"Tales of White Trash Relatives" or "What Would the South Oval (Especially Dean) Do?"

[Viking Kitten]

So I've alluded a bit to the fact that I have this niece who is a complete f**k up. She's actually my step-brother's step daughter, but she's been in the family since she was eight-years old, and I've always tried to give her the benefit of the doubt seeing as how her mother is a also a f**k up and she just didn't have much in the way of role models from an early age.

Anyhoo... niece is now 20, is an unwed mother and on teh meths. Yay. I first figured out she was on drugs shortly after her high school graduation. We gave her a $100 dollar Kohl's giftcard for her grad present, a couple weeks later she offered to sell it back to Czar for $30 because she "needed some cash." We refused, and told her parents we thought she might be on drugs, but they pooh-poohed us. Oh well. Not our problem, we decided.

So less than a year later, she turns up pregnant. The guy she thinks most likely to be the father (sigh) is a drug dealer who has now gone to impregnate at least five other girls in the small town where they live. Classy. So we decide we're not going to penalize the baby, and offer her our children's (rather nice) baby crib, which she refuses because it's not good enough for her. "What the hell ever," we say. When her own mother throws her a baby shower, we pony up for a nice gift from her registry.

Long story short, she's been on and off the crank since the baby was born. I've pretty much given up on her, but we still show up for family functions and stuff. For the baby's first birthday this past July, she informed us that we were to get him toys. Whatever. I went to Barnes and Noble and loaded him up on about $50 worth of storybooks, seeing as how he doesn't have much in the way of educational stuff.

It soon got back to me was telling other family members how she thought we had given her our children's old books instead of buying a gift, and our children would no longer get nice presents from her parents because of this. At this point, I'm seething with rage. I don't give a crap whether her parents get my kids gifts or not, I just don't care for someone acting like an ungrateful little bitch. But my mother has asked me to just to play it cool for the sake of family harmony. So I have.

Since all this has happened, she found some poor sap she was able to rope in to be emotionally abused by her and her mother while he raises some other loser's kid. Joy. They aren't getting married, but they are moving in together.

Anyway, fast forward to yesterday. We get this message from her:

"We're having a housewarming party tomorrow afternoon. A $50 Target gift card will be fine for a gift."

So do I:

a) Ignore it and make my mom happy?
b) Patiently explain to the young lady that extortion is illegal?
c) Call her up and tell her I think she's a trashy little c**t and if I ever get her a gift ever again, I'll make sure it's large enough to really hurt when I shove it up her ***?
d) Anonymously call the cops in her new town and tell them to watch her new place for drug dealers/use/etc.?
e) options c & d?

I'll cheerfully consider any other suggestions you might have...

[JohnnyMack]

Tell her to eat the corn outta yer ****.

Or c.

[bri]

Buy her a little fire extinguisher, then explain that it's to help put out the inevitable meth fire.

Then when she's not looking, brain the little c*nt with it.

[Lott's Bandana]

You're going to said party?

I think a $5.00 WalMart card is more apropos.

Sweet of you VK, to keep the kids the priority...that should continue to be the play, don't you think?

[tulsaoilerfan]

Tell her to **** off. :)

[Viking Kitten]

You're going to said party?

I think a $5.00 WalMart card is more apropos.

Sweet of you VK, to keep the kids the priority...that should continue to be the play, don't you think?

Oh hells no we didn't go the party. I'm done letting her strongarm me for gifts. Thus far I've ignored the message completely. I just don't know if saying something might give her some kind of an important life lesson.

[Vaevictis]

She's a drug addict.

Rock bottom is the only life lesson that will take.

[Sooner_Havok]

I may be a sick son of a bitch, but I always enjoy watching the WT part of my family crash and burn.

Buy the $50 Target gift card though, it is the nice thing to do. Now I didn't say give it to her with $50 on it. Maybe leave about $2.50 on there. :D

[Sooner_Havok]

Or do what I did when I would get **** in the mail from that side of the family. Write Return to sender on it. Man, that one always pisses em off.

[Viking Kitten]

Or do what I did when I would get **** in the mail from that side of the family. Write Return to sender on it. Man, that one always pisses em off.

Heh.

It sucks though, I think once there was hope for the girl. Her mother just did everything she could to screw her up. It's pretty sad.

[bri]

She's a drug addict.

Rock bottom is the only life lesson that will take.

Rock bottom can be pretty damn entertaining.

YdnLBddzOtk

[Rogue]

Put her on ignore.
Trying to reason with (or teach) an addict is like...well like doing something silly that wastes your time.

[royalfan5]

Honestly, with my family's white trash exploits, (brawls and arson at Christmas, abandoned Church burnings cause you where drunk and bored, etc) I've really come to believe that just being estranged from some of your family ain't a bad option. As long as they aren't going to burn your house down and leave a note tacked to the door saying they did it, that is for not doing the housewarming thing.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Get her a Dollar General gift card, then choose "C."

[mdklatt]

I'm more appreciative of my normal family every day.

[Partial Qualifier]

I was thinking "D" the moment you said she's on & off teh cranks since she had a baby. That's not cool.

So, "D" and

"E: a $50 gift gift card redeemable at geta****inggriponyourpatheticlifeimmediately.com"

:D

[Partial Qualifier]

^^ 4K, woot. ;)

[Sooner_Havok]

I'm more appreciative of my normal family every day.

Eh, you missed out on a lot:D

Some of the things I have done to my family...

My parents don't like one side of the family, but even they think I go/have gone way to far.

[Sooner_Havok]

^^ 4K, woot. ;)

Oh, and obligatory n00b :D

[Rhino]

Man, **** that noise.

Get her a big punch in the facehole.

[Frozen Sooner]

Get her a $50 gift card to Target.

Use it.

Write on the back "This is what a used present looks like, bitch."

Give it to her.

[olevetonahill]

C and Or D
Yer choice .

[Jerk]

Silly me, I put my own sanity above family harmony.

#1 rule- always drive my own car to any family event....always. NEVER ride with another relative beside my wife.

[Harry Beanbag]

Just keep ignoring her.

[leavingthezoo]

a) Ignore it and make my mom happy?
b) Patiently explain to the young lady that extortion is illegal?
c) Call her up and tell her I think she's a trashy little c**t and if I ever get her a gift ever again, I'll make sure it's large enough to really hurt when I shove it up her ***?
d) Anonymously call the cops in her new town and tell them to watch her new place for drug dealers/use/etc.?
e) options c & d?

I'll cheerfully consider any other suggestions you might have...

get her diapers. some for the baby, and some for her.

or don't get her anything. maybe a greeting card. from Target if necessary. :D

[Okla-homey]

name a star after her.;)

starregistry.com

I suggest picking out a dim one in the constellation right under Orion's belt and naming it "Methcrackslut."

[Viking Kitten]

Get her a $50 gift card to Target.

Use it.

Write on the back "This is what a used present looks like, bitch."

Give it to her.

Tempting. Very tempting...

[SoonersEnFuego]

name a star after her.;)

starregistry.com

I suggest picking out a dim one in the constellation right under Orion's belt and naming it "Methcrackslut."
That is the funniest sh*t I've ever heard. That would be so awesome!:D :D :D

Seriously though, I would ignore this bitch. You don't f**king tell me what to buy you! Even if I was going to buy you something in the first place, now I'm not going to. Nobody tells me what to f**king do, c**t! Good luck cracky.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Man, **** that noise.

Word.

You're dealing with a meth addict. She's not the girl you know - she's someone else right now. Reasoning and logic and all that are gone for now. Telling her what you think of her, how much she's hurting everyone and all that is a waste of time. She won't feel it. She can't care.

Sad thing is that those around her that love and care for her are the ones in the most pain. They're the ones trying to keep things together. She's the one ****ing up and making the entire family suffer and everyone else is trying to fix it. She's not accountable.

I guess you have to decide whether or not you want her and her sickness in your life. Do you want your kids around it? Or do you keep her out until she gets well and you guys can have a healthy relationship? How do you turn your back on her sickness without turning your back on her?

Tough situation. If she wasn't a family member you'd shut her out with a quickness. It's amazing what we do for those we love.

:kelvin:

[Turd_Ferguson]

I'd say it's time for an innerdikshun.

[frankensooner]

Where's the love? Buy her some clean needles.

[JohnnyMack]

Send Rhino over there with a bat.

[Oldnslo]

heh. Get me her address, so I can send my still-a-minister Mother-in-law over there to address her various shortcomings.

Pretty please!

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I would buy her this shirt

http://extremecostumes.com/Ihb_basic_meth.jpg

[85Sooner]

Try this............it might work.


http://www.queerty.com/tag/kristen-chenoweth/

On a more serious note. I would kindly disregard the request. Attend if you feel like it and can be "civil"

Call the local Child Protective services and let them know what you know. Might be a good idea to meet a couple of the agencies HMFC's in case you need leverage sometime in the future.

Best of luck

[Viking Kitten]

I'd say it's time for an innerdikshun.

We actually tried that. Her mother finally owned up the fact that girl was using drugs about a year ago, after she tried to con some family members out of money for meth. My mom and I assumed she would immediately be going into rehab, since that's how intervention usually works. We get to the big family meeting, and her mom says, "Oh no. She's not an addict, she doesn't need rehab. This was just a one-time bad decision."

If the only person who is really in a position to dish out the tough love refuses to do it, what the heck are we supposed to do in that situation? Wait for her to hit rock bottom? Great. I have a feeling that might mean six feet under for either her or her kid if she doesn't straighten up.

Her stepdad is my stepbrother, and is a really nice guy, but the mother always prevented him from enforcing any kind of discipline. Basically, he has self esteem issues and the mother roped him into taking care of her and my niece and now the house is just completely dysfunctional and emotionally abusive. The niece is repeating EXACTLY the pattern she watched her mother follow with my stepbrother. I feel so sorry for the three men who are getting victimized by all this, my stepbrother, the new boyfriend and my great nephew.

It's sickening to watch when there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about it. But like BSG said, I really cared about this little girl. I'm mad at myself for not doing enough to prevent all this.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

I'm mad at myself for not doing enough to prevent all this.Don't be mad at yourself. People we love do stupid crap all the time. There comes a time when people have to Grow TFU and make good decisions.

[Okla-homey]

There comes a time when people have to Grow TFU and make good decisions.

better watch that kinda talk or you could be expelled from the Obama-nation.;)

[Oldnslo]

1) Kristen Chenowith is teh awexomes.

2) It could be worse. It could be raining!

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/6/62/MartyFeldman.jpg

[TheHumanAlphabet]

I'd shoot for C or for the sake of family unity, just ignore the whole thing and give no present and don't show up. Having "other plans" works wonders...

[Soonrboy]

Membership to the zoo. Or gift certificate to used book store.

[olevetonahill]

Make a small Donation to " Narcotics Anonymous" In her Name then give her the Receipt

[Cam]

My WT family knows better than to call. I don't talk to them after the time they called and asked for $$$. I guess getting both houses and all of the land wasn't enough for them when the grandparents died.

It's not your fault she's a f'up. Focus on helping the baby, mom's a goner until she gives up the pipe. Go with options C & D.

[A Sooner in Texas]

Make a small Donation to " Narcotics Anonymous" In her Name then give her the Receipt



We have a winnar!!!!!!!!

Srsly, if you decide to give anything at all, it should be something for the kid. A gift card she could buy stuff with then return it for cash.
And DO NOT put any blame on yourself for the girl's problems. She's an adult (at least in terms of age) and she needs to act like a mother. Just be there in case the baby needs you.

[tommieharris91]

Tell her to vote for Obama. When he is elected, he can provide the present to her.