I want to sue

[Penguin]

I've decided that I don't want to work for the rest of my life. The easiest way that I can think of retiring soon is to sue somebody.


I figure a multi-billion dollar corporation would be a good target. I'm sure giving me a few million to drop a suit would be nothing for those fatcats.


Ideas?

[tommieharris91]

Oil companies are hated by everyone these days. Start there.

[Frozen Sooner]

Oil companies are hated by everyone these days. Start there.

Tough to get a ginormous award on oil companies these days though, since the Supremes limited punitive damages to equalling compensatory damages for anything they do while at sea.

Product liability is always a winner. See if you can figure out a use for a ladder that the ladder company hasn't warned against that might occur to a reasonably-sane person, then get injured using it that way.

Ooo, I know-use a ladder as a bridge across a chasm, then fall though the rungs and fork yourself a good one.

Bodily injury AND loss of consortium right there.

[JohnnyMack]

I think you should try the slip and fall routine.

My neck!

My back!

My neck and my back!

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I want 150 Thousand! But I settle outta court for a 40....

[Turd_Ferguson]

Go to Hooter's. Eat some wings and drink a couple of beer's. Go to the p!sser and trip over there uneven wood plank floor. Fall forward into the gas grill they have on display for a prize give away. Dent the grill with your head, wrench your back and scrape the **** outta your arm. I did all of this, but I didn't sue them. I ask my wife about getting an attorney but she said I'd be a sorry mofo for suing somebody because my drunk *** couldn't negotiate my way to the batroom.:O

[Turd_Ferguson]

I want 150 Thousand! But I settle outta court for a 40....Man, it ain't even wet over there fool!

[SicEmBaylor]

I've decided that I don't want to work for the rest of my life. The easiest way that I can think of retiring soon is to sue somebody.


I figure a multi-billion dollar corporation would be a good target. I'm sure giving me a few million to drop a suit would be nothing for those fatcats.


Ideas?

Start a business that is sure to fail. This shouldn't be too hard, and when it does fail sue the government for a bailout pointing to the equal protection and general welfare clauses of the Constitution and the upcoming financial bailout. Point out the fact that it's unconstitutional for Congress to bail out one business but not others and that you expect equal protection under the law.

Then collect your billionz from the gov. :D

[Taxman71]

Go to Hooter's. Eat some wings and drink a couple of beer's. Go to the p!sser and trip over there uneven wood plank floor. Fall forward into the gas grill they have on display for a prize give away. Dent the grill with your head, wrench your back and scrape the **** outta your arm. I did all of this, but I didn't sue them. I ask my wife about getting an attorney but she said I'd be a sorry mofo for suing somebody because my drunk *** couldn't negotiate my way to the batroom.:O

Sounds like she was still pi$$ed about you being at Hooters.....and didn't want it described in the bar journal.

[Turd_Ferguson]

Sounds like she was still pi$$ed about you being at Hooters.....and didn't want it described in the bar journal.Naw, she just has screw pools.

[Taxman71]

I would have asserted that you intended to drink ice tea until a scantily-clad Hooter's girl cooerced you into a pitcher of beer which led you to need to relieve your bladder. I would say it was an involuntary act. An all-male jury might agree.

[tommieharris91]

Start a business that is sure to fail. This shouldn't be too hard, and when it does fail sue the government for a bailout pointing to the equal protection and general welfare clauses of the Constitution and the upcoming financial bailout. Point out the fact that it's unconstitutional for Congress to bail out one business but not others and that you expect equal protection under the law.

Then collect your billionz from the gov. :D

Yea, but those billions will only buy you a gallon of gasoline.

[Turd_Ferguson]

Yea, but those billions will only buy you a gallon of gasoline.and....OU season ticket's for your great great grand childrens great great grand children's:D

[SicEmBaylor]

and....OU season ticket's for your great great grand childrens great great grand children's:D

OR one ticket to the Red River Shootout.

[KC//CRIMSON]

Try and sue one of the large soda pop companies. Tell 'em sometimes when you burp it tickles the shizt out of your nose.