Little-Known OSU Football Facts

[Pieces Hit]

Academic eligibility requires the ability to clearly enunciate "You-want-fries-with-that?"


One flexibility test is gauged on the distance a player can lean from a drive-thru window.


Pistol Pete's head swelled to it's freakish proportions due to a rare strain of pasture syphilis.


Windmills and solar panels are being installed atop the stadium to generate simulated crowd noise.

[stoopified]

Little known?That is all common knowledge around these parts.

[Pieces Hit]

"First and Ten"
a.k.a.
"First Offense & Ten Weeks Community Service"


Glad they don't play Jenks or Union.
But wishes their bands played for them.

[tommieharris91]

"First and Ten"
a.k.a.
"First Offense & Ten Weeks Community Service"


I think this fits texass a lot more than osu.

[badger]

Q: What's the difference between a Oklahoma State University fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: How many Oklahoma State University fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the Oklahoma State University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Oklahoma State University weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: Why don't Oklahoma State University fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.

A Oklahoma State University fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: Did you hear about the Oklahoma State University fan who locked his keys in his car?
A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: Why do Oklahoma State University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Two Oklahoma State University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do. The first Oklahoma State University fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The second Oklahoma State University fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it." The first Oklahoma State University fan asks, "Why not?" The second Oklahoma State University fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Oklahoma State University campus?
A: A visitor.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Oklahoma State University library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in Oklahoma State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: Do you know why the Oklahoma State University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Oklahoma State University campus?
A: The officials had to check ID's before letting anyone back on board.

Q: What does the average Oklahoma State University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a Oklahoma State University?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: What should you do if you find three Oklahoma State University fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war." The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish." "Well," the General responds, "then can you have Oklahoma State University win against OU this year?" After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."

Q: How do you make Oklahoma State University cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Oklahoma State University fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: How many Oklahoma State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.

(note - these are actually Meat Chicken jokes that I found online, but tactfully replaced all references to Michigan with OSU, but hopefully they made you laugh this morning)

[Pieces Hit]

"ORANGE POW-ER!"

(much more sporty than the original, "Happy Halloween!")

[badger]

Ok, I'm back with more rip-off jokes :D

Two Oklahoma State football players were hootin' and hollerin' while
partying on campus when a bartender asked them why they were
celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished
a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. "Two months?!"
exclaimed the bartender. The Cowboy proudly replied, "Yeah, the
box said 4-6 years!"

---

An Oklahoma State football player was almost killed today in a tragic
horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly
trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out an
unplugged the horse just in time.

---
Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: An OSU grad, an Oklahoma grad, a Texas Tech grad, and an A&M grad.
Each proclaimed to be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. As
they climbed higher, they argued as to which of them was the most
loyal of all.
They continued to argue all the way to the top when the A&M
grad hurled himself off the mountainside shouting, "This is for the
Aggies!" Not wanting to be out done, the Tech grad
threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for
the Red Raiders!" Seeing this, the OU grad walked over and
shouted, "This is for the Sooners!" and pushed the OSU grad
off the mountain.

---

Why is ice no longer available at Oklahoma State football games?
Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.

---

What are the three longest years of a Oklahoma State football player's life?
His freshman year.

[Pieces Hit]

How do you get an OSU cheerleader into your motel room?

Grease her hips and push.

[AimForCenterMass]

I don't get the obsession with OSU; this is an OU forum.

[badger]

I don't get the obsession with OSU; this is an OU forum.

Like I said, all I did was cut a different school's name out and replace it with OSU's name. There really is no obsession here about Poke, except when their students act stunned on national television. Then, there is a cult following with t-shirts printed.

[hgarmorer]

How can tell it's Homecoming week in Stoolwater?




The cheerleaders have their armpit hair braided

[Pieces Hit]

How do ya get an Poke Graduate off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

Thnx - I'm here all week.

[tommieharris91]

Since this is today's bash osu thread, I might as well post this little gem of a thread here. Note the Target bashing and Wal-Mart hyping.

http://www.orangepower.com/showthread.php?p=598898#post598898