Okla-homey
8/27/2008, 01:30 PM
How many SEC undergrads does it take to change a light bulb?
§ At VANDERBILT: it takes 2, one to change the bulb,
and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as
the bulbs changed at Harvard.
§ At GEORGIA: it takes 2, one to change the bulb,
and one to phone an engineer at Georgia Tech for
instructions.
§ At FLORIDA: it takes 4, one to screw in the bulb,
and 3 to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.
§ At ALABAMA: it takes 5, one to change it, 3 to
reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to
throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.
§ At OLE MISS: it takes 6, one to change it, 2 to
mix the drinks, and 3 to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to
wear for the occasion.
§ At LSU: it takes 7, and each one gets credit for 5
Semester hours.
§ At KENTUCKY: it takes 8, one to screw it in, and 7
to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during
basketball season.
§ At TENNESSEE: it takes 10, 2 to figure out how to
screw it in, 2 to buy an orange lampshade, and 6 to phone a
radio show and talk about how much they hate Alabama.
§ At MISSISSIPPI STATE: it takes 15, one to screw in
the bulb, 2 to buy the Skoal, one to ring that damned cow
bell, and 11 to yell, 'GO TO #*!!, OLE MISS'.
§ At AUBURN: it takes 100, one to change it, 49 to
talk about how they did it better than at Bama, and 50 to
get drunk and roll Toomer's Corner when finished.
§ At SOUTH CAROLINA: it takes 80,000, one to screw
it in, and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the
year that they have a decent football team.
§ At ARKANSAS: None. There ain't no
'lectricity in Arkansas!
§ At VANDERBILT: it takes 2, one to change the bulb,
and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as
the bulbs changed at Harvard.
§ At GEORGIA: it takes 2, one to change the bulb,
and one to phone an engineer at Georgia Tech for
instructions.
§ At FLORIDA: it takes 4, one to screw in the bulb,
and 3 to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.
§ At ALABAMA: it takes 5, one to change it, 3 to
reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to
throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.
§ At OLE MISS: it takes 6, one to change it, 2 to
mix the drinks, and 3 to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to
wear for the occasion.
§ At LSU: it takes 7, and each one gets credit for 5
Semester hours.
§ At KENTUCKY: it takes 8, one to screw it in, and 7
to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during
basketball season.
§ At TENNESSEE: it takes 10, 2 to figure out how to
screw it in, 2 to buy an orange lampshade, and 6 to phone a
radio show and talk about how much they hate Alabama.
§ At MISSISSIPPI STATE: it takes 15, one to screw in
the bulb, 2 to buy the Skoal, one to ring that damned cow
bell, and 11 to yell, 'GO TO #*!!, OLE MISS'.
§ At AUBURN: it takes 100, one to change it, 49 to
talk about how they did it better than at Bama, and 50 to
get drunk and roll Toomer's Corner when finished.
§ At SOUTH CAROLINA: it takes 80,000, one to screw
it in, and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the
year that they have a decent football team.
§ At ARKANSAS: None. There ain't no
'lectricity in Arkansas!