Somalia Pirates

[OUHOMER]

I was thinking. If I was rich and had nothing to do. I think it would be fun to get a very large yacht. Outfit it like only Jame Bond could do.

I would troll the coast and wait for one of those little **** pirates to come out. Let it get up close and let them have it with the popup 50 cal that will be mounded around the ship. A tank turret mounted both forward and aft.


Hell, I think this would be a great reality show. get about four or five yachts out there and keep score. :D

Anyway something i was just thinking about today.

[olevetonahill]

Bro yer on to sumpin .
We dont need to be rich . we can Just take over one before the Pirates do .

[Turd_Ferguson]

Just mount a Sea Whiz on it:D

4Wimcm0ZImE

[olevetonahill]

Just mount a Sea Whiz on it:D

4Wimcm0ZImE

That thing sounded Like Me after BEANS

[IBleedCrimson]

what cajones on these crazy guys. Hijacking Saudi oil tankers?!

Man would it be fun to pull the bait n switch tho :D

[SoonerStormchaser]

I was thinking.

Therein lies the problem.

[olevetonahill]

Therein lies the problem.

I was gonna call the Posse, Get Lotts Bandana to Be skipper , let you Fly Air Recon for us . But Naw you had to be a dick .:P

[OUHOMER]

Therein lies the problem.

Yea, It's something I do on occasion.

You should try it sometime:D

[olevetonahill]

Yea, It's something I do on occasion.

You should try it sometime:D

Lets Get back to Plannin this thing .
I know where we can get a Boat .:D

[Turd_Ferguson]

Lets Get back to Plannin this thing .
I know where we can get a Boat .:Dhttp://www.3rednecktenors.com/images/redneck_houseboat.jpg

Were gonna need a bigger motor:D

[olevetonahill]

http://www.3rednecktenors.com/images/redneck_houseboat.jpg

Were gonna need a bigger motor:D

Naw ya dumas
Im talkin Saddams boat that they been trying to Sell . We Just sneak abord . Get Lott to Fire it up and be gone .

[LoyalFan]

I'll happily sign on as Gunnery Officer.
In addition to heavy surface to surface armament we'll want a pad aft to accommodate an Apache gunship helo. Wot Phun!

LF
Who knows a little 'bout killin' stuff.

[Curly Bill]

This is gonna be better then any road trip ever was. :D

[olevetonahill]

I wuz Talkin to Turd . Do Yall think we should sign On Sicem ?
Ya Know as Our Gilligan .:D

[olevetonahill]

I'll happily sign on as Gunnery Officer.
In addition to heavy surface to surface armament we'll want a pad aft to accommodate an Apache gunship helo. Wot Phun!

LF
Who knows a little 'bout killin' stuff.

I just wanta Kill , I dont care whos In charge :cool:

[Curly Bill]

I wuz Talkin to Turd . Do Yall think we should sign On Sicem ?
Ya Know as Our Gilligan .:D

Brilliant! :D

[Curly Bill]

I wuz Talkin to Turd . Do Yall think we should sign On Sicem ?
Ya Know as Our Gilligan .:D

We also need us a Mary Anne...

...hubba-hubba. :D

[olevetonahill]

Theme Bastages better Look out
Cause we a coming fer em

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8E8trKZGbE

[olevetonahill]

We also need us a Mary Anne...

...hubba-hubba. :D

I wuz thinkin PG and BSG . , Brat and M also

[Curly Bill]

I wuz thinkin PG and BSG . , Brat and M also

Sounds like this plan is coming together. :hot:

[olevetonahill]

We just need LottsBandana to sign on as Skipper
Hell If he can keep a Boat under water fer 20 Years He should Be able to Keep one On top .

[Boarder]

These pirates are going to keep messing around until they do something to p.o. a US interest. Then it will be katy-bar-the-door.

[olevetonahill]

These pirates are going to keep messing around until they do something to p.o. a US interest. Then it will be katy-bar-the-door.

They done POed Us . Pay tention .

[Boarder]

eh, y'all are just mildy irritated.

[olevetonahill]

eh, y'all are just mildy irritated.

Just wait and see
after we get sadams Boat and get it outfitted we gonna Kick some ***.
:D

[GottaHavePride]

I was going to make a copycat thread, but I couldn't decide on a title.

*** pirates seemed too obvious
Semolina Pirates was too dumb
Ice Pirates was ok, but obscure
Time Bandits would have been awesome, but doesn't involve pirates...

and so on.

[swardboy]

This thread is hilarious, but really, if OUHOMER can conceive such a thing, YOU'D THINK OUR MILITARY COULD ENVISION IT TOO. I wish they'd rig a ship up to do the same thing and blast the little weasels to Allah...that would keep them down on the farm in Somalia, or Yemen, or whatever god-forsaken hell hole they come from.

[TUSooner]

I think y'all are on to something. It's time to revive Letters of Marque & Reprisal

[Okla-homey]

I like firehoses linked to the ship's boilers. High pressure boiling water shot on said skimpily clad piratical bastages scalds, blisters and makes for days of pain to remind them of why they need to stick to chewing kot and drinking tea boiled over dried animal dung. Blast them off their boats with the high-pressure boiling water.

Then, "rescue" them and take them prisoner, bring them aboard and sink their vessels. Have a summary trial aboard ship, hang them, then put the bodies in red nylon bags with notes to the effect, "this is what happens to pirates" in Somali arabic.

Then send a ships boat to the beach loaded with the bodies. The shore party dumps them on the beach above the high-tide line, and hi-tails it back to the ship.

Lather, rince, repeat.

[olevetonahill]

Ok Homey You can be in Charge Of Torture :D

[Mjcpr]

I've heard of the Porter Pirates but I don't even know where the Somalia Pirates are.

[Fraggle145]

I'll be in charge of the rum.

[GottaHavePride]

I'll be in charge of the rum.

We better not be running out on your watch. :pop:

[olevetonahill]

We better not be running out on your watch. :pop:

Hell we can Rig up a still In the Boiler room and Have all the OVJ we want :D

[soonerhubs]

I've heard of the Porter Pirates but I don't even know where the Somalia Pirates are.

My brother was a Gore Pirate.

[OUHOMER]

Well, I was thinking again :D I saw where Sicem may be invited along, and i was thinking maybe we bring his gay boyfriend as well. he could work for Homey doing the interrogation. he will be the butt pirate :D

Now about some of the weapons. I think it would be cool if we had some kind of spear we could launch with a chain hooked with a ball. So when it hit their boat it drive thru it and sink. As the poor bastards are swimming around we pour some shark chum in the water. we could sit back and bet which one gets eaten a live first. If no sharks around we could just have target practice. Have Jerk show us how he picks off prairie dogs.

I like Homey's idea with the exception of taking the bodies back to shore. If we warn them, we may not get much action after a while. I think its best we just do them in and feed them to the fish.:eek:

[olevetonahill]

Ya we dont want em to Get Careful .

[soonerboomer93]

Yea, It's something I do on occasion.

You should try it sometime:D

the wife grounded him last time he tried

[pott_2]

My brother was a Gore Pirate.
... used to play against the Poteau pirates...
Even they were smarter than Somali pirates...

[shaun4411]

i like homey's idea of water hoses from the boiler room. dump the bodies. i have a more subtle idea. put a few scout snipers littered throughout a ship, and when some pirates come firing off the bow, just put one in each of their heads. repeat until they stop sending boats.