BCS Determines Germany wins WWII

[DenverSooner751]

This is good for a few laughs. =)

> Subject: BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II> BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II> US Ranked 4th>> After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS> computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS> declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.>> "Germany put together an incredible number of> victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland> and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France,> Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only> losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their> entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of> Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1> ranking.">> Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the> BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major> victories-- Japan and Germany . The computer models, unlike humans,> aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest> to be only a single, equally-weighted event.">> German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said "Yes, we lost to> the US ; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6> weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking> dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance> Germany 's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest> with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in> Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of> additional forces.">> The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented "> France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1> ranking they only fell to #2.">> Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the> Philippines .

[DenverSooner751]

This is good for a few laughs. =)

> Subject: BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II> BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II> US Ranked 4th>> After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS> computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS> declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.>> "Germany put together an incredible number of> victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland> and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France,> Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only> losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their> entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of> Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1> ranking.">> Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the> BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major> victories-- Japan and Germany . The computer models, unlike humans,> aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest> to be only a single, equally-weighted event.">> German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said "Yes, we lost to> the US ; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6> weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking> dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance> Germany 's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest> with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in> Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of> additional forces.">> The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented "> France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1> ranking they only fell to #2.">> Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the> Philippines .

My apologies for the sh!ty formatting, I posted this from my phone.

[ouwasp]

Yes, this was good. A ut friend sent this to me; in turn I passed along the "Hitler Hates the BCS" youtube rant...

[Crimson_Balls]

gay

[Curly Bill]

Where are my few laughs at I was promised?

[SPuL]

LOL

[DenverSooner751]

This without a doubt is hilarious for UTerus fans, none the less, the extent of their delusions has become quite entertaining.

[Jmorales22]

If in their little analogy, OU is the axis and Texas is the allied powers, then who is Texas Tech?

Wait, I know... texas tech was switzerland...because they didn't participate...which is why it was only a two-way fight.

[SoonerNerd]

Wow, I never thought the Allied forces would be so whiney. Going to have to talk to my Grandpa about this...

[ruf/nekdad]

I posted this a couple of months ago, but it appears ti fit here..
An email I received....

The Big 12 teams as the Middle East;


TEXAS: Iran. Somewhat of a controlling power in the region

but it will all come crashing down because they have a highly

functioning retard as a leader.



KANSAS: Kuwait. Tons of riches and unrealized potential,

but still vulnerable to Iran.



NEBRASKA: Iraq. A wealth of history but the country as a

whole is going in the tank and they will kill themselves off before

it's all over.



OKLAHOMA: Saudi Arabia. A proud kingdom, once torn up by

fighting but known for historic past and prosperous future, surrounded

by Iran and Iraq, with fanatics in Al-Qaeda (see below) who'll stop

at nothing to bring them down.



MISSOURI: Syria. Evil schemers who will stoop to whatever

level they need to win. No real history to speak of but thinks they

are the cradle of civilization.


OKLAHOMA STATE: Al Qaeda. No real country, just a movement

of disgruntled fanatics who live to destroy the hope of those

more fortunate. No other goal in life than to bring down the

House of Saudi Arabia. Terrorizing that country in the late 90's and

early 2000 years is the crowning achievement in their history. Signing day

was a major setback to the movement. They are fanatically loyal to

their new leader.



KANSAS STATE: Palestinian territories. No one really cares

or worries about them unless they can be of some use (i.e. winning a

battle once in a while against Iran that causes a bit of shake up in

rankings)



IOWA STATE: Qatar. Where is Qatar? Is it in our area?



Texas A&M: Afghanistan. Not much going for it other

than the crazy commoners.



BAYLOR: Israel. None of the others understand why

they're in the area. Just leave them alone. What did they ever do to you?



COLORADO: Morocco. Not really part of the Middle East. Has

other things to do than fight (or play football). Rumor is you can

always go there for a good time.



TEXAS TECH: Libya. Has a charismatic leader in a land of

nothingness who will rattle his sword but knows he doesn't have a whole

heck of a lot to back it up. Pulls the occasional sneak-attack and cries

"Victory!"

[scotplum]

I had completely forgotten that the U.S. lost to Italy in WWII

[1890MilesToNorman]

The mighty Texas foo-fighters strike again.

[badger]

Ok, for clarification, the BCS did NOT declare Germany the winner of WW2. Rather, it ranked Germany No. 1 ahead of the United States (which was No. 2, respectively, after that early-season home loss to Japan which was later avenged in the Axis and Allies Conference Championship game in Japan... two deep balls to the endzones brought about a sense of surrender).

Thus, the BCS did not create a championship team, they simply created a championship GAME between the U.S. and Germany.

:) And on the field, the crystal Hitler mustache trophy was awarded to the U.S.

[1890MilesToNorman]

Ok, for clarification, the BCS did NOT declare Germany the winner of WW2. Rather, it ranked Germany No. 1 ahead of the United States (which was No. 2, respectively, after that early-season home loss to Japan which was later avenged in the Axis and Allies Conference Championship game in Japan... two deep balls to the endzones brought about a sense of surrender).

Thus, the BCS did not create a championship team, they simply created a championship GAME between the U.S. and Germany.

:) And on the field, the crystal Hitler mustache trophy was awarded to the U.S.


Yea but Germany got the AP vote so it's a split.

[Soonersince57]

And that's what they get for bombing the Alamo.

[bluedogok]

They forget, war is a succession of battles and in truth no one battle is the decider, especially half way through the war. The Allies lost battles to both the Axis powers in Europe and Japan but they persevered and went on to win the war. If one battle in the middle of the war decided the war, the Texas would be part of Mexico. One thing that many Texans don't seem to realize, they lost the Battle of The Alamo which they see as the turning point but it was merely one battle of many.

How many times in the past have we heard the same exact argument that UT got better after the OU-Texas game and that should count more than just that one game? For a period there (I think it was 5 straight years) we seemed to hear that towards the end of each season.

Texas just needs to face facts, they have been in 1 more BCS game than Kansas, OU has 6, that is a bunch of money that OU has put into the Big 12 and members coffers....so UT just ain't pulling its weight around here :D

[badger]

Yea but Germany got the AP vote so it's a split.
Nobody pays attention to the AP vote anymore. U-S-A! U-S-A!

[bri]

This thread is where funny goes to die.

[IronHorseSooner]

As a student of military history, that analogy was a waste of time. Somebody actually took time to write that?

[bigskysooner]

From the Associated Press
Austin, Tx:
Texas lawmaker proposes bill to eliminate "paper covers rock" from consideration in the popular rock, paper, scissors game. "Everyone knows that rock breaks scissors, and that paper, while having the ability to cover rock, is not as historically strong, and therefore should not be counted in the three way tie scenario." claims lawmaker Mack Akers Royal. The fact that scissors completely shedded paper during their encounter was cited by Royal as proof of paper's unworthiness to be considered, and the head to head match-up between rock and scissors, settled in an earlier contest should be the obvious winner. AP

[badger]

Texas is the scumbag on the playground that plays "dynamite" when you're playing rock-paper-scissors so that they win no matter what... as shown here:

baj: One...two...three!

(baj shows scissors, texas shows 'dynamite')

baj: Um... wtf is that?!

texas: that's dynamite, which explodes scissors. I WIN!

baj: Hold up... since when is dynamite part of rock-paper-scissors, and what exactly would happen if I played rock or paper?!

texas: dynamite burns paper and crumbles rock.

baj: Um... Coach Stoops?! A little help!

Bob Stoops: The rules were set at the beginning of the season that you could only play rock, paper or scissors. If you want to change the rules to include dynamite, change them before the season and I'll play by those rules.

baj: :P you lose. to Fiesta Bowl, you go!

texas: :mad: