Wussification of our youth

[8timechamps]

As a father of two boys (ages 9 and 13), I have the enjoyment and honor of coaching their respective sports teams. As I have gone through the process of coaching the boys, I can’t help but to be reminded of “the good old days” when I was a kid playing sports. I also can’t help but notice a trend in behavior that I call the “wussification of youth sports”.

A friend of mine invited me to watch his son’s flag football game. So, I took my youngest son down and we watched the game. It was brutal. My friend’s son’s team got stomped. At halftime, the other team had scored at least 10 touchdowns and had allowed none (I don’t even think they gave up a first down). I asked my friend what the score was, to which he replied “We don’t keep score, it makes it too competitive”.

My jaw must have been down to my knees. It wasn’t like these kids were five or six years old. They were ten and eleven. If it were a “Special Olympics” type function, I could understand. These were not challenged kids. In fact, there were a few really good athletes.

Anyway, I got to talking to my friend, and he said that all the sports in his area were like that. Games never had a score, and everyone got a trophy at the end of the season. Again, if these kids were playing T ball or were young kids, I would understand, but these kids were old enough to understand winning and losing.

I’ve also noticed this in many other areas, for instance, here in Colorado (and maybe in other states too, I just don’t remember doing it in OKC) all the elementary schools have a “field day” when the kids compete in all kinds of physical activities. Each year, they give out ribbons for everyone that participates in every event. I didn’t even know that had a ribbon for 15th place!

What happened to learning how to win and lose? What happened to “competition makes you a better person”? Maybe my memories of my youth are too cloudy to remember that things were the same, but I don’t remember all of this “everyone wins when they participate” mentality.

[Viking Kitten]

The kids who are competetive by nature keep score for themselves, whether the adults do or not. And as for my son, who is a borderline mental case when it comes to competition, he doesn't even want the trophies he didn't really earn.

[8timechamps]

The kids who are competetive by nature keep score for themselves, whether the adults do or not. And as for my son, who is a borderline mental case when it comes to competition, he doesn't even want the trophies he didn't really earn.

Yep. We lost in a semifinal playoff game last week. My son cried for a good ten minutes. It kinda made my proud inside.

[Viking Kitten]

Yeah, we lost our playoff game Tuesday night. Sucked. Our boys are all third graders in their first year playing tackle. Our opponent was fourth graders in their second year. They pretty well steamrolled us. I thought my son was going to require therapy.

[Boarder]

The kids who are competetive by nature keep score for themselves, whether the adults do or not. And as for my son, who is a borderline mental case when it comes to competition, he doesn't even want the trophies he didn't really earn.
Tanner: Hey Yankees, you can take your apology and your trophy and shove it straight up your (buttie)!


http://www.soakingwetchild.net/thebadnewsbears/tanner12.jpg

[Viking Kitten]

Dang, I loved that movie so much when I was kid. Then I showed it to my son and just cringed from all the language and underage smoking and stuff. I guess kids these days are wussified. :P

[8timechamps]

Yeah, we lost our playoff game Tuesday night. Sucked. Our boys are all third graders in their first year playing tackle. Our opponent was fourth graders in their second year. They pretty well steamrolled us. I thought my son was going to require therapy.

We're third graders also...bring 'em to Colorado next year for a Rocky Mt. scrimmage.

[MojoRisen]

We have developmental leauges out here in Virginia - they have rules in place where everyone plays etc... but they definitely keep score.... It is still pretty competitive - but no Josh playing in the 80s compared to now- our teams would have absolutely crushed these kids...

I played in Edmond and we went 16 and 0 one year 5th 6th grade at that point. But in 4th 5th Grade - We used to play in Dale City and it smelled like a sewer- it was an absolute battle those days- the teams were dirty as hell. Dale City Black - They had White, Black and Gold teams back then- took me out of the game by grabbing my jewels under neath a pile - pinching, bitting and hitting. We had actual neck rolls and concusions were pretty common before we knew how serious they were...

Kids today would not be able to handle that in the 4th and 5th grade with out lawsuites and police involvement.

We just tried too fight their coaches after the game..

[8timechamps]

Growing up playing football was a lot different back in the day (maybe it was just Oklahoma).

[mdklatt]

I asked my friend what the score was, to which he replied “We don’t keep score, it makes it too competitive”.
...
What happened to learning how to win and lose? What happened to “competition makes you a better person”?

I used to referee youth soccer games. We didn't keep score for the U6s or the U8s. I don't know if this was part of the reason why, but by not keeping score there was a lot less bull**** from the overindulged parents than there was in the older brackets, as in "Sir, I'm not even keeping score so sit the **** down and shut the **** up." (The bit in italics was implied.) Everybody still knew who won and who lost, but by not making it official there were a lot less hurt feelings. Again, I'm talking about the parents, not the kids. :rolleyes:

[8timechamps]

I used to referee youth soccer games. We didn't keep score for the U6s or the U8s. I don't know if this was part of the reason why, but by not keeping score there was a lot less bull**** from the overindulged parents than there was in the older brackets, as in "Sir, I'm not even keeping score so sit the **** down and shut the **** up." (The bit in italics was implied.) Everybody still knew who won and who lost, but by not making it official there were a lot less hurt feelings. Again, I'm talking about the parents, not the kids. :rolleyes:

There's no doubt that some parents are the worst thing about youth sports. That's on the coach though. At the start of the season (football, baseball, etc) I have a meeting with all the parents and have them sign a "sportsmanship" contract. Basically telling them that there is zero tolerance for outbursts at coaches, kids, opposing fans and officials. I let them know that I'm not getting ejected because they can't keep their mouth shut.

It never ceases to amaze me that there are some coaches and parents that think it's big-time athletics. If the kids aren't having fun and learning, there's no point in doing it. Of course, to me, learning to lose with class is part of it too.

[mdklatt]

There's no doubt that some parents are the worst thing about youth sports. That's on the coach though. At the start of the season (football, baseball, etc) I have a meeting with all the parents and have them sign a "sportsmanship" contract. Basically telling them that there is zero tolerance for outbursts at coaches, kids, opposing fans and officials. I let them know that I'm not getting ejected because they can't keep their mouth shut.


This is a good idea, but how do you enforce it?

[JohnnyMack]

Back in my day, we just rolled around on rocks and broken glass and called it a sport.

And we liked it!

[mdklatt]

Back in my day, we just rolled around on rocks and broken glass and called it a sport.



How did you know who won?

[Ike]

I blame it all on this notion that all youth sports need to be organized.


It's been way too long since I was able to drive down a street and see kids playing baseball or football on an empty lot. As a kid, that was where I played most of my baseball and football. And we always kept score. Keeping score is what makes those come-from-behind wins possible. And there is nothing more exhilarating in all of sports than being a part of a come-from-behind win.

[Pricetag]

It's been way too long since I was able to drive down a street and see kids playing baseball or football on an empty lot.
I blame the sub-prime mortgage scam. There are no empty lots left.

[Sooner24]

How did you know who won?

Who ever got the most stitches won.

[8timechamps]

This is a good idea, but how do you enforce it?

There's no real way to enforce it, but most of the parents realize if I get ejected, and I ultimately make the playing time decisions, it's probably not a good idea.

[8timechamps]

I blame it all on this notion that all youth sports need to be organized.




Organized youth sports have been around for decades. The fact that kids spend less time playing sports in the front yard is more a product of the time we live in. With so many other options available to them, sports falls down on the list. Sad, but true.

[Ike]

I blame the sub-prime mortgage scam. There are no empty lots left.

Thats partially true...but there are still cul-de-sacs. We used to use a patch of grass that was part of the church property on our street. The pastor there (who lived across the street from me) didn't mind as long as we didn't play there while people were in church. Which meant that Sundays and Wednesdays were off. So on those days we played ball in the cul-de-sac at the end of the street.


One of the interesting offshoots from that. 3 of the kids on my street (me included) were all starters on the HS baseball team. 2 more were starters for another HS after they moved away.

[MojoRisen]

Nah, I moved to Nebraska and Chicago after that... All were equally tough...

The towns are a lot bigger now and all the leagues are a little watered down talent wise- we used to have the traveling squads - you would actually have to try out back then...

Developmental is good for some kids who develop a little slower I have no problem with that- I think the coaching is good as well- but the competition between towns used to be a lot more competitive. Now it is a whole league in one town & the Parents are way over protective of their kids...

I definitely don't think the kids are nearly as tough at a young age as say 15- 20 years ago even.

I am pretty sure the 60-70s were even worse- with bloddy noises being pretty darn common in the neighborhood games on Asphalt...

[Ike]

Organized youth sports have been around for decades. The fact that kids spend less time playing sports in the front yard is more a product of the time we live in. With so many other options available to them, sports falls down on the list. Sad, but true.

I know that they have been around for decades....My issue is that they have totally replaced the pickup game, and I think thats a bad thing. It is a product of the times....Not just with kids these days but with parents too. Many parents aren't willing to let the kids play where they can't be seen from the front lawn.

[JohnnyMack]

I blame it all on this notion that all youth sports need to be organized.


It's been way too long since I was able to drive down a street and see kids playing baseball or football on an empty lot. As a kid, that was where I played most of my baseball and football. And we always kept score. Keeping score is what makes those come-from-behind wins possible. And there is nothing more exhilarating in all of sports than being a part of a come-from-behind win.

I agree. A lot. We played whiffle ball or football or hot box or kick the can or whatever we felt like down at the end of the block in a preacher's yard who didn't mind us playing on it.

My brother, bless his heart, has 3 kids and they play or participate in every single sport imaginable. Who knew there was an Owasso jai alai youth team? But seriously, they are constantly running from one thing to the next. I talked to him recently and he said between the 3 kids they had 11 events to attend over a weekend. That to me is absurd.

What's wrong with playing A sport? What's wrong with playing with kids in the neighborhood instead of being on the Union Alpha White Niner B Squad Pee Wee Football team? I'm all for allowing a kid to play a sport and learn about winning, losing, teamwork, etc. but I seriously think the attitude some people take towards sports and their kid is just another example of societal excess. We don't need it, we do it because we can or we have been conditioned to think we have to.

[SoonerJack]

My brother, bless his heart, has 3 kids and they play or participate in every single sport imaginable. Who knew there was an Owasso jai alai youth team?
:eek:
But seriously, they are constantly running from one thing to the next. I talked to him recently and he said between the 3 kids they had 11 events to attend over a weekend. :eek:



That is ridiculous and IMO no way to live.

[pergdaddy]

My 7 year old just completed his last year in T-Ball this year as well as his first year in flag football. In T-Ball, everyone gets a participation trophy. After T-Ball, trophies go to all stars and champions. Flag football, I think everyone gets a trophy because the league commish had alot of extra money so he wanted to do it. But he also had T-Shirts and special trophies made up for each of the division winners.

At young ages, it's about teaching the game. When they start to get older, say 9, 10, 11, they need to know that there are winners and losers. Losing drives the competition in kids to be better, which I believe flows over to other aspects of life. My son is not an aggressive kid, but he likes participating. He's an 81 pound 1st grader. Little belly, strong as an ox. If the light comes on, he could be really good. In football, he did really good at times (I played him at DL/OL) and looked really bad at times. I contribute this to it being his first time. All I ever asked is that he tries his best and plays hard. We went 0-5. I had 8 kids. 7 were in their first year of football. They knew they lost. They didn't like it, but it wasn't the end of the world. They know there are better times ahead. Where my problem lies is that being competitive is a good thing, but can be taken too far. My son has a friend who was playing OL (kid can be a real little *ss sometimes) and my son tried to bull rush him, so the kid slaps my son in the head right in the ear. Of course it rings making my son stop where he was at. So, I say nothing but hear his dad say to him, good job, you stopped him, good work.

Competitiveness is taught and it is necessary in life. But the parents need to stay on top of it to make sure that it's channelled in the right ways. Just my opinion.

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

I have heard that Brent Venable's gives the defense..."participation game balls"

[mdklatt]

We played...hot box...at the end of the block in a preacher's yard who didn't mind us playing on it.


:eek:

[Tulsa_Fireman]

My son has a friend who was playing OL (kid can be a real little *ss sometimes) and my son tried to bull rush him, so the kid slaps my son in the head right in the ear. Of course it rings making my son stop where he was at. So, I say nothing but hear his dad say to him, good job, you stopped him, good work.

With a helmet on, that's a good trick to pull once or twice if a guy is beating you across the line of scrimmage.

*kaBOOONNNNNNGG!*

It's really funny when they start puking afterwards.

[85Sooner]

Why try to score. Just run around like beheaded chickens. and I bet they PAY for the privledge to do so. See: Liberalness- actually a mental illness thread

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

Leave it to you to bring politics into the wussification of our youth thread.

[Frozen Sooner]

With a helmet on, that's a good trick to pull once or twice if a guy is beating you across the line of scrimmage.

*kaBOOONNNNNNGG!*

It's really funny when they start puking afterwards.

Several years ago (like early 90s) the 49ers were crushing the Giants in a playoff game. One of the 49ers OL was a bit frustrated that he felt a Giant DL kept creeping offsides, so he did basically that-except with his whole forearm. Just knocked the guy clean *** over teakettle.

Sure, he got a 15-yard penalty, but it was fun watching the DL just get crushed like that.

[8timechamps]

My 7 year old just completed his last year in T-Ball this year as well as his first year in flag football. In T-Ball, everyone gets a participation trophy. After T-Ball, trophies go to all stars and champions. Flag football, I think everyone gets a trophy because the league commish had alot of extra money so he wanted to do it. But he also had T-Shirts and special trophies made up for each of the division winners.

At young ages, it's about teaching the game. When they start to get older, say 9, 10, 11, they need to know that there are winners and losers. Losing drives the competition in kids to be better, which I believe flows over to other aspects of life. My son is not an aggressive kid, but he likes participating. He's an 81 pound 1st grader. Little belly, strong as an ox. If the light comes on, he could be really good. In football, he did really good at times (I played him at DL/OL) and looked really bad at times. I contribute this to it being his first time. All I ever asked is that he tries his best and plays hard. We went 0-5. I had 8 kids. 7 were in their first year of football. They knew they lost. They didn't like it, but it wasn't the end of the world. They know there are better times ahead. Where my problem lies is that being competitive is a good thing, but can be taken too far. My son has a friend who was playing OL (kid can be a real little *ss sometimes) and my son tried to bull rush him, so the kid slaps my son in the head right in the ear. Of course it rings making my son stop where he was at. So, I say nothing but hear his dad say to him, good job, you stopped him, good work.

Competitiveness is taught and it is necessary in life. But the parents need to stay on top of it to make sure that it's channelled in the right ways. Just my opinion.


What I've learned over the years of coaching, is that 99% of what's wrong with youth sports can be traced to a select few parents.

I told the guys I coach football with this year that I would love to coach one game with no parents. Just to see what it would be like.

[8timechamps]

I know that they have been around for decades....My issue is that they have totally replaced the pickup game, and I think thats a bad thing. It is a product of the times....Not just with kids these days but with parents too. Many parents aren't willing to let the kids play where they can't be seen from the front lawn.

I guess it depends where you live. Certainly not as many pick-up games as there used to be, but my oldest son plays in a pick up football game every Sunday afternoon. There are about 20 kids that show up on a regular basis. They've been doing this every fall/winter for about 3 years.

I'm tellin' you, it's because of the technology nowdays. Video games are more attractive than sports to a lot of kids.

Geez, I sound like I'm 75 years ld.

[soonerboomer93]

you're just mad that the video games cut into your matlock time

[silverwheels]

Society in general is wussified these days.

[8timechamps]

you're just mad that the video games cut into your matlock time

Whatever!:rolleyes:
















It's Golden Girls...NOT Matlock!:D

[Tulsa_Fireman]

You guys shut up.

http://epguides.com/MurderSheWrote/cast.jpg

I'm missing Murder She Wrote.

[royalfan5]

When I was younger, the closet thing to organized youth football I had was taking some of the other Diller kids over to the other teams sidelines during the High School games, and challenging the kids our age to a tackle game to be played in the nearest adjacent open space. We often got our *** kicked, but we had fun and learned to play tackle football against other people without adult supervision. We also always kept score. I think that was far more useful than parent organized bull****.

[olevetonahill]

My Grandsons , 7 and 9 Play Baseball , Soccer, and Football. they Tackle, Keep score and win and Lose .
I dont think they are wussies . The also Play Tackle football at skool . when the teachers arnt watching .:D

[8timechamps]

I think that was far more useful than parent organized bull****.

Huh?

[royalfan5]

Huh?

No coaches, No drama, yo.

[Pricetag]

In suburbs with one high school and other large high school districts, the tentacles of the high school's program are creeping further and further down as they seek to get these kids ready to play earlier and earlier.

I played soccer and basketball as a kid, and none of it started until eighth grade when the schools started fielding teams. I have a five-year-old playing his first team sports this year, and you can already tell. The leagues join these huge organizations with other leagues, and it just gets the ball rolling. His basketball team has travel games to other nearby cities, and they're saying that next year, all teams will have to wear the colors of the high school. They've already done it all the way down to middle school, and the middle schools no longer field their own teams anymore--they throw them all together and organize the teams by skill.