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SicEmBaylor
9/23/2008, 12:24 PM
Okay, this is freaking crazy. Yesterday, I received in the mail a letter from the county jail. Now, the envelope was already opened because the sticky stuff on the back of the envelope must have worn off or something. The letter is addressed to one, "Baby Girl Dzea." Upon closer inspect, not only had the post office delivered this letter to the wrong house but to the wrong freaking state! The street address was the same as mine, but it was the wrong damned city -- it was suppose to go to some city in Michigan!

Anyway, I'll admit it...I read the letter. I'm a bad bad man I know. People, this is some FUNNY *** ****. I'm going to type this letter here for everyone to read and I'm going to type it EXACTLY as is with the mistakes and all. I will say that after reading the letter I kind of felt sorry for the guy who is in jail. Included in this letter was an order form for everything from underwear to candy bars and this inmate had checked off all the items he needed (mostly BBQ chips and candy bars). So, today I returned this letter to him with a note explaining what happened along with some of the candy bars and chips he wanted.

Here is the letter:

Hello

What's been up with you? The letter you sent me Smell good . Plus you been under the weather you say. Now i will Just have to pray harder So you can fell much much better. I am in my room because it have been to fights in the last eight hours the Police have Everyone lock down in i don't know how long we will be lock down for. ask your bro how was the first day of school for him? I am happy you are not Pregnant neither, but now you should start puting on condoms. I know they might not fell to well but they helps from catching things. You don't have to listen to me cause its your body cause must of the time when i tell you something you always end up doing the oppenest. anyways. Yell i already know you love me somewhat and you have a crazy way of showing it. I just hope one day we both can get a understanding about each other even if we anit together. cause i know if you do have aboyfriend by the time I come home he will be rule disappointment at you cause I am still going to come around get on your computer and be around your family I guess if you let me? we will just have to see.

I don't know what date or day you will get this cause right now we are still lock down and plus I don't have any envelopes at this moment to send this out. I will try to find one tomorrow after my visit. Like you said hope to see you monday if not next monday or this monday. I hope you call the phone people sometime this week so they can fix your phone. Tell your Mother in everyone I said hello. I am happy that your bill are paid about time. Now when you do send me some money I will be able to buy some envelopes and me some candy bars. I have been eating 3Musketeers candybars like its not anymore on this Earth. The candybar cost $1.16 for one and they are about to go up to $1.27. Sometime this week.

Turn over turn over. I'm not talking about the paper I am talking about that ***!! I'm just playing.

Around Aug 28 my mom paid the barbershop to come down hear to cut my face they never showed up I was told she paid the wrong ship So I hope she come up monday so i can tell her to call them up in get the money back, she paid the money to the shop by wood St. store. she was sopose to pay the one across From Family doller I was told. I see someone told you that I have got a year it's there story. In the jail you can only do ten months on a yer anywayz and I have been lock up 5 1/2 months now. So now this should tell you about how much time i have to do if i got a year. I am trying to go to the program that chi went to cause the program he went to you will be home and 90 days or lest. so how is you in your sister geting along now? and have the kids beening good for you lately? and when was you going to go see your sister out of town? Did you ever take your divertesk over yet? Cause I remember you told me you was.

And have you been going to church? and one more thing before I go you say you lov me, miss me and I'm your heart and you Bae. Why do you say these things you don't mean can you explain to me why you love me and miss me and explain to me what kind of luv you reeely have for me. I'm out now, God Bless you -- Markie

Monday:

Hey it was coool that you came to vist me w/b soon but the time went so fast. I just cant picture the table in you room it just seme like it won't be no room but I bet it is cute with you bear in everything Else on it. Did you call my mom in tell her to call the barbershop in get that money back so she can pay the right one. Why in you letters you be wrighting you tell me you love me then on the visits you don't whats up with that. i hope it don't rain on your head by the time you make it home. I'm out, peace.

What's up sweetheat?
How have things been seance monday? Sorry this letter got to you late but I told you i didn't have no envelopes but as you can see i found one. did you call my mom and tell her to call the babershop so she can get that money back in take it to the right barbershop so ic an get my face done. if you would of called her like you said you was I would have it done by now. Her number is ***-****. Thank you have a great day talk to you monday!

P.S. do you know that i have mad love for you even tho you love to be a disappointment to me half of the time.

Peace out, Markie.

CK Sooner
9/23/2008, 12:26 PM
WTF

:D

CK Sooner
9/23/2008, 12:27 PM
Turn over turn over. I'm not talking about the paper I am talking about that ***!! I'm just playing.

Heh

:D

Big Red Ron
9/23/2008, 12:35 PM
That dude would rob your mother.

but if eyu fell haf da tim eyu ned to hep a brutha out , that coll tew.

Boomer_Sooner_sax
9/23/2008, 01:14 PM
When I worked at the court clerk's office, we would get letters all the time and they were PRICELESS. You really wonder why these guys are in jail? It is amazing at how dim these people really are. One of our clerks used an alias in writing letters and it was amazing how many people "saw" her even though she never went to the jail and that name didn't exist. Ah, I miss those days! HAHA!

NormanPride
9/23/2008, 01:40 PM
Wow. That's pretty bad... Did you really send the guy chips and candy?

M
9/23/2008, 02:00 PM
Can you look up this dude on the Department of Corrections Web site to see who you're dealing with?

CK Sooner
9/23/2008, 02:06 PM
Can you look up this dude on the Department of Corrections Web site to see who you're dealing with?

I found him.

http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff168/mr_skitt4lzz/twat.jpg

SicEmBaylor
9/23/2008, 02:09 PM
Can you look up this dude on the Department of Corrections Web site to see who you're dealing with?

Yep. I already did. Hold on a sec and I'll post his pic and info.

SicEmBaylor
9/23/2008, 02:14 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/SicEmBaylor/inmate.jpg

Big Red Ron
9/23/2008, 02:15 PM
Yep. I already did. Hold on a sec and I'll post his pic and info.
lol, this is sorta fun.

Big Red Ron
9/23/2008, 02:16 PM
See, I told ya he'd rob yer mom. :D Unibrow

CK Sooner
9/23/2008, 02:16 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/SicEmBaylor/inmate.jpg

He scares me.

Bail him out SicEm!

:D

M
9/23/2008, 02:19 PM
He's got a court date coming up. Sicem, show up for court and tell him the letter he sent you "Smell good."

Big Red Ron
9/23/2008, 02:19 PM
And to turn it over.

SicEmBaylor
9/23/2008, 02:23 PM
And to turn it over.

The paper or that ***? ;)

Anyway, yes I really sent the guy BBQ chips and some candy bars.

8timechamps
9/23/2008, 02:32 PM
i hope it don't rain on your head by the time you make it home.

I don't know why, but for some reason, I laughed for a good five minutes when I read it.

NormanPride
9/23/2008, 02:37 PM
The paper or that ***? ;)

Anyway, yes I really sent the guy BBQ chips and some candy bars.

You gonna go on a date?

BillyBall
9/23/2008, 02:52 PM
That was worth the 5 minutes I just wasted on that...

Okla-homey
9/23/2008, 02:53 PM
I hope he and baby girl sues your skinny white butt for invasion of privacy. And with the evidence posted hereon, they'd win! srsly.

tommieharris91
9/23/2008, 02:54 PM
IBTD

swardboy
9/23/2008, 02:56 PM
Markie gonna show up on year dore step dood

I'll never be able to hear "turn over" without smirking...thanks

Boomer_Sooner_sax
9/23/2008, 03:02 PM
I nominate this as the greatest thread ever!

BillyBall
9/23/2008, 03:04 PM
I nominate this as the greatest thread ever!

Its not even thread of the day go read tbl's "roping a deer"

StoopTroup
9/23/2008, 03:53 PM
He really needs a shave.


Dearest Markie...

I got your letter by mistake as they sent it to my address in Waco Texas by mistake. I couldnt believe we have so much in common. I hav da trubl wit ta wimmens to. Bittches man. I an senbin you some chips and some beef jerky. You should write me instead of tat twotimer. Also...Ive made a monie orda for $200.00 in your nameand there is a plane ticket to Waco waiting fer you at the Southwest ticket counter in Detriot.

Come see me when you get out...

:D ;)

Lott's Bandana
9/23/2008, 03:58 PM
d00d prolly has the innerweb's in McLennan County lockup and is gonna show up for some piggie at the tailgate.

It's speeled: Es Eye See Ee Ehm

Looks like Homey will be representing the plaintiff...

StoopTroup
9/23/2008, 04:08 PM
Judge Joe Brown presiding. :D

Sooner Born Sooner Bred
9/23/2008, 05:29 PM
Looks like Snoop Dog

Tiptonsooner
9/23/2008, 07:21 PM
Looks like Snoop Dog


Writes like Dolemite...

LoyalFan
9/23/2008, 08:12 PM
I hope he and baby girl sues your skinny white butt for invasion of privacy. And with the evidence posted hereon, they'd win! srsly.

Homester,

You're dead on target. SicEm has really stepped into it this time. All it'll take is for the jailbird, any of his family or friends, Jesse Jerkson, etc, to get wind of this violation privacy and awayyyyyyy we go.
Not only that, but our beloved resident Ineptitude Poster Child may have violated federal law in opening the 'lope knowing the letter was not intended for him.
All that gloom and doom notwithstanding, we may yet be amused to learn that the perp, upon release, has sought out Sic and "made him his own". Mwaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaha...gasp...ha.

LF

StoopTroup
9/23/2008, 08:15 PM
SicEm...I'd be calling Robert Downey, Jr. for some advice on getting in tune with your roots. :D ;)

http://movies.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/robert-downey-jr-black-man.jpg

Curly Bill
9/23/2008, 08:18 PM
I just had to post in this allsome thread. :D

...and I'd like to say: all you peeps quit giving SicEm a hard time for trying to make friends. ;)

birddog
9/23/2008, 09:46 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/SicEmBaylor/inmate.jpg

he must get his fancy learnins from the people who misspelled "obstructing".

SicEmBaylor
9/23/2008, 10:03 PM
You just can't do nice things for people these days.

olevetonahill
9/23/2008, 10:21 PM
You just can't do nice things for people these days.

Sicem what county is that ?
Hell I may send him a few bucks also .

SicEmBaylor
9/23/2008, 10:24 PM
d00d prolly has the innerweb's in McLennan County lockup and is gonna show up for some piggie at the tailgate.

It's speeled: Es Eye See Ee Ehm

Looks like Homey will be representing the plaintiff...

This guy isn't in jail in McLennan County. He's not even in jail in Texas. He's not even in jail in a state neighboring a state that neighbors Texas.

Curly Bill
9/23/2008, 10:26 PM
This guy isn't in jail in McLennan County. He's not even in jail in Texas. He's not even in jail in a state neighboring a state that neighbors Texas.

You do know these long distance relationships rarely work out? :D

SicEmBaylor
9/23/2008, 10:29 PM
I'd like to hear from Dean how the Post Office can **** up that badly. I mean good God they weren't even reasonably close on this one.

Curly Bill
9/23/2008, 10:30 PM
I'd like to hear from Dean how the Post Office can **** up that badly. I mean good God they weren't even reasonably close on this one.

Maybe Dean is actually behind this caper? :D

Sooner Born Sooner Bred
9/23/2008, 10:47 PM
Is it less of a crime if he had used his weak arm to rob someone?

SicEmBaylor
9/23/2008, 11:11 PM
Is it less of a crime if he had used his baby arm to rob someone?

Fixed and very good question!

OUTromBoNado
9/23/2008, 11:41 PM
I'd like to hear from Dean how the Post Office can **** up that badly. I mean good God they weren't even reasonably close on this one.

Maybe something with the zip code?....

SoonerKnight
9/24/2008, 02:04 AM
You can't send candy bars and chips to inmates in jail. You have to put money on their books and they buy the stuff at really steep prices. A phone call is only $2.25 a minute! :D

olevetonahill
9/24/2008, 02:17 AM
You can't send candy bars and chips to inmates in jail. You have to put money on their books and they buy the stuff at really steep prices. A phone call is only $2.25 a minute! :D

In mate Huh ? :D

OUHOMER
9/24/2008, 07:06 AM
You can't send candy bars and chips to inmates in jail. You have to put money on their books and they buy the stuff at really steep prices. A phone call is only $2.25 a minute! :D

I was about to post the same thing. They will throw the stuff in the trash.
You should have forwarded the letter on. You might want to delete this thread before it comes back to haunt you.:O