Even Patton Oswalt knows Jason Statham rules [Archive]

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bri

1/5/2009, 04:37 PM

Certainly. Everybody knows that.

Gay-tham for Statham (http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=67077201&blogID=461660900&indicate=1)

I don't know how much say he has in the films he makes. But I get the impression that he reads the scripts. And if the script doesn't make him want to drive a bulldozer through a cake store, I'll bet he punches the script through a wall.

StoopTroup

1/5/2009, 05:13 PM

Funny read.

stoops the eternal pimp

1/5/2009, 05:24 PM

We rented Death Race this weekend....My wife asked if he played the same character in every movie and I told her he wasn't playing a character

BudSooner

1/5/2009, 06:18 PM

then ****s Kate Winslet literate.

I would pay good money to see this happen. :D

bri

1/5/2009, 06:31 PM

We rented Death Race this weekend....My wife asked if he played the same character in every movie and I told her he wasn't playing a character

You should check out FilmDrunk's (http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com) Jason Statham impression sometime. :D

Oi, ****s, da Staf ‘ere. Oy donno if you ****s rememba, but a whoile back, dis French **** wiz troyin ta say dat da Staf’s characta in da Transpor’a pahts one an two wiz gaiy. Now, whoilst da Staf ain’ got nuffin against da gaiys, if a **** calls da Staf gaiy, Oy’s ain’ got no choice but ta do everyfing in moy powa ta prove da **** wrong, now doesn’ dey? So dat’s whin Oy stah’ed callin’ ****s on da fone an sayin’, “Oi. Moy naime ees Chev Chelios, an’ todaiy’s da day Oy doy.” Oi, you ****s rememba dat movie, donnit? Roighto, so long story fock’n short, Oy’s doin’ anuvva Chev Chelios movie, an’ dis toime, oy’s shaggin da birds roight on da camera. So if some **** comes along an troys ta say dat da Staf is a gay, you kin just point to da fock’n screen an say, “Oi, ****, if da Staf is gay, den whoy ‘as ‘e got ‘is dong stuck in dat bird?” An’ da ****’ll probly feel well stupid, cuz what koinda gay ‘as got ‘is knob inna bird?

:D

KC//CRIMSON

1/7/2009, 04:02 PM

The Expendables

It gets tedious covering every piece of casting news--there's only so much you can say when Kate Hudson joins another romantic comedy--and thus I often overlook it. Generally it isn't a big deal, but in the case of my ignoring casting on Sylvester Stallone's upcoming action/adventure, The Expendables, I admit I've made a mistake. He's been putting together a crew of classic action actors that rivals even when there were two Jean-Claude Van Dammes in Double Impact. Just look at this group:

Mickey Rourke has joined the ranks of "The Expendables," joining the ensemble of the Sylvester Stallone-directed action adventure for Nu Image/Millennium Films.

Rourke will play an unscrupulous arms dealer who becomes the go-to guy for a group of mercenaries planning to topple a South American dictator.

Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Randy Couture and Dolph Lungdren play the title characters. Forest Whitaker and Ben Kingsley are also circling the project.

So it's the most definitive bad-*** team you can imagine (minus Arnold, Seagal, and Van Damme, obviously), plus Ben Kingsley. It's like he's there to sanction all the murdering. It would just be senseless violence with that crew shoving their boots in people's brains, but if you've got Gandhi on the team, it must be for the greater good.

Frozen Sooner

1/7/2009, 04:06 PM

Heh.

Ben Kingsley once again proving that he will appear in anything if it's paid work.

One of the funnier moments in Entourage was Ben Kingsley counseling Vince to not just take any project that comes down the pipe.

bri

1/7/2009, 04:22 PM

Once again, I prefer FilmDrunk's coverage of The Expendables casting:

COUTURE JOINS STATHAM, LI, LUNDGREN

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/randy-belt.jpg

Sylvester Stallone called Harry from AICN this morning to report some new details about the already awesome-sounding The Expendables:
[Former] UFC Heavyweight Champion Randy Couture has been added to the movie’s cast, joining the already announced Jason Statham, Jet Li, and Dolph Lundgren. Forrest [sic] Whittaker has also been cast in the film, which rolls this March in Brazil. Oh, and look for Jet Li to fight Dolph Lundgren.
Jesus Christ. I might have to lift weights before I go see this movie. Naturally, I asked The Stath what he thought of his new co-star.
Oi, c*nts, da Staf’ ‘eah. Oi: so dey fink dis c*nt's some koinda foighta, now does dey? Roight - punchin c*nts is one fing, but da fit birds ain’ even gonna notice if ‘e ain’ got a propa sazz wagon or a BMX boicycle. Aldough Oy must admit, Oy do loike da c*nt's shoiny fock’n sazz belt. Oy should definitely get one a dose. Only problem wif belts is dat da birds is usually troiyin ta get moy trousahs down, not ‘old ‘em up, now doesn’ dey?

KC//CRIMSON

1/7/2009, 04:35 PM

Oi! jess had ta one up me, c*nt!

bri

1/7/2009, 04:59 PM

Dat's woy I get all da fit birds.

SoonersEnFuego

1/9/2009, 02:39 PM

I love Patton.

But not in the man crush way he loves Jason Statham.

SoonersEnFuego

1/9/2009, 05:38 PM

Bri!

I will have all of your LINKS!!! Pronto.

bri

1/16/2009, 12:01 PM

UrCGpUKhadU

Awesome.

King Crimson

1/16/2009, 12:25 PM

this is kinda funny, i watched the Italian Job last night....heh.

bri

1/30/2009, 03:17 PM

The Super Bowl just got 500% more awesomer:

m-dd9zIG87A

KC//CRIMSON

1/30/2009, 05:58 PM

2ZwyhJzSUVY

Jason and Alex taking photo/video around the 7 minute mark, then Jason congratulating Fedor after the fight.

KC//CRIMSON

2/10/2009, 11:21 AM

Heh.

http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2009/02/10/crank-2-high-volt-poster.jpg

bri

2/10/2009, 11:50 AM

Damn you to hell for beating me to that. :D

bri

2/18/2009, 02:46 PM

bri

3/12/2009, 05:16 PM

Stone Cold Steve Austin is now joining the cast. God damn, I love this movie and they haven't even made it yet.

KC//CRIMSON

3/12/2009, 05:28 PM

Patton Oswalt was in Balls Of Fury for all of about ninety seconds, and killed it.

colleyvillesooner

3/13/2009, 02:40 PM

bri

3/13/2009, 03:07 PM

I need to pick up one of these before I go see The Expendables:

http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg214/nelson1999/brownpride_big_chc.jpg

Wow, Danny Trejo's clothing company uses Photobucket to host their images? Fancy!

KC//CRIMSON

3/24/2009, 06:57 PM

'Crank 2' Has a See You Next Tuesday Labeling Utility

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3438/3382983981_419d7bf6cf_o.jpg

Been looking for a way to add a single insulting word to photographs but can't be bothered to open Photoshop, Paint, Word, or any other program that's able to easily accomplish this task? Then doyouthinkivegot****writtenonmyforehead.com is just what you've been looking for, because that is the only thing it does. It's all part of Crank 2's esoteric viral marketing efforts to make a reference to one moment in the first film.

Thus far in the user gallery, someone has made the obvious but undeniable connection between the big C word and George W. Bush, while someone else uploaded the face of Bob the Builder and brilliantly labeled him "bob". Can you do better?

KC//CRIMSON

4/23/2009, 09:49 PM

Dat's woy I get all da fit birds.

Amy Smart went shopping this afternoon. Just thought you might want to know that...

http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2009/04/0423%20Amy%20Smart%20Butt/gallery_main/gallery_main-0423_amy_smart_butt_01.jpg

bri

4/23/2009, 10:57 PM

I want to bite that ***. Such a dirty bird.

Crucifax Autumn

4/24/2009, 03:15 AM

I'd hit it!

KC//CRIMSON

4/25/2009, 05:34 PM

The Expendables just got bad-assier. (http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/02/danny-trejo-joins-expendables)

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/trejo-machete.jpg

Fun Fact: "Danny Trejo" is Spanish for "Jason Statham". OOH-WAH-AH-AH-AH!!

At a news conference yesterday, Robert Rodriguez confirmed rumors he's going to relaunch the Predator series, but judging by the film's new title, sounds like there's going to be a slight change:

Director Robert Rodriguez has taken on the 20th Century Fox PREDATOR franchise and creating a newly rebooted "PREDATORS."

We've heard the rumblings that this was coming via B-D, but now it's been confirmed. IESB has also confirmed it will be Rodriguez' own take on the original concept and he is in fact not only producing the reboot, he's also directing it.

Rodriguez talked to the audience of press members and revealed his upcoming film slate.

"I'm going to be able to shoot my upcoming Machete here, a sci-fi action film called Nervewrackers, a re-boot of the Predator series called Predators, and a couple of smaller movies called Sin City 2 and The Jetsons."

Wait a minute--did he just say Predators? As in more than one Predator!? What a sly change. Great work, Double R. Get to work on that after you finish all the other movies you probably aren't ever going to start. And make sure Rose McGowan plays the majority of the Predators.

UPDATE: Oh, and it will be out July 7 next year.

Side note: Trejo was just in an episode of Breaking Bad too. FTW.

bri

4/26/2009, 10:47 PM

http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/93/l_73f9f2bb45b748029a9a8d34e6ac93cd.jpg

picasso

4/26/2009, 11:05 PM

I like Tuuuurkish better.

KC//CRIMSON

4/30/2009, 12:05 PM

Stone Cold Steve Austin is now joining the cast. God damn, I love this movie and they haven't even made it yet.

JHjw7B0noAk

Want to see some guys diving away from a giant explosion? Sure you do. The entire action genre is based around studio executives knowing you always want to see that. So enjoy this brief behind-the-scenes featurette from the set of The Expendables. You'll not only see just such a classic explosion-dive-away, you'll also get a little Directing 101 from Sylvester Stallone. First lesson: if you like how a scene turned out, grunt "that's sex" so that the crew knows they did a good job.