Jello Biafra
12/3/2008, 02:33 PM
on to the next topic....ooo one thing before i do....sicem...
shaddup. really? you haven't noticed? at all? your gaydar is knocked out of whack...you, of all people, should be able to see one in a turkish bath full of scantily clad super models.... ok, if you say you didnt know...whatever helps you sleep at night.
its not all bad though. the wimmen will hang with him because they can hold hands at the club and dance with them like a fool and know hes not going to try and stick his manjunk in any available orifice on thier person. then when they can't change him, they will think "it's them" and they will try to rub the skin off of any dudes banana to prove to the world that they have the appeal.... its a win-win.
so you stared at his *** once or twice and you thought about the creamy filling in his twinkie...doesn't make YOU ghey. does it? i mean, thats what you ARE thinking right? I've seen you with a cigar, if you're not gay, you are well on your way ;)
btw, how many licks DOES it take to get the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?
now on to this little pearl:
Bike for sale
What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick *** spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "**** YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".
The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy **** so I said no way.
The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad *** you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad *** in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.
The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some **** and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your *** or anything.
I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:
Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear
I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.
Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't **** around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey *******, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".
Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no pansy prices)
shaddup. really? you haven't noticed? at all? your gaydar is knocked out of whack...you, of all people, should be able to see one in a turkish bath full of scantily clad super models.... ok, if you say you didnt know...whatever helps you sleep at night.
its not all bad though. the wimmen will hang with him because they can hold hands at the club and dance with them like a fool and know hes not going to try and stick his manjunk in any available orifice on thier person. then when they can't change him, they will think "it's them" and they will try to rub the skin off of any dudes banana to prove to the world that they have the appeal.... its a win-win.
so you stared at his *** once or twice and you thought about the creamy filling in his twinkie...doesn't make YOU ghey. does it? i mean, thats what you ARE thinking right? I've seen you with a cigar, if you're not gay, you are well on your way ;)
btw, how many licks DOES it take to get the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?
now on to this little pearl:
Bike for sale
What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick *** spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "**** YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".
The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy **** so I said no way.
The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad *** you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad *** in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.
The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some **** and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your *** or anything.
I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:
Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear
I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.
Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't **** around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey *******, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".
Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no pansy prices)