU
1/9/2009, 11:18 PM
Is it true that when they checked your cholesterol, all they got was bacon grease?
BudSooner
1/9/2009, 11:31 PM
so you have to use a pulley system to put on your pants?
I damn near blew out a lung laughing at this. :D
If you and I are watching television and you get up to get a beer, walking between me and the TV screen, how many minutes of my show would I miss?
From my experience....hope you have a dvr. ;)
have you ever lost anything, then later found it in your butcrack?
I know I have, i'm still amazed I didn't find that rechargable razor..what with the charger cord hanging out back there.
BlondeSoonerGirl
1/10/2009, 09:40 AM
Do you wake up in sections?
BlondeSoonerGirl
1/10/2009, 10:04 AM
If you jumped up in the air would you get stuck?
BlondeSoonerGirl
1/10/2009, 10:05 AM
On Halloween, do you say 'Trick or Meatloaf'?
BlondeSoonerGirl
1/10/2009, 10:11 AM
Do your jeans have stretch marks?
BlondeSoonerGirl
1/10/2009, 10:16 AM
Do you put mayonnaise on your blood pressure pills?
BlondeSoonerGirl
1/10/2009, 10:17 AM
Does China ever call you and ask you to stop 'stomping around up there'?
BlondeSoonerGirl
1/10/2009, 10:21 AM
Do you drive a Spandex car?
BlondeSoonerGirl
1/10/2009, 10:24 AM
Does the National Weather Service name your farts?
Viking Kitten
1/10/2009, 04:41 PM
When you look at your thighs in the mirror, do you get hungry for cottage cheese?
StoopTroup
1/10/2009, 05:05 PM
Do you use a mirror to tell if you need to trim your toenails?
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