Florida's players are so fast ?

[boomermagic]

Take it from here.. How fast are they ?

[Knippz]

...they are credited for inventing the drug 'Speed'.

[DrZaius]

They have already posted and deleted messages in this thread.

[DrZaius]

.....they leave the ladies wanting more. A lot more.

[The Preach Man]

They are so fast that they will almost be able to defend our offense. They will also score at least 4 points.

[fadada1]

thank heavens it's just that - think if they lifted weights.

[Bosley]

Whenever they intercept a football and start running to score they find the endzone is now a beach and they're standing in front of a half buried statue of liberty on a planet populated by apes.

[Howzit]

....when they turn on their headlights, nothing happens.

[Hot Rod]

...they've gone to Ludicrous speed!

[fadada1]

...they've gone to Ludicrous speed!

...and straight into plaid!!!

[The Maestro]

...Lee Corso will be saying the week leading up to the game, "Not so FLORIDA, my friend!"

[fadada1]

...Lee Corso will be saying the week leading up to the game, "Not so FLORIDA, my friend!"

:D

[adoniijahsooner]

The hair club for men prohibit their users from attending florida football games, because their hair pieces are not able to withstand the wind speeds created by harvin and demps.

[Knippz]

...they already played the game against us. We lost guys, we just don't know it yet. And they didn't give up 60.

[My Opinion Matters]

Florida is so fast they can touch MC Hammer.

[My Opinion Matters]

Florida's so fast they can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.

[adoniijahsooner]

That Mack Brown rented a couple to run his banner from Florida to California in 3 days.

[HiFiGator]

so fast ... they make Usain Bolt jealous.

[leavingthezoo]

... the speeding bullet is wondering what just passed it.

[ATX Sooner]

Usain Bolt doesn't have a chance in the 100M against them.

[ATX Sooner]

dang....someone beat me to the Usain Bolt thing.

How about....

1 pump chump. That's twice as fast as a 2 pump chump.

[Circle City Gator]

....when they turn on their headlights, nothing happens.

Okay, that's funny.

[Knippz]

...they created Ussain Bolt, to take the attention off the speed of their team.

[My Opinion Matters]

Florida's so fast it takes them 20 minutes to watch "60 Minutes".

[1890MilesToNorman]

... that if they slow down they will blow up!
... that a blink of an eye is more accurate than the stop watch!
... that the slowest player runs a 3.4 40!
... that they get more action then Jenna Jamison!

[SoonerLB]

...they've gone to Ludicrous speed!

Correction: ...they've gone to Ludicrous FOR speed, but he always tells them he's out...

[Knippz]

...that they can load Soonerfans at a normal forum speed.

[NYC Poke]

They need to find a love that's gonna last.

[guzziguy]

They turn off the light switch and are in bed before the room gets dark.

[fadada1]

dang....someone beat me to the Usain Bolt thing.


clearly, a florida player.

[1890MilesToNorman]

... that Wylie Coyote is looking for a replacement to ACME for his contraptions.

[fossil]

:) When they return punts and kickoffs, they always get called for roughing the kicker???

[tommieharris91]

Urban Meyer thought Usain Bolt was too slow for his team.

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... they finished reading your post before you hit "Submit New Thread".

[soonerboy_odanorth]

...and before I hit "Post Quick Reply"...

[BetterSoonerThanLater]

their speedometers read miles per second instead of miles per hour.

[Jacie]

. . . even Teddy Lehman can't keep up with em.

[Dan Thompson]

Oh humanity, we're doomed.

[CaliBornSoonerBred]

that chuck norris goes through florida spring practice to keep up on his speed

[cheezyq]

that chuck norris goes through florida spring practice to keep up on his speed

That wasn't Superman flying the opposite direction around the earth to go back in time. That was Percy Harvin....jogging.

[Hot Rod]

that they get movies on DVD before they hit theaters!

[Landthief 1972]

...so fast that the Almighty Tebow rose from the dead on the FIRST day after his crucifixion.

[Landthief 1972]

...that the UF cheerleaders they knock up get postpartum depression before conception.

[Mark_in_Tulsa]

Florida is so fast they can run around the earth and punch themselves in the back of the head.

[hntrboomer]

Florida is so fast they can run around the earth and punch themselves in the back of the head.Can ou do that?

[BrockLanders]

there is no such thing as the 2-minute offense. Nothing Florida does takes 2 minutes.

[hntrboomer]

there is no such thing as the 2-minute offense. Nothing Florida does takes 2 minutes.

Actually when the Gators want to score in 2 mins or less they do. A pass happy attack in a driving rainstorm.

[Dallas]

So fast....they can catch a fart and paint it green.

[Crucifax Autumn]

Florida players are so fast they leave a warp signature.

[Curly Bill]

...that if they ran in a circle they'd create a tornado.

[Crucifax Autumn]

Sao fast they made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs

[Curly Bill]

...that their entire team lapped the field in the Boston Marathon.

[Curly Bill]

...they could bring back the Pony Express without the ponies.

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they can sneak attack assrape themselves

[Crucifax Autumn]

...that when they finish a game they go home and watch themselves live.

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they can do missinary work DURING the game without missing a play

[Curly Bill]

...they get speeding tickets while running wind sprints.

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they can donkey punch their dad at their own conception

[tator]

...they can steal coats without getting caught

[Mark_in_Tulsa]

...are so fast they get their tax returns before they file their taxes.

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they're only in the womb for 9 days

[Crucifax Autumn]

...their futere grandkids already have the runs

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they use flintstone cars in indy races

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they track down the buck before the bullet strikes

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they've already scored 30 on us....



in the 2012 BCS Championship game

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they start their backups

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they crap before the food is cooked

[Crucifax Autumn]

...meth puts 'em to sleep

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they fart nitrous

[Crucifax Autumn]

...cheetahs go "Dayum!"

[Crucifax Autumn]

...their divorces are final before they consummate

[Crucifax Autumn]

...their women say "already?" 3 days before the date

[Crucifax Autumn]

...their chads are dimpled

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they had to use a nailgun to crucify tebow

[Crucifax Autumn]

...their sacs are permanently wedged between their cheeks

[Crucifax Autumn]

...their ears are on the back of their heads

[soonerboy_odanorth]

...they're outlawed from participating in NASCAR....(nowhere to attach the restrictor plates....)

[soonerboy_odanorth]

...the sun rises in the West and sets in the East....

[soonerboy_odanorth]

...they can pick the grass out of the cow chips before they fall ensuring optimal flight pattern..

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... all buildings in Gainesville are required to tape their windows before games...

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... the Blue Angels registered a complaint with the FAA...

[Crucifax Autumn]

...Slayer is suing for copyright infringement

[soonerboy_odanorth]

...they produce more radiation than Chernobyl...with each stride...

[soonerboy_odanorth]

...they warned British Air about the cracks in the Concord just after takeoff....

[Crucifax Autumn]

heh...

"Concorde???? you mean that paddleboat back there" said the entire Florida team in unison

[Crucifax Autumn]

...They spit out watermelon seeds while the vines are still bare

[Crucifax Autumn]

...their eyeballs are prssing out the back of their necks

[Crucifax Autumn]

...They've already seen the finale of Lost

[Crucifax Autumn]

...speedy gonzalez lost his jock

[soonerboy_odanorth]

...eating lightning and crapping thunder is too restrictive a diet...

[soonerboy_odanorth]

.... 4.5 sec. is their average 40 time.... measured in fathoms or miles... your choice...

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... they hear the Roadrunner's second *beep* when they lap him...

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... Santa outsources to them to get all the presents there on time...

[tommieharris91]

...they get speeding tickets while running wind sprints.

How does the cop pull them over? They outrun the fastest cop cars...

[soonerboy_odanorth]

..."broad-band" is now "Tebow-band"...

[Crucifax Autumn]

...The pressure has given 'em 27 inches of girth and 1 inch of length

[Crucifax Autumn]

or to put it defferently...

...so fast they have pancake penis!

[soonerboy_odanorth]

How does the cop pull them over? They outrun the fastest cop cars...

...No cop necessary!...high speed digital intersection cameras...duh!!!.... Tickets are then mailed 2-day... Of course that means they have to wait 47.9999999999999999999999998345854637821 hours to receive it... though they usually have it paid in 2...seconds....

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... they thought this thread was silly right after the SEC championship game...

[Crucifax Autumn]

...they vomit next weeks' beer

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... sneeze particles say, "What the hell was that?", as they pass them...

[tommieharris91]

...No cop necessary!...high speed digital intersection cameras...duh!!!.... Tickets are then mailed 2-day... Of course that means they have to wait 47.9999999999999999999999998345854637821 hours to receive it... though they usually have it paid in 2...seconds....

The cameras can't prove that they were there. The pictures just show empty intersections...

[Crucifax Autumn]

...their eyebrows burn off

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... their team captains were asked to inspect the space shuttle during its most recent launch...

[soonerboy_odanorth]

The cameras can't prove that they were there. The pictures just show empty intersections...

....Contrails leading to their dorms?... Hello!!?!??

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... their body fluids don't "excrete"... they vaporize...

[Crucifax Autumn]

...meteors stop in the stratoshere and say "nevermind"

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... Dr. Who copied the Tardis design from their playbook....

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... Scotty laughed when Kirk asked if warp speed Harvin was possible....

[olevetonahill]

They have a song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIPv9AtZ2zE&feature=PlayList&p=88DB3EAB5765AD0E&index=0&playnext=1

[soonerboy_odanorth]

... that Michael Reine was ill The Day the Earth Stood Still just trying to keep up... and that was well before something went wrong with Fay Wray and King Kong....

[soonerboy_odanorth]

...they corrected Han Solo's calculations so that they didn't jump into a super nova or an asteroid field which would have ended their trip real quick...

[SoonerBoognish]

Special relativity may screw us here and give them a short field every time they touch the ball.

[Crucifax Autumn]

...ah screw it...I got nothin' else. They're queers man!!!!!!! lmao

[soonerboy_odanorth]

Special relativity may screw us here and give them a short field every time they touch the ball.

...and dangit!... They'll still look young and fresh and won't have aged a day while we'll be setting up the assisted living facility for Sam!... I hate that relativity thing they have going for them!..

[soonerboomer93]

they tried to work as couriers, but all the packages vaporized from being moved so fast

[leavingthezoo]

... they could have created the heavens and earth in 2 days.

[RedstickSooner]

They're so fast, as their energy decreases, their velocity *increases*.

[leavingthezoo]

... they hit the target before the other sperm even left the gate. :D

[Mark_in_Tulsa]

....are so fast they don't use an IM. They just run back and forth to each others houses in their jorts.

[BombaySooner]

There lineman would start as Vikings RB

[cheezyq]

...as a hurricane approaches the mainland, the NOAA commissions them to run the opposite direction of the hurricane's rotation to spin it the other direction and send the hurricane back out to sea.

[stoopified]

Florida is so fast they can touch MC's Hammer.I think this falls under the don't ask,don't tell rule.

[I Am Right]

I think we only have 3 scholarship players and they are either injured or academic ineligible.

[soonerduke]

that had they played in the Big 12 North this year, they would have been a dark horse to win that division.

[Tiger6]

that even when they look like they are going backwards...they are really going forwards. You know...like those weird *** rims you see sometimes. Boggles the mind.

And

they can even avoid a chuck norris roundhouse kick. And thats fast my friends.

[TheUnnamedSooner]

...that they were able to prove Einstein's theory of relativity by running

[PDXsooner]

You know during the Olympics, the sprints when they have that camera that follows the sprinters along the side? You thought they were attached to a remoate control cable? WRONG! They hire Florida players as cameramen to run alongside Usain Bolt all the way to the finish line!

[Landthief 1972]

...are so fast they made the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs. They're fast enough for you, old man.

[Crucifax Autumn]

I already did that one! lol But it's good!

[Crucifax Autumn]

...when they masturbate they hit Hitler in the back of the head

[Tiger6]

....that they are going to remake the movie "Back To The Future", using Percy Harvin as the delorean.

[Jmorales22]

.....they have to stop running when they get to the end zone or else they would pass out from the g forces exerted.

[Jmorales22]

.....like a scramjet, they can't breathe unless they are moving at a minimum of mach 1