Leroy Lizard
9/27/2008, 09:51 AM
I posted the picture of a dead frog on another thread. That's bad karma and could generate a loss for our team. To put nature back on its proper course, I now have to write a counterpost - one that the weauxf gods will understood as pessimistic about our chances tonight.
If at any time in the future our Sooners lose, we can expect to see the following. Rather than typing a long diatribe about why your favorite team lost, you can just refer to the letter (like ordering from a Chinese restaurant).
1. Waaaaaah! The playcalling sucked! The offensive coordinator needs to be fired! Even my grandmother could have predicted the play before the ball was snapped! Our offense is too p-r-e-d-i-c-t-a-b-l-e!
2. Boo hoo hoo! Our coaches have become complacent because they make too much money! Why coach hard when you will get a big raise even if you lose?! If I ran my company like these coaches coached, we would have went under a long time ago! Did you see the facial expressions of our coaches on the side lines?!?! Obviously they don't care if we win or lose! They just stood there and let it happen!!!!
(Note that the poster probably works at McDonalds, but for the purpose of the argument will transform himself into the CEO of a large technology corporation.)
3. The refs have it in for us! Did you see the other team holding? Why didn't they get called? And the refs cost us a touchdown on that punt return.
4. Our players didn't even try! They read their own press clippings! Someone needs to "light a fire under their asses." If I put the same effort at work that these players did during the game, I would never have made it to (pick a grandly exaggerated job title)! I would have pulled all the starters off the field and had them running laps while the second string played! Every player needs to be informed that their starting position is up for grabs! My high school coach would have had us (pick excruciating punishment) if we had played like that!
(Note that the poster probably works as a clerk at Wal-Mart and that he never played football in his life and would have quit the team if punished so harshly.)
5. Sniff. We lost because Leroy Lizard posted negative thoughts about our chances tonght. Sniff.
6. The other teams always bring 110% when they play us! To them, beating OU is like winning a national championship! (I got my inspiration for this one from the USC boards.)
There must be more.
If at any time in the future our Sooners lose, we can expect to see the following. Rather than typing a long diatribe about why your favorite team lost, you can just refer to the letter (like ordering from a Chinese restaurant).
1. Waaaaaah! The playcalling sucked! The offensive coordinator needs to be fired! Even my grandmother could have predicted the play before the ball was snapped! Our offense is too p-r-e-d-i-c-t-a-b-l-e!
2. Boo hoo hoo! Our coaches have become complacent because they make too much money! Why coach hard when you will get a big raise even if you lose?! If I ran my company like these coaches coached, we would have went under a long time ago! Did you see the facial expressions of our coaches on the side lines?!?! Obviously they don't care if we win or lose! They just stood there and let it happen!!!!
(Note that the poster probably works at McDonalds, but for the purpose of the argument will transform himself into the CEO of a large technology corporation.)
3. The refs have it in for us! Did you see the other team holding? Why didn't they get called? And the refs cost us a touchdown on that punt return.
4. Our players didn't even try! They read their own press clippings! Someone needs to "light a fire under their asses." If I put the same effort at work that these players did during the game, I would never have made it to (pick a grandly exaggerated job title)! I would have pulled all the starters off the field and had them running laps while the second string played! Every player needs to be informed that their starting position is up for grabs! My high school coach would have had us (pick excruciating punishment) if we had played like that!
(Note that the poster probably works as a clerk at Wal-Mart and that he never played football in his life and would have quit the team if punished so harshly.)
5. Sniff. We lost because Leroy Lizard posted negative thoughts about our chances tonght. Sniff.
6. The other teams always bring 110% when they play us! To them, beating OU is like winning a national championship! (I got my inspiration for this one from the USC boards.)
There must be more.