BuckyB
12/18/2008, 03:59 PM
Hey guys, I think its time we got to the bottom of all this jorts business. Hope you enjoy.
From SoonerDudes.com (http://soonerdudes.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/the-long-and-jort-of-it/):
----------
The Long and Jort of it
Crack open an ice-cold Bud Light (http://www.gatorswearjeanshorts.net/blog/jorts.mp3), Mr. Tebow.
http://soonerdudes.wordpress.com/files/2008/12/100_5098.jpg
Tim Tebow wears jorts. Long has the outside world heard this accusation about Florida’s Heisman-winning quarterback, laughing it off as mere Southeastern Conference goonery. But now that the BCS National Championship Game is set between our Sooners and Tebow’s Gators, it’s time we got to the bottom of Jortsgate.
Jorts — a combination of jeans and shorts. A jortmanteau of portmanteau. As a younger lad I owned a pair and so did you, possibly a whole collection. Jorts are firmly enshrined in the game day attire hall of shame, someplace between socks-with-sandals and the mullet. While it’s hard to determine the age at which jorts become socially inexcusable, many point to the third grade. But among the Gator fan base, grown men continue to make this most unfortunate of fashion decisions.
While Sooner fans are more familiar with the burnt orange manktop (male tank-top) — it comes out in full force every second Saturday of October — it’s jorts that are known all too well in SEC country. Well enough, in fact, that myth has grown regarding players and their association with them.
Hence, Tim Tebow wears jorts — perhaps the most popular College Gameday sign (http://soonerdudes.wordpress.com/2008/11/05/signs-of-the-times/) of the past three years.
So is there any truth to these accusations? Speculation rose last June when this picture began circulating on blogs and message boards from Athens, Ga. to Baton Rouge, La.:
http://soonerdudes.wordpress.com/files/2008/12/o63466.jpg
The jorts enthusiast in all of us will be disappointed to learn that the picture is undoubtedly a fabrication. But that didn’t stop Sports Illustrated from dropping the jorts bomb on Tebow earlier this year:
SI.com: How many pairs of jorts do you own?
TT: <Laughs> “I don’t have a pair of jean shorts. I did when I was younger. I’m not going to lie. That picture is fake. I think people just Photoshopped that in. I haven’t worn jean shorts in awhile.”
But Tebow’s faux jorts are far from the beginning of the Gator Nation’s love affair with the jort. So how did it all begin?
While many are quick to mention the legend of Paul “Jorts” Bryant (http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Jorts), others maintain that with the rugged durability of jeans and the practical flexibility of shorts, it was only a matter of time before jorts took off.
Reputable jorts scholars widely credit Gator-hater and Georgia alum Kevin Davis (http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/college/orl-sportsfbcjorts28112808nov28,0,5362682.story) as responsible for jorts’ fall from grace. Back in the fall of 1997, Davis and a few buddies were in attendance for the annual Florida-Georgia game in Jacksonville, Fla. (Although the Georgia Student Body is known to call for an occasional “blackout” in which the entire stadium dawns black shirts and hats, Gator fans had not declared this contest a “jortsout.”)
“On the way in we were being heckled by a Gator wearing jean shorts and a God-awful Florida tank top, sleeveless — it was just disgusting,” says Davis. “And he was calling us Gator bait and doing the Gator chomp.
http://soonerdudes.wordpress.com/files/2008/12/gator-jorts.jpg
“He looked to be in his 50s, yet probably because of all of his drinking and smoking, he was probably only 33.” What happened next would change the landscape of the rivalry from that day forward. Davis began his famous chant, “Gators wear jean shorts.”
More than ten years later, the tradition lives on:
r7BZI_ROwMo
What Davis started over a decade ago now has real implications for Sooner fans’ experience this January in Miami. But be well advised that Gator fans do not take kindly to jorts-bashing. If you’re strolling along South Beach and find yourself being heckled by a Gator, exercise caution with your next move. If you pick on his girlfriend, you’re fine. If you pick on his jorts, you’ve crossed the line. If you pick on his girlfriend’s jorts, just be ready to throw down.
The long and short of it is this. In my hours spent researching jorts in hopes to equip my fellow Sooners, who will inevitably be bombarded with chants of “Gator Bait” on January 8, I’m left with one question: Who’s the one with issues — the guy wearing jorts, or the guy blogging about it?
So in an attempt to move on with my life I offer you this, a display of my jorts intelligence quotient and clearinghouse of frequently asked questions.
Q: Is it okay to make my own “cut-off” jorts?
A: In this economy, times are tough. No one should begrudge you saving a few bucks on a pair homemade jorts. So grab a pair of worn-out Wranglers and a durable pair of scissors and go to work. Take it from one jorts aficionado (http://blackflaggedonline.com/2008/08/18/jorts-center/):
“It’s time to rethink everything we know about jorts. We’ve gotten lazy when it comes to jorts. We are all guilty of going to the store and buying our jorts off the rack. That’s a major no no! True jorts are homemade. I know, I know, no one has the time or the energy to make their own jorts anymore. But trust me, nothing feels better than slipping your bare legs into a pair of homemade jean shorts. The sense of pride and accomplishment you feel in your jorts will be second only to how good you look while wearing them!”
Here’s a YouTube tutorial for making yourself a killer pair (just remember, four inches from the plums):
10_ZhWpB9LA
Q: Is it advisable to leave enough room in the waistband of your jorts to fit a Miller Light can?
A: Yes. But remember, your jorts should always be built for comfort. While this technique may work for you, some prefer their jorts to fit a bit snugger.
Q: Should I wear a belt with my jorts?
A: If you’re going to go down that road, do a little research first. Trust me, it pays to stay current on your jorts etiquette (http://blackflaggedonline.com/2008/08/18/jorts-center/):
“Most people think that jorts should be worn beltless. Well you had better buckle up because I’m here to tell you that this season has been all about accessorizing your jorts. Rope is so last year. This year, why don’t you try a little ribbon and tie it in a nice big bow up front? Too much for you? How about a little barbed wire or an extension cord? There is no wrong way to belt your jorts.”
If fashion is a war, now you’re fighting dirty.
Boomer Sooner.
From SoonerDudes.com (http://soonerdudes.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/the-long-and-jort-of-it/):
----------
The Long and Jort of it
Crack open an ice-cold Bud Light (http://www.gatorswearjeanshorts.net/blog/jorts.mp3), Mr. Tebow.
http://soonerdudes.wordpress.com/files/2008/12/100_5098.jpg
Tim Tebow wears jorts. Long has the outside world heard this accusation about Florida’s Heisman-winning quarterback, laughing it off as mere Southeastern Conference goonery. But now that the BCS National Championship Game is set between our Sooners and Tebow’s Gators, it’s time we got to the bottom of Jortsgate.
Jorts — a combination of jeans and shorts. A jortmanteau of portmanteau. As a younger lad I owned a pair and so did you, possibly a whole collection. Jorts are firmly enshrined in the game day attire hall of shame, someplace between socks-with-sandals and the mullet. While it’s hard to determine the age at which jorts become socially inexcusable, many point to the third grade. But among the Gator fan base, grown men continue to make this most unfortunate of fashion decisions.
While Sooner fans are more familiar with the burnt orange manktop (male tank-top) — it comes out in full force every second Saturday of October — it’s jorts that are known all too well in SEC country. Well enough, in fact, that myth has grown regarding players and their association with them.
Hence, Tim Tebow wears jorts — perhaps the most popular College Gameday sign (http://soonerdudes.wordpress.com/2008/11/05/signs-of-the-times/) of the past three years.
So is there any truth to these accusations? Speculation rose last June when this picture began circulating on blogs and message boards from Athens, Ga. to Baton Rouge, La.:
http://soonerdudes.wordpress.com/files/2008/12/o63466.jpg
The jorts enthusiast in all of us will be disappointed to learn that the picture is undoubtedly a fabrication. But that didn’t stop Sports Illustrated from dropping the jorts bomb on Tebow earlier this year:
SI.com: How many pairs of jorts do you own?
TT: <Laughs> “I don’t have a pair of jean shorts. I did when I was younger. I’m not going to lie. That picture is fake. I think people just Photoshopped that in. I haven’t worn jean shorts in awhile.”
But Tebow’s faux jorts are far from the beginning of the Gator Nation’s love affair with the jort. So how did it all begin?
While many are quick to mention the legend of Paul “Jorts” Bryant (http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Jorts), others maintain that with the rugged durability of jeans and the practical flexibility of shorts, it was only a matter of time before jorts took off.
Reputable jorts scholars widely credit Gator-hater and Georgia alum Kevin Davis (http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/college/orl-sportsfbcjorts28112808nov28,0,5362682.story) as responsible for jorts’ fall from grace. Back in the fall of 1997, Davis and a few buddies were in attendance for the annual Florida-Georgia game in Jacksonville, Fla. (Although the Georgia Student Body is known to call for an occasional “blackout” in which the entire stadium dawns black shirts and hats, Gator fans had not declared this contest a “jortsout.”)
“On the way in we were being heckled by a Gator wearing jean shorts and a God-awful Florida tank top, sleeveless — it was just disgusting,” says Davis. “And he was calling us Gator bait and doing the Gator chomp.
http://soonerdudes.wordpress.com/files/2008/12/gator-jorts.jpg
“He looked to be in his 50s, yet probably because of all of his drinking and smoking, he was probably only 33.” What happened next would change the landscape of the rivalry from that day forward. Davis began his famous chant, “Gators wear jean shorts.”
More than ten years later, the tradition lives on:
r7BZI_ROwMo
What Davis started over a decade ago now has real implications for Sooner fans’ experience this January in Miami. But be well advised that Gator fans do not take kindly to jorts-bashing. If you’re strolling along South Beach and find yourself being heckled by a Gator, exercise caution with your next move. If you pick on his girlfriend, you’re fine. If you pick on his jorts, you’ve crossed the line. If you pick on his girlfriend’s jorts, just be ready to throw down.
The long and short of it is this. In my hours spent researching jorts in hopes to equip my fellow Sooners, who will inevitably be bombarded with chants of “Gator Bait” on January 8, I’m left with one question: Who’s the one with issues — the guy wearing jorts, or the guy blogging about it?
So in an attempt to move on with my life I offer you this, a display of my jorts intelligence quotient and clearinghouse of frequently asked questions.
Q: Is it okay to make my own “cut-off” jorts?
A: In this economy, times are tough. No one should begrudge you saving a few bucks on a pair homemade jorts. So grab a pair of worn-out Wranglers and a durable pair of scissors and go to work. Take it from one jorts aficionado (http://blackflaggedonline.com/2008/08/18/jorts-center/):
“It’s time to rethink everything we know about jorts. We’ve gotten lazy when it comes to jorts. We are all guilty of going to the store and buying our jorts off the rack. That’s a major no no! True jorts are homemade. I know, I know, no one has the time or the energy to make their own jorts anymore. But trust me, nothing feels better than slipping your bare legs into a pair of homemade jean shorts. The sense of pride and accomplishment you feel in your jorts will be second only to how good you look while wearing them!”
Here’s a YouTube tutorial for making yourself a killer pair (just remember, four inches from the plums):
10_ZhWpB9LA
Q: Is it advisable to leave enough room in the waistband of your jorts to fit a Miller Light can?
A: Yes. But remember, your jorts should always be built for comfort. While this technique may work for you, some prefer their jorts to fit a bit snugger.
Q: Should I wear a belt with my jorts?
A: If you’re going to go down that road, do a little research first. Trust me, it pays to stay current on your jorts etiquette (http://blackflaggedonline.com/2008/08/18/jorts-center/):
“Most people think that jorts should be worn beltless. Well you had better buckle up because I’m here to tell you that this season has been all about accessorizing your jorts. Rope is so last year. This year, why don’t you try a little ribbon and tie it in a nice big bow up front? Too much for you? How about a little barbed wire or an extension cord? There is no wrong way to belt your jorts.”
If fashion is a war, now you’re fighting dirty.
Boomer Sooner.