Corporate Harassment Training

[NormanPride]

So I just took this brief online course targeted at preventing my unruly male behavior from spilling over into the workplace. Apparently comments like "Nice ***, Sarah!" or "That top really shows off the implants, Mary." aren't acceptable.

At least that's what this thing tells me.

Seriously, some of the stuff they come up with is amazing. Lots of training videos show what TO do rather than describe and enact the dangerous and insulting tendencies we all have. Not this masterpiece! It's teaching me how not to imitate our Indian support staff's silly accent, how not to gesture lewdly at our female coworkers, and how to whine pitifully to our older coworkers that the overweight girl down the hall likes to lick her lips seductively at you when you eat your lunchables during break time.

I really, REALLY wish I could record this thing and display it proudly to all the denizens on this board, because you really could learn from Steve, who is mad that his boss doesn't like his gay relationship with Marco. And olevet, I'm sure you could gain some insight from Sherry, who is embarrassed about the fact that her slightly younger coworker calls her an old fart and lampoons her recollection of prehistoric television.

Oh GOD. Now they're showing me how to properly hook up with my boss. My boss happens to be a guy, but that (according to this thing) shouldn't deter me from pursuing a rewarding relationship with him. But I must not forget to watch out for his backstabbing once I break up with him for that hot new thing from the Pricing Team. What the ****.

At least it's got one thing right. It's telling me not to pay attention to those whiny beyonces who cry every time someone doesn't obey their obscure little ritual that their particular sect of faith practices strictly. Yeah, screw them!

Any similar experiences, oh enlightened ones of the South Oval?

[SoonerInKCMO]

So... what did you do to get this punishment? It involved Mary and her implants, didn't it?

[NormanPride]

So... what did you do to get this punishment? It involved Mary and her implants, didn't it?

Far from it. It's mandatory for all employees, and I think they're making us do it now because they're firing some people. They almost never fire, but the financial sector is so hideous right now we kind of have to. Thus, distraction by hideously bad harassment training. :D

Look at the keys! Oooh! Look at the keys they're shiny keys aren't they?! Oooh yes they are! Keys!

[tommieharris91]

7L0fy3RTtYY

[StoopTroup]

Been there done all that...

I'm pretty sure we'll be in class again soon to make sure we sign up that we've had our 3rd refresher course.

BTW...you got any pics of Mary? :D

[sooneron]

You can thank the peeps like Homey, Lid and the other board barristers for the heavy litigation that leads to so much of this crap. You live in a CYA world.

[NormanPride]

Meh. With the increasing diversity in the workplace, stuff like this needs to be clarified.

[SoonerStormchaser]

So is Baj gonna file a harrassment suit against you?

[GrapevineSooner]

Reminds me of the Sensitivity Training episode in Rescue Me during Season 2.

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Nice shoes, Mary.

Wanna ****?

[Viking Kitten]

Blech. My co-workers and I were recently required to undergo similar sexual harassment prevention training. They showed us some crappy video that looked like it was produced in 1988. All the victim ladies were rocking the mall bangs and big shoulder pads and whatnot.

How about we teach ladies to simply tell a dude who's hitting on her to f**k right off if he's bugging her? I've never seen that technique fail. No need to make a federal case of little stuff, you know?

Now, I know some times harassment goes beyond that, and if somebody fires a woman because she won't put out, then fine. Sue the guy. But I've also seen some hysterical chicks freak out because a dude is nice to them. Eff that.

[OUDoc]

Blech. My co-workers and I were recently required to undergo similar sexual harassment prevention training. They showed us some crappy video that looked like it was produced in 1988. All the victim ladies were rocking the mall bangs and big shoulder pads and whatnot.

How about we teach ladies to simply tell a dude who's hitting on her to f**k right off if he's bugging her? I've never seen that technique fail. No need to make a federal case of little stuff, you know?

Now, I know some times harassment goes beyond that, and if somebody fires a woman because she won't put out, then fine. Sue the guy. But I've also seen some hysterical chicks freak out because a dude is nice to them. Eff that.

Nice rack, VK.

[Viking Kitten]

I can't argue with fact.



;)

[badger]

So is Baj gonna file a harrassment suit against you?

No. I had to go through the same type of watch-the-video training also.


Far from it. It's mandatory for all employees, and I think they're making us do it now because they're firing some people. They almost never fire, but the financial sector is so hideous right now we kind of have to. Thus, distraction by hideously bad harassment training

So is this why we're suddenly in money saving mode? Are you actually at work all day, or were you fired months ago and hide it by showing up to the building you used to work in?

[SoonerInKCMO]

So is this why we're suddenly in money saving mode? Are you actually at work all day, or were you fired months ago and hide it by showing up to the building you used to work in?

Is NP going to go all Michael Douglas in Falling Down on us? Cuz that'd be cool. :texan:

[NormanPride]

No. I had to go through the same type of watch-the-video training also.



So is this why we're suddenly in money saving mode? Are you actually at work all day, or were you fired months ago and hide it by showing up to the building you used to work in?

No we're in money saving mode because paying off a car loan is expensive. :D It's the financial sector which is getting hit, and I am in Healthcare.

And jaux, the video touched on what to do if Habeeb from blank-i-stan kisses you on the cheek in greeting, etc. To paraphrase: "It's cool if you're cool with it... and if you're not... why you gotta be so cold, brah?"

[badger]

Good to hear, NP... checking the news wire with your company attached to the word "layoffs" shows that they are letting a lot of people go... which I guess in actually is less than three percent.

SNL once picked up on how funny those videos are... and then made one that wasn't funny at all.

[NormanPride]

That in itself is funny. Is that meta-humor?

[Boarder]

Blech. My co-workers and I were recently required to undergo similar sexual harassment prevention training. They showed us some crappy video that looked like it was produced in 1988. All the victim ladies were rocking the mall bangs and big shoulder pads and whatnot.

How about we teach ladies to simply tell a dude who's hitting on her to f**k right off if he's bugging her? I've never seen that technique fail. No need to make a federal case of little stuff, you know?

Now, I know some times harassment goes beyond that, and if somebody fires a woman because she won't put out, then fine. Sue the guy. But I've also seen some hysterical chicks freak out because a dude is nice to them. Eff that.
Yo, if I tell them off I ain't gonna be able to get payed.