Okie Hillbilly
12/8/2008, 12:45 PM
Texas athletic director DeLoss Dodds confirms today that the entire football coaching staff at the University of Texas is illiterate. “We have tried unsuccessfully to not allow this information to become public. The sad fact is Mack cannot read.” This revelation came to light as a result of the controversary surrounding Texas not being in the Big 12 Championship game. Coach Brown repeatedly insisted that the Longhorn’s being left out was unfair and unjust, despite information that the tie breaker rules had been in place for years and all of the coaches had agreed on the procedures.
“We had high hopes that hiring Coach Muschamp would help the situation. But, apparently he suffers from the same condition as the rest of the staff”, said Dodge in a prepared statement. When contacted via telephone Big 12 Commissioner Dan Beebe said, “It is an unfortunate situation, if we had only known we could have had someone read the rules to Mack or had picture flash cards or something.” Coach Brown was unavailable for comment as he was traveling to make appearances on Oprah and The Tonight Show to discuss the injustices of Texas not being in the National Championship game.
“We had high hopes that hiring Coach Muschamp would help the situation. But, apparently he suffers from the same condition as the rest of the staff”, said Dodge in a prepared statement. When contacted via telephone Big 12 Commissioner Dan Beebe said, “It is an unfortunate situation, if we had only known we could have had someone read the rules to Mack or had picture flash cards or something.” Coach Brown was unavailable for comment as he was traveling to make appearances on Oprah and The Tonight Show to discuss the injustices of Texas not being in the National Championship game.