View Full Version : Brian Kelly...
birddog
9/1/2008, 12:19 PM
believes adding peanut butter to a dirty sanchez is a "classy combo."
tommieharris91
9/1/2008, 12:20 PM
...thinks Jason White never should have received his extra eligibility.
sooner59
9/1/2008, 12:38 PM
Thinks that since he has to move on with a different QB that Ben Mauk will likely play for the Jets this season.
SbOrOiNaEnR
9/1/2008, 12:40 PM
...thinks Ben Mauk would have better luck with the appeals process if he were on Death Row.
...hopes Sarah Palin's daughter doesn't request a paternity test.
illinisooner
9/1/2008, 12:59 PM
...crashed his whip while ghost riding.
King Crimson
9/1/2008, 01:01 PM
...tucks his shirt into his briefs.
NASASooner
9/1/2008, 07:14 PM
...wears a thong at the nude beach.
StoopTroup
9/1/2008, 07:17 PM
...loves teh pornstache.
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/08127xA1iZbfA/340x.jpg
StormySooner-IN
9/1/2008, 07:19 PM
...still believes in Santa.
Breadburner
9/1/2008, 07:45 PM
never leaves the house without his vibrating Nimbus 2000.....
IronHorseSooner
9/1/2008, 07:48 PM
...tries to tune into WKRP only to be sorely disappointed.
batonrougesooner
9/1/2008, 08:01 PM
...still can't figure out how they got a bear and a cat to mate.
StoopTroup
9/1/2008, 08:07 PM
...still can't figure out how they got a bear and a cat to mate.
...and his cat hates it when he starts acting like Yogi.
bstuff1979
9/1/2008, 08:34 PM
...wears bacon-pants
Crucifax Autumn
9/2/2008, 03:43 AM
...Thinks Jedi is the best Star Wars movie
OU_Sooners75
9/2/2008, 03:50 AM
....Forgot to add a direction to Oklahoma when making the schedule.
SOONERnTx
9/2/2008, 07:42 AM
....will make sure he has his depends on as he walks into the stadium
.....just bought the re-relese of Steel Magnolias.
CincySooner
9/2/2008, 08:47 AM
...likes his Skyline in a bowl.
(sorry, you gotta know the Cincinnati area to get that one. Just know that Skyline Chili does not belong in a bowl.)
batonrougesooner
9/2/2008, 09:16 AM
...likes his Skyline in a bowl.
(sorry, you gotta know the Cincinnati area to get that one. Just know that Skyline Chili does not belong in a bowl.)
Where does it belong?
... is neither bear nor cat.
r5TPsooner
9/2/2008, 09:43 AM
Has two first names.
MrJimBeam
9/2/2008, 10:38 AM
....would like the team to be refered to as "THE Cincinnati University Bearcats", just to P-off Tressel.
WA. Sooner
9/2/2008, 10:42 AM
Still talks about going to The Who concert
...would like to set the record straight: He THOUGHT. The COP. Was... a PROSTITUTE.
(nods head)
WA. Sooner
9/2/2008, 10:44 AM
Didn't know that turkeys couldn't fly
...will have the team wear black jerseys in Norman to compensate for the bad@$$ talent that he doesn't have.
jdubb22bronco
9/2/2008, 11:24 AM
...is gonna get beat like DeMarcus Graham
SoonerAtKU
9/2/2008, 11:45 AM
Where does it belong?
In your trash/garbage disposal/compost pile/whathaveyou.
yuck.
on topic
...votes with his wallet by using the corner to push the little buttons in the booth.
OKLA21FAN
9/2/2008, 11:51 AM
would rather be in Cleveland
CincySooner
9/2/2008, 12:15 PM
Where does it belong?
Skyline is best served over spaghetti or on a chili dog. It is far too runny to be used as a stand-alone meal. It has an interesting flavor (it has, among other things, cinnamon and chocolate in it), and makes for a VERY good late-night drunk snack (I'll have three coneys, with cheese, mustard and onions... yum.).
I personally refuse to refer to it as "chili". Rather it is a meat sauce to be applied in generous portions.
Has his foot caught in the railroad track.
Has a secret obsession with Drew Carey.
Wants your Almond Joy because his mound has no nuts.
...counts Philip Fulmer, Dennis Franchione and Rick Neuheisel among his coaching idols.
...supplied Herb Tarlek's wardrobe from his own closet.
...likes the DVD version of WKRP better, with all the good songs edited out.
...thought Les was wayyy cooler than Venus.
...was one of the protesters when WKRP went rock and roll
...was one of the phone cops, man
...did not find Bailey or Jennifer hot. Andy, on the other hand...
...had to be talked off the ledge of the Flem Building once because one of the Reds started a rumor that he was gay.
birddog
9/2/2008, 12:47 PM
snorts mouse droppings to show recruits he'll do anything to sign them.
birddog
9/2/2008, 12:50 PM
took parachuting lessons from the uc bearcat.
...tried to convince everyone that this was all planned:
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aUXSkE0FtXY&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aUXSkE0FtXY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
(thanks to maestro for the link)
Osagecrimson
9/2/2008, 05:44 PM
likes to race walk in 6" stilettos
madillsoonerfan5353
9/2/2008, 06:05 PM
... likes to tuck his package between his legs and look at his cooter!!!!
Sooner_09
9/2/2008, 07:34 PM
...refers to #85 as ocho cinco
goingoneight
9/2/2008, 09:19 PM
... is Malcom Kelly's cousin.
stoops the eternal pimp
9/2/2008, 09:40 PM
peed on a girl like R
goingoneight
9/2/2008, 09:42 PM
... then poo'd on a boy.
... then poo'd on a boy.
......would like to report this post because he swears that it was a girl....
... is using Cinci as a stepping stone to the NFL, so long as he doesn't end up with the Bengals, because gawd, the city succs.
soonerbrat
9/3/2008, 09:02 AM
Where does it belong?
in the trash.
in the trash.
...because Brian Kelly never recycles.
TheHumanAlphabet
9/3/2008, 09:15 AM
Wonders what the hell is a bearcat???
Thought he was accepting a job to be a Buckeye - that other Ohio school...
...thinks "OU" can't be any tougher than that Ohio University next door.
fadada1
9/3/2008, 09:25 AM
... thinks "bat wings" on his tighty whities impresses the ladies.
...gets ticked off when people call him Kelly and prays for the day when he never has to use the phrase "No, that is my last name" ever again.
OUMallen
9/3/2008, 09:42 AM
...affects a British accent when trying to pick up chicks at the bar.
mfosterftw
9/3/2008, 09:47 AM
...thinks a Red Wiggler should come with batteries...
... buys fireworks on July 5 because they're on sale.
OUMallen
9/3/2008, 10:12 AM
...converses entirely in Austin Powers quotes.
mfosterftw
9/3/2008, 10:23 AM
...celebrated the deaths of Don LaFontaine and Jerry Reed...
...got booed ferociously for admitting that he was a fan of his alma mater and not all things Ohio.
... then got confused stares from Ohioans when he said his alma mater was "Assumption College."
stoops the eternal pimp
9/3/2008, 10:30 AM
mind keeps telling him no but his body, his body keeps telling him yes
...has every season of Sex and the City on DVD and hosts nightly watch parties with the players; MANDATORY watch parties.
stoops the eternal pimp
9/3/2008, 10:35 AM
Likes to sing Woody's Kelly song from Cheers
OUMallen
9/3/2008, 10:55 AM
...was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Kelly (black muslim) of Nyangoma-Kogelo, Siaya District, Kenya, and Ann Dunham of Wichita, Kansas. (white atheist).
When Kelly was two years old, his parents divorced and his father returned to Kenya. His mother married Lolo Soetoro -- a Muslim -- moving to Jakarta with Kelly when he was six years old. Within six months he had learned to speak the Indonesian language. Kelly spent "two years in a Muslim school, then two more in a Catholic school" in Jakarta. Kelly takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim while admitting that he was once a Muslim, mitigating that damning information by saying that, for two years, he also attended a Catholic school.
Kelly's father, Barack Hussein Kelly was a radical Muslim who migrated from Kenya to Jakarta, Indonesia. He met Kelly's mother, Ann Dunham-a white atheist from Wichita, Kansas-at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. Kelly, Sr. and Dunham divorced when Brian was two.
Kelly's spinmeisters are now attempting to make it appear that Kelly's introduction to Islam came from his father and that influence was temporary at best.
In reality, the senior Kelly returned to Kenya immediately following the divorce and never again had any direct influence over his son's education.
Dunham married another Muslim, Lolo Soetoro who educated his stepson as a good Muslim by enrolling him in one of Jakarta's Wahabbi schools. Wahabbism is the radical teaching that created the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad on the industrialized world.
Since it is politically expedient to be a Christian when you are a head football coach of a BCS school in the United States, Kelly joined the United Church of Christ to help purge any notion that he is still a Muslim.
:les: PASS THIS ON!!![hairGel]
... calls his offensive trick plays the "Blue Screen of Death" and the "Red Ring of Death," because his computer freezes when he tries to type them out, and his XBox 360 freezes every time he tries to test them out on NCAA Football 2008.
...just killed this thread ;)
stoops the eternal pimp
9/3/2008, 12:32 PM
wonders why Badj hasn't posted in this thread in 32 minutes
wonders why Badj hasn't posted in this thread in 32 minutes
... asked Bob Stoops, who said it's because double posting is something a Bearcat would do, kind of like posting "bear" and "cat" back to back in a mascot name.
...will run onto the field with all of his players carrying umbrellas to adjust to the weather, only to have them immediately revoked by security.
OUMallen
9/3/2008, 12:54 PM
...will steal toilet paper from the lockerroom to take to his family.
...will take a number 3 just before stepping on to OUr field.
SbOrOiNaEnR
9/3/2008, 06:38 PM
...met up with George Michael in a public men's room, then joined SF.com to try to neg spek SbOrOiNaEnR for a topical reference that's ten years old.
IronHorseSooner
9/3/2008, 07:07 PM
....believes that he can be like Pete Carroll and invite local celebrities to practices to spice things up. This week they are Jerry Springer, Larry Flint, and Chad Ocho Cinco.
stoops the eternal pimp
9/4/2008, 09:16 AM
named ben mauk the starter this week anyway
...believes that Ohio can be a battleground state in politics and football, but unfortunately, just like the Republicans win Ohio every time, there's no beating tOSU (because they pulled out of their contract with Cinci).
birddog
9/4/2008, 09:52 AM
buys a variety of mustaches online and chooses which one to wear according to mood.
OUMallen
9/4/2008, 10:00 AM
...designed the OKC Thunder logo and thinks it rawks.
...got so drunk at his brother's second wedding that he provided a toast - to his brother and bro's first wife.
SoonerBornSoonerBrett
9/4/2008, 10:36 AM
...chews with his mouth open and wears SpotBilt coaches shoes with a red stripe
IronHorseSooner
9/4/2008, 11:20 AM
....thinks the Maplethorpe exhibit got a bad rap.
Boomer.....
9/4/2008, 11:33 AM
...is happy about the New Kids on the Block reuniting.
OUMallen
9/4/2008, 01:03 PM
...is not happy about NKOTB reuniting because he was the sixth man in the first incarnation and was cut last-second by a producer.
... cannot understand why Oklahoma State is not selling out football season tickets.
soonerbrat
9/4/2008, 01:41 PM
doesn't like the blue recycling bags they pass out at LNC
EDIT: ON SECOND THOUGHT, INAPPROPRIATE.
...um... yeah... so... Brian Kelly... he... um...
...wrote a 10-step plan on how to put away groceries properly
birddog
9/4/2008, 01:46 PM
can't return phone calls to recruits because he's low on minutes.
birddog
9/4/2008, 01:48 PM
instead of passing out game balls, passes out arby's coupons.
...has a football budget so low that they tried to outsource football talent from India. Uber phail.
Boomer.....
9/4/2008, 02:03 PM
...only tips 10% at restaurants and thinks that's fair.
...and then leaves a penny behind because he thinks it is "good luck" for the wait staff.
illinisooner
9/4/2008, 02:34 PM
...is on Dubya's "Axis of Evil" list.
..."accidentally" took Jim Tressell's luggage on his way out of Ohio for this weekend's game. After video surveillance revealed Kelly as the guilty baggage claimer, Kelly returned it with apologies... but without it's $1 million pay raise (http://www.bizjournals.com/dayton/stories/2008/08/25/daily37.html), Lloyd Carr stolen mojo, and 13 new-one-each-week red and silver sweater vests.
Boomer.....
9/4/2008, 02:38 PM
...wears Axe body spray because he thinks it will help his chances with the ladies.
cjames317
9/5/2008, 12:02 PM
visited Todd and Sarah Palin's home five months ago.
mobilesteve
9/5/2008, 01:25 PM
Once watched a Jayhawk fight a Bearcat. It ended in a draw
stoops the eternal pimp
9/5/2008, 01:47 PM
doesn't read the SO during presidential election years
birddog
9/5/2008, 02:25 PM
switched from copenhagen to longhorn to save a few bucks.
illinisooner
9/5/2008, 03:11 PM
...uses "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" because he likes to be incredulous.
SoonerTroll
9/5/2008, 03:19 PM
.. is waiting for the power of the quail.
... got suspended by Joe Paterno along with the kitchen sink.
...is all out of love. He's so lost without you...
IronHorseSooner
9/5/2008, 04:05 PM
....really enjoyed the Papajohn's.com bowl last year because of all of the free pizza.
illinisooner
9/6/2008, 10:14 AM
...looks to Dennis Green and Jim Mora for postgame press conference advice.
Breadburner
9/6/2008, 11:23 AM
wishes he could be Rosie O'Donnels spoon for a day....
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